My narcissist roomie, I'll call him B, has been disruptive both with me and the neighbors, and now one of them, I'll call him D, is pushing me to send B a letter giving him a deadline to move out. (I'm the master tenant.) Here is D's description of his hassles with B. The shaking he mentions is B's sex with his gf. It literally shakes the building. " When we initially moved in, B parked across our driveway. We almost got his car towed before we figured out who it was and communicated to B that we were in a hurry (we were scheduled to pick someone up) so could he please move his car. We saw him saunter casually down the street towards us. He did not apologize. No more than a week later he parked in across our drive way again. When the shaking and noises initially began, we sent a little note to B (I have a photo if you would like to see it) kindly asking him to cease making noise during quiet hours. We also discussed it with him in person on numerous occasions in a kind and constructive fashion. B lied to my face on multiple occasions. After this, I contacted landlord by certified mail and notified him of the issue we were having, and sent a log of all of the times we had been disturbed (I also have this if you would like to see it). I even texted landlord when we were disturbed so that he could witness it in person, at Peter's own request. It was after this that B approached me and with some aggression tried to get me to stop complaining. He also had the nerve to complain about me banging on the wall when I was being disturbed by his nighttime activities. Since then he has not talked to me, not even to say hello, or in response to me saying hello." I certainly understand why D wants me to give B deadline to move out, however my concern is that it would only spur B to further resistance and troublemaking. What I have learned dealing with him, is that it is almost his policy to resist any requests for change, and that in fact they only enrage him. Case in point, the other night I asked B nicely that his gf's visits be confined to the weekends--Friday through Sunday, which is still almost half the week. True to form, he got mad and went off on me. Tonight, Wed., his gf is with him and the shaking has been bad, again disturbing me and neighbors. So I don't know if it would do any good to give him a deadline to move. I think he would prefer to fight eviction in court. But it is hard to explain this stuff to people, most of whom have only superficial understanding of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). B has said he wants to get an apartment with his gf and her young daughter, and I'm hoping that will happen. But I doubt that giving him a deadline to move would speed that along. It would likely make him dig his stubborn, immature heels in all the more. Under the law here, I am the one who would need to evict him as I am the master tenant. Roommate is not on the lease but we have a sublease agreement. So that is the current situation. Since the usual approaches for resolving issues between roommates/neighbors are not working, I'd appreciate insight and advice on resolving with more esoteric approaches like ycyor, LOA etc. asked 21 Nov '19, 03:06 Delphine |
Hello Delphine. I understand what you are going through as we in general have to deal with people like B throughout our lives every now and then. One technique I use dealing with negative people or negative situations is the Sacred Violet Flame. For example a few weeks ago my neighbors who live below me starting fighting once again and it was getting a little heated to the point where my friend who was visiting me wanted to intervene or call 911. I told him not to worry as I had this. I simply focused while visualizing and surrounding the whole house inside and out in this beautiful Sacred Violet Flame and within seconds the argument downstairs stopped and they made up. They are young and learning how to live with each other and sometimes life's little things can cause distress within people's lives and it wasn't worth calling the authorities on them. Now I have been using the Sacred Flame for a few years now so it has become second nature for me to use it. To invoke this Sacred Flame is very easy. At first I would suggest to surround yourself with White Light with or without the help of your Spiritual Guides it's entirely up to you. Then I would invoke the Violet Flame from the Purity of the White Light and totally surround yourself inside and out like You were sitting in a Violet Flame bonfire for example. Now some websites like to use invocations for those who are beginning like for example "I am a being of Violet Fire, I am the purity of God's desire" or in this case "This home is a place of Violet Fire, a place of Love, Respect and Understanding, (or whatever you want to use) It is the purity of God's desire". You can use any invocation that suits you individually for the cause at hand but be sure your intentions are Pure and Loving. Invocations can be helpful at the beginning to build your confidence but it is unnecessary as you get used to invoking this Sacred Flame. Simply visualizing it with Pure Intent is all that is needed. It is a very simple but yet very effective technique to use. But be warned whatever you invoke for others you will also be affected as this Sacred Flame heals all and transmutes negative energies within all in the boundaries of your desired location. Do this for a few minutes everyday until you get confident and you will see the positive changes taking effect almost immediately. The stronger you become with this Sacred Flame the less time is needed when you invoke it. I use it on my whole city and other cities in need worldwide and I have witnessed miraculous positive effects from it's use. I hope this helps you and one thing to add ... the Violet Flames Energies are very subtle but yet very effective and powerful and you will see probably after your first attempt how B's attitude will suddenly change for the better without him even being aware what is going on as there is good in all of us. I guarantee this will resolve any problems with your neighbor and even love ones including yourself. There are numerous advantages to using this Sacred Flame by changing the color spectrum from Violet Pink to Violet Purple to help with Karma, emotional, psychological and physical healings but at first I would just stick to using the Violet color. Have fun with it as it will change your life in ways you have never expected. No harm can come to you or to others as it is one of the Purest Flames out of the many that are available. Peace, Love n Light answered 06 Mar '20, 20:48 Moonbeam |
Hello, Delphine. If you are aware of healing gemstones you might want to acquire some to help you out. Black tourmaline or black onyx is helpful against people like this. These protective gems protect you from negative vibes. I've heard black tourmaline actually sends back garbage to the sender... they'll get out of your space whether physically or at least emotionally or psychic level. Another good one is leopardskin jasper. It may restore some kind of harmony, or at least you won't be bothered so much by such folk around you. In your case it might bring outside help or person to deal with situation. Rose quartz may help restore peace or real respect. I suggest keeping such gems on your person and some in your personal living space as well. In a way, your power is given away every time there is reaction. So I agree with Moonbeam with the affirmations. answered 07 Mar '20, 15:19 ingridstjerne257 Thank you ingridstjerne and Moonbeam. Your suggestions are much appreciated. As it happens I did go ahead with eviction and I think in this case it was the right thing to do. Not that it was easy evicting a roommate living in close quarters. Let's just say things got very tense. Koi in living room tank passed mysteriously shortly before his sixty day notice was up. I couldn't accuse him of course. Let's just say I defintely can see him doing that.
(07 Mar '20, 16:33)
Delphine
Gray Rock was my healing gemstone :) It is an adopted stance of neutrality and non-reactiveness. I was using other approaches also, including affirmations. Ho'oponopono cleaning which is pretty much a way of life for me. I knew I just had to "get happy" and i aimed at that as much as I could. I will study the info about the Sacred Flame and the healing stones. I was actually keeping my rose quartz on me a lot, and I did attract help in dealing with this, that has been invaluable.
(07 Mar '20, 16:40)
Delphine
He was definitely a catalyst for me. Good practice in becoming non-reactive and imperturbable when dealing with these energies that really don't lend themselves to a true connection. And in letting go of codependency. You have to realize when someone is not amenable to your efforts to communicate and cooperate. Detach and move on. Life is too short :)
(07 Mar '20, 16:43)
Delphine
He and the situation also led to a lot of realizations and understandings about my dysfunctional family of origin. I believe my Dad had the same dynamic as my roommate. Dramarama day in, day out. Mom pretty much had Stockholm Syndrome although she recognized the problems. Well I am not going to tell you the story of my life, but a lot to explore there, therapy is helping. Now he has accused me and landlord of wrongful eviction so we have to deal with that. Mr. Catalyst! Fun, fun, fun.
(07 Mar '20, 16:57)
Delphine
Good to hear your reply. For future roommates you might want to try the "prepaving" technique from the law of attraction book Ask & it is Given.
(09 Mar '20, 11:56)
ingridstjerne257
Good idea ingridstjeme. I will be reviewing that technique. This looks good: https://thejoywithin.org/authors/abraham-hicks/prepaving-your-future-manifestations
(09 Mar '20, 20:14)
Delphine
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