Is my desire for violence based on my childhood abuse and bullying?

Quite possibly. The way you describe your childhood sounds alot like mine actually :)

As a result of that upbringing, in those younger years, I came to believe that violence was a solution, a way of life to getting what I wanted.

Also, like you, I wanted to use (and often did use) my violence for "positive" purposes - or at least what I believed was "positive" :) - though not in an establishment-based manner such as the army or police force.

What I discovered was that a violence-based approach to life is a game you can never win. Violence begets violence. Even if you beat up one "bad guy", you soon attract more and more of them...until your life becomes a never-ending battle of fighting with and running from "bad guys". No matter how many you deal with, more just seem to keep appearing out of nowhere :)

This was long, long, long before I understood any ideas about Law of Attraction but, even then, I came to the conclusion that violent solutions were never going to be good for me in the long term.

Like you, there was a part of me that kept prodding from within that there had to be a better way.

Anyway, I don't much like dwelling on the details of my past so let's take a look at practicalities for dealing with this...

Here's what I would do to handle this today - instead of beating up the bad guys :)

You'll notice that this is an extremely streamlined variation of the ideas in Manifesting Experiment 4

• Find a clearing method that works for you. There's some advice on this in Manifesting Experiment 4. These days I really only use Focus Blocks/Wheels, Faster EFT (especially the remarkable Super Power Quick Tap) and occasionally Sedona Method variants.

• These next steps are going to make you feel really bad for a while, while you get in touch with the vibrational roots of your issues. I would suggest making sure you cannot be interrupted until the process is complete otherwise you may end up punching someone :)

• Make a list of every memory or event in your life where you have felt disempowered or helpless. This might take a while. Just let those scenarios flood out of you. You are going to feel pretty terrible as you do this...it's normal.

• Now for each memory and event, make a list of all the emotions you felt at that time. You can also do this as you initially think of each memory or event.

• You should now be feeling absolutely horrible ...don't worry, it's normal :)

• For every emotion on your emotions list, ask yourself if there is anything in your life now (or ever has been in the past), that has also made you feel like that emotion.

• If you can think of any further memories and events that give rise to those emotions, add them to your brainstorming because they are vibrationally connected. Extract the emotions from them in the same manner as described above.

• Keep repeating the above process until you've listed every memory or event that has caused you pain, and you've extracted all the major emotions from them.

• You now have in front of you the key to your emotional freedom.

• If you can clear the negative emotions that you've listed (using your preferred clearing method), that will also clear the painful memories and events for good...because you are clearing all the vibrational causes, rather than just the symptoms.

• This clearing might take a while if you are applying a one-at-a-time clearing method. Or it can take just a few minutes using something like Faster EFT's Super Power Quick Tap approach - my own personal preferred choice for a "major" clean-up. However long it takes, you only have to do it once ever, so it's worth the time investment.

• When the clearing is done, go back and read every memory and event you've written and see whether it triggers any negative emotion within you. If it does, clear it immediately.

• Also read through every emotion you've listed as connected to those memories and events and see whether anything negative is triggered. If you sense anything, clear it immediately.

• Your target is to be able to read everything you listed and feel no negative emotional reaction at all.

• If you can do this, you're now free and clear and you can re-evaluate your life decisions from a newer, fresher and reliable personal perspective. If you still decide to become a police officer, you can have the reassurance that you are doing it from a place of inspiration rather than a hidden desire for revenge.

• Not only will this clear up all your violent tendencies, it will transform many other areas of your life too. So if you manage to reach this point, well done, and welcome to a new You :)