If you're cutting yourself or feeling suicidal then you need help and support, the source doesn't necessarily have to be that hospital but there does need to be one. (You can even receive help and support from anonymous sources you do not know, and the people around here appear to be a very good and positive choice if that is your desire.)

Some people can even "support" themselves through some positive activity they do that helps them relieve stress and feel happy.

The reason for feeling suicidal isn't relevant, nor is the 'severity' of the thought, and people who judge your reasons are ignorant. Everyone feels down, everyone has their own reasons, and everyone has different levels of difficulties in their lives. The issue is that we need to find methods of handling them that do not harm us or those around us.

It has never been a consolation to me when I'm having trouble and people tell me "Everyone feels suicidal, I felt suicidal recently because of [etc]", so I'll spare you the details.

Suffice it to say that there is a very strong chance that you know many people who battle with depression and masochistic urges, some not very much and some to an extreme that would scare even people who regularly cut themselves.

If you want to help your current situation then you need to start with yourself, inside you. Hospitals can help, friends can help, family can help, and even drugs can help. The problem with ALL of these is you can never rely on them more than you rely on yourself. These things should all be used as a 'crutch' that is there to help you learn how to walk again, not a 'wheel chair' to sit on permanently.

When it comes down to it if you don't want to feel the way you do any longer it must be a decision that you want for yourself, it can not be forced on you. It doesn't really matter why you make this decision, and other people can help you in making this decision, but it has to be your own decision.

Once you come to the decision that you want to change you must begin to correct the problems that cause you to feel the way you do. It is hard to expound on this topic because you did not specify what it is that makes you unhappy.

For some the cause is an outside influence, like a bully or bad family member. If it is a situation that can be rectified by seeking aid from an authoritive figure, that is one solution. If it is a situation that can be avoided entirely from the outset then that is another.

For others the cause is from an internal issue, such as a self-loathing regarding a detail about their mind / body / past condition / present condition. If this is an issue that can be rectified, then you will find that you will feel considerably better if you try to work on fixing the issue. If it is an issue that you cannot fix, then you must find a way to come to avoid it or come to terms with it.

If you'd like to discuss this issue in more detail here in public you're welcome to do so and I will try to offer my opinions in the most helpful way I can (and I'm sure the people here will do the same**). Alternatively, if you'd like to continue this discussion in private I can provide you with another medium for direct communication.

** : An important point: I do not want anyone reading my words to believe that they are meant to be a 'be-all-end-all' answer to anything, EVER.

Similarly, I encourage people to live by the philosophy that "We are all students", and so when you receive advice and support from others, even when that advice is based upon events that they have experienced or you have witnessed yourself, that does not mean that it will necessarily be the correct advice or support for you.

Whenever you read my words I strongly urge and would vastly prefer you do so under this pretense, and I would also encourage you to take the same standpoint in all facets of your life.

"Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own."

EDIT: Also an important point worth mentioning is that not all masochistic activities are expressed by self mutilation. Some people want to feel pain but do not have the 'courage' [for lack of a more fitting word] to do it themselves, so they will intentionally put themselves in harm's way so someone else can inflict pain on them. An example of this would be a wife who stays in an abusive relationship that has no indications of improving itself.

The reason I include this clarification is because people who hurt themselves like you describe will often escape one masochistic activity and substitute it for another. And so I warn, be very careful about this. Also, be very careful that you do not exchange your masochism for sadism, meaning you take your inwardly direction agressions and begin aiming it outward at others.

I do hope that you can find help, be it here from us or elsewhere. Just know that there is always help available for those who are willing to ask for it. We are here if you decide you want to seek further assistance from us, and I assure you that offer will not expire.

You must remember that when you die you leave only your body not our mind. It is your thoughts that trouble you into this depression. If you die with this mindset this is going to be your experience on the other side. In other words the experience that you create for yourself based on your beliefs is the same experience you create for yourself on the other side or simplified you take your problems with you. The really sucky thing is once on the other side it becomes very difficult to fix the problem, much harder than on this side we will feel unfinished on this side and will be deprived of the ability to finish.

Thirty Years Among The Dead is now in a PDF file!

I urge you to read the chapter on "Suicides. page 108" There are many people that spend many years trying to kill themselves after they have already successfully killed themselves because A) They do not know they are dead. and B) they still feel everyday the same pain that drove them to kill themselves in the first place.

Always remember as long as you are alive there is hope for change and better things to come!

Jai says, "Suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem."

It is this understanding for me that has kept me alive when I have felt very depressed many times over the years, but those have passed as so will yours. There is no denying you are in a lot of pain right now. I urge you to see a pastor or therapist that you can talk with. There are even people to call on the phone I remember something called Help Line that used to be advertised on television.

I have found it on line here http://www.helplinecenter.org/SuicideCrisisSupport.aspx

Talk with friends and family, there are many here that are caring compassionate friends you could talk with. I will be praying for you, Christ is the comforter. I will pray he comforts you and lifts you from this hold. I will also demand Satan and his devils and demons to leave you alone and flee from you!

Here is another link I just found http://walking-wounded.net/html/suicidal__places_of_help.html

Please take care and get help. You have taken a big step in coming here! You are on your way out! Continue seeking help and God be with you.

Stevie firstly I'd say that no you are definitely not dumb. Unfortunately I am not a professional but please go seek some help and if that means going back to hospital then please do so. You are a worthy human being and don't ever doubt it... there are people waiting to help you, go find them... Love & Light

Hi Stevie, The first thing I noticed about your writing is that you're very much into proving to whoever's listening that you're telling the truth. Why? What the hell does our opinion matter? If we don't believe you then that's our twisted mind. Why should you harm yourself just because you cannot control our twisted mind?

As for suicide, you are already in pain. Why punish yourself for being in pain? If you have mental pain, then you must get a temporary relief, to ease that pain. After-all, if you were physically wounded you would go to the ER to get help, wouldn't you? Or someone would send an ambulance to you. So the same thing exists with the mind - get temporary relief. Then you can sort out the source of the problem.

I feel you Stevie. I can feel that you are angry at somebody and that by wanting to hurt yourself, you're hoping that you're suffering or your death might punish them.... then they'll see. Well, they might see, but, why punish yourself just because they're too lacking in knowledge to help you? They don't have the answers to your problems. If they did, you would not be sick, because they would have given it to you long ago. So you're angry at the wrong people.

If you must be angry and try to kill, then kill the stupid useless beliefs and teachings they hand down to us that don't do us any good. Kill the expectations that another human being is responsible for your pain. No, your conditioned responses are responsible for your pain.

My mum used to shout at the sidewalk whenever we fell over, calling it naughty as she cleaned off our grazed knees. And we felt better because we believed that the uneven sidewalk was to blame for our fall. She never told us that we could have lifted out feet just an inch higher and we would never have tripped. No. She took our power away, so we blamed the things and people outside of ourself for our lack of self defense.

Listen Stevie, We're all suffering in this matrix. We will have spiritual fights and physical fights. What matters is how you view what happens. for example, if a man came at you with a sharp object, dipped it in a mild poison and started stabbing you just skin deep, but systematically all over your body you would feel totally abused and wounded, and yet everyday, people go to a man with a needle and let him stab their skin with ink-needles to create tattoos. Not a peep. No upset, in fact the pay him to do it.

Now the tattoo-ist is wounding you just as the insulter is wounding you. Would you think of suicide because you were hurt with a tattoo needle? No!

Well, Jacques Cousteau broke both his arms whilst discovering the deep sea diving bell, (probably before your time), Muhammed Ali, almost killed himself and Joe Frazier in the boxing ring...not a moan, and the worst of all... women have babies every day.... aaaaargh, having your nether regions torn apart to give birth, and some die in the process, yet they go again and have another one... now THAT'S MAD, but our response to the pain is all that matters.

So goes it with you Stevie, the pain is yet a little while, patch it up with some face to face human attention in the hospital, let the feelings calm down, and then go read Napoleon Hill, notice how you let people's opinion seem greater than yours, stop that and start loving that person you see in the mirror. It took a loooong time to grow that body to adult-hood, and there's nothing to do in the grave but lie there waiting for the resurrection, or in space... um, I mean heaven, wanting another adventure on the Earth's material realm.... boring up there. Why do you think God created matter and life forms?

Go get some help babes, chill out and get praying for guidance. Then allow that guidance in when it comes, which it will. This suffering, it too shall pass! Peace to you!

Dear Stevie, Your question is a cry for help and yes you should tell someone imediately. You need help urgently and yes there is help so please ask for it by telling a doctor or your therapist or the doctors at the mental hospital. Please dont keep quiet, tell someone that is in a position to help you.

Going back to the mental hospital is better than being suicidal and if you haven't received the right kind of help so far they can try other type of treatments or other medication. They can't know unless you tell them the way you are feeling. Please seek help for just the fact that you posted this question here is telling us that you need help and have already taken a step in the right direction which means you dont want to end your life.

Never mind what other people think dont worry about what they say it is your life and you are the most important person in it. Yes you are important and you do count and you would make all of us here at Inward Quest happy if you seek medical help as soon as posible.

There are many different medications for your problem and you will find the right one for you but you have to tell a medical profesional abot your problem and what medication you have been using. They will help you. If I was in your shoes I would go bact to the mental hospital and let them know how I feel and what is going on in my mind. Please don't wait seek medical help today.

I wish you a speedy recovery and a life filled with laughter and yes this will happen if you only give yourself a chance. In a few years from now you will look back at this time of your life and be gald you decided to act and seek the right kind of medical help.

Sending you love and healing energy

Your will is gone. This is very serious, because you have no drive to live. Get into an environment that will help you find yourself. You need a therapeutic atmosphere where you can learn about who you are. You need a reference point. Otherwise, you will be just floating around, and be prey to your environment and be consumed by your thoughts. I know what I speak when it comes to this.

stevie you are responsible for your choice. why would you want to destroy your self? will it solve your problem? i can tell you that it will not solve annything. you made the choice to experience this life. so do something good from this life. in life you have high and low. find the right balence. and get over those duality. those duality do not serve you. no one said this life was going to be easy. but if it would be to easy you would get bored. so accept the challenge that you have choose. and show your self and god that you are able to make it. also you can tell the reason why you do this. you do not want to tell because people say it is dum. so what people are like that they judge other people all the time. but the fact is that the judgement they pass is really stuff they do not like in them self. think about it if they would not have that in them self it would not bother them and angry them. so you see they hurt them self by judging every day. you it is physical and them it is mental. so you see every one needs help and love. so why do you not stop playing with rasor blade and go help people around you at least you would make something good of your life. did i condemn you? now go make the life that you should have. experience and enjoy.

Hello Stevie ... first i would suggest calm, peace and meditation ... i would certainly recommend talking to someone with whom you feel confident, otherwise there are help organisations readily available ... sharing with others is always beneficial (as we do on this site) ... personally i think you are very smart, did you know that scarification (small cuts on the skin as you show on the video) can induce a state of happiness and well-being ! ... here is an article on the subject;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarification

exactly what is needed when feeling down ...

freedom

I am so sorry that you are in such pain. I am not watching the video. If you are feeling suicidal, there are suicide hotlines you can call, but yes, you should talk to someone you can trust. Either way you would do well to learn EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique. It is a method of tapping on 'pressure' points while feeling the negative emotion, usually saying a phrase to help with that. Also FasterEFT.com is similar. I hope that you help yourself to feel better and have a joyous life. Blessings

No. Don't tell anyone