Stacy, I went through something similar years ago. It will be tedious, but just keep replacing the unwanted thoughts or images with those that are more resourceful and wanted. I promise you can win. Be consistent and persistent!

BTW--I divorced my way out of a bad marriage and later married a wonderful man who has all the traits I had wanted, and we are very happy.

You have to visualize yourself as happy, getting affection....being in all of the situations you want to be in, doing the things you want to do. Really feel the happiness! Do that daily and change will happen!

Dear Stacy,

Although for some reason I have never had this problem with an ex, there are other areas of my life where this sort of thinking has been a problem, so I think I can relate.

I see that you are new to Inward Quest. You might want to try some of the special exercises on this site which will address head-on and clear these negative thought patterns / tendencies:

http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/5901/manifesting-experiment-2-the-focus-blocks-method-manifest-what-you-want-by-deliberately-feeling-better-about-it

http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/14919/manifesting-experiment-4-the-resistance-release-method-get-what-you-want-by-clearing-whats-in-the-way-part-1-of-2

http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/18220/how-do-i-mold-a-bad-feeling-issue-to-a-better-feeling-place-using-the-abraham-grid-contains-instructions-for-using-the-abraham-grid#18226

A lot of people on this site also recommend EFT, "Emotional Freedom Technique." I know it works for me. If you do a search on this site for EFT, you will find a lot of questions and answers pertaining to it, such as this one:

http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/15972/manifesting-experiment-0fp-the-get-happy-method

Also, there are a lot of great free EFT videos on Youtube which will lead you through the process.

Congratulations...by just finding this site, you have embarked on the path to finally getting what you want. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you will reach it.