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hi..questers.. how to identify people? whether they are good / bad? whether they are genuine to us / fake ? not based on our knowledge / experience .cos its limited.., is there any symbol/sign of identifying people..? apart from intuition..cos our intuition says differnt things on differnt times..according to our present thoughts. hope to get ur answers asap... love,light n blessings ur wayy.. supergirl.. :)))
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What is fake, what is genuine? ... :) surely this depends on how we see things, how we perceive through our own mask of reality ... only you can answer this question my friend, and everyone will have a different answer. Glad I finally refreshed my screen - I thought this was a reply to Cal.
(07 Mar '13, 04:31)
ele
@ele- true..everyone has different perspectives ..,thanks fr the answer..
(07 Mar '13, 05:12)
supergirl
@supergirl - I didn't really answer your question & ru bis is very off tonight with his response to your ACTUAL question, IMO. No offense ru - maybe you should channel blu. I agree, everyone has their own unique perception; but it doesn't give you an answer. WT would say experience & enjoy....
(07 Mar '13, 05:20)
ele
1
@ele - yes blu is probably floating around someplace, i should be able to channel him easy enough :) ... by the way over here it's morning time ... as for me being "off" i don't agree i feel rather "on", have fun as blu would say
(07 Mar '13, 06:28)
ru bis
@ele - that's ok my friend, off/on=duality ... all is relative, when we are "on" the same wavelength we feel harmonious, when we feel off, it just means we're each "off" exploring different vibrations :)
(08 Mar '13, 02:47)
ru bis
@ru bis No, you misunderstood - we're good; at least that's how I see it. I said you were off because of how you interpreted the question. If vibes were off or a connection to, it was between you & supergirl. I understand & agree with your answer based on how I 'think' you interpreted her question. I was the first one to vote it up & I don't think you would have received the votes you did had I not objected. Based on your answer; I'm actually very, very surprised to see another answer.
(08 Mar '13, 21:59)
ele
@ele - just as genuine/fake is relative so good/bad is relative, it's the law of duality; everything can be considered positive/neutral/negative following how we perceive things ... nothing has any value except the value that we give it and that value is variably dictated by our unconscious beliefs :)
(09 Mar '13, 03:34)
ru bis
@ru bis I agree. There seems to be a communication error - please, let's clarify. What do you think supergirl's actual question is?
(09 Mar '13, 03:45)
ele
@ru bis You haven't told me anything I don't already know. I agree with everything you said. Not the point.
(09 Mar '13, 04:30)
ele
@ru bis never mind - my error. You clearly state what you think the ? is in the 1st sentence of your answer. If that is her actual ?, how could there ever be an answer to it? It would be like me saying everyone you see who wears a purple polka dot shirt is fake & if they are wearing orange polka dots, they are genuine.
(09 Mar '13, 04:41)
ele
@ru bis lol! I needed that too. Thanks. Before my brain lapse; I also clearly stated that I agreed with you based on the question you thought she asked & why I voted you up. I think you should give her some credit; she knows this too. Supergirl has a bit of a problem expressing herself. From what I've observed; you always connect easily with her & & seem to always understand what she's trying to say.
(09 Mar '13, 05:12)
ele
Was that pity? I thought you would give her a really cool perspective like you normally do.
(09 Mar '13, 05:16)
ele
ru bis I was only 'here' to reply to your comment. I didn't want you to misunderstand something I said elsewhere on this site. Hugs
(09 Mar '13, 05:29)
ele
1
yes @ele true now that you mention it, i do connect easily with supergirl, maybe it's because of the name "supergirl", it excites the imagination ... talking to supergirl makes me feel like "superman" :D
(09 Mar '13, 05:33)
ru bis
@ru bis- darlingg.., thank u so much for the compliment.., i too feel tht connection with u.., hugss--huggs--huggss..:)))
(09 Mar '13, 11:23)
supergirl
@supergirl thanks! I wasn't alone - @wade Casaldi was leaving messages on wrong threads for me to answer last nite & I can't even even remember a convo from the hr before w ru bis - it was like what the ? were we even talking about. I seem to have the attention span of 2 yr old anymore. I can't believe he lets me tag along & never gets too irritated. Good to laugh again. Actually he's a real sweetheart & you're lucky to have his wise counsel.
(09 Mar '13, 17:06)
ele
i love all the hugging @supergirl, hugs, hugs and more hugs :)
(10 Mar '13, 06:51)
ru bis
@supergirl- thanks for your appreciation :)
(17 Mar '13, 04:06)
ru bis
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I believe we've all been genuine, & we've all been fake at sometime in our life. And being able to acknowledge that in myself, I can "identify" it in others too. I love myself unconditionally, & therefore I am not judging myself, nor someone else. Yet I can acknowledge what I see. I choose to be more genuine now, because it expresses me from a higher place of love unconditonally, & I am not seeking approval as much, since I get that from myself... @tommy106- that's what I'm aiming for-to not seek that approval I was so addicted to all my life. It sure makes life interesting with that change going on in me. lol ...and yes, I agree I'm getting it from myself now.
(11 Mar '13, 08:34)
clearheart
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I ask myself the same thing. I think the choice is yours. People can sometimes be fake, not to be fake with you, bc there is a problem, but there lying to themselves, bc there are things they can not look at within themselves. And so if they are avoiding something with themselves, they are not able to be true to you. At least this is what I have come to realize through insightful mediation on a similar topic. @Victtoria Good seeing you around here again.
(10 Mar '13, 06:43)
ele
1
@Victtoria When I resume my 'normal' life again - not too much longer now (fingers crossed) & can focus on IQ & put some coherent thoughts together - I want to go back & answer the question I met you on. I really haven't had time to even read IQ in months & for the most part; only responding to emails. I think you're a great addition to IQ - someone who 'gets' me & I 'think' I 'get' you. At least you have a great sense of humor - common ground.
(11 Mar '13, 02:49)
ele
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I still have many posts to read, however this is close to my heart as I bob and weave the course of mgmt teams at work. I am definitly walking in the right direction of realizing they can't set my course and I'm sure certain times they are both genuine and disengenuous...it's all about the agenda of the moment. And I have to focus on the idea that only things that will help me through this course on earth will be put on my path. In the meantime I will trust me and life and let the feathers fall where they may. And then there's me, at times silent when I disagree...is that being fake or simply letting it go to get some core desire met? @clearheart Very good answer. When you read all the posts, you will see I was talking about you. I couldn't find where you made the comment or I would have said what I did there. As for disingenuous - that's THERE issue; not yours. The more you think about it the more it will affect you (your power).
(11 Mar '13, 03:38)
ele
ele-Yes, so true. We are all doing our best and in the end I believe it's all unfolding perfectly even when I have some fleeting wonder. Later I will have some good time to read and absorb all the good stuff here :)
(11 Mar '13, 04:05)
clearheart
@ele- I have to say I still get a bit lost around here ,however I do have lots of fun ,adventure ,enjoyment and learning here at IQ :)
(11 Mar '13, 04:26)
clearheart
@clearheart- thank u dear fr the wonderful answer..
(11 Mar '13, 06:26)
supergirl
@clearheart - we hug on this thread - a hug! and hugs to all!
(11 Mar '13, 06:47)
ele
@supergirl , you are welcome and thankyou too. @ele, hugs and christmas cards are wonderful :) thankyou.
(11 Mar '13, 08:30)
clearheart
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By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? http://bible.cc/matthew/7-16.htm when they try to make you believe something to hard it is a sign that they are not genuine. Example: some might try to appear rich,wealthy,business maneger etc... If they would really be that why would they try to convince you of what they are? Some one genuine know who he is and as nothing to proove, someone genuine will say i am who i am and i am what i am. If you try so much to know who i am it might be that you want to proove something to your self,so that i tell you who i am or what i am,in that case will not help you at all.Since your mind is set to prouve your self something and your mind is all ready made.Anny thing that you would want to proove your self about me is not from me at all but from your self,and your own concept and perception through your own preconceive moral filter,your own veil that you put in front of your eyes.Then you will deceive your self and blame the person that did not do nothing to receive that blame. Now you can understand this: Then they asked him, "Where is your father?" "You do not know me or my Father," Jesus replied. "If you knew me, you would know my Father also." http://bible.cc/john/8-19.htm also this: Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?" God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.'" http://bible.cc/exodus/3-14.htm One day you can be rich and the next poor,you came naked to this world and you will go naked to the next world. Jesus said, "Do not fret, from morning to evening and from evening to morning, [about your food--what you're going to eat, or about your clothing--] what you are going to wear. [You're much better than the lilies, which neither card nor spin. As for you, when you have no garment, what will you put on? Who might add to your stature? That very one will give you your garment.]" Jesus said, "Why have you come out to the countryside? To see a reed shaken by the wind? And to see a person dressed in soft clothes, [like your] rulers and your powerful ones? They are dressed in soft clothes, and they cannot understand truth." http://gnosis.org/naghamm/gosthom.html Is not someone genuine someone that tell you the truth? and someone fake someone that tell lie to blind you? or someone that is allready blind and lead the blind and both will fall in to a pit. Also, beware, of prophets (people) bearing false gifts. And Action speaks louder than Words. And what you are, speaks so loud, I can't hear you.
(11 Mar '13, 15:54)
Tommy106
why have you come to inward quest to see a reed shaken by the wind?or to see person dressed in soft clothes,like your rulers and your powerfull ones? if you can't hear me and out from your own perception say that i speak to loud is it really my problem?
(12 Mar '13, 07:28)
white tiger
1
hmm. I don't see any dollar signs. I don't know who WT really is; but if my car broke down in his neighborhood; I know he would be the first to assist & I would accept. Heck, I'd even go into his home to use his landline - I'm sure if I needed protection, I'd find a few bibles laying around - I could always thump him. OK WT - the first part, was a compliment & how I feel - the 2nd part is humor.
(14 Mar '13, 22:04)
ele
Well @ele you might be able to understand my silence.
(15 Mar '13, 00:30)
white tiger
1
@white tiger love it! Your comment absolutely had me laughing & laughing. Voting you up. I was certain someone would appreciate & find value in my quotes. They certainly were beneficial to me. Hugs!
(16 Mar '13, 02:36)
ele
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This is trusting your gut instinct. Be aware, of how you feel, fear, worry or something just feels off? You may feel uneasy around this person, notice what you feel. Another way is to ask yourself using muscle testing. You can use your fingers in the OK sign. Try pulling them apart weak is no, strong is yes. Also the leaning test is good. Stand with your feet together and ask a yes or no question. Again weak is no (falling back slightly) and strong is yes (falling forwards slightly.) @wade casaldi- thank u fr the wonderful answer. this is what i was expecting, some sort of signs.
(13 Mar '13, 06:23)
supergirl
@supergirl What did you gf do; you don't have to go into detail. Did you SEE it coming? Have you heard the expression "hindsight is 20-20?" If you look back on what happened; were there any signs? Often times; there's not any. @Wade yes, instincts.
(14 Mar '13, 22:00)
ele
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"our intuition says differnt things on differnt times..according to our present thoughts." Sweetie, that's NOT intuition; that's your mind speaking. Intuition is not telling you two different things. Your conflict is between your heart & your mind.
let them wear a mask and they'll show you their true selves
The truth is the biggest lie. If someone wants to act genuine towards you, it's the biggest mask of them all. It's hardly ever recognized, because it displays exact opposite of all masks.
@CalonLan I know you are a lover of the thoughts of both Osho & blu . I am recycling a quote originally posted by @Blubird two (he prob still subscribes). This is for you also, supergirl. "Remember the emphasis on the heart, the mind lives in doubt and the heart lives in trust. When you trust, suddenly you become centered" - Osho
@ele, go without thinking, and you'll have the best walk of life.
@CalonLan - you & I were discussing trust on another thread & I think @supergirl 's real issue is with trust. This is from the best of @blubird two - read his answer & click on his link. You will find it here http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/15006/is-there-a-hidden-meaning-to-why-everything-in-my-life-is-going-wrong/68835 - ok, I don't have time figure the word/link thingy out. I'll just bring the ? forward - that's easier.
@ele when you're a kid, you think Bugs Bunny is important, then you go to school and consider grades important only to learn when you get your first your job that grades weren't, it's money. Somewhat later you realize money is BS, and will go on to find yet another object of importance for yourself. Always looking for something to "trust" that this or that is the real thing that matters.
Why not save yourself trouble now, step out of the circle of pursuing something to trust and be in now...
..the moment you can give into fully only when there's nothing else on your mind. No thoughts of importance bothering you. Everything is a joke. Laugh about it.
@CalonLan You missed the whole point. You don't trust yourself. You don't have confidence in YOU. You can't trust anyone or anything until you trust yourself - same with love. You can't give what you don't have. It's all within.
@ele and I said there's nothing to be trusted. not even ourselves.
@ele, and ah "love" - Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself. Although, only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. ~ Matrix
@Cal tell our hearts this. Your ego kinda speaks for itself. No that's an illusion - you're no narcissist. I should have went with my first thought at the very beginning of this convo - clouds.
@ele, heart follows senses. just like cells of your body provide sense - touching, smelling, hearing, seeing,.. your mind provides sense of thinking. When you feel the wind touching your skin, you also sense it through mind in form of thoughts.
Just observe it, if light breeze touches you, perhaps you don't even notice, as other senses are overpowered. Perhaps you're thinking of today's dinner. But if an Arctic storm hit you, your mind would stop thinking about the dinner, and ...
...it would sense the storm in form of thoughts of it. Mind can divert your attention or strengthen it. Heart only multiplies it.
Being in now is not really turning your mind off. It's only that mind steps back and supports other senses which cannot escape the present moment like mind could. (You can't smell future, nor the past - for example) and it strengthen these sense, thus the experience of now.
And heart just follow what senses, either of thought, or smell, or taste,or seeing tells it
YOU can feel w/o thinking - goosebumps are an example for your light breeze example & an unconscious person would still feel the storm! Your intuition (point of this discussion is ALL about feelings). The mind lies; not the heart & the heart, mind & intuition are separate things.
@ele, honestly I don't stretch myself so far out in thinking any more. I used to and, well, I found I'm not missing out anything if I don't. I'd rather have much simpler life, than trying to think of the difference and depths of mind, heart and intuition.
"I'm contemplating thinking about thinking. It's overrated, just get another drink in", yay tequilla.
@ele n @calonLan- fantastic conversation.., and ur are right @ele.., my issue is with trust. i don't trust anyone easily. i need to know a lot about the person or should have long term friendship..otherwise my mind strts doubting. thts y i asked this question. basically, cos i had few of such experiences where,i failed to recognise a person.
... perhaps,once who seemed like a best friend ..,cheated me after few days. i was always good with her n thought gud of her. thts y now i think twice before trusting anyone..
@supergirl - BF, it was a co-creation - but - you're NOT responsible for what anyone else does. You are responsible for how you let it affect you. I guess you are still allowing her to have power over you. Get your power back or what happened will color your experiences from now on. You were powerful enough to create an non trusty persona; you have the power to create trust. Change your perception - thoughts - see the world through different eyes & your view will change.
@Cal - "thinking" - did I hear you correctly - it's best to be simple minded like me? love it! I agree, I would rather feel than think.. Thinkin' tends to be over rated - I'm more of touchy feely person & I trust my feelings more than I would ever trust my thoughts.
@ele- yh..m changing my perceptions now..
@ele, yes I said it, thinking stinks. And the most absurd thing about it all is that mind's only able to solve problems it has created for itself in the first place.
@CalonLan The question of whether or not there is a God or truth or reality, or whatever you like to call it, can never be answered by books, by priests, philosophers or saviours. Nobody and nothing can answer the question but you yourself and that is why you must know yourself. Immaturity lies only in total ignorance of self. To understand yourself is the beginning of wisdom. - Freedom from the Known,12 Jiddu Krishnamurti.....
...You work hard for your daily living, you spend years at the whole business of being bossed around in order to earn a livelihood, swallowing the insults, the discomforts, the indignity, the sycophancy. But to work so that the mind is free is much more arduous; it requires great insight, great comprehension, an extensive awareness in which the mind knows all its impediments, its blockages, its movements of self-deception, its fantasies, its illusions, its myths...
... Once the mind is free, it can begin to investigate, to search out, but for a mind to seek when it is not free has no meaning. Do you understand? The mind which would find truth, God, this extraordinary beauty and depth of life, the fullness of love, must first be free. It has no meaning for a mind that is shaped, conditioned, held within the boundaries of tradition, to say, 'I am seeking truth, God.' ...
...Such a mind is like a donkey tethered to a post: it cannot wander further than the length of its rope. Jiddu Krishnamurti I find a lot of insight in Krishnamurti writings ..http://www.jkrishnamurti.org/about-krishnamurti/biography.php the daily quotes are always food for thought
@CalonLan I agree. Absurd!
@ursixx- thank u.., very well explained..
@ursixx Odd you mention Sycophant. Another user (new) mentioned how fascinating the psychology of flattery is & how it works at her place of employment. Since then I've hesitated to compliment her. At Christmas I was going to gift her a few hundred Karma points, then I read what she wrote. Any Sycophant's here?
Don't you think this fits in very nicely with supergirl's question. How would supergirl know if it was fake or genuine?
@ele- what is psycology of flattery? i wanna know abt it..
@supergirl - when someone flatters you with the intention of personal gain.
@ele- thank u ele..:)), love,light n blessings ur wayy..
@supergirl - I'm going to answer my own question. It really makes no difference whatsoever whether flattery is genuine or fake, sincere or insincere. Actually everyone does it all the time; a compliment is the quickest way to make a new friend. Accept the compliment as if it genuine. You are under no obligation to do anything other than smile & say thank you. It's only an issue if the other person expects something in return & uses excessive compliments or tries to 'sweet talk' you into ..
... into doing something you wouldn't of done on your own. It's not anything you should be concerned about. I said what I did to tease @ursixx - an inside joke; that went south fast. Please don't look for ulterior motives when you receive a compliment - just savor & enjoy. BTW, Nikulas was right - best user name ever! With love, ele - hugs! Ps - as a general rule, most compliments are genuine.
@ele I actually missed the sycophant bit in the quote when I copy and pasted.Had to google it when you referred to it in your other comment. :/ and I agree with your answer
@ursixx haha... so that's why you don't recognize a smart savvy sycophant when you see her.
@ele - I love what you say about compliments.
@ele Im gonna go Kierkegaard on you now “Once you label me, you negate me” or maybe Johnny said it better http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28A9Jgo92GQ
@ursixx You got me. Your too deep tonight. Literally or figuratively? Do I take the meaning in Kierkegaard's quote or the hidden message in Dirty Dancing? I'm confused. If the 2nd - point taken; but it's complicated - if it's the 1st, irony/satire. Has to be the second - you're the funny guy.
@clearheart Thanks. In RL, when I send Christmas cards; I intentionally send the cards late. I always write "May Christmas Blessings Abound" with next year's date & tell everyone I'm mailing early this year. I'm a bit late with your card.
@ursixx I'm sure glad I didn't turn this laptop off. hahaha! I get it now - STALKER. Mazes - puzzles - labels... Very, very Funny! Laughing all the way to dreamland... and hopefully throughout. Note to self - either glasses or increase font. Were you planning another swoop & save? Yea, I could have got kicked & broke my addiction once & for all..
Ah compliments,..of course..."yes, I love that spotlight too! Yes I crave acclaim! I’ll admit I love the sound when strangers scream my name. All that glitz and glamour, they’re all right no doubt. But what are you left with when the lights go out?" =)
@CalonLan you are too too funny & there is nothing fake about you - you are the real deal. Nite!
@ele the only real thing about me is that I'm all fake. haha. Nite.
@CalonLan - you are one of the most fascinating people on IQ. You are a REAL drama queen & I love ya. Hugs! absolutely going - gone.....
@ele, crazy, in a way. Haha! I know that you know how to pat my ego, and you're just doing that..so obviously...yet I'm not even trying to hide or run away from the fact that this is what I'm here for.
In these dreams I've loved you so. That by now I think I know. What it's like to be loved by you, I will love being loved by you... I have dreamed and enjoyed the view.
Nn. =)
@CalonLan A man in a mask fascinates me. Mysterious yet familiar. I appreciate a brilliant mind. I love musical theater. Your characters illicit emotion, introspection, reflection & imagination. Like the written words on IQ, art & music are open to interpretation. Entertainment is purely subjective & some consider drama pure FICTION & don't see the depth & beauty in motion; 'flow'. Ever changing, with twists, turns, connections, circles; as is life. Drama changes as desires & dreams do.
@CalonLan It's up to you whether you decide to take off your mask or dun a new one. If you decision is the first; you'll have an undivided "interacting" audience; you'll no longer be a one man show. If the second, I'll still applaud w/ BOTH hands. Honestly, at times, you just don't make sense to me & the thought of 'shoveling' $h!t makes me laugh. If I view you're character as 'mean', I know you wish 'tomatoes', but I'm going to open a window to another reality.
@CalonLan (Dreamed) Love, it! Sweet laughter. Thanks for sharing your personal lullaby. "I know that you know how to pat my ego" 'pat' - to caress, to stroke, fondle , pet, to encourage, to bring out, to enlarge, to engorge (btw, still talking about your ego), to flatter or pay attention to in a matter designed to reassure or persuade. You're anonymous & you are safe here. Yes, classic Lun is great; but you're destined to be Babs
@CalonLan We kiss in a shadow. We hide from the moon. Our meetings are few. And over too soon.
@ursixx :/ I know what the emoticon means; but don't understand what you meant. It's ok..
@ele sorry now that went over my head ,wrong place for this comment maaaaybe ..... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emoticons
@ursixx thanks for the link . . . not necessary. As I said, I know what the emoticon means. I also said it was ok.
@ele dooh ,it was me that did connect the dots...
@ursixx I knew what you were referring to in regards to wrong thread - that wasn't my original question. It doesn't really matter - we're good & some things are best understood & left unsaid. As for wrong thread - I knew that. I couldn't figure out why you asking about labels on the wrong thread. I made something very simple way too complex & still don't get the analogy; which of course was the point.
@ele should've been a :$ instead of :/ .and.. I try not to judge so I wouldn't label you anything or put you in a corner <3