I have been working on analyzing some information that I have been getting lately. I think it fits here. I asked for this understanding, but it is a feeling I asked for, a feeling of what drives this whole thing? Why am I here? where are all these questions coming from?, for what purpose?

This is what I'm getting back in bits & pieces but it doesn't all make sense yet. Maybe you can use this information somehow.

It seems everything around (in energy form) seems to have a "this way" & "that way". It is what ever label you want to give it, but basically it is this & the other side of that "this".

Sometimes that "this" and "that" is something like here & not here or sometimes it is "when is it going to be?" balanced by "it is waiting to become".

This "this" and "that" are not two different things, it is the same energy.

Now you can catch this thing in the middle of its understanding but it is rarely possible & apparently pointless. To do that is like being all knowing.

Instead we seem to always catch this "thing" at one end or the other. When we catch it at one end, the other extreme of that same thing becomes the tension that is seeking to be discovered by you.

It is like when you catch one end you have a question. The answer is the undiscovered tension that is driving you or moving you to search. But what is weird is that the answer is the question. You just happened to catch this answer or energy in a way where you can play a game of hide & seek & you catch it as a question.

If you catch the same energy as the answer you describe it as an inspiration.

It is something like watching a cat playing with its own tail. The cat can choose to be an all knowing cat & simply say hey look my tail is wagging & ignore it. But then nothing happens. Nothing is gained. There is no soul expansion.

So the cat pretends to forget that it knows the bigger picture by suffering temporary insomnia. In this limited state of memory it sees its tail & goes hey look there is a tail there! Now there is excitement & possibility for play & growth. It pounces with great joy & enthusiasm to catch its tail & ends with the discovery it's my tail.

But there was great joy & expansion in playing the game. Life seems to be doing this. What is all knowing is choosing to not know by catching what is already all knowing & in balance, in an imbalanced or biased way so that the discovery or search for the un-known side of that same something can cause a movement or expansion

Now if somehow this drivel makes sense to you, then see what you can do with it. Maybe you can expand on it.

Finding out why something feels bad or good is not something I personally do because I don't think that knowing why you feel a certain way about something has much to do with feeling better about it...though I'm sure plenty of psychologists and psychiatrists would like to disagree with that statement, mainly because their careers depend on it. :)

But if I wanted to find out why, I would probably first find out what is causing the feeling that is causing the manifestation. (I presume it's the physical manifestation of something that has triggered our desire to know why?)

In that case, I would use a method like this one to discover what is causing that feeling.

Once you know what, I think it would probably just be a case of thinking about all the memories you have regarding that subject. Perhaps image-streaming, or similar techniques, might help get past any conscious blocks to those original thoughts.

But once you have the why, I'm not sure there would be that much you could do with it other than to realize that it doesn't really matter anymore. Only your present focus matters.

Right now, I am feeling upset....I know that it is a feeling I am choosing to feel. Your question is going to help me, because right here, I am going to tear apart what stands behind the "bad" feeling, and try to dismiss it, and accept it as another experience of life.

My mother blasted me on the phone today. My life, my accomplishments (of which she does not know much about) seem to be completely unacceptable to her and the rest of my family. The feeling this gave me I describe as "bad". I do not want it in my mind or life.

Conversely, if my mother had been kind and understanding; if she bothered about figuring me out, she might have said to me, "Good job! Great!" That would have felt good. I would then have wanted to pursue the feeling, and then let it uplift me. It did not work out that way.

Now, why does it feel bad to me? Because I want acceptance from my mother. Don't we all? Another reason is because I want everyone to understand me. I want to have good feelings about what I have chosen to do with my life. The rejection from her challenges the basic beliefs I hold about my life. That is why it feels bad! She made me question, for a time, what I am doing. The was an uncomfortable feeling. I did not like it.

So, now I see the thinking and thoughts, and understand just what she did to me. Now, I am going to reject her opinion as invalid. She clearly has not in possession of all the facts about me. All she has are impressions from other family members who also do not approve of me. I hope you can see what I am getting at...my future now has been altered. I have made some firm decisions about my family. Basically, I do not want to experience any more of their judgments. So, now, I must create a new family in my mind. I must focus on those that help me grow and encourage me. There are some people who qualify...so I am going to be fine. Those people just happen to not share my genetics.

I hoped this helped...if not; if I interpeted what you meant the wrong way- well, I guess then that I just received an opportunity to put this bad experience to good use. I thank you for asking this question.

Christmas 2009 Blessings, Jaianniah

Its a great question , because finally i found someone who will give importance to this particular aspect of ourselves. There is a practice that enables you to find all the answers. it will tell you everything you wish to know, depending on the level of your practice it will tell you the reasons behind the emotion, it will instantly overcome every emotional disturbance, it will tell you all that you need to know, which option to go for, how to react in a particular situation. Basically it will allow you to listen to the soundless sound of your heart every time, anytime, any moment, instantly.

The essential key is the cultivation of your own self awareness. With Antar Mouna, you practice inner silence to enhance awareness and self control, that leads to purification of the mind. The first step is to become aware of external sensory perceptions; shapes, forms, volumes, patterns, colors, smells, sounds, tastes, etc ... the second step is awareness of spontaneous thoughts. Creation and disposal of thoughts is the third step after which you can go on to more advanced practices. Do it for a few days or weeks and you will realize that it's the best practice you have ever come across. Antar Mouna the path to silence ... vertical and horizontal energies [1]: http://www.inwardquest.com/upfiles/water-drop_5.jpg

I have asked this question many times: What guides our emotional guidance system? I like to think of this in a 'circular' kind of way, where everything in us and without us is connected. In my opinion, the guidance system operates on the basis of our themes in life. It (well, 'we' really) knows what our themes are, i.e. desires, strengths, weaknesses, etc in our personality, and by reference to them, guides us from the emotional and intuitive perspective. I can give an example from my own experience. I was driving and coming to a cross-road. I felt this impulse, which was a thought telling me to slow down and I acted on it immediately. A second or two later a car coming from the main road turned onto my lane and literally came face to face with my car. Had I been going at a greater speed it would have resulted in a headlong crash. My explanation for this was, (a) my belief which is very strong in me that I do not want to die yet (I have pondered this quite often in my life .... it's like a theme in my thoughts); and (b) it is my goal to live (haha) and therefore, with reference to this goal, my intuition advised. Another experience. I had applied for an air-hostess job with a gigantic air company in the middle east. I was rejected. My main theme in the area of work has always been freedom. I thought I'd be free if I were working on an airplane and travelling to distant countries (haha). Well, now I know, because a series of (unplanned) events occurred, landing me a job which really gives me the freedom that I crave. The unplanned events were all based really on decisions I took without pondering much on. I was taking decisions without really having an ultimate goal. The goal was vague. I did my first degree. Then, out of boredom, did my second, then my third. Well this landed me a job in which I decide when and what time to go to my office and if I don't want to work from my office, I can work from home. This is real freedom for me. So, when I look back, the decisions to take up the degrees, were based on intuition rather than careful planning. It seems that this was making me work towards my theme, freedom.

So I see a 'circular' connection between the themes which are really important to me in my life and the 'impulse' or 'emotion' which makes me act on them without really knowing why or whether I'd be successful.

In my opinion, the answer to this question is connection .... connection among all the bits and pieces in us.