You get what you give. If you don't like what you are getting, change what you are giving. Even on a mental level, don't think in your mind that your spouse is a jerk, think, "I love my spouse," and even think of some things you love and appreciate about them. Say to them, "I really appreciate you." Then walk into your bedroom. They will follow you in there to find out why. Then give them at least three reasons, so make sure you have them ready before you do this. The more you tell your spouse what you appreciate about them, the more they will want to do those things, even unconsciously. You can do it with kids, and other people, you just don't go into the bedroom, you go into another room, but walk away. You will be amazed at how you will find more and more things to appreciate when you start looking for them.

you reap what you sow and it works booth ways,you are responsible of your choice and how it affect other and so is she. why not share and talk with your wife. you might solve alot working together rather then one agaisnt the other. every second of your life is opportunity. so let there be light ,be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.