I empathize with you Jai because I, too, have found self forgiveness one of the hardest things to do. I do know that until you can really forgive yourself it is hard to move on.

I found it much easier to forgive others and even though I had not committed any horrendous crime, forgiveness for myself did not come easy. It was easy to forgive those adults who I thought had wronged me when I realized that they were doing the best they could with what they knew. I used this same premise when looking to forgive myself because I realized those past mistakes came from past conditioning and until I could shine a light on this conditioning or bring it into my current state of awareness, then I really couldn't have done any differently in the circumstances.

We can only ever act from our current state of awareness and our actions will always reflect where that state of awareness is at. The more we learn and grow on this journey, the more aware we become.

I have found it helpful to look at those past mistakes and realize that I wouldn't be where I am today without them. Accept them for what they are - learning tools on your journey, look at what they taught you and then let them go.

If it helps, ask God or your Higher Self for forgiveness although you really don't have to ask, you're already forgiven - just affirm so, for however long it takes for you to accept it. No matter what has happened know that you're a beautiful person deserving of Love and forgiveness.

You've mentioned a few times on this site about your beautiful experience with an angel. I can't remember the exact details of the experience you mentioned but I'm sure you would have noticed from it that there was no judgement involved with such a genuine non-physical encounter. It would have been an experience of pure love and acceptance.

In fact, you will find this to be true of all genuine non-physical interactions...

Non-physical never judges

Why is this important?

It's important because...

You cannot be forgiven if you haven't been judged

So, if non-physical doesn't judge and so doesn't want your forgiveness, then who does want it?

The only judges that can ever exist are actually yourself, or other people - either directly, or through their convincing of you that you have transgressed some man-made rule or law.

So, ask yourself now, who's opinion do you value more in your life? ...the opinion of moody and inconsistent humans (perhaps even including yourself), who often exist in disconnected states like fear, depression, and hatred, or the opinion of divine consciousness which always pours forth stability, pure love, understanding and acceptance?

I don't think you would be reading this website over any extended period of time if you didn't consider the "opinion" of divine consciousness to be more important.

So why allow the divinity within yourself to be condemned by man-made rules?

Perhaps it's time for you to be a little kinder to yourself and allow yourself to be guided by a higher power than the petty, arbitrary and inconsistent rules of man to which you may have given undue importance in your life up to now?

One final thought...people often think that forgiving and asking forgiveness is about being kind to other people.

But the true spiritual meaning of forgiving and asking forgiveness is actually to be kind to yourself.

Something to think about, maybe?

Ho'oponopono comes to mind for me.

These are said repeatedly to yourself or yourself as that child self.

I Love You, I Am Sorry, Please Forgive Me, I Forgive You, Thank You

This would probably work even more inviting Jesus, The Holy Father and the Holy Spirit to be with you during this time.

With regard to letting go of any unwanted emotions, ALLOWING the feeling will be enough to dissolve it. If you are afraid to face your feelings then call upon the angels to support and guide you. Self forgiveness is a biggie, so it's great that you've arrived at this point of recognition! Your life will change a lot as a result, you will stop attracting punishment and restriction for a start!

P.S. Youtube and the internet is full of various processes for handling and releasing emotions. Search> Bashar,Brad Yates EFT, Eckhart Tolle pain body, Jeshua.net