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It has come to my attention that I have failed the dementia test more than once. I am 33 years now. I recall failing the same test 7 years ago, but I didn't know what it was for. I am trying to look at memory loss positively. For example, it allows me to be more adaptable by changing my belief system at a faster rate. (Due to forgetting the limitations of the past.) My memory seems to work well enough for me to live day to day. How am I to look at my early onset dementia as a positive thing and not a limitation? I often cycle back to the same topics as if I have never addressed them before. Before I knew I had memory loss problems, I would just wonder at it. I can also shift personality rather quickly and while others might find me inconsistent I often flip flop personality based on what I am reading at the time. At times I embody the go getter with great confidence and at other times the artist who expresses emotions well. I am not set in my ways. My personality expands and shifts based on the current environment around me. These are the positives I am trying to think of. How am I to approach life now that I have realized the extent of my memory issues?
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If you have a history of significant head trauma, I can understand why you would have "early onset dementia".... but frankly, your question has me very worried for you. It isn't okay that you "forget". It isn't okay that you "flip- flop personality". Because I was seriously abused as a child, I coped with my trauma and abuse by "shifting" into different places in my mind. Basically, I pretended that this abuse happened to some other little girl- a new friend who unfortunately, lived inside my own skin. If you are having "blank spots" in your days, and are not drinking, drugging, or suffering from head trauma, then I strongly urge you to seek the aid of a mental health professional who perhaps can get to the bottom of your personality shifts and loss of your memories. For me, my system functioned very well until I hit my early thirties. But with my own children growing up before my eyes, and my secret, desperate worry that they would get hurt as I had been hurt, my inner defenses began to collapse. I began to notice that there were gaps in my memory. I began to notice that certain stressful situations made me so anxious that I would behave badly. In short, "pretending" that all that abuse happened to some other little girl didn't work anymore. From WebMD: Dissociative disorders are mental disorders that involve experiencing a disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions and identity. People with dissociative disorders escape reality in ways that are involuntary and unhealthy and cause problems with functioning in everyday life. Dissociative disorders usually develop as a reaction to trauma and help keep difficult memories at bay. Symptoms -- ranging from amnesia to alternate identities -- depend in part on the type of dissociative disorder you have. Times of stress can temporarily worsen symptoms, making them more obvious. Treatment for dissociative disorders may include talk therapy (psychotherapy) and medication. Although treating dissociative disorders can be difficult, many people learn new ways of coping and lead healthy, productive lives. This is a hugely simplistic description of what I am trying to say.... In short, what you have described is really not at all okay, not at age thirty-three. I really care, and hope that this answer helps. I feel a bit frightened in answering as I did, but I felt that speaking up was better than just staying silent when you are perhaps silently suffering..... If you would like to talk with me privately about this, you can email me, using the name I use here, at Yahoo. If I am radically off base, forgive me. I apologize if I am wrong. But what you describe is a sort of mental state that cannot be at all comfortable. I commend you for your positive, cheery spin on your "bad memory". But it is absolutely not normal, and I am concerned for you. ♡♡♡♡♡♡ Jaianniah |
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Check out post traumatic growth.
Your memory loss may be due to depression, anxiety, trauma and/or non stop thinking.
After reading some of your other Q & A including your recent question on lying and the convo under @Dagny answer I wonder if you tried any of the self help measures to increase memory such as doing memory games daily? I'll leave some links. Why don't you give yourself a break for 30 days and try doing something dif. Stop reading the type of books you've been reading. So many dif genres to choose from. You're an artist. Do you like poetry? Try humorous fiction or maybe read the comics.
Perhaps a classic or even a children's book. Short stories ? I curled up with Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories last night:) Go for a walk. Spend more time outdoors.
http://www.exploratorium.edu/memory/dont_forget/index.html
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/how-to-improve-your-memory.htm
http://mentalfloss.com/article/64418/11-unforgettable-games-improve-your-memory
https://www.lumosity.com/
Or Google, how to increase memory or brain games to improve memory