Living for others is considered the height and the point of existence for many lovely souls around the world. I do not think that they suffer low self-esteem from their lifestyle- rather the reverse. But we have to remember the Golden Rule here: Love others as you love yourself. Self-love comes before the giving, not after. We give because we love ourselves, and do these things for others because it makes us feel good to please God.

When we do for others to gain some sort of recognition, we start down another and different path. It is a lonely and painful path, and it leads to feelings of despair and martyrdom. Others are often quick to see that we will do anything for anyone, and we are taken advantage of very quickly. People love to get something for nothing.

I would think that you need to be careful when considering a life for others. Always be sure to ask yourself: Am I doing this because it makes me happy, or am I doing this because I am hoping to gain recognition and love from others?

Blessings and Love, Jaianniah

It depends. Service can uplift us, give us purpose, help us from being too self-focused, make the world a better place, help us learn and more. But a balance is hard to strike. One can give too much of themself and end up feeling like a doormat, or getting a martyr complex, or as you mentioned, damaging their own self worth. I think each person has to gauge that balance for themself.

In my case, it is different. I have noticed that helping others gives a boost to my ego.

If we always place others before us we place ourselves last. Being the least and constantly last would make most anyone feel like a failure, a loser and worthless. This is after all the world's way that the one whom crosses the finish line last is not noticed, as far as most are concerned if he didn't race it would not have made a difference. A person like this eventually loses identity and feels more like an appliance to be used by everyone as needed. He hasn't any time for himself except sleep and that can be compromised as well if someone needs him to. This leads to feeling worthless to oneself and priceless to everyone else.

Many suicides (or homicides) you hear people say, "I don't know what happened, he was the nicest guy! He would give you the shirt off of his own back!" They just couldn't take how they felt about themselves any more, they felt used and taken for granted, which of course they were. People like receiving things free, they feel good when someone gives them something so if one wants to always 'give' and 'do for' there are lots that like to 'receive' and 'have done for them.' In other words plenty that would take advantage of the giver, and so rightly the giver feels taken advantage of.

All of these feelings come from identifying with the body mind self, this self that needs to feel self-worth to exist. There is a way around this by knowing our worth to Christ that the more we help and give we are helping and giving to those God leads us to. This knowing our value in Christ returns to us our worth our sense of self-worth does not come from the world but from God. We need to see God loves and values us so much that he bought us back from Satan through his sacrifice as Jesus on the cross. We are valued far more than we can imagine and if God values us that much then to be a friend of God like Abraham in the Bible we enjoy doing for others because these are our brothers and sisters in the body of God. We know the first shall be last and the last shall be first in heaven and we will be wearing a gold crown for our deeds, but this is a benefit to the faithful and a goal but not the reason why we treat others well. When we treat others as they wish to be treated we give love, understanding, healing, forgiveness and compassion. That is all most want is consideration not to be put on a pedestal as constantly better than, this only harms them eventually. But to be equal friends with.

god works wounder and so can you! god way are impenetrable and so can you!