"I did what I could to just surrender to these feelings. I was out of other ideas, basically." "So I think I sort of stopped resisting my resistance, and really admitted what was there. There was a kind of relief in that."

This is start of the Letting Go process. You realised that you can't 'try' your way out of bad feelings or happy-face-sticker over your true (negative) feelings on the subjects that matter to you.

When you first Let Go or release, and relax into letting the Universe just have its way with you, all sorts of deep-buried feelings can come up. They are coming up to be released for good. Not, as previously, where you were "trying" to "fix" them. But, instead of clearing them and rising up the emotional scale, you were sort of numbing yourself to the reality of your actual (emotional) vibration.

@Stingray mentions this in a post using an example about a fire raging and a fire alarm going off and you just put in ear plugs. Your 'trying' with LOA was just putting in the ear plugs, and the fire and fire alarm (your feelings of powerlessness) were still raging. I will see if I can find that post and edit it in to this answer later for you

EDIT

If you find yourself dissociating from the pain, just be aware that even though you may not be allowing yourself to feel it, it will still be responsible for attracting and manifesting in your life. It's like hearing a fire alarm going off in the building you are in and putting in ear plugs to block the noise. Just because you're not allowing yourself to hear the alarm, it doesn't mean that the building is not burning down around you :) If you really want to change for good, you've got to let the "blockage" surface for a short time so it can be cleared out. The relief of finally letting it go will be well worth the small period of discomfort.

Quote from: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/15009/manifesting-experiment-4-the-resistance-release-method-get-what-you-want-by-clearing-whats-in-the-way-part-2-of-2

I would also read the post on here called the 30 Day Vortex Challenge. There are lots of insights there that will help you to keep relaxing into this process. (Learning to feel better just for the emotional relief.)

The 30-Day Vortex Challenge: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/93202/the-30-day-vortex-challenge

Once you stop efforting and start allowing, EVERYTHING gets better. This is the start of a new change in vibration and, therefore, a change in physical circumstances - eventually.

Just let the Universe have its way with you. Just keep thinking, "I trust, I trust, I trust". Say to yourself: The Universe and my Inner Being will guide me through this contrast as long as I relax and surrender.

Sounds like you are doing a great job unraveling beliefs. There is no fixed order- it's different for anyone. Any change is good. Unravel that layer too the same way you did the last. You'll get there. Unravel the vague belief that your progress is not progress first.

The optimism was not fake, you're just not used to it. Keep going with it. That idea is just another negative belief. Keep imagining things you like, and observing what you believe.

I sympathize with you on many levels.

Recently, I had a period where nothing was really working out anymore and I was desperate, because I thought, "I am supposed to be better at reality creation, now that I know all the things that I know! What am I doing wrong? I suck at this!". So I really feel with you.

What I have learned during this time was two things: I have asked for a lot of things in a very strong and precise way - but I was not letting it in by ignoring my emotional guidance system aka my emotions. I was pushing the universe, constantly asking for improvement, complaining and being impatient without realizing that I am not allowing my desires to flow and so, of course, there were nowhere to be seen!

I didn't even realize the huge amount of negative emotions because I just assumed, I know enough about reality creation and things just need to work out - even if I contradicted myself all the time.

Thereore what happenend was that I was being pulled into two opposite directions - my desire and my resistance/contradiction - and it almost pulled me apart.

The stronger your desires are, the more important is the allowing part, the more important is the the alignment with your inner being - otherwise you suffer a lot and life gets really painful and totally unpleasant.

So anything that gives you relief is you going into the right direction. I would start with accepting and forgiving yourself first. Say to yourself: "I am doing fine, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. There are no mistakes, just endless opportunities for me to better define what I want in life and I am doing just this. I am now improving my manifesting skills in this period and when I am going to look back, I will realize how this has helped my on my path. It's definitely going to be alright. I am safe. I am good enough and the universe has my back all the times. I am now realising that all things will always work out for me."

Your negative emotions are not wrong or bad, you didn't fail. The negative feeling is just a message of your inner being saying it disagrees with your beliefs about you and your life. Your depression, fear or sadness is your bigger part telling your smaller part:

• I disagree with your expectation that doom is coming - all I am seeing is the glorious future that is available to you right now
• I disagreee with the statement that you are a failure and will never get anything you want - all I am seeing is the clear path to all your desires and the sureness of your dreams coming true
• I disagree with your belief that you are going backwards - all I see is the enormous potential and beauty of this current situation

"Always remember deep in your heart that all is well and everything is unfolding as it should. There are no mistakes anywhere, at anytime. What appears to be wrong is your own false imagination. Perfection knows nothing about wrong or right, good and bad, happy and sad. It knows only itself as Perfection. And you are That." Robert Adams

All that happening is that you are focussing on things you don't want. Yes, it really is that simple, but I am learning it again as well. Seems for some it might take some time and a lot of repeating :)

I am going through exactly the same thing at the moment. I was working through my resistance and thinking that I was doing really well. I moved from depression to a massive anger release. Then super frustrated. Then sort of numb, but feeling OK. And then I crashed. And I realised that the problem was that I was releasing resistance from a space of lying to myself. I dissociated massively as a child and I still don't have any memories, but I started seeing a few glimpses and realised that the resistance I was working on was just the top layer of 'story' I had created to hide the truth from myself.

I still don't know how to fully engage with my subconscious and I don't know if I ever will, but now at least I am engaging with what is really there, not the story I made up. When this happened, all hell started breaking loose in my life. My job is awful, my body hurts, I am emotional - one minute angry and then depressed and then suddenly massively anxious. Like you, I sometimes feel like I am going backwards and I am really angry that I worked so hard to release and now have to do it again, but I guess it is all layers and it is not going backward and it is what we can face at that time. And we do get stronger through the process.

I don't yet know all the answers, or even any of them, to be honest. But I wanted you to know that you are not alone on this journey and that I don't believe you are going backwards. You are getting real. Let the anxiousness in and sit with it. Fully feel it (advice to myself as much as to you). I am also finding that Internal Family Systems offers very interesting ways of working with your inner world, so that might be worth looking at.

Mostly, love and strength to you!

"I've been studying reality creation for about 10 years. I've had many ups and downs. Over the past year or so, it has become clear to me that I have actually spent most of my life vibrating in a very low frequency, around powerlessness. What I mostly did with my LOA work was, I now see, fake feeling better, fake empowerment, fake optimism. Underneath, I don't think I really understood (and still don't, really) how to make myself feel authentically better."

the short answer is - it is really ok. relax.

longer answer:

sadness and deppresion are about the same frequency levels. but what you're describing (by the thoughts you wrote) you are not deppresed. you are the one to tell, but i think you are more pessimistic (accepting reality but in a negative way), which is going up the emotional scale.

the same thing has happened to me over and over again. until i went out of this cycle (after years too. when most people are being introduced for the first time to the LOA this is what they do - ignore themselves and think positivly only. and a huge gap between what they want and what they get is being created. so there are ups and downs. until you learn to get to know who you are for real and not ignore it - nogative and positive (not positive only) , maintain positive anergy (not forcing it, but going up the emotional scale by your rhythm, being conscious and forgive your self, not blaming).

"how to make myself feel authentically better" - by your experiences. dont force yourself to get there. but learn every day what you like and what you dont and live by it. it is a life procces. and even when you get there , somthing new will surprise you. so just relax. my biggest leson was to relax. and in any situation i can relax even more.

Hi corduroypower,

I've also been there, what helps me is not to take my mind that serious unless I am above hopeful on the emotional scale. Abraham Hicks mentioned that Ester sometime says to her "Shut up Ester".

You could just notice your thought and if they are not hopeful just acknowledge that it can't be of any benefit to think about that now because you don't have access to the solution, just say I will think about that later. (I actually saw this long time ago in the movie "Gone with the Wind " and was appealing to me... Scarlet was always saying that)

What helps me most in this situation is to try to be aware of what's going on inside me and ask myself very often, where do I feel that in my body. The bad emotions sometimes feel bad in my solar plexus area and sometimes in my chest. I try to acknowledge the physical sensation.

If I acknowledge them, the bad feelings subside because I become conscious of it.

This works very well for me to get out of a bad feeling place.

This will pass for sure, your inner being is also trying to inspire you to a better feeling place, just notice the good feeling thoughts you get from time to time :)