Does something bad happen after you have a really good feeling... every time? Think of the times when you've felt really good and nothing bad happened afterward. I bet you can.

Now I don't know if what I'm about to say has anything to do with you or not. I don't know you. I'm only offering it as food for thought. If it does not ring a bell, ignore it as the ramblings of a demented mind. ;-)

Feeling good is your natural heritage. Your natural state. Anything less than feeling good is the result of beliefs you've picked up along the way that will play themselves out in your life. In this case, what you've described sounds like something quite common. An example is when you decide you like a particular kind of car. This means your mind is very tuned into that kind of car. Very aware of it. Suddenly they're everywhere you turn.

Human beings are quite aware of the importance of "meaning". We search for it. When something happens that we don't understand, we search for some kind of meaning in order to make sense of it. We even do this unconsciously.

You have also mentioned an abusive parent. There may have been times as a child when you did something that made you feel good only to have that parent or someone else come along and punish you. That would be an example of feeling really good and then the bad thing happens soon afterward.

So here you are today, feeling really good. Then the bad thing happens and your mind begins searching for the meaning behind the bad thing. Why did it happen? What does it mean? What caused it? In our search, we always search for cause and effect. So your mind searches for the cause.

If it happens enough times and you think about it enough, some part of you might remember that you were punished when you did something that made you feel good. Maybe some part of you believes feeling good deserves to be punished. So your mind looks for any kind of connection between feeling good and the bad events and it thinks it has found one. When you feel good, something bad happens. Why? Because feeling good deserves to be punished. You don't know why it deserves to be punished. But then you didn't understand as a child either. It just happened.

So your first question... "Is there any way to be overly happy/positive without this happening?" Like I said in the beginning, think of those times when you've felt really good and nothing bad happened. Like feeling really good two times in a row with no really bad thing happening in between. There... you did it. So the answer is "Yes, there is a way to be overly happy/positive without this happening."

Your second question... "Am I attracting this because I believe it to be?" That is something you may want to explorer with yourself. Because if you do believe this, and you believe it deeply enough within, it will play itself out because like attracts like and your outer life will reflect your inner being or beliefs.

So ask yourself this question... "How do I feel when I think this thought?" Does it feel true? And this will take a very special kind of honesty with yourself, but a very safe kind of honesty. "Feel it". Think the question, "Am I attracting this because I believe it to be?" and "Feel" the answer. Do not think it. Feel it. And your feelings will tell you if you believe it. Asking yourself the question "How do I feel when I think this thought?" focuses your mind on the feeling and you will get a sense that it's either true and playing itself out for you, or you will get a sense that the thought is without power. Silly. Useless. You'll feel an emptiness or quietness. A stillness. No connection to the thought. This is how you will know.

And your third question... "Or is this about some Positive/Negative balance that I need to keep?" Many will call it Karma. And there is some validity to it. But only in the sense that there is something inside of you keeping score. That is what Karma is. One's own psyche keeping score. Not some outside intelligence with a book of the record of your life. It all happens within your own mind and heart.

But then we were built this way on purpose. This way Source, or God, or the Universe or whatever you call it does not have to have an opinion about how good or bad you've been. It can remain as it is. Perfect and loving in this moment. Eternal and infinite. The Source of all that is. The Creator. Pure Love always supporting your existence and your freedom of choice.

And your Karma? That will forever remain your responsibility. You will punish yourself if you believe you deserve it. And you will reward yourself if you believe you deserve that too. So the task of cleaning up your beliefs is up to you. Do you want to believe that you must constantly be vigilant and maintain some imaginary "Positive/Negative balance"?, or would you rather simply live simply happy? Does bad stuff happen to good people? Yes. And good stuff even happens to bad people.

Do you want to live your life worried if you've balanced the scale every day? Or would you rather trust that the good will show up at the perfect time and when the bad comes around, you'll be able to handle it because you've decided you're strong enough and smart enough? I tell you this... one good belief to have is that the Universe is Totally on your side, wanting for you everything you want for yourself. Because it's true.

And know this too... you will be the only one who will keep your good from you if you believe you don't deserve it. Source has nothing to do with this. After Source's act of creating you, it's all you. Source simply Loves you by supporting your existence, allowing you to choose and fulfilling your deepest beliefs and desires.

And lastly, if you do have some beliefs that are not serving your highest good, there are ways to deal with them very simply and quickly. But like leading a horse to water. You must "want" to drink. ;)

Blessings my friend.