When did our world become so "competitive"? What does it take to "Make It" in our world today? This is hard for me. I do not measure success like other people. I almost hate the way our media has become. What happened to our gentleness and patience? Why must I be considered to be too strong and ruthless at all? Isn't it better to be gentle with people-- or does that not fit the "formula" for success"??? Puzzled, Jaianniah asked 07 Jul '12, 19:04 Jaianniah
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My idea of success is being happy with yourself and your life. I believe success is just the way you carry yourself and how you face your problems. I think there are quite a few people who think there is only one way to accomplish things. I disagree, I think there are numerous paths that surround us, which only branch into more and more paths infinitely. I feel we underestimate ourselves and our personal power. Someone tells us we can't do it and we just accept it. You can take the path where working hard and being "ruthless" and competitive works for you. Wrestle it down to the ground and kill it, as Abraham describes it. But I find this way to be hard and full of pain. When someone says "you have to be strong and ruthless to make it" they're implying life is very hard and unfair, that you have to look out for you and distrust others. Life may be unfair and hard. People are not always honest. But life has beauty that cannot always be described and I think that we all have an inner freedom that we could simply tap into. I had no luck with being strong and ruthless. I used to think in that way and it did not serve me. Things just wouldn't work out. You just try too hard to control everything and it causes everything to become chaotic. Having fun and finding joy in things, relaxing and being friendly to those around me... sounds so simple but it makes all the difference for me. I don't try hard, I'll admit it. If something doesn't work, I give up on it. If I fight with someone, I just forget it and move on to something else. I just let things go and they simply fix themselves. It might sound crazy to some but I don't try for anything. I just enjoy myself and spread the love. Everything just works out. I just do things that make me feel good and makes me feel like a good person. It just works for me... which, to me, makes "being strong and ruthless" unnecessary. answered 08 Jul '12, 00:19 LapisLazuli Tremendous answer! Bravo! You nailed it...Thank you. <3 Jai
(08 Jul '12, 03:56)
Jaianniah
I'm with @LapisLazuli. Great answer!
(08 Jul '12, 17:33)
Dollar Bill
You're welcome! :)
(08 Jul '12, 21:21)
LapisLazuli
&Thank you:)
(08 Jul '12, 21:23)
LapisLazuli
Awesome answer..read it time and again to feel the depth in it.
(15 Jul '12, 07:34)
insilentpain
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it:)
(15 Jul '12, 12:47)
LapisLazuli
Love your answer.
(04 Aug '12, 00:50)
Paulina 1
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@Lapiz Lazuli - really great answer and from your previous comments I think you are still only quite young which is a] humbling for those of us who are a little older and not up to your speed and b] fantastic for you as you have a great life ahead of you with an attitude like this - really really well done.
(06 Aug '12, 03:05)
Catherine
Thank you Paulina and thank you Catherine:)
(10 Aug '12, 01:06)
LapisLazuli
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it was a system put in place to keep us in our box. Treb talks about this here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmwPkGakVJs love n light rob answered 07 Jul '12, 22:22 TReb Bor yit-NE Thank Treb fpr me...<3 Jai
(08 Jul '12, 04:00)
Jaianniah
@Jaianniah i will tell him personally! :-)
(03 Aug '12, 10:38)
TReb Bor yit-NE
@TReb Bor yit-NE- Please check out my comment under your answer to the remote viewing question...I didn't see your request until today...Shame on me! ♥
(03 Aug '12, 16:03)
Jaianniah
@Jaianniah ok, looking now. lnl
(05 Aug '12, 18:50)
TReb Bor yit-NE
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I agree with LapisLazuli. I really don't aspire to make it in this world, not in the context of this question. Not any more. To be judged successful in terms of the size of your wallet, your mouth, your house, your fist? Not for me. I don't understand people who live like that. I used to try, but now I just keep clear. :) For me, it's more of a gentle, daily optimum that qualifies as making it: Things like exercise and good food, meditation, fresh air, rest. Get myself into the Votext and see - how much joy I can wring out of every single day? The kindnesses I give and receive. The new knowledge and awakenings that have become a regular feature in my life. People looking forward to hearing from me? Did I provide any joy, comfort, or wisdom? That is a good day's work. Turned away from allowing something stupid to drag me down? That's progress. Did I hear I love you today? Did I say it? These are my measures now, but I'm learning to let go of even these if they don't serve the moment. I know that if I just keep myself in the Vortex as much as I can, I am everything I need to be, for myself, and for anyone around me. answered 08 Jul '12, 01:17 Grace Bing! Nailed again! You and Lapis ought to start a club for peacemakers!!! Thank you! <3 Jai
(08 Jul '12, 04:01)
Jaianniah
LOL oh no what a reputation to uphold! Thanks, Jai. Working on feeling good about this subject right now. Thank you for bringing it up.
(08 Jul '12, 10:04)
Grace
(03 Aug '12, 16:44)
white tiger
@white tiger, what a sweet and beautiful clip. I expected to see "blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God", but this was not that. Wish I understood your meaning, but it was heartwarming, anyway. :)
(03 Aug '12, 22:55)
Grace
Love this answer too.
(04 Aug '12, 00:52)
Paulina 1
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. if you are ruthless you are like the ruler of this world. the word is truth. open your eyes and ear. and listen again to what is said. now you know why i have sent this clip to you.
(04 Aug '12, 09:03)
white tiger
@white tiger, thank you. I think do see now what you mean.
(04 Aug '12, 12:24)
Grace
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Businesses compete for search engine rankings, but Google is not rewarding the hardest or fastess, or most ruthless website. Google is rewarding quality and uniqueness, and I believe Google is an intelligent organisation with benevolent values at it's core - a smarter internet. Life seems to function similarly to the internet. So aim for the same thing - qualities, and uniqueness. answered 08 Jul '12, 05:58 SR7 Great advice!!! Thanks...<3 Jai
(08 Jul '12, 06:11)
Jaianniah
Spot- on advise. I've met a man who used to work for Google a few years ago, and he said all the bosses/ management were saints in the way they treated everyone and their job....... My dad's an alcoholic, no wonder LOA lines him up with Yahoo lol :P
(08 Jul '12, 06:54)
Nikulas
This is a great perspective, thank you for sharing it. You have pointed my thinking in a much better direction. And yes, my son was sort of head-hunted by Google, and they are a fantastic company. They treat their employees with the utmost respect and encourage greatness from each of them. Can you imagine how much better job you can do when you spend hours and hours a day writing code, if you get to bring your dog with you to work? :)
(08 Jul '12, 10:17)
Grace
The answer is different and the message is the same. Good thinking.
(04 Aug '12, 00:54)
Paulina 1
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This kind of success is slavery I recommend Robert Greene's, 48 Laws of Power, and Machiavelli's, The Prince for advice in "ruthless success." The books give good insight into how some people play this game. Perhaps, the Gordon Gekko types would use this. Consider the Dathan's advice for success, because it seems very relevant today. "I am here because I bowed lower than my brothers before the Egyptians. Now the Egyptians bow low before me," Dathan, The 10 Commandments. The slave and master are essential to each other, and the best thing we can do is not play that game. We should understand how the world thinks, but live in accordance with The Universe, that offers love and prosperity, in proportion to what we can receive. answered 03 Aug '12, 17:11 AlicianFields I enjoyed your answer.
(04 Aug '12, 01:24)
Paulina 1
Super duper answer.
(04 Aug '12, 01:51)
Nikulas
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Hi Jai, To be strong and ruthless will attract strong and ruthless people into a persons life and they will forever think that they need to be more strong and ruthless to make it. It is a vicious circle without end. One can be kind and loveing but firmness and a strong character are required in todays compatitive world. Yes one must be able to say the word no with conviction when required. In your case think Jesus Christ. Loveing, kind but firm and authorative. answered 04 Aug '12, 01:31 Paulina 1 1
they should work together in peace,harmony,equality and collaboration. then they would be alot more strong. we are more strong united then divided. but many are on the wide road of destruction being ruthless casting stone at their brother and sister to serve their own selfish perpace.
(04 Aug '12, 09:30)
white tiger
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It is said it is a cut-throat world or a dog eat-dog world. In business, this seems to make sense. If we consider the Gas prices here in the USA, you can see one store selling gas and next thing is across the street someone else is selling the same gas for more! So he is selling the same gas and making a greater profit off of the gas you buy. They are in competition with each other to sell you the highest price gasoline. Each has to try to outdo the the other to make the greatest profit. But that is the basis of capitalism and what makes it so great is that we have that option of selling to make greater and greater profits. The only problem is with this is that we can not say oh if gasoline cost this much I am switching to the competition and buying nasoline instead (nasoline does not exist by the way.) So we must pay if we want to drive because there is no competition for gasoline, we either buy gasoline or don't drive. answered 07 Jul '12, 22:16 Wade Casaldi Are you suggesting that capitalism is the root of this evil? Then why did it work so long, and then turn into this- what we have now? Good point, BTW....<3 Jai
(08 Jul '12, 03:59)
Jaianniah
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If one gas station is more than the other, I will go to the cheaper station. That is capitalism. Jai, I think you know that the quote is really, "The Love of money . . . ." Anything that supersedes our relationship with God, causes us to miss the mark.
(08 Jul '12, 17:21)
Dollar Bill
I am not saying capitalism is evil at all. I think it is great! It is Monopoly that is bad because that removes competition which is the basis of capitalism.
(08 Jul '12, 21:25)
Wade Casaldi
Agreed, Wade.
(09 Jul '12, 15:16)
Dollar Bill
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i can give you other option wade electric or hydrogen car. know this wade the option are always open. where will they store their wealth? and yes Dollar Bill go to the cheaper station. removing competition would be good if replace with cooperation. but the rich camel will not like that.
(17 Jul '12, 22:57)
white tiger
@white tiger if you are wealthy enough to afford to buy one of those cars then the price of gas wouldn't be much a problem for you anyway.
(03 Aug '12, 20:34)
Wade Casaldi
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well wade you missed the point it is about choice not about money. the first car in 1895 where electric by the way http://www.lowtechmagazine.com/overview-of-early-electric-cars.html . with the technology from today it should be easy to make a car to get from point a to b; put electric motor(400$) battery(100$) and solar panel(300$). you do not have enuff money buy a bicycle or roller skate.
(03 Aug '12, 22:18)
white tiger
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@Jaianniah, your question is multifaceted. I personally have felt this way until few years ago, And although, I understand what you are saying, you have like six questions in there and some contradictions within them:) Here are my two cents... I personally don't think that the default personality of successful people is ruthless, a$$hole, mean and evil! It just seems that way because those are the ones most people read/watch/follow and are most featured in media! Just like the default personality of 'non-successful' people is not that of kind, gentle, harmonious, generous either.
No, it's not true, unless you are referring to 'making it in this World' professionally, then to a certain degree it is true. This depends on your definition of 'making it'. In fact, you'll be surprise to know that, the few ultra-successful people I know, also ask the same question:) Just because they are doing it doesn't mean they're happy' about it:) They choose to live that way. Good for them, I say.
It always has been competitive. And it always will be. That doesn't mean you have to take part in that competition. If you don't get it, the other guy is gonna get it. Right or wrong, it just has been that way. In professional World, you are fighting for the same customers/clients/consumers so competition is unavoidable. In fact, from a consumer point of view, competition is great as he has more options to choose from.
That also depends on your definition of 'making it'. There is no minimum or maximum requirement to 'make-it', depending on your idea of 'making it', it can be 'do nothing' to 'do whatever it takes'. There are very content people with very less, there are also very dis-content people with outrageously 'more'. There is no upper limit! This is a personal/individual bar-setting.
I think here, you are comparing yourself with others. If you do not measure success like other people (like I don't) you should not let the media or other people affect you. I know it is difficult as the media in Western countries and increasingly in Eastern countries are awestruck with wealth/celebrities/overnight millionaires etc., it is achievable. I personally had to re-calibrate my own definitions few years ago. This is increasingly more difficult as now, the information, news or otherwise, is almost unavoidable, but think about it this way, when a alcoholic goes sober, the bars, the liquor stores, the beer TV commercials, the drinking people are still there, one has to navigate without letting it all affect your sobriety. They'll always be there. And here's the thing: They don't think they are doing anything wrong. In a way, they are not making people alcoholics now are they! They are within their rights to do business (aggressively or not)! It is in this context, you can be strong and ruthless. Stick to your beliefs. Pick what you want to follow and ignore that which doesn't serve you.
It's still being practiced!And it always will be. Maybe not so much in business but most people don't open their businesses because of charity. So to a certain degree it is expected there. Over the years, I have learned to separate my personal and professional lives. That's the only way, IMHO.
I don't think it's a question of "formula" for success. Lot's of strong and ruthless people are utter failures (Hitler???) and just being gentle does not help either (Mother Teresa??). Not everybody is going to come to you for your gentleness, most of them will come to take advantage of you being a nice person. Also, I would not dismiss the great achievements people have gifted our physical World either. Almost in all major inventions/discoveries in human history, there was ruthlessness, business strategy, out- manoeuvring competition, monopolizing etc. We wouldn't be on this site had it not been for a guy whose ambition was to put PC in every home on the planet or the guy who came up with World Wide Web:) or commercial Aviation, telephony etc. If you've read/ watched Bill Gates or Mark Zukerberg's stories, they were unwavering in their business pursuits. As per these stories they were strong and ruthless as well:) And this is not a new thing. Almost all of our mythology reflects competition, strategy, obsession with staying ahead in the World. I personally think, the human race doesn't know what they want (not all of us, but most of us). We will protest until it gets to our hands and then we get so used to it that we cannot live without it:) I think separation of Who I am, Who I am expected to be and What I do (for a living) is a must. I think all of us have to be aware of this separation consciously. answered 08 Jul '12, 02:40 Xoomaville I also liked your answer very much! It was in depth in its explanation. It was an answer that we all can understand. BTW, I have been navigating the world of Bill W. for 31 years! Yoom, you have become a great addition to IQ! Thank you! <3 Jai
(08 Jul '12, 04:08)
Jaianniah
@Jaianniah, 31 years? Wow, feel really proud of you! Also, thanks for the kind words, it's active members like you who really make IQ a great experience:) I feel at home here:)
(08 Jul '12, 05:26)
Xoomaville
@Xoomaville, wish I'd stayed up just a bit later and caught this answer, I'd have slept a bit better. Loving the balance and wisdom here. I don't compartmentalize maybe as well as I should, and this subject can make me feel a bit low. Thanks for your thoughts. :)
(08 Jul '12, 10:01)
Grace
@Grace, I guess it takes a while to start really living it once you attain that balance, but I can tell you, once you do, it's magical. You get to be two people:) And the personal life gets better. Yes Grace, must compartmentalize, I am not saying I have perfecto balance, but I am seeing the difference:)
(08 Jul '12, 11:56)
Xoomaville
@Xoomaville "Not everybody is going to come to you for your gentleness, most of them will come to take advantage of you being a nice person." Do you consider this an empowering belief system? Does this focus you on abundance? On Joy? On Love? On successful living? Do you think that successful people clawed their way to the top and now enjoy an abundant lifestyle? Or did they enjoy abundant thinking, first? What you focus the Spotlight of your attention on, grows. What do you want to grow?
(09 Jul '12, 09:23)
Dollar Bill
@Xoomaville, I have read that men are better at compartmentalizing than women. Any truth to that, you think?
(09 Jul '12, 11:44)
Grace
@Grace, sorry just getting to answering the backlog...I think men compartmentalize better because of this: Men in every culture around the planet have been trained to disregard and minimize their emotional world. So, generally speaking, men 'move on' from issues in chunks, this I think is a survival instinct skill-set, but men unknowingly apply it everywhere in their lives:)
(15 Jul '12, 08:56)
Xoomaville
the person that abuse the nice person. is going down hill fast. and who will stop is fall? when every one know that he is abusing nice people. if he would have know the beguinning he would have know the end.
(17 Jul '12, 23:08)
white tiger
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Being part of the business world I can say yes and no to your question Jai. No, you don't have to be ruthless. It's really a myth! I see several ruthless people and they're only good for a few years in the business I'm in. They are usually people in their 30's who "think" they have to be that way in order to get ahead and impress their boss to get promoted. Instead they "age" quickly, their family lives suffer (if they even have one), and they burn out after 5 yrs (ish). Alot of them are cowards as they get their subordinates to do the dirty work for them out of fear for their jobs and they blame others if something goes wrong. They're people you don't really want to be around as they "radiate" misery.......but they get results.....although based on fear!!! Yes, you have to be strong. If your not strong, people (employees/customers) will walk all over you and take advantage of you. To simplify it, being strong is really the ability to say "NO!" Yes, you have to be Aggressive If you have 2 employee's at 2 separate companies and one employee starts making phone calls to clients starting at 9am when they arrive at work, and the other employee would like to relax before even thinking about making some calls or might leave it till the afternoon.....well the more aggressive go-getter is going to be the one making the money. You have to make an effort (big or small) to get money. Society (This is a brief explanation as to why it's hard to get ahead....) The world is "OWNED" by a very small group of people and they control the Governments, Banking systems, financial institutions.....they decide how much you pay "for everything!!" and they decide how much money the average man will have. They don't want people coming up "out of the pack" and taking away their power and control...... Society is "designed" to keep the "general population" a little bit above the "revolution level!"....(except seniors who are too old and scared to revolt.) Give the people just enough so they can feed themselves, and not revolt and take their power away....it is absolutely "designed" to hold you down......and it's been designed that way for thousands of years.....so don't get freeked out that this is something new. (This is also how Corporations are designed) If anybody does really well they will "tax" it back from you. Property tax is just another word for "rent." & "Working extra hours is just a heavier income tax".....AND its a crime for the "General population" to not pay tax!! It's a Lose/Lose situation. So what do you do???...... ....understand the following: ...You will "NEVER" get rich at your job alone! ...Everybody who "is" rich has "multiple" sources of income....not just one! ...The only place you can get money in this world is from "other people." ...If you buy cheap discount clothing you will "stink" of "cheap" in the eyes of "other people" ...Money (Eg: expensive clothes) attracts Money ...How much money you make is "TOTALLY LINKED" to how good you feel about yourself!! ...You "DON'T" have to re-invent a new product or service with an incredible business plan behind it......No, you can use an already existing product or service and make it "slightly different" finally.... ...If you spend hours each day watching TV or playing video games or "doing nothing" you have absolutely no right to complain about not having enough money. Even an extra thousand dollars a month is enough to take a huge financial weight off your shoulders and lets you start enjoying life!! To better understand: $1000 every month......or: $500 every 2 weeks....or: $250 every week.....or: $50 every day (5 day week) Is there something that could earn you $50 per day extra?....that's all it would take to make life so much better. answered 08 Jul '12, 23:11 Eldavo 1
Hi Eldavo.
(09 Jul '12, 23:56)
The Traveller
You're welcome. I feel I have to clarify acouple of points on the list for some: When I refer to "other people" I am refering to those you have a "fair exchange" of a product or service for their "money"....even something simple like "I'll mow your lawn for $50"...that's a fair exchange
(10 Jul '12, 16:24)
Eldavo
When I refer to "cheap" clothing vs "good/expensive" clothing....Good clothing makes "you" feel good about yourself.....sure some millionaires only wear jeans and T-shirts and that makes them feel good, there are also alot that dress very nice....why do people get dressed up to go out on a Saturday night? It makes them feel good! and how good you feel about yourself is "totally linked" to how much money you make. Fact: Good clothes make you feel good and attracts other people to you! FacT!
(10 Jul '12, 16:42)
Eldavo
I enjoyed this answer.
(04 Aug '12, 01:13)
Paulina 1
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I came across the following from www.spiritualchannelling.com and immediately thought of this question. Tony Neate has been channelling HA, a source of higher consciousness for fifty years! Below is what HA has to say (if you want to read the whole thing it is in the channellings archive bit of the website entitled "The Pathway to the Spirit"). HA starts off talking about the vulnerability of flowers and butterflies and then goes on to talk about humans. "Human beings, feeling themselves to be fragile, to be weak, cover themselves in a kind of shell for protection, feeling that this is the way to cope with Earth life. But of course what happens is that that shell, far from serving them, becomes not only divisive between one human being and another, but it separates the person, the human being from their own spirit. Think about that! This entire planet is full of needy human beings who need love, need warmth, need nurture; all are needy. But the way to receive what is needed is not to hide beneath a shell, a protection, to create some kind of a barrier. That is a false protection. The way to receive what is needed is to be acknowledged and to feel the vulnerability - that is like the snow that falls from the sky. It is so soft it comes into all the cracks and moistens the earth. Vulnerability is that softness, the delicate bloom on the butterfly’s wings, the petal that allows beauty to come into form. For your beauty to come into form there needs to be no barrier. There needs to be a pathway, if you like, whereupon your own divine spirit can flow down into this incarnation. It needs not to be impeded. It needs a soft way. When you weep you allow yourself to soften. Your tears create a smooth watery pathway for spirit to enter. Your tears release some of that hard artificial shell that serves you not. You may wonder how you can survive in a world of turmoil and turbulence. The way to survive is to work with your environment, in the same way that the flower and the butterfly survive in their environment, by being with it, flowing with and being a vulnerable expression of the Godhead. It is quite hard for many human beings to realise that their softness and their vulnerability is perhaps the greatest way to reach soul consciousness. They shut their own soul away, using an illusionary strength, a toughness that becomes hardness." So the answer for all of us is not to "toughen up" but to flow a little more. Jaianniah don't put a protective shell around your so obviously warm heart. answered 17 Jul '12, 06:08 Catherine 1
@Catherine, thank you for sharing this. I feel like I've just been told its ok to be who I am. Beautiful!
(18 Jul '12, 11:24)
Grace
@Grace Just thought I'd let you know - I went on this guy's website and the being of higher consciousness known as HA has a symbol and guess what - it is the ankh just like your gravatar!
(02 Aug '12, 08:20)
Catherine
@Catherine, thanks for letting me know! That is cool. :)
(02 Aug '12, 10:10)
Grace
Wonderful words of wisdom.
(04 Aug '12, 01:17)
Paulina 1
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I have given this question much thought. It may be that we might need to be strong...but never ruthless. Many people have struggled hard against oppression and "the way things are" to free us from wrong. I believe that, just like the fight against segregation, this ruthless attitude of eat-or-be-eaten world is just such a wrong- especially when so many suffer so much. The gentle people of the world cannot understand or fight back against such meanness. I am going to quote a famous man who struggled HARD against prejudice, yet abhorred violence. Here goes: Acceptance Speech at Nobel Peace Prize Ceremony — December 10, 1964 At age 35, King became the youngest man to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. When he learned of the honor, he announced that he would donate all of the prize money ($54,123) to the civil rights movement. Therefore, I must ask why this prize is awarded to a movement which is beleaguered and committed to unrelenting struggle, and to a movement which has not yet won the very peace and brotherhood which is the essence of the Nobel Prize. After contemplation, I conclude that this award, which I receive on behalf of that movement, is a profound recognition that nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time: the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to violence and oppression. (Read more: Martin Luther King Speeches — Infoplease.com http://www.infoplease.com/spot/mlkspeeches.html#ixzz201A6iuwb) In Peace, Jaianniah answered 08 Jul '12, 04:36 Jaianniah I met Martin Luther King Jr., he was from Atlanta. My sister's best friend was his wife, Coretta King's secretary. I liked him. I think that he had a good heart. I also think that he would be very upset about how the civil rights movement has turned out.
(08 Jul '12, 17:27)
Dollar Bill
@Dollar Bill-I agree. I lived in Mississippi for 12 horrible years, and it is like the Civil War never ended...The segregation is rampant, although NEVER discussed...Even the churches are mostly white or black, not both....It is subtle and sad...I was hated because I was from the North, and my "man" had deserted me....You get the picture...Thanks for answering! ♥♥♥
(02 Aug '12, 08:26)
Jaianniah
Love the wise words of Martin Luther King. Great men never die for they live forever in our hearts and minds.
(04 Aug '12, 01:21)
Paulina 1
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Keep the great answers flowing, guys and gals! I am impressed! [clapping] <3 Jaianniah
Great question Jai.