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I have always found it difficult to make friends. I have lots of friends on facebook, but I want close friendships with people I can trust. I have always been a very positive person. Some people have even been annoyed by my cheerfulness. I try to not let that bother me, but eventually it does and I forget to be cheerful and then I let the cares of the world bring me down. I have recently learned about EFT. That really helps when negative emotions and feelings hit me. I have gone to churches and home groups at churches and have found that even in the most conservitive churches the people are still gossipping, judging, cliquish, misguided by republican leaders, obnoxious as parents, negative minded, controling, etc... I don't say this to be judgemental and critical, but discerning. I need to discern who I will be around and who I will have around my child. I don't know where to go to make friends. I have not been successful meeting friends at church or church functions. So, where did you meet the friend(s) that you have that you trust and are good people to be around? Thank you.
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I would probably say that actively going out with the intention of looking for friends when you feel you don't have many/any would fall into the category of "taking action" from a place of not being aligned...in my experience, that approach isn't the best one. I'm not saying that you are doing this - I'm just saying that I notice a lot of people doing this, especially with the advent of friendship/dating websites. One could consider this approach to be the opposite of seeking to make yourself feel like you have enough friends first (even if you don't) and then following your own inspirations/impulses about where to go or what to do. In my own experience, the people I genuinely feel are friends have always come in really unexpected ways...perhaps because they have tended to be quite unusual people in many respects. With some of them (actually, now that I think about it, most of them!), our paths kept crossing again and again until it dawned on me that we had more in common than I first thought. Nowadays, I don't go looking for "good" friends, I just get on with my routine life (though it is often far from routine) and let whoever comes come. One other point, I think it's as important to "let go" of friends that you feel no longer serve you as much as it is to allow new ones into your life. I've never had a problem with "letting go" of people though I know many who do. I think trying to force a friendship to continue when it feels uncomfortable for both parties, even if you have known each other a long time, isn't really doing either of you much of a service.
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Thank you, Stingray for your input. Could you share where you met your friends, please? You said you saw them several places, like, Walmart? I don't get much flow of trafic through my house, so I have to go out there somewhere to interact with people. The churches I have been to haven't been full of people that are going to be my friends, so where do I go? Thanks!
(11 Apr '11, 13:33)
Fairy Princess
@Juniper - To tell you where I met them wouldn't help you. As I said in my answer, that would fall into the category of action before alignment. When you take the time to align with a state of being of having lots of friends, you will be inspired to your own unique way of finding the right people at the right time
(11 Apr '11, 15:54)
Stingray
A passing quote?... When you focus upon lack in an attitude of complaining, you establish a vibrational point of attraction that then gives you access only to more thoughts of complaint. Your deliberate effort to tell a new story will establish a new pattern of thought, providing you with a new point of attraction from your present, about your past, and into your future. The simple effort of looking for positive aspects will set a new vibrational tone that will begin the immediate attraction of thoughts, people, circumstances, and things that are pleasing to you. --- Abraham
(12 Apr '11, 10:12)
ursixx
That quote says it perfectly
(12 Apr '11, 10:34)
Stingray
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For almost two years I have been involved with a wonderful bunch of likeminded people through a meetup group. We all share similar intrests and have evolved into quite a large spiritual group. Just check the web under meetups and see what happens. It's been great for us. Goodluck :)
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Although in my area of Sweden wasn't much but programmers that had meetups http://www.meetup.com/
(11 Apr '11, 10:26)
ursixx
Perhaps you could start one :)
(11 Apr '11, 10:49)
Roy
Thank you. I spent some time looking at meetup.com but there are no active groups for me. I guess I could start one, like Rob suggests, but how do you get people to join?
(11 Apr '11, 13:14)
Fairy Princess
Just go to the meetup link above and click on start a meetup. You will be surprised at the response you receive in a short period of time. Have fun :)
(11 Apr '11, 14:43)
Roy
Thanks Roy. Not much for my area.
(21 Dec '11, 19:50)
Fairy Princess
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Hi, FPrincess! I hope I can help you! I have had many friends over the years...They seem to be in my life for a time, and then we move on..to different people, different relationships, and even different places. Since I have moved to Mississippi, I have not made any close friends here! (I have developed a very terrific relationship, but I will explain that in a bit.) It seems that if one does not belong to a church here, one does not make friends easily...I guess that being a "Northerner" has put people off from me; I can really understand your frustration. I met my best friend in the whole wide world through our mutual interest in Reiki (a healing method). We started emailing each other back in 2004. He and I exchanged information and news...then, he started talking about this great website called Inward Quest...I finally looked into it, and fell in love with IQ immediately. This interest led to more emailing, then finally to phone calls...and eventually, daily phone calls. We began using Skype about five months ago. I am happy to say that I finally flew to meet him recently, and the rest is all great! I am going back in nine days. He is, in my opinion, the most wonderful man in the world! I am very fortunate...:) I guess the moral of the story is that making friends is hard, but having mutual interests really helps. I would recommend using these interests and letting them lead you to getting to know people. You just never know where it will lead! I have attended 12 churches here in Mississippi, and none of them "clicked" with me. I really dislike the place that women seem to have here in the South. But I am going to keep at it, but I have decided to relocate back to the North. I just do not fit in here. I have a lot of young friends; I met them through my daughter, and now they drop by and visit me! It's great. The age difference does not seem to matter at all. I just spent an evening with Ali; we watched a movie, and talked until the wee hours of the morning. I guess the best advice I can give you is to smile, chat people up, and be a friend to those you meet. Use your interests, and be bold! Quite honestly, I'd love to get to know you. I've always enjoyed your posts here on IQ..so there! You have one friend invite already! Check out my profile for my email if you are interested. (That goes for all of you out there! LOL! I love meeting new people.) I hope this helps. P.S. If you have been reading all my posts here on IQ, you will be able to guess who my best friend in the world is, and will forever be! Blessings and Great Love, your friend, Jaianniah :)
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Thank you Jai, I would like to make a local friend in person, but also welcome internet friends. Thank you for your encouraging words. And yes, I know who your friend is. :)
(11 Apr '11, 13:21)
Fairy Princess
Sorry- it is done...I will not do that again, dear!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
(21 Dec '11, 16:40)
Jaianniah
Thank you! Blessings! :)
(21 Dec '11, 19:48)
Fairy Princess
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hell i guess i was lucky enough to find my best friend and wife (both soul-mates in a different way) close to my home as a child. I now understand that the "perfect" friend or mate will always be in a place that you have access to because if you agree to live an existence with them then they are intentionally in a easy to get to place, i have also learned it is NOT the quantity of friends but the quality of them. In my drug using times i had many people who I " thought" were my friends but seen that they were using me, this is just my opinion/ love n light, rob
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well i do not have close friend either because i am who i am. i am quiet i do not judge and i know people judge. so people are scared of me or judge me as being stupid etc. their problem not mine. i used to have friend and they made their choice to talk against me or to judge me. i know lots of people now but i do not have close friend. maybe i will find some one day if not i will not cry. i do not regret annything and i have done more then my part to help people around me. if i leave this world no one will miss me and i will miss no one.
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well thank you Us
(10 Jul '11, 06:50)
white tiger
Awe, I think you rock @white tiger lov ya!
(06 Oct '13, 04:31)
ele
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Funny thing is, when you stop "looking" and "trying" to make friends, then people gravitate towards you. It happens to me without fail. Ive made most of mine thru work, but a few from all over the place. This is going to sound like a broken record, I say it on most of my answers but its there....DETACHMENT. Ive received loads of lovers and friends in my life, I would like to say that this is because I practised Focus Blocks,EFT release methods etc etc. I would "like" to say that. But its not true! Ive actually taken the long arduous route to detachment by getting so ###### off about not getting something that ive "lost interest" in it, given up......and then bang...its arrived in my life. I worked for a company a while ago, was in a bit of a weird place within myself and frankly couldn't be arsed with making any friends, I had other stuff on my mind and didn't go there to socialise. Result, more friends than ive ever made anywhere . It seems that where theres "effort" there always seems to be resistance. I seem to let go of my effort more accidentally than by design. |
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If you like yourself you will like other people if you like other people other people will like you. As far as where to meet other people just do what you enjoy doing and there will someone there enjoying the same thing, then say "Hi" and enjoy it together!!!!
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I can't meet people sitting in my house. If I knew where to go, I would go there.
(10 Apr '11, 18:23)
Fairy Princess
What do you enjoy doing??
(10 Apr '11, 18:34)
craig2
Lots of things and I am open to trying new things, but not new religions.
(11 Apr '11, 13:34)
Fairy Princess
And I don't drink and bars are out of the question.
(12 Apr '11, 01:06)
Fairy Princess
Go do , go get involved, go have fun and you will be fine. To be apart of something it must exist and the bigger it is the easier it is to be a part of, Like a life for instance. expand your being. Take a class, join a club, go blowling , turn off your computer and go for a jog, ride a bike , go for a hike, be happy most of all be happy and you will find yourself in pool of people that want what you got then you can share it, becuse you got it to share! A LIFE
(13 Apr '11, 03:37)
craig2
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If you focus on what you lack then you will continue to lack. If you put your attention on appreciation, love and fulfillment then you will vibrate at a higher level. Then naturally like vibrations will be attracted to you. Things just happen..is the only way I can put. Seek not what you want outward but inward. There all things are brought to you.
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Are people going to be brought to my home? I go to work and home and shopping. I don't know where to go to meet people outside of these places. If I did, I would go there instead of asking. Thanks. :)
(10 Apr '11, 18:24)
Fairy Princess
Soon your appreciation will turn to exploration and you will discover new places and people without trying. Remember there is no certainty there is only adventure.
(10 Apr '11, 19:52)
you
I don't focus on not having close friends. I do notice once in awhile and think, hm where do I get one? I am pretty happy. One hindrance of always being happy is not having goals to attain.
(12 Apr '11, 01:08)
Fairy Princess
ooh on that I agree :)
(12 Apr '11, 02:14)
you
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It is said that most of your friends you make in your childhood. I left my home land and settled in another country 16 years ago leaving behind my friends. And replacing them has not been an easy task. I have my wife and kids I have made some good acquaintances though them and their activities, my wife had made a friend that she shares a lot with.(hours on the phone).
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We moved too and since I have lived here I have had a hard time making friends. I am s single mom, so not even a spouse friend. I have aquainances, but I want close friendships. At least one.
(11 Apr '11, 13:16)
Fairy Princess
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I have met most of my friends, and even my husband, through my job. Because I used to work as a contractor, I would be at each site perhaps 6 months to a year. I would quickly find like-minded and nice people to befriend and do things with, each place I was at. I was really blessed. I wish you well in your search for more friends, and because you are seeking this, and with an open mind to different ideas, I am sure you will be successful. Best wishes.....
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The people I work with are nice. I just started there.
(12 Apr '11, 00:56)
Fairy Princess
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We need to always forgive and forget to keep friends, the problem that most face is they get hurt or fight and this leads to resentment. This resentment leads to separation, because we do not want to face what we resent. I while ago I had to come down on Jai for being too negative, she was very negative everything wrong everyday another problem, I had myself to the point where when she talked I had to keep my mind in positive she accused me of not listening, I reverberated back to her every negative thing she had said for the week. She was stunned and hurt but needed this to grow, she could have said, "This hurts me, why did you do that, why did you say that?" Instead she realized I only saw the bad things in her life and nothing good, in other words she was dumping her problems on me constantly but not telling me anything positive. She thanked me and said "that was a kick in the butt that I needed." She turned her life around at that point and decided to look behind the clouds for the sun, it is always there even in the stormiest of weather. Friendship to last has to always look for the sun behind the clouds, it is always there, in other words the love has to always shine through even if there are fights or arguments, disagreements let the love heal because no matter the storm you may go through always remember that storm passes. If you look out and it is raining right now, you do not let that stop you for enjoying the sun the next day, remember to forgive and forget and yes you could even better yourself from a trial and be thankful for it. I realize this is a different answer than "Where did you meet your closest friends?" However I feel if you do not know how to keep good friends it matters not where you meet because they can never last long enough to be closest friends.
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I haven't had a problem keeping good friends, it is making them that is difficult. I haven't found them to keep. It is very cliquish here, even for grown ups.
(12 Apr '11, 02:40)
Fairy Princess
This is the interesting thing about clicks with people, people gravitate to what they like, so this becomes clicks. Me I get along with everyone, I try to always see the positive in everyone. Like it or not Inward Quest could be considered cliquish we know each other here and when someone says "I don't like Inward Quest" we might feel offended. But everyone has a viewpoint that does not need match.
(12 Apr '11, 03:01)
Wade Casaldi
I think to meet people to be good friends you need find places that hold your interest and there you will meet those most in tune to your thought, like here, I consider you one of my IQ friends here. Many good people here but this is not a meeting place of course so it is more difficult to meet new friends here.
(12 Apr '11, 03:05)
Wade Casaldi
Jai and I met years ago in a Reiki forum and this turned into years that has blossomed farther yet still.
(12 Apr '11, 03:06)
Wade Casaldi
Thank you, Wade. I am glad for all of my IQ friends. I do enjoy the discussions here. I have not found anywhere in my local world that I can meet people that are like minded. I know you all don't know what is here, so knowing what places you all go to would help me. At this point all I can think of is groups that I can create. My first obstacle has been, where to hold it. A couple years ago, I talked to an aqcuaintance who said they would be a part of it. I never got any further. I am thinking of some new ideas though. I learn by talking and so for me, asking the question is the answer.
(12 Apr '11, 16:37)
Fairy Princess
That is hard, my one friend I have I have known him since kindergarten. My other close friend I have known years from meeting her in Aikido as a matter of fact I am a teacher in her karate school even though we are different styles. I also have my own karate school where I have made friends but they came and went. Not that I consider them less friends just less seen and known.
(12 Apr '11, 19:45)
Wade Casaldi
Jesus woke up and spoke to the wind and waves, “Peace, be still.” And then there was a great calm. Jesus spoke the Word (Psalm 107:28-30) and the storm had to calm down immediately.
(10 Jul '11, 03:40)
white tiger
Very true White Tiger if we bring Jesus into our troubles he makes them go. :-)
(11 Jul '11, 05:49)
Wade Casaldi
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I learn by talking and asking questions. Most questions I ask, I come up with an answer for. However, until I ask it, I cannot come up with answers. So by asking this question, I open the door to receive the answers from others, or even myself. So, I have come up with some ideas that would not be the litteral answer to this question, but the answer to my perceived problem. I can talk to the school and see if one of the departments wants to have a fundraiser. They can host a family night once a month for the kids in the school and their families. There could be games, age appropriate for the school. Like in middle school, they can have board games and maybe some basketball if there is a place for both. This would be a way to get families to spend time together and also to meet the other families in the community. If they charge a couple bucks, the funds could pay for the lights and people could donate more if they want. Other ideas are floating around too.
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I think that friendships are very pertinent to our mind power. They can make or break it.
have you ever tried a spiritualism/spiritualist church? if you are interested i have a list of them across america and i can send you the closest one to you, i love those and have gottewn to understand that IN MY EXPERIANCE that they are the most open minded, freethinking , spiritual and happy church groups, i have been to twoo and never would go to another kind, ever!
I will check into that, thanks.
I looked it up and I am not looking for a new religion. I am looking for friends. Thanks though.