This answer may sound strange but it is my life my truth and if you resonate with any part of it, It’s good and if not it is still good. At 7 years of age I had an experience that convinced me God is as real as anything else on this earth. Actually realer than many things. At 14 I was preaching and working in the Church. Like Jonah I ran….At 17 I joined the Army to get away from all the holy expectations. I was allowed a few years of living without borders. It came to an end I was humble inside and outside, acknowledge who I was and returned like the prodigal son to my rightful position in life. Dualism or Oneness. I came to a point that I believe that all things works together for my Good. I am not restricted to studying Christian writings I read many sacred and spiritual writings. Spirit inspires all of mankind it is our lesson in Tolerance to accept that we are not all the same. Where is it leading me….I believe we have Three position. Throughout our eternal existence. 1st Positional: I cannot be separated from God. 2nd Experientially: Our lives here on earth is to experience who and what we are, the journey might be many. (A onetime you better get it right or else, doesn’t match up with unconditional love.) 3rd Ultimate Realization: God Consciousness’ in us...No lessons to learn.. and then ?…..Life is eternal. :-) I still say it is all about relationship.

I find it difficult to pinpoint some exact period I 'got started' on this path - it is not a path I can look back on and see the beginning.

I can recall being very young, riding in the car looking out the window and thinking to myself "If I wasn't alive, none of this would be here"...I don't think I quite considered myself God, but I definitely thought highly of myself. :P

I also recall many other things in my primary school. For example I would sometimes walk around with my hands clasped behind my back with the image of a wise old Chinese man in my head. I wanted to be a wise man. (along with wanting to be rich, wanting pokemon to be real, and wanting a chocolate factory like Willy Wonka's)

But I suppose the real time I 'got started' (more consciously and deliberately that is) was when my family moved to another country, when I was 11. We had a stop over and in an airport library I saw a book on yoga...I cannot recall why...but I really wanted it and insisted I have it. Needless to say I got it...and I started to practice it from my own guidance.

I came across 'chi' energy and its relation to an anime I liked, which led me to a site...which went into the 'realities' of mind power. But it was all still fairly shallow.

Then two things happened which got me deep. The first was - after much desire - I finally had myself a trip to Egypt. This led me (somehow...) into magic.

But after I returned back to the country I was living in at the time (I had moved again) something happened that would cause me to voraciously study all things esoteric I could get my hands on. One of my best friends at the time betrayed my trust and I had my first rejection from my first big crush.

I stopped trusting other people at that point, and withdrew into myself. So with not much else to do, I read everything I could get my hands on...I read books on tantra, I read books on yoga, I read New Thought, I read old dusty grimoires and newer works of Crowley and Bardon. I read on stoic philosophy. I read through the old and new testaments, the upanishads, vedas and bhagavad gita, the quaran...whatever happened to catch my interest. And I thought. And sometimes, I tried stuff out...and it often worked!

As to where I want to go...I have no particular destination in mind. I am reminded of a quote from one of Crowley's works..."Liber LXV":

Then the swan flew and dived and soared, yet no whither we went.

A little crazy boy that rode with me spake unto the swan, and said:

Who art thou that dost float and fly and dive and soar in the inane? Behold, these many æons have passed; whence camest thou? Whither wilt thou go?

And laughing I chid him, saying: No whence! No whither!

The swan being silent, he answered: Then, if with no goal, why this eternal journey?

And I laid my head against the Head of the Swan, and laughed, saying: Is there not joy ineffable in this aimless winging? Is there not weariness and impatience for who would attain to some goal?

And the swan was ever silent. Ah! but we floated in the infinite Abyss. Joy! Joy! White swan, bear thou ever me up between thy wings!

I have shared my story elsewhere as well. I was fortunate enough to have certain experiences of the unworldly type which verified some of what the sacred literature stated. I followed the Theosophical path in trying to understand what had (and still is) happening from time to time.

A degree of Understanding, in my case, led to a fuller appreciation of the reason for life here on Earth, which in its turn led to me re-evaluating my qualities and the way I apply them in every day living.

Trying harder to be of service to my fellow man did enrich my life. Which is not to say I don't fail miserably on a regular basis... but at least now I know just 'to pick myself us, dust myself off, and start all over again... :)

And no - I don't know where the heck I am going, but I know that when I'm dead, I won't be dead and that Life will just keep improving - a wonderful adventure to be sure.