I must share also beacause i feel eager to and also beacause i want it to be documented to see if im commited inough.

I just had a memory of my past while listening to someone who rendomaly mentioned the "book of positive aspects" by Abraham Hicks". im not sure if it was a download, but it doesn't matter, i feel filled with tonsss of energy like i wasn't in a lot of time. Lately i made a decision to stop listening to any channelers (and going to keep doing that) and listening to my guidence only. But i guess they come to me through the back door. That wasn't the first time, its just that other times i blocked it purposefully when felt it coming, but this time i allowed.

So when i heard the term "book of positive aspects" i suddenly remembered i made myself one and it helped a littel... but then also remember myself 20 years ago, before i "changed" before i got hurt - i was that! i was that book of positive aspect!! i remembered who i was! i didnt need that book back than, because i naturally appreciated everyone and saw them as an amazing being no matter what. i was much more lighter, much less vulnerable (even though i was sensetive) i was loving freely. No matter what people said to me - i was laughing!! or ignoring or forgeting about it really quickly. not so much today...(its going to change starting now). I was in the vortex. I was the vortex. And i see the problem i had all along now so clearly :) i got hurt so badly and let it influence me so deeply that my vibration has compeletly chanched. and it was so subconscious that even when i was feeling good the "problem" was still there. And whenever i looked at people since then i saw the best in them but there was alway a part of me that had to protect myself from getting hurt again, so i had to built another plan b story about them, about how mean they are, or manipulative or something else. Or sometimes i became that "mean" person for the sake of protection that today, reaching my authenticity i know i dont need. So you can see how it took me time to made decisions about some people or how i got into conflicts with some of them- my thinking about them was split WITHOUT KNOWING IT THINKNG I KNOW (i am obviosly not speaking about people who i had only respect for them or strangers).

i also know that everybody has it own reasons for meating channalers like AH, Bashar, Alen.. and one of mine was to protect my self. to know how things works so i will not get hurt, so that if i will act correctly than i'll be able to control the situation or change it to my benefit. Im sure there are many benefits for this interactions but obviously it was a perfect match. it took me time to get to these realizations.

So now, after the amazing experience of today, im going to make my self a new book of positive aspects starting today. i know for sure i'll see changes in my life fast because i know who i am, i saw in my mind and remembered. im not going to go with the 30 days method because i dont believe in time. as far as i'm concerned it could take a day, a week a month a year or 10 years. i dont know. but the feeling is like its already heppened. im really sure about it.

last words: It doesn't matter how many videos or books you watch and read. If you dont know - you just dont. But if you know - you know!

MUCH LIGHT ALL OF YOU! (Thank you ABE for coming today even though you know i don't trust you. And even though you know im not going to listen to you in the near future. I really appreciate that).