This is an interesting subject to ponder about, the interesting thing is in our dreams we see an entire world, buildings, nature, the sky, other people, animals and everything we have in the physical. We interact with all of this just as we do awake and even talk with or fight with and at the time everything seems "real" we may also dream of much more abstract things as well but for intention of practical purposes I'll stay with the ordinary.

We wake up and forget what we were dreaming or think "oh I was sleeping" and never give it another thought, but this whole world existed in our minds everything was there, every person and animal was there. Who created that experience? We did of course even create the people we interacted with in that dream.

So it is a worthy postulation that indeed we could be creating everything we experience including each other, if this be so then we are not "we" at all but the dreams of God.

In my opinion the answer to your question is a big YES, I do believe without the shadow of a doubt that we do create All of our own reality/world/experience. I will work on the example you gave with regard to seeking a relationship. Both outcomes are driven by intent/thought .One is driven by thought, focus and guidance (Awareness/Spiritual) whilst the other is just driven by thought and action. Let me try to expand on this further:

Spiritual Awareness: when we make the conscious decision to wake up to our true potential and begin the journey of taking full responsibility of all that we create by thought and feeling.....Conscious or Unconscious, we then strive to become more selective in what we create in our world with the new knowledge that "we are creating" and more importantly we ask for help (consciously put out the request to the Universe/Source/God) for the best outcome for our Highest Good and the Good of all Concerned. Remember we operate in the energy of “Free Will” here on planet earth and therefore Source/God/Universe cannot interfere with our decisions/choices unless we ASK FOR HELP. I call this THE LAW OF LEAST EFFORT. (Oh I love that Law).

Now I need to go back a few steps here and explain that there are some things that I believe we planned in Spirit world prior to our birthing on earth, that we as humans refer to as “Destiny/Luck”. It is my belief that these occurrences, both pleasure /pain, were planned by us in order to experience the experience, sometimes even testing our Trust/Faith along the way.....and YES I have questioned my God/ Higher Self many times in the earlier stages of my awakening by asking, even sometimes screaming “if I am such a Divine and Wise Being, why would I choose to have some of these painful experience/challenges”. As always and without fail, the knowledge was revealed to me when the time was right and this has helped me expand and evolve along my path.

Prior to my Awakening , I just drifted along my path with the belief that if I wanted something (thinking the though) whether I was conscious of it or not, then I just had to take the action to make it happen .......which I did. For me this created a longer harder road to walk. I still got results but with a lot of hard work and effort on my part.

My life is a work in progress and one I now view with excitement rather than struggle.

I think about this too, Graham. I think our realities as physical beings are affected by other's thoughts and actions, mostly since my mind believes it to be so. Being half of a marriage partnership, I have contemplated at times how much of our shared current reality is the result of my past vision or his? We discuss goals and create a definite shared vision for our future together, but lots of other things are probably being manifested, even unintentionally. Maybe he worries about a particular thing without discussing it or I have certain intentions that I am quietly working on - these could both manifest something in our lives that affects the other's reality. I believe our thoughts are constantly creating and manifesting and our core beliefs are shaping our physical reality.... to what degree are we both contributing to this reality? Perhaps the person with the strongest mental focus in the relationship is best equipped to manifest things and therefore ends up being more successful at creating the physical reality we both experience? If he strongly believes that we will get rich and I strongly believe that we won't, who's belief will come "true"? If my reality is created only by me, and his reality is only the result of his own thinking, then why would either of us care what the other does? Luckily, when he lets me in to see his thoughts, they are always so good that I never worry about his wrong thinking affecting my physical reality :-)

As I can recall my grandfather died, when I was only nine years old, and the effects that it had on me at such a delicate age, still lingers on even to this day. None of it made sense to me at the time, and even now that I am older it is still a puzzle. I loved my grandfather dearly, and I wanted him around longer!

Give the fact that it is said we create our own reality, and this still remains very far-fetched, since we continue to be on the opposite side of what we truly want, and desire for our self in life. And when we have to deal with very serious matters in our life that is out of our control, this question does come to mind: who is really creating our reality? And if I am creating my reality, then, why am I in a place that I do not want to be in?

So my rational is: “are we really the ones creating our own reality?”

there is an order to the universe, our solar system, our planet earth and humankind.
i'd say we have some wiggle room in creating our reality,
and that there are more parameters to consider than what our senses register,
if we value credible truth

Yes, we create our reality. This has been proven in a lab environment in physics. They have now connected intent to matter to directly be able to alter the spin of an atom and it retains the intention. We are in a holographic universe held up by our senses. But it goes deeper.

God created all the reality in truth. you have the same potential and are on a learning curve. what can you create what can you do to better your self and help your brother and sister. so take the first step and keep on walking. experience and enjoy.