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I've been wanting a third child for many years. I have two children and we wanted to adopt the third. I never managed to manifest a child through adoption. I struggled so much with this, because the wanting was so strong and it felt like there was a soul missing in our family. My youngest, very intuitive, son felt the same way. Then I wanted to become a foster family, but my husband said no, so for several years I tried to let go of my desire. But it just kept getting stronger and increasingly felt like my life purpose. I wasn't sure wether the child didn't come because of my resistance (focus on the wrong end of the stick) or wether my desire was wrong - that a to adopt/foster a child wasn't meant to be/wasn't really a life purpose. Half a year ago I read an ad about a child in need of a family - and it felt right. At first my husband said no. I felt a deep sadness and cried through the night. The next morning I called the social service and let them know my husband said no. I felt a surprising feeling of letting go - I don't think I've ever managed to let go before. I had the day off work, and found total peace and a qiet feeling of hapiness, and then the sosial service called back - she said: «We always respect a «no» and we never call back like this, but the people working with this child are convinced you're The right match for her - can you please ask your husband to reconsider?» To make a long story short - she lives with us now. I was so scared through the prosess of finalising becoming a foster family (would my husband back out, would my children say no, would we pass the medical check up?) that I never dared to feel hapiness in case my desire wouldn't manifest this time either when I was SO close. When she moved in I was axhausted by anxiety - and I couldn't feel that she was my child. The Soul I had been longing for for so many years. She has a personality that doesn't feel familiar to me. I take comfort in the fact that I couldn't bond properly with my eldest son until he was 4 months either (He cried a lot, a had a bout of depression) - but then it was amazing. Now I am bothered by thoughts of having attracted the «wrong child». I always took for granted that If I ever nanaged to allow the third child, it would be the soul I have been longung for. I never imagined I could attract the wrong child. Also, she must have attracted us too. The thought of it being «wrong» feels horrible, and I hope it is my anxiety speaking. She has become attached to us already, she trives, I can see so many good qualities in her and I am ashamed of not bonding instantly. I am in alignement a lot of the time I'm with her and the social worker is amazed at how quickly she has settled in and how calm and happy she is. My struggles with this situation at a spiritual level - are we meant to be, is she the soul I have been missing, is getting the better of me. I hesitate to post this, but I would really appreciate your thoughts and input.
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I contemplated your question for quite some time before deciding to offer my thoughts.
I hope I may have been of some help. I can understand perfectly the way you feel and that's why I decided to answer. I wish you all the best. Thank you so much for answeing me. I realise I have just assumed that children always end up with the right parents, the ones they are meant for, since we choose out parents before birth (or at least that's how I understand it is), so the feeling/thought of me having attracted the «wrong» child tok me by surprise and shook me at the core of my very being. I suppose I really just want to be assured that attracting the wrong child/soul is not not possible.
(30 Apr '18, 14:56)
Pebbles
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You may be experiencing a kind of postpartum depression (the foster or adoptive parent's version), which I am sure you know is common, and in general we often feel a letdown when we finally reach a goal or manifest a desired outcome. I think you can assume it was meant to be, from the simple fact that you ARE together. I would pray over this situation, it could be as simple as affirming that you love her and she loves you. You can affirm this even as you are still experiencing some doubts. Thank you for giving this girl a stable and loving home, and making a wonderful difference in her life. My mother was a foster child, and I think would have had a hard life without her foster parent's presence and influence. We called her Auntie and she was a blessing to us all. |
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hi, first i'd say that the univers does not make mistakes. about your questions :"are we meant to be, is she the soul I have been missing" - well, i dont think it should concern you, it really doesn't matter. this thoughts has no answer because they are a presentation of your feelings of lack ("missing") that this kid could never fill. it is your job to do it. you need to fill that void within yourself, and you know what? maybe you already did cause the manifestation occurred. so you see? you shouldn't be bothering yourself with old habbit of thoghts. but!! there is another option: maybe you didnt fill that void yet and the child came to show you just that :) . i mean maybe the child is holding a vibration of neglect and/or abandonment or unworthiness (you should know her), and you are a match to her in the sense that you vibrate in her vibration. meaning - you feel the same way as her due to past experiences - you are not worthy of her, therefor you attracted the wrong thing (it is subconscious). so maybe you are teachers to one another.(but these are just assumptions, you should know the child and yourself better). so the solution in both options is to stay in your natural vibration as a worthy, loving, compassionate person. and less thoughts like "wrong child" - that she already has in her vibration and naturaly manifasting. you see, the child's vibration is naturally creating the "you are a wrong child" sayings or thoughts from people in her life. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. AND IT IS ALSO NOT THE CHILD'S FAULT THAT YOU THINK THAT!! but being conscious about it is giving you the power to change that and train your mind to think differently. goodluck and much love |
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I would like to delete this question, but I don't seem to be able to. I would appreciate some hjelp. :)
@Pebbles, you cannot delete a question once it has answers attached because it would delete other people's answers also. Please read the FAQ: http://www.inwardquest.com/faq/
@Pebbles You could replace the text content with gibberish. The moderator would have to be a little patient, but if you really want your question gone, that would be the way to do it.