Hi @cris77, welcome to IQ!

I have been learning that as you make spiritual progress, especially at first, you can expect a lot of seemingly strange things to go on both inside of you, and all around you. The key to it seems to be to not allow any of it dismay or discourage you. In fact, if these things are happening, congratulations! You are doing great! :)

I am definately a fellow student in this, but I am learning that this kind of thing is just another one of the many faces of a purging process that just has to take place in you in order to allow you to move on. It shows up in so many different ways, it can be difficult to recognize.

The intricate web of beliefs that have served you all your life up to this point is being broken down, redesigned, and respun to integrate your new understanding, and that just isn't a pretty process. At least, it hasn't been for me. :) Those old beliefs don't always meekly agree to go quietly, and they and their side-kicks Negativity, Anger, Depression, and Confusion will sometimes fight for their own survival in the way you describe, along with many other ways.

I would say, observe it all, like watching an interesting bug under a microscope, note how it all makes you feel, and let it go. If you don't feed it with your attention (your energy), it will starve, and just peter out.

Most of all, don't blame yourself, or think you have done anything wrong - you have not. In fact, you are really doing exceptionally well. :) And 15 minutes of pissiness has definately not screwed up the benefits you will enjoy from keeping your vibrations high throughout the day. Guaranteed.

If you pay attention very closely, I am almost certain that upon awakening you are not angry and resentful. When I was going through a very difficult time I noticed that In those very first few seconds after I woke up I was actually very peaceful - it was only until I let the negative thoughts come in that I became aware of them. When you wake up every day consciously look at that and start your day with gratitude. It can be very small at first - being thankful for being able to wake up or walking or sleeping...you get the idea. Then remind yourself often that no matter what has happened in your life you have the control to change it from this day forward.

We have all known people (or ourselves) who have been so drunk that they don't remember how they got home the previous night. So much alcohol was drunk that the conscious mind was shut down....our subconscious mind took over and got us home safely...somehow? Be it be taking a taxi, walked, a friend drove us, and in some cases driven themselves.

The next morning as you start to wake you don't even remember drinking, just the familiar feeling of waking up. Then the conscious mind kicks in and takes over and now it doesn't feel good...."Uggh!! What happened! I feel like crap!"....starting with the last conscious thoughts you had of the previous night when being with friends at the party and slowly trying to piece things together...."OMG! I made such a fool out of myself with that lampshade!.....

....and the negative spiral downwards starts.

BUT!

What if something different was said:...

"Wow! Did you see me with that lampshade? That was hilarious!"

Now, you've gone from negative regret to positive hilarious...because that's what you "chose" to think with your conscious mind....that's the way your conscious mind is set up to think.

Negative regret= the rest of your day ruined..

Positive Hilarious=the rest of your day is great (except the hangover)

Whatever your thinking of now is what you choose to think of now.....whether it be negative or positive that is completely up to yourself.....and your results will match your vibration.

Hello Cris,

First off, I second everything that Grace said. I feel like I've been where you are--actually it sounds like I was about where you are only 6 months or so ago. I began doing a lot of spiritual work, including the exercises on this site, yet was still having chronic nightmares a month or two in. But eventually they went away. It may take a few months of consistent work to "sublimate" or rid yourself of these subtle negative impressions and tendencies.

I posted some quotes relating to this experience which may shed some light on it for you:

http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/57983/can-working-with-my-chakras-help-get-me-free-from-whats-getting-me-down?page=1&focusedAnswerId=58086#58086

I hope when you read this, you'll realize that this is just part of the process; stay calm, don't let the negative spells drag you down (try not to place too much importance on them), and know that the problems will disappear within a few weeks (or possibly months) as long as you stay the course. Stingray once told me, and it was both comforting and enlightening at the time:

The reality that manifests around you (is reflected to you) is a representation of your dominant thoughts, not what you think once in a while, or even a few times a day.

(His whole answer here)

In the meantime, what I would do (or I should say what I did when I was in a similar situation), is to try the numerous processes available on this site which will help treat the problem directly. Basically, use anything and everything at your disposal. This could include, but is not limited to, EFT, meditation, vortex mediation CDs, listening to positive music (and anything else that will put you "in the vortex"), and using Manifesting Experiment #2 and Manifesting Experiment #4. Or, just have a look at the whole Manifesting Guide.

Hope this helps!

This is common, it is like climbing up a steep hill you climb 7 steps and slid back 10. You feel like you are going nowhere. Do not give up! This is how we build faith we do not give up.

If you keep going eventually you will break even, go up 10 steps and slide down 10 steps!

That is something to celebrate, I know it seems like celebrating standing still and is that very much but it is celebrating not losing ground.

Next comes starting to gain ground going up 10 steps and sliding back 7 steps. This gets more and more until you are gaining ground up higher each time.

The important thing is do not give up, when you feel lousy you need to pull yourself up and get back on that trail do not let getting down stop you. You will build your faith stronger and stronger the more you apply your faith.

You need to be fully sincere every time you climb up, if you are not you can not make that transition from losing ground constantly to breaking even then on to gaining ground.

Because wrapping a rotten tomato into a beautiful foil will not solve the rottenness.

Conscious effort to keep optimistic and happy is just that and can go only that far. The subconscious mind is underlining everything you do or think. It is what causes you to feel bad after waking up. That's because your consciousness don't start right off the bat when you wake up, but you are in hands of your subconsciousness or who knows your heart.

There's logical understanding and inner understanding. Your trying to beat the inner one with logic. Instead you should travel within yourself and defeat your own demons. Or because this analogy of focusing on your demons doesn't appeal to many as they believe negativity from the demons would magnify, lets say you are going to your inner garden to plug out weed that's blocking sun from reaching your beautiful flowers.

Indeed you may try to focus on the flowers in your garden instead and ignore the weed. That's what many desperately do in order to be happy, ignoring the fact that by getting rid of the weed or destroying their demons, their potential for happiness would increase drastically.

Because happiness is NOT a GOAL. It is a BY PRODUCT of the way you live your life.

I watched a video, The Science of Sleep. When we are sleeping, our brains go through different patterns of brain waves, or frequencies. Which frequency our brain is in when we wake up, affects the way we feel when we wake up. Certain frequency leaves you refreshed and ready for the day, and one leaves you feeling less than great, grumpy, or sleepy, etc...

There are some techniques to overcome waking in the 'wrong' frequency. One thing you can do is to make it a habit to great the morning with gratitude. I say things like, "Thank you for this beautiful day, thank you for my son, and my home and my bed, and my cat and my job and my clients and food to eat and water to drink and air to breathe and clothes to wear and a car to drive and a healthy body etc...."

Another thing I do to feel better any time is Two Hands Touching. It can be done first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. It can be done by its self or combined with affirmations to change your beliefs, etc...