"Well, I'm glad SOMEBODY gets to lay around and rest when they feel like it. I was busy all weekend, never stopped, every thing sucks for ME, must be nice to be YOU."

My answer would be "You know it, MY life is gooood" and smile :D
Being positive and felling it to is your best defense. We say affirmations to improve our beliefs don't we?

You are bad; =You are baaad
self-indulgent = another peice of candy? yes!
selfish = sure if you don't take care of yourself who will?
pampered= smiles
lazy= you are frugal with wasting your energy on nonproductive thoughts
worthless= at listening to negativity
and ridiculously lucky to have such an easy life. = Time to buy a lotto ticket?
You don't deserve it.= de-serve:well you cant send it back you might as well enjoy your great life and smile

peace

So whenever you feel negativity arising within you, whether caused by an external factor, a thought, or even nothing in particular that you are aware of, look on it as a voice saying `Attention. Here and Now. Wake up."

Even the slightest irritation is significant and needs to be acknowledged and looked at; otherwise, there will be a cumulative build-up of unobserved reactions. As I said before, you may be able to just drop it once you realize that you don't want to have this energy field inside you and that it serves no purpose.

But then make sure that you drop it completely. If you cannot drop it, just accept that it is there and take your attention into the feeling, as I pointed out earlier.As an alternative to dropping a negative reaction, you can make it disappear by imagining yourself becoming transparent to the external cause of the reaction. I recommend that you practice it with little, even trivial, things first.

Let's say that you are sitting quietly at home. Suddenly, there is the penetrating sound of a car alarm from across the street. Irritation arises. What is the purpose of the irritation? None whatsoever. Why did you create it? You didn't. The mind did. It was totally automatic, totally unconscious.

Why did the mind create it? Because it holds the unconscious belief that its resistance, which you experience as negativity or unhappiness in some form, will somehow dissolve the undesirable condition. This, of course, is a delusion. The resistance that it creates, the irritation or anger in this case, is far more disturbing than the original cause that it is attempting to dissolve.

All this can be transformed into spiritual practice. Feel yourself becoming transparent, as it were, without the solidity of a material body. Now allow the noise, or whatever causes a negative reaction, to pass right through you. It is no longer hitting a solid "wall" inside you

As I said, practice with little things first. The car alarm, the dog barking, the children screaming, the traffic jam. Instead of having a wall of resistance inside you that gets constantly and painfully hit by things that "should not be happening," let everything pass through you

Somebody says something to you that is rude or designed to hurt. Instead of going into unconscious reaction and negativity, such as attack, defense, or withdrawal, you let it pass right through you

Offer no resistance. It is as if there is nobody there to get hurt anymore. That is forgiveness. In this way, you become invulnerable. You can still tell that person that his or her behavior is unacceptable, if that is what you choose to do.

But that person no longer has the power to control your inner state. You are then in your power - not in someone else's, nor are you run by your mind. Whether it is a car alarm, a rude person, a flood, an earthquake, or the loss of all your possessions, the resistance mechanism is the same.

The Power of Now

Since we create our reality with our beliefs, and we see ourselves reflected in others, then this person is revealing to you that you have beliefs that you are lazy, self indulgent, etc... and feel guilt for taking care of yourself. People reflect back at us our own beliefs. So if we don't like the reflection, or echo that we are getting back, then we need to change the original message that is being sent out, our beliefs. Eliminate your own guilt and it will no longer be reflected back to you in others.

This is probably a less-spiritual answer, but for years when dealing with situations like these, I have been using the "bum on the street" analogy.

Simply put, when somebody says something "insulting" or rude to me, I imagine how I would feel if the same things were said to me by a strange, mangy bum who approached me on the street.

"You are lazy."

"What is that thing you are wearing?"

"You are such a jerk..."

Etc.

The answer is usually, that I would either laugh it off, or arch my eyebrow at this strange creature, turn and go about my business without giving their words a second thought.

It helps remind me that it is my relationship with the person, not the words themselves, that are complicating things in my mind and causing any sense of irritation or desire to "defend" against something.

Using the bum analogy usually puts things in perspective in my own mind, and dissolves any feelings of upset pretty quickly.

Many people, due to their own deep-seated unhappiness and lack of satisfaction, criticize others just to try getting the feeling....just for a moment....of elevation over you. Some are just contrary by nature and don't even realize most of the time that they are being that way. The world is full of all sorts of people, each with their own set of problems. Her comments have nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. I guess I would like to remind you not to take it personally and to just let it go. Believe me, I know that is easier said than done, but take a deep breath and remind yourself that person is very unhappy and just keep going with your day. Dwelling on it at all gives it power over you. Best wishes!

they have free will and are responsable for their choice. it is not new eventually they will understand to not judge and stay in truth with discernement. often people will judge and accuse you yet when it is them it is not the same the same word and judgement they cast at you or other when cast at them they will not agree to it. so when they will have no choice to learn the truth how much will they have to bear. if you know that there is nothing to do,because it is the person free will and that person is not ready to change yet and admit is error,just let them be until the last day.you are not responsible for their choice only for your choice. so let there be light,be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.

I think people lash out like that because they can take things such as you have said and reflect it upon themselves and find their life somehow lacking.

I don't think anyone likes having faults pointed out, even if it is in this round-about way. And this is entirely not your fault or your responsibilty.

Perhaps you saying those things to them is a pointer that maybe THEY should be focusing attention on these issues in their lives, much like sometimes when someone else says something to you and it somehow bothers you. I think sometimes we forget that we can also be vehicles for messages for other people.

I think the best thing we can do is try to be understanding of the other person because it's about the only way to cope with it. I find this hard myself, but usually after the issue arises and I have some time to think on it, I do realize that the other person must be in some sort of pain or have some worry that they are bouncing off of you. It's just them reacting to themselves. Maybe they go home later and regret what they have said to you, but don't have the gumption to apologize properly. (My mom does this).

When I bump heads with people like this, I have to take a step back and retreat to mull over it and then sort of "wash" away what happened. Depending how what happened, this may take a few minutes to even an hour or so. Imagine yourself like a fluffy sheep. People's stuff can get caught in your fleece, so you have to take time to brush it out.

I just realize a lot of my answers use weird analogies! I hope this has helped you. I think you are a very sweet and loving person.

LOL. I know exactly what that is all about. It is a person who is projecting their own imbalances onto you. And they are doing this because it has to be mirrored back onto you. It is a very simple idea, but still so frustrating. This vid explains how and why it is done. Hope it helped.

Love n light

rob

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiESuF7nWWk

Yesterday I became very aware of this idea, where yes, people often rather kick someone when they are up than down. Someone can be causing their own demise and the caretakers and enablers are there to lift them up and build them up. And to protect them.

When someone is doing well they are often seen as unworthy of perks, so yea, it's up to us to feel and vibrate to that end, where the perks just find us.

I don't play nice in such situations.

I will most likely say something like "Well I'm glad that I am not as miserable as you are, compared to your life, my life definitely seems to be much better".

But then I'll usually come back with something like, I only wish that my life was as fantastic as you describe.

I have found over time that people who complain have a compulsive habit of complaining about everything and the best thing to do is not join their pity party by showing empathy.

This sounds cold and harsh, but we are just as responsible for enabling their misery by thinking that they are too emotionally fragile to be slapped into reality.

You can also try any variation of the following response of reversing their statement back to them.

You can ask "Now what were you trying to accomplish by telling me this? were you trying to make me feel good or were you trying to make yourself feel bad?"

When I am caught off guard by something that sounds like an insult, my favorite response is "Now why did you say that to me, just now, because it felt like an insult"

And I keep on hammering at it until they run out of explanations.

This, by the way, is exactly what they were doing to you moments ago.

When someone treats us as such as you had been treated, we need to not feel down. When someone says "It must be nice being YOU" this is telling you something. Where you hear this appreciate it as a message from God telling you to count yourself blessed and recognize this blessing. You don't need to openly respond but think to yourself "Thank you God I get the message. It sure is nice being me!" "Please bless this friend with the same blessing you give me."