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Last question I asked brought me to a realization what I have been subconsciously longing for for the last several years. No matter how hard I tried to seal it away, it always came out one way or another. It was the need of being in a romantic relationship. But what was the true desire underlying it? As Stingray said:
It made me realize that by being in love, I reestablish the connection with my emotional self, which I abandoned many years ago to live in a world devoid of emotions, world of information and abstraction. I found out that what I love about myself when I am in love, is that I become very tender, warm, caring, protective and sensual. Caring about and being good to my lover become the top priorities. I can even sacrifice my happiness for my lover to be happy - that what is most important for me. I also lose this uneasiness when it comes to expressing my emotions. I want to express them so badly, but I feel so uneasy about doing it, that I choose to remain the way I am. But when in love, I feel like I suddenly get to know the language of emotions, and I can flow with their current. That made me think if there is another way of expressing love I can use. Is there a way to love people without getting into the "romance field"? People will always assume that you want to love them in a romantic sort of way. The problem is solved when you are a priest or a yogi. Also, is there a way of loving people without making them attached to yourself? I do not want to hurt anyone, because I know the griefs of unrequited love. Just tell me how do you express love in your life and forget about the earlier questions. :)
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I may be answering this in a way you really weren't asking, but here's my two cents worth anyway. I don't think we can intentionally express love... to try to do so renders it as a tool of our ego self. It is not an object that we can take and do something with. The truth is that we can only Be love...we are the vehicle that allows love to express itself through us. Love is the mom who sits with her sick child throughout the night; Love is the child who role reverses and is now the parent to their ailing parent; Love is the person who takes a moment to say a few words to that homeless person as opposed to just, self gratifyingly, throwing their spare change at them; Love is the one who has the wisdom to perceive the sinner and the saint as one and the same; Love is the one who gives anonymously with no want or need for recognition; Love is the one who can believe and have faith even when things seem darkest. And most importantly Love is the gift of presence you give to another, with no hidden agenda of your own, by fully being there and listening to what they want to communicate. Being your best self as much as possible in each and every moment is the greatest expression of love, and sooner or later the universe will reflect that back to you. |
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you express love when you are happy. You let others know that you are happy. You tell others why they make you happy. In a romantic relation, some of your conversations sound like a Hallmark Card. Just being happy and in the presence of the one you have the romantic relation with, is good enough for both of you. Engaging and interacting with others and being happy expresses love. |
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Hi Asklepois, believe me or not, but it seems that I am going through a similar phase. I am a kind of a person who always acted to be practical and would avoid any emotional talks. "Just stay away" was my attitude towards whosoever tried to come near me and love me / support me. You are correct, "...when in love, I feel like I suddenly get to know the language of emotions, and I can flow with their current." Now coming to your question - how you express love in your life? I like serving people with love in every little manner I can. This is my expression of love. In my daily activities/interactions with people, I try understanding the need and giving them what they actually want/need rather then what they are asking for (both of them are very different sometimes). After giving them what they want/need and seeing them happy (they never thank me specifically for what I have done), I have a feeling of great satisfaction. My favorite part is my community services. I am involved with an NGO where I contribute towards the welfare of a handful of families. This gives me the best satisfaction I have ever had. I exhaust myself in this work but I have a very different feeling of satisfaction. Most of the times, I have to take leave from office and make lot of adjustments at home for this - but I know it is worth much more than all that. |
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I'm going to ask a new question. "What is the definition of love?"
Haven't really given it much of a thought. I guess the definition is different for everyone. For me, love is truly caring about another person and making efforts to make that person overcome difficulties in his/her life and make him/her happy.