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Okay, basically this is the deal. I do not like my life. I want to have a life that I actually like. I have been essentially unhappy for way too long. That doesn't mean I never feel good, I do. That doesn't mean I am always in pain, I'm not. It simply means I am not happy. I might feel good, but not about my life. Basically the things that make me feel good or even just not feel bad are things that distract me from my life. A movie, a game, a fantasy, if they grab me enough that I forget "where I am". Even a thought, like: "What the hell do the japanese think they are doing running up a 200% debt to gdp ratio like that?" which then turns into a fantasy of "What would I do to fix the situation if I was the emperor of Japan?". I wanted to "fix" things, to build a life I liked and get away from the things I dislike. That is why I talked so much about growing taller, it was a key element in the only way I could see to "fix" it; becoming a model (please, no "why don't you try being a hand model?" comments) was the only thing that just felt right to me. Now the (unproductive) effort to fix things has been assimilated into the identity of this life I don't like; it doesn't help me get relief. There is this thing in my chest/throat that says I can't handle much more of this; maybe more importantly, I don't want to handle any more of this. I don't want to keep trying because to me that feels exactly the same as remaining stuck. I have been trying all my life, trust me, this is not where I planned to be. Things went wrong on a lot of levels. I made a lot of mistakes, people around me made mistakes and things just... well they evolved into the current situation. I don't have to deal with the height thing right now. But I do need to deal with the core issues. The height thing was the only path I could see but it doesn't have to be that way, there just needs to be some way, right now. I'm going to try and make this simple. I value independence. Right now, I live in my mother's basement, I don't have a car (or a driver's license), I don't have friends, I don't study or work. I have never even kissed a girl and I'm nearing 30. I feel very isolated and dependent. I want to be able to travel. I want to live "on my own". I want to be able to eat at McDonalds and not feel like I just spent a fortune I couldn't afford to waste. I'm not qualified for the job market at all. That is, I am not qualified to work at McDonald's or as a garbage collector. Both jobs I wouldn't do anyway as they can't buy me an even remotely good life. I have no "special" skills that could get me a non-traditional job. I don't have any business that calls to me and the ones I tried forcing myself to go into, made me realize I'm a very bad slave/slave-driver. So maybe that helps put the fact that I can't see a path into perspective. I'm not asking how to manifest a red sports car right now. I'm asking how to manifest -a path- to a red sports car right now. Because it's very hard right now for me not to slip into serious depression. I get myself into feeling better but I feel like the guy Esther talks about, who asks "Abraham, I just jumped out of an airplane with no parachute, what do I do?". Abraham's answer is "Hang on, it'll be over in a little while". It just seems like the force of gravity is stronger than anything I can do against it at this point, it feels like this life cannot be healed. I have immense resistance against suicide but I keep thinking about it and it sort of gives me a kind of relief, a feeling that if I can't heal this life, I can at least be free of it; the idea gives me a feeling of control. Lately I've been very angry, irritable (as @ele has likely noticed). Part of this is because a lot of the major things that landed me where I am I feel weren't my fault; maybe they were in a vibrational sense but not in the conventional cause and effect sense. Because I have been feeling impotent to fix the damage those things caused, I am having a very hard time not hating people. Heck, I even hate myself for the things that I am clearly responsible for. I'm having a hard time convincing myself I shouldn't hate. I realize there is no actual point in hurting anyone, that there is no one to fight against, but the "fight defense" trigger in my brain is still active. If you have ideas, please share. I'm not doing well at aligning with a path. I'm sorry for asking yet another question. I need to find a way to make the path "light up" as Abraham puts it.
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I think you're just trying too hard to make things happen in your life, much too hard. It's not your job to make anything happen...not even to manifest a happy path. It's only your job to find ways to feel better daily and let the Universe handle everything else. Best quote I've heard from Abraham in recent years...
You've spoken about how our vibration on a topic stays where we leave it. If I make myself feel "better" without being specific, won't that keep me unaligned? I remember going through periods of feeling better and (by coincidence or not) having people pay for things for me, give me gifts, etc; then finding myself far out of the vortex as the realization that I was still deeply dependent grew on me, that I couldn't do what I wanted but had to go with the flow as determined by others.
(09 Nov '13, 07:32)
flowsurfer
That "happy" dependence just became very uncomfortable without a path leading to independence showing up. So how do I find alignment with "independence"? How do I feel better about this? Because I have noticed that just "feeling better" in my case has an avoidant quality to it.
(09 Nov '13, 07:33)
flowsurfer
Me trying to "make things happen" in my life is just me trying to align with a sense of independence, a sense of freedom. A sense of "creative activity" as opposed to "meaningless doing". I've noticed a lot of things become "meaningless doing" when deprived of proper context. Something as simple as doing push-ups made me feel better in a "creative activity" sense but now make me feel worse in a "meaningless doing" sense. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I don't understand.
(09 Nov '13, 07:49)
flowsurfer
@flowsurfer - Genuinely "feeling good" brings a sense of self-empowerment and independence with it. If your version of "feeling good" doesn't do that for you then it's not what me and others mean by "feeling good". See the hammer-hitting the-head analogy.
(10 Nov '13, 05:05)
Stingray
@flowsurfer - "You've spoken about how our vibration on a topic stays where we leave it. If I make myself feel "better" without being specific, won't that keep me unaligned?" - Staying in a general place isn't your final goal. You are getting general to get back a sense of "connection". Once you have regained that "connection", you now (taking it with you) start to get more specific again to end up in a permanently better-feeling place on the topic.
(10 Nov '13, 05:36)
Stingray
It does bring a sense of self-empowerment and independence. However, not being able to properly express that makes me notice the contrast between that sense and the actual lack of empowerment and dependence. I get the "motivation" so to speak to handle specific issues but I don't see the way to handle them. As a result, I remain "passive", so to speak, instead of making creative choices. That builds up tension until I'm thrown out of "the vortex". I hit into too many brick walls.
(10 Nov '13, 22:12)
flowsurfer
@flowsuerfer, I don't know if this helps at all, but I have noticed that the higher my vibration gets and the more aligned I am, the LESS I feel that I need to take action to make stuff happen, or even to get happy. It seems to me that "Action Mind" is the mindset of being in lower vibrations, and "Flowing Mind" is the mind of higher vibrations. Of course, those words, which make perfect sense when I'm happy, sound like "blah blah blah" when I'm gloomy, and like an idea I can't trust, hah!
(14 Nov '13, 14:24)
corduroypower
I'm not talking about taking action to make things happen, I'm talking about being empowered to make choices.
(20 Nov '13, 17:05)
flowsurfer
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I do have an idea Flowey. Maybe it would be an idea to take on a menial job role " temporarily". Im sure your destined for better things than flipping patties at a Mcdonalds. But I do personally know people, one in particular, who started his career there and is now wealthy. Don't discount a menial role, it would give you an income and a platform to launch off into better things. The amount of life stories where people started on the shop floor and ended up buying the company are numerous. Your an intelligent guy Flowey, you would doubtless soon be promoted and start up the ladder. But the ladder wont start until you get on the first step. It may well be that at a place of work you may meet a life partner, this too is a story told and experienced by many people. You need to get out of the basement, physically and metaphorically , and when you do and your minds occupied you may well begin to accidentally manifest more than you've ever done intentionally. Menial concentrating work is often the very best way of true meditation, it can clear the mind of its insane chatter and clear the way for a massive manifestation. I appreciate your input. These are certainly things I have thought about. But no.
(09 Nov '13, 19:22)
flowsurfer
If the income this provided me wasn't so pathetic maybe I wouldn't be so resistant to it. But it is. Even if McDonald's didn't specifically ask entry level workers to be 6 years younger than I am and I had the minimum schooling they demand, they pay about $300 a month. Prostitution would be more rewarding and less humiliating.
(09 Nov '13, 21:04)
flowsurfer
The idea makes my blood boil with anger.
(09 Nov '13, 21:08)
flowsurfer
I realize there is the whole "climb the ladder" carrot thing, that I don't necessarily need to stay in that role for the rest of my life. But it's just not a ladder I want to climb. I don't want even the fairy tale version of this path. It's just wrong (for me).
(09 Nov '13, 21:12)
flowsurfer
I have certainly considered something like this. I managed to pump myself up enough to feel good about the idea a few times, for like, ten minutes. Being completely honest with myself, I would with 100% certainty walk out or kill someone within a day or two of this kind of work. I'm not sure which is more likely. I would feel so completely humiliated by it that I would snap. It's not safe.
(09 Nov '13, 21:25)
flowsurfer
I wasn't really going to "argue" about this, I was just going to stick with the "No". But seriously entertaining the idea made me feel worse and I had to "release" some of that negativity. I realize your intentions are good and I do appreciate it. It's just not my path.
(09 Nov '13, 21:35)
flowsurfer
Ok Flowey, the starting off from the bottoms out....got that one load and clear. So whats your plan then? Your an interesting individual Flowey, I now know a little about where you are in your life, which is good. Now I also know that any menial work isn't what you want. So what is your long term plan for getting out of the basement and into what you want? Are you going to sit where you are and use "purely" spiritual/metaphysical means to dig yourself out.
(10 Nov '13, 04:52)
Monty Riviera
Or get some sort of skill and qualification and use that. Or a mixture of 3 dimensional doing and 4 dimensional believing/allowing. Keep me posted Flowey, your obviously a well educated individual and your input into this site is very worthwhile. Even when your arguing your limitations ( which you do a lot ) the posts you take part in are leaving a lasting rich vein of quality information for others to get great benefit from.
(10 Nov '13, 04:58)
Monty Riviera
I feel people like you , and by that I mean really "HONEST" individuals , make this site what it is. You don't post to earn karma points, you don't ask and post banal meaningless drivel ( and that's only my personal opinion ) your questions and heartfelt statements are things we all contend with. You've got the honesty to just come out with them and bring them to the surface. Your posts seem to have more comments attached than anyone elses!
(10 Nov '13, 05:02)
Monty Riviera
As the question indicates, I don't know.
(10 Nov '13, 21:58)
flowsurfer
@Monty "Menial concentrating work is often the very best way of true meditation, it can clear the mind of its insane chatter and clear the way for a massive manifestation." Couldn't agree more.
(11 Nov '13, 00:08)
ele
I already do "menial concentrating work". It's called "gaming". I don't get paid anything but I also don't feel humiliated by it. While it definitely helps "clear the mind of its insane chatter" I'm sorry to say it hasn't "cleared the way for a massive manifestation" yet. The financial situation in my family is not good at all. If I don't find a way to be independent of their support within a couple of months things will go from bad to unbearable. I don't know what to do.
(11 Nov '13, 09:45)
flowsurfer
I can't handle this. Here is the plan: I'm going to grow about 6-7 inches by January 1st, 2014. Then I'm going to build a modeling career. If not, I'm going to kill myself. Done. I didn't write this as a threat or to make anyone feel sorry for me, I wrote it to feel relief. Just writing that eased a lot of the pain. I don't know how I'll be emotionally as I approach January 1st but right now, this is helping me feel much better.
(11 Nov '13, 10:06)
flowsurfer
Didn't notice your comment before the back and forth above. Flow. Some of us have set ultimatums and deadlines before. This isn't the right way to do anything, even if it is possible throwing yourself under the gun if your results are unsatisfactory isn't a viable reaction. I'd have to see your stature to be able to make any kind of offers of results, and wouldn't begin to claim any guarantees because you're kinda setting the stakes unfairly in multiple ways. If you genuinely want to~
(11 Nov '13, 12:55)
Snow
[...] become notably taller, more-so than most would believe is possible, I'll walk you through everything you have to do. But even if you followed my instructions to the T January is unreasonable. You'd have to work at it, it's a process, and one I don't think you appreciate the intensity of. Even if I suggested 4" were possible it'd take TIME man. Workout plans just losing weight start out at 90 days at a rapid estimate. You give me a year I guarantee results, both in height and in being~
(11 Nov '13, 12:58)
Snow
[..] more suitable aesthetically for modeling. But I couldn't even start to work with you if you're holding threats like this over the head of results you deem insufficient. I'll also note the height requirements for models are almost exclusively for runway and certain types of event shows. There are many models male and female who are not exceptionally tall. Both of your requests are extreme, but you're making them unreasonably so, both in time and conditions. I'd like to work with you~
(11 Nov '13, 13:01)
Snow
In general towards the ends of you improving your satisfaction with life, your height and appearance, your ability to function in normal jobs (almost all models except for the absolute most successful work other jobs too, you can't expect to bypass them without dedication and effort like they invest), and more. But not if you're going into any of it with the stance "If things don't work out as I like I'ma just kill myself." And not if you're setting deadlines of any variety.. it all takes time
(11 Nov '13, 13:03)
Snow
It has taken too much time already. I'm not 18 anymore. If there was an exercise routine to grow to the height I want, I would not have even joined this site, I would have simply done it. If you are going to tell me about some lame posture exercise I can do for a couple of years to maybe, if I'm lucky, be 2 inches taller by the time I'm 30, at which point I'm the tallest I'll ever be, don't bother. Growing taller is not an item on a list. I'm not trying to get more points on the height score.
(11 Nov '13, 13:28)
flowsurfer
For starters, 2" is a huge amount to grow as it is. Don't be unreasonable. Next, I'd even go so far as to say more than that IS possible, but to what extent depends on the individual. No, I have an entire list of MANY lame exercises, and you'd have to do them all to expect results like you're demanding. Simple posture stuff gets strong results for just about anyone but that's child's play compared to what you're asking and it's already beyond average Joes. I have more reply, in email.
(11 Nov '13, 13:33)
Snow
Why shouldn't I be unreasonable? Let me put it this way. What is my reward from being reasonable? In specific terms, let's go crazy and say it is reasonable to think I could grow 4 inches if I work at it for 2 years. Let's even go really crazy and say it's guaranteed. How much do you think I value that result at this point in my life? When the best case scenario is not good enough, there isn't much point sticking to that strategy is there?
(11 Nov '13, 14:04)
flowsurfer
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Ive just re read the comment where you promised a height increase or suicide. And the subsequent statement that that statement "eased a lot of the pain" ive noticed that too in my life. You do have the tools to make yourself better Flowey. You've proved that you do have control, you've used a simple statement and have gotten some relief. Keep giving yourself that "relief" and who knows what may happen.
(24 Nov '13, 03:53)
Monty Riviera
That is not control. It is a very short term hack, like closing your eyes to avoid seeing something you don't want to see, even though it is right in your face. I have been distracting myself all I can to not feel despair. But I don't actually care about the things through which I distract myself. I very much want to not be a victim, to actually be in control of my life. If I can't grow, I can pretend I'm not a victim all day long, but I am, and I know that I am. So where does that lead?
(25 Nov '13, 00:14)
flowsurfer
@flow What is the deal with not having the minimum amt of ed to work at Micky D's? In the US, they don't require even a GED. You don't need any special training unless you're after a higher end position. In the US, you can choose the no. of hrs you want to work. They are very accommodating; they have 4 hour shifts. Lots of retired ppl & stay at home moms work 4 hr shifts & they accommodate their schedules. I know it's not your thing - thought I would mention it for the benefit of others.
(27 Nov '13, 07:50)
ele
@Monty I thought it was a great idea too ... @flow is destined for bigger & better things. Nothing wrong with working at a fast food place for a couple hrs a few days a week. Meet ppl & get out of the "basement" too. Being bilingual would prob put him in a customer service position immediately. With his English skills he won't have any trouble finding work - good paying jobs - an exciting career. All kinds of businesses are looking for guys like him. What would you like to do @flow?
(27 Nov '13, 07:59)
ele
There is a metaphysical reason too ele, the times ive really manifested something big has allways been when ive " detached" from the outcome. I'll be honest here, I rubbish at detaching deliberately , I read all the Stingray stuff but don't bother with it enough...BUT... I often get so busy at work, or with other issues that I accidentally DETATCH from the outcome and bingo....I get a manifestation. If Flowey had something to absorb him and get him away from his issues
(27 Nov '13, 10:42)
Monty Riviera
Then he may well end up manifesting more by " accident" than he ever has on purpose. My job does this for me, and the fact ive given up a job with more status and now do something very menial, but that requires concentration, will doubtless pave the way for a spectacular manifestation. A job may well end up being a tool to a higher end for Flowey. His English is frankly better than mine ele , he communicates so well. Hes a success story waiting to happen.
(27 Nov '13, 10:46)
Monty Riviera
There is a rule in my head that says "I do not wish to provide value to other human beings because I do not think they deserve it.". This means I am not willing to do any work that I do not find inherently satisfying. This is not a superficial thing, it has very deep roots, it is not going away. I realize this makes me somewhat abnormal and limits my ability to survive. Working at McDonalds is simply not an option, for both practical and psychological reasons. I rather be a bank robber.
(27 Nov '13, 16:25)
flowsurfer
Flowey, don't blame you mate. I think the same way, you don't have to provide "value" . Some people I know don't deserve the steam of my....... on a cold day....(better not say the last word ) :) Im not trying to get you into a job you hate, ive had experience with that....not good. If I decide to do a bank i'll let you know.
(28 Nov '13, 10:56)
Monty Riviera
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Get rid of the don't and can't because whatever you resist persist. I was where you are and your troubles are actually miniscule to the Universe they only exist in your head. It takes as long as you will it to take, to get better and have everything you do want. Believe me I am still resisting some concepts of this only due to false beliefs. Once you get this you will be free like me I now handle things with a positive flow most of the time. The panic has lessened unbelievable but true. Trust me I can still be where you are at times but much less. Try it with one little thing that will improve anything and concentrate on that till it gets done. I always keep my biggest dream always on the forefront because my dream is like a grain of sand to the Unlimited Universe. Being grateful for anything will also get me up there are so many tools so simple to use at our fingertips. I hope this at least made you smile and put some hope in your life. Have faith my friend you are all you need to be to have, be or do whatever your heart desires. Love & Light :) Dee "Try it with one little thing that will improve anything and concentrate on that till it gets done." Like what?
(10 Nov '13, 22:30)
flowsurfer
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For me I started with spending more quality time with my children and made a very small manageable daily list of things I usually would put off. Once I got in motion I started to enjoy it so much I kept in motion and I added: to do one random act of kindness and two things that I didn't want to do on my daily list. At the end of my days I get so encouraged by what I actually got done. I found that keeping busy doing what I love I am not thinking of what I thought I lacked anymore.
(10 Nov '13, 22:43)
petitesweetyme
@petitesweetyme I hope @flowsurfer takes the above comment to heart. Very easy to do things when they're on a list. But also very powerful tool! Of all the things written on IQ flow. start with this! ! Add some constructive structure to your daily life.
(12 Nov '13, 02:22)
ursixx
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I think the below is what you need to start understanding and I am quoting it because I cannot say it any better myself:
We all have problems of our own, yours are just different from other people's and we all tend to make them a big deal in our lives. For example, from my point of view, none of the things you have listed in your question come close to issues that other people I know have had to deal with and they have still managed to get out of those situations. But, the positive changes will start to happen when you realise that you cannot think about what is going wrong and expect things to get better, your attitude has to change first. I can assure you that I have tried that approach and it did not help. I'm not sure I can quite communicate the sense of despair that comes from trying to focus on positive things.
(24 Nov '13, 15:50)
flowsurfer
Great quote @Pink Diamond Good to see you around again..
(25 Nov '13, 06:44)
ele
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Hiya, Flowsurfer, I guess I feel your pain very deeply because I struggled in my teens and twenties with a lot of similar issues- I hated my body, I did not know "what I wanted to be when I grew up"- and I hurt. Badly. I felt so very alone, so very isolated, especially since by 25, I had three toddlers and by 30, 4 kids ages 10 to 1. But count your blessings on that one! At least you do not have to support a family. You have choices. It may not seem so, but you do. The first choice you have is this: you get to choose your attitude. Keep that idea in mind while I paraphrase the first three 12 steps of AA just for you- these steps may be just the thing you need to get you on the way to happiness. Remember, they are not meant to be done all in one day! This is a plan for living. Here we go:
Now, if you are agnostic or atheist, please just set aside those feelings, and any feelings of rebelling at this point. Just accept, accept, accept that you cannot handle the pain, and that you will do anything to make it stop. Try these first three steps of the AA 12-step program. They have helped literally millions of people worldwide much happier, better people. Now, back to that choice about attitude. I am going to demand that you try,for one day, to be NOTHING BUT GRATEFUL> I had a friend who was given this assignment, and she felt she had nothing to be grateful for, but she was where you are, so she followed directions. She got up in the morning, and asked herself, "What do I have to be grateful for in my life?' At the time, she was changing her son's diapers, and she was pressing the tapes of the Pampers when she said to herself, "I am grateful for my thumbs, for if I did not have them, I would not be able to change my baby's diapers." She giggled a little to herself, but that was the first thing. A change came over her heart. She looked out her kitchen window, and saw blue sky. She thanked God for a sunny day. It started to snowball in her mind, like a game. She was grateful for her remote for her TV so she did not have to walk while holding her kids. She was grateful for the mail, coming every weekday. She suddenly realized that she was beginning to feel different. Better. Her name was Viki B. She was a dear friend who died of cancer, but she taught me Gratitude with a Big "G". If you "get" some gratitude, you will be home free, kiddo! Try this. It will work. I know. I have been trying to do it for nearly thirty-three years . "It is not happiness that makes us grateful- it is gratitude which makes us happy." Love you, Jai ♥ I've "done" that. It "works" up until I hit into major envy. Basically the thought process that happens is that I feel "inferior" being grateful for something less than my ideal when confronted with the fact that other people have my ideal. Something goes off within and says, without words: "Stop it! This is Stockholm Syndrome! You deserve better!". In other words, I feel like a hostage being grateful for being allowed to eat.
(10 Nov '13, 22:22)
flowsurfer
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@flowsurfer - I think you have hit on a perfect example of why I like to think in terms of appreciation rather than gratitude. To me, the word "gratitude" carries with it an element of neediness and inferiority that counteract the high vibration that I am after. As our @Stingray suggested in the link below, try noticing how you feel when saying those words...
(26 Nov '13, 12:47)
Grace
...I go with the one that makes me feel better. :) http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/7124/gratitude-vs-appreciation-differences-contradictions/7126
(26 Nov '13, 12:47)
Grace
Hum... that is an interesting point Grace. The words do feel different.
(26 Nov '13, 12:52)
flowsurfer
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Appreciation is saying "this is something I like". Gratitude is saying "this is even better than what I deserve".
(26 Nov '13, 12:55)
flowsurfer
1
@flowsurfer - Yes, exactly. And the more you focus on what you like, the more you start seeing more of what you like. It helps me a lot. When I hear myself say "I'm grateful.", it is automatically followed up in my head with "I'm not worthy." Ugh. That is not where I want to go. It is a fine distinction, but to me an important one.
(26 Nov '13, 13:11)
Grace
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Right now unfortunately you are kind of stuck in a place where its hard to see the light properly. Its not easy at all for sure. So i do understand. Its like how Abraham Hicks says that you are given a map and you are traveling in your car. You need to take this highway all the way and then the exit etc etc and you reach the destination in example 5 hrs. But if every 10 mins you keep saying oh i have not reached my destination and you turn and try another street etc etc.. you never sort of really know whether you would ever reach the destination. And right now thats whats happening. You sort of liked Neville's teaching, maybe you could stick to that then eventually you will get to a great place in life. But you have lot of inner chatter and i am not saying it does not appear legitimate. Or that you are not trying. But that is getting in the way. Its like Catch 22. You want to see the great life but to for that to happen all the great advice is that for some time take it easy and whatever little you have be happy with it and slowly that will expand and you will be at a great place. All of it will change. But you don't have that trust in that mechanism. Thats the bottom line. You think that if you do that what if still nothing changes??? 1000s of great masters have laid out the truth. To go within. and everything exists there. YOu want the answers and they are giving it. BUt you need check it out more closely and apply in your life. then life will never be same again. Willingness to be open and apply it sincerely. All Masters have said it that silence is the answer. This looks dumb from outside to say - why the hell would silence answer all problems. But this can only be felt intuitively once you start doing meditation. Do meditation everyday 15-20 mins. We anyway waste time all the time. Whats another 15-20 mins. This is the answer to all. be patient and keep doing and slowly you will see the shift in you. What you do will get more and more clearer and your actions start being more efficient etc. You will gravitate to things that make you happy at a deeper level and more everlasting happiness type of things and not some fleeting desires. I liked the lucid dreaming part to. If you detach from the logical mind while doing it it can serve in that capacity too. But better to do separate meditation regularly. it will lead you to where you want to go. if you want proof just go on internet and google benefits of meditations... how from celebrities, to monks to regular people benefit and many cases transformed their lives.. there are untold stories of this :-) ;-) ;-)
(12 Nov '13, 17:38)
abrahamloa
@abrahamloa Neville Goddard stresses the importance of meditation also. It's the very first thing he recommends doing if you want to change your life & he mentions it continuously throughout his lectures and books.. This is the reason I said my update on the Hope question was not for flow. He knows all this. I would have added a Goddard quote; but didn't have one handy that nite. Good answer & info & I couldn't agree more.
(12 Nov '13, 18:00)
ele
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thx ele, i didn't know that neville was advocating mediation.... well if all masters have said thats the answer then you very well shut up and do it and get the benefit lol... like the nike ad says DO IT!! i know there are slight diff perspectives and tools so its better just pick something that you like and do it... (i don't mean you as in you ele but anyone in general!!)
(12 Nov '13, 19:36)
abrahamloa
@abrahamloa I felt bad that I didn't tell you this on the Hope thread because you were very concerned about him & you spent quite a bit of time trying to help him. I know others such as Ursixx were very concerned also. My apologies abrahamloa. It's still great info.
(12 Nov '13, 20:03)
ele
there is no need to apologize ele... this is just a forum and people give diff answers based on somethings that seem to work for us, or from what you think works.. etc... you don't need to take any advice or you can try it... we don't know who is posting what and we take advice as our own discretion etc..
(12 Nov '13, 20:08)
abrahamloa
I've been a member a bit longer than you. I've had quite a bit of interaction with flow since he joined last Christmas. I would love if a new member could get through to him. I've yet seen anything posted (including mine) that has not been said to him before, numerous times by most of the members on this forum. That weekend he seemed desperately out of control, going from ? to ? crying for help & trying to get attention in any way he could including clever attacks or sarcasm. It's not who he is.
(12 Nov '13, 20:24)
ele
i see. ok thx for info. its hard. because like 7 yrs back i also did little meditation but i never was able to really get it. I also fell out of it. i was only looking for external results. but since 2 yrs back something got me and i really made shifts to understand more. So i understand when people don't find some of the stuff we post really transform them. Its gonna happen when its gonna happen. But at least knowing from others experiences hopefuly triggers a little for next time...
(12 Nov '13, 20:30)
abrahamloa
its hard for people to believe that letting go and just following something else that is joyous to you will shift things and you get better life.. they think they need to really do something about it.. which can also work based on your vibration.... but for me when letting go worked better at the moment since i had resistance.. it was a VERY BIG AHA moment..
(12 Nov '13, 20:32)
abrahamloa
i was really stunned because everything i learnt before that was opposite.. don't get me wrong now i pursue things but i have that letting go also incorporated to keep myself loose enough and then life works great ... because you are pursuing too but at the same time you are detached and then life is really beautiful at that point... you recaptured the magic of life and everyday is more wonderful..
(12 Nov '13, 20:33)
abrahamloa
sometimes people only let go after learning spiritual principles and have resistance to take action... but having both is powerful... where you take action at your best but at the same time you didn't give a damn to some extent lol... this for me is most powerful... but again its for me... each individual has to find whatever is right for them...
(12 Nov '13, 20:36)
abrahamloa
in this internet age so much beautiful tools are available if you can hear them... i am sure before i did not hear them but later i did to some extent - i don't by any means think i am expert but its been way better than before...
(12 Nov '13, 20:37)
abrahamloa
What Neville meant by meditation was something akin to visualization, it was the deliberate and controlled use of one's imagination. What most people mean by meditation is the opposite, the quieting of the imagination into silence. Something he said:
(20 Nov '13, 17:15)
flowsurfer
"Its abuse in unrestrained unlovely image-making is obvious; but its abuse in undue repression breeds a sterility which robs man of actual wealth of experience. Imagining novel solutions to ever more complex problems is far more noble than to run from problems. Life is the continual solution of a continuously synthetic problem."
(20 Nov '13, 17:15)
flowsurfer
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Sorry for your difficulties. Perhaps it would best serve you to write a list of each things you would like to change (such as the things you listed: "I live in my mother's basement, I don't have a car (or a driver's license), I don't have friends, I don't study or work. I have never even kissed a girl and I'm nearing 30"); and break each down into small, manageable action steps you can take towards making a positive change in each of these aspects of you life. For example: I don't have a car (or a driver's license) --> get your learner's permit. Now, I know this seems like a small, insignificant tasks in the grand scheme of your life, BUT something like getting your learner's permit will move the stagnant energy around (which sounds like it really needs to flow), and it will give you a sense of accomplishment. Change doesn't need to be like BAM! a 180 degree turn from where you are. Small changes will lead to more change, and more change, and some time in the future (a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, etc.) when you reflect back, you will be glad you took that small, seemingly insignificant action step. 2
Even if someone gave you a million dollars tomorrow you would still find something to cry about. Get off the pity pot, people here really care and you are mocking some pretty good advice. The bottom line is you choose to feel bad so you will continue to attract things to #### you off. There is special help out there, like professionals who don't really care, maybe that is what you need for now. Best of luck!
(11 Nov '13, 15:35)
petitesweetyme
Mocking???
(11 Nov '13, 15:39)
flowsurfer
Why do you think if someone gave me a million dollars tomorrow I would "still find something to cry about"? Look, a million dollars is just a million dollars. It's not the solution to every problem. But it sure would make things much, much better by providing me with a lot more options.
(11 Nov '13, 15:44)
flowsurfer
Dude, results come from taking some sort of action. I don't care if it's just getting up and doing jumping jacks for 5 minutes, you gotta do something. 'mocking' is the wrong word. You just seem unwilling. To do anything. Whatsoever. Yet you want change and results. I understand motivation is a huge hurdle to surpass when depression sets it. Don't be a victim of your own negative thinking. BTW, good for you for even posting this question, this IS an action step.
(11 Nov '13, 15:53)
infinity
I'm not "unwilling", I'm eager to do things that would actually make a difference. I can't figure out what those things are. For example, I can't afford to get a driver's license. It's not that I don't have it because I rather sit at home, I don't have it because I don't know what steps to take to make that viable without making a mess of other things and feeling worse and more trapped. I'm done trying to figure out how to fix things. I am giving up all doubt that I can be 6'1 and a model. Bye.
(11 Nov '13, 18:05)
flowsurfer
Flow, do me a favor and reply to my email within the next few days. I'm not blackmailing you into doing as I please or anything (I totally am. ^_^) but I'm not above notifying certain individuals if I feel concerned about someone I care about, and that was no way to end a conversation. Even if you elect to say "I don't want to discuss that topic anymore at all." I'm going to pester you and demand you act like my friend and chat with me for a week or two of your time. Then you may do as you like
(11 Nov '13, 19:34)
Snow
The LAST thing you want to say to someone who is severely depressed & does not wish to live any longer is "get off the pity pot" or your sarcastic remarks. Here's a link http://psychcentral.com/lib/worst-things-to-say-to-someone-whos-depressed/0004972 @flow if you would like to talk to some one on line -- here is a link & I can find more if you would like - the Samaritans do NOT judge & they may be able you.
(11 Nov '13, 20:36)
ele
@flow I asked you where you lived for a reason. I see Brazil coming up on the board. If that is your location, I have a few ideas but no reason to post if that is not where you reside.
(11 Nov '13, 20:37)
ele
Yes, I'm in Brazil.
(20 Nov '13, 17:06)
flowsurfer
I don't want emotional support ele, I want to have a life I consider good. Talking to people that can't actually help (even if only by sharing an idea) actually increases my sense of despair. This is one of the reasons I stop posting sometimes.
(20 Nov '13, 17:10)
flowsurfer
@flow Hey Dear - been thinking about you. I'm NOT offering emotional support. I'm going to suggest a career path if you are interested.
(20 Nov '13, 17:44)
ele
I was replying to your link to the "Samaritans". I'm listening.
(20 Nov '13, 18:59)
flowsurfer
1
@ele Your account is no longer listed as "suspended". I'm glad because to me, that made no sense at all. I hope you can offer that suggestion now.
(23 Nov '13, 18:06)
flowsurfer
appreciation the support @flow I read what you wrote last nite & your support meant a lot to me. TY! When I clicked on IQ early this morning, it appeared to me like my temp suspension had turned into a permanent one. I received this greeting when I logged on. "Welcome Back ele, your suspension has been lifted." Those #####, they have such a whacky sense of humor - sure they thought I would take it as a cheery welcome .
(23 Nov '13, 22:08)
ele
@Simon You told me you were NOT going to be pc correct? I objected to the shorten version of Jewish. Sounds like discrimination to me. Your profanity software finds the shortened version of British offensive? "@ele Regarding the word Jew ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jew_(word external link (opens in new window)) ) we have no intention of enforcing political correctness on Inward Quest. We are simply removing words that are clearly considered offensive by most and are often used in"
(23 Nov '13, 22:27)
ele
.... "in an aggressive manner. If you believe the word Jew is deliberately being used offensively, report it when it happens and a moderator will look at it." (Oct 11 at 12:15)Simon Templeton ♦ I can assure you @Simon and anyone else who hails from the UK - I meant no offense when I shortened the word British.
(23 Nov '13, 22:33)
ele
in case you are still up & waiting @flow - I lost my connection again. At times, RL takes precedence over cyber life & this is one of those times. I'm not really accessible at the moment. The solution is so simple I'm surprised @Monty didn't think of it. I'll bb soon... (In case someone reading this does know me - that was meant as a compliment to Monty)
(23 Nov '13, 22:36)
ele
1
ele, im SO SO glad your back, this site wouldn't be the same without you cherub. Keep up the good work.
(24 Nov '13, 02:36)
Monty Riviera
@flow You can write your own ticket if you can speak English as well as you write it. There is only one English speaking country south of the US border. The official language of most countries is Portuguese. Do you speak Spanish also? There is a great demand in your country for ppl who are bilingual & speak English.
(27 Nov '13, 07:42)
ele
1
" cherub" a term of endearment I reserve for only 3 people :) lol
(27 Nov '13, 10:38)
Monty Riviera
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You need to be clear about what it is that you really want ... put it up there and then be aware of the opportunities that are EVERYWHERE that will get you moving along the path to what you want! and TAKE THEM! you don't have to get everything right ... but inertia will not create movement towards something that you want. |
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I am in school to be a "creator god" (we all are gods, we've just lost touch with our powers/abilities) if you wish that option is available to you..? one of things we build a lot is happy and ease.. wonderful vibrations/emotions :) This school is not a "quick fix" but in the long term it's everything you want and more, anyway.. it's just a option :) When you say "school", do you mean life? Like, this earth is a school? I am not sure I understand what you are trying to say. Can you clarify?
(25 Nov '13, 00:34)
flowsurfer
No I am in school.. since about 2009 or 2006 you might say.. my first teachers were Abraham and bashar.. after mainly learning "information" from them, I wanted to accelerate a level.. and I was put into a DOING SOMETHING school.. basically new age doesn't have to be "good advice" there are things you can do to MANIFEST reality better become happier :) I would say you would have to experiment with school (if you wanted too?) and then see if it helps... I did :)
(25 Nov '13, 18:59)
themaster
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I have been exactly where you are, not the exact same circumstances but in the vibration that you've settled in. Focusing on all that you 'don't have'. The difficult thing is when you're vibrating lack and despair you can't see what's right in front of you, all the good stuff. It's there all the same, waiting for you to align with it and you will. What I have realized is this, once you're on this path, this journey to regular alignment with your vortex, you can't lose. You'll get pulled to where you're trying to get to anyway - not that it is actually 'somewhere else' of course. It's all right with you now, everything you want is in the room where you're sitting now. You just can't view it through the despair. The good news is this, you will power on through this, it's temporary, change is the only constant. You can make it is as difficult as you want but one day the storm will clear, these thoughts will pass and you will see every single thing that you've popped into your vortex. It's with you now, it's yours. You can't not have it. It will come. So try to relax and enjoy the ride :) Change is a constant, but I look at the life of my father and grandfather and I don't see when their lives turned for the better, only a kind of life-long decay.
(26 Nov '13, 15:36)
flowsurfer
Perceptions can change in an instant and I know this will happen for you. Just keep going, stay in the now as much as you can and try to enjoy the journey. :)
(26 Nov '13, 16:44)
Yes
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First of all I'm here on Inward Quest as a Learner. Second of all It provided a platform to share my experiences in the form of questions and answers. None I'm forcing to listen until unless they feel some conscious efforts or otherwise all is awesome in IQ. The below mentioned experience is one part of my life. I made my own father to travel towards death. Want to know how! My father is Civil Contract. He works under a Builder. With one single Builder he worked for about more than 25years. Both had trust on each other. I grew up seeing their relation. Its not like a worker and owner. Their relation is like a friendship. After completion of my intermediate, I started working in call center. I had much proud on my earning that I thought to relieve my father from work (which is great mistake of my life). One fine day builder came to my home to ask about my father. At that time my father was not at home. I told him (builder) "that my father grew older, how long he can work, enough don’t be back of my father". Builder influenced by my words and told the same to my father “you grew older go, can’t work , go take rest”. My father broke down completely. His dishearten behavior started. After so many days, with heavy hearted he informed my mother. How can he say that to me. My father is capable enough to take care 10 more kids like me. But due to direct hit on his capabilities by the most trusted person. It slowly weakens him. Later he tried to recover, but in an accident he died. My wrong conclusion, judgment made kill my own father. He is good looking. My entire family is suffering because of me. I was not even in a conscious state to understand why it happen and how. Later after following Dynamic thought I able to see my self clearer and conscious, understanding improved. I feel like - If someone is helping with bread and butter (though not in my case), he is a real killer. Because he is not letting you feel, express. He is not letting you to use your energies. Sooner or later stagnant energies find the way to leave you. Failures will address immediately. In response to your pain, I can do, “not to be an obstacle in your efforts”. Instead I can put some of my efforts to double your efforts. It is called helping. I pray for you to come out of cursed situation to a blessed circumstances. Always cultivate hope for brighter days. Hold faith until you achieve it. I'm tired of hope. I want results.
(11 Nov '13, 09:47)
flowsurfer
Hope is not one time practice. It is a life time practice. Hang on there, no one has escaped from worse timing in life.
(11 Nov '13, 10:40)
PERFECT GOOD
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How about not blaming your miserable life on higher power. While i believe there is something beyond us, imo getting your sh it together is the number one priority. Tonyrobbins dot com That doesn't tell me anything.
(24 Nov '13, 15:42)
flowsurfer
You obviously are aware of the fact that the owner of this awesome & free site made a simple request. I'm not sure if you know this or not; but anyone who uses creative word play to circumvent the profanity scanner could be suspended immediately with no warning. I'm not flagging your post; but I would appreciate it if you would edit your answer. If you don't want to play by the rules, you should go play somewhere else. Very juvenile & NOT funny. Grow up!
(25 Nov '13, 06:41)
ele
1
It seems that this post has gotten people thinking, just be careful what you are thinking it will come right back at you. Maybe we should all look away from this and focus on more productive positive topics.
(25 Nov '13, 08:55)
petitesweetyme
@petike1 I like your comment. Well put. As long as anyone is blaming others for their life situation, they are powerless to change it. @ele is sort of correct the software here does hashtag certain words. If they get hashtags it means they are considered inappropriate. Pay little attention to her implied threat about flagging posts and being suspended. It is another of her jokes. She can be a nagger at times. If you see it in the Proper Light. She is really quite funny.
(28 Nov '13, 13:07)
Dollar Bill
Well Bill ~ missed this one too. hmm ... Do you need glasses or is it old timers disease? I clearly stated I was NOT flagging his post. Not that type of gal - tho I was channeling my inner V. nagger really funny ol' man.... naggers hmm ... You sure have been on me ~ home life not so pleasant these days? What happened to your sense of humor? Sorry if I missed any more of your pleasantries .... You'll have to ask Simon to reinstate email notifications. ta ta & Good Night ..
(06 Dec '13, 03:09)
ele
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I need to detach from this community, from this network. I have difficulty because it feels like a lifeline, sort of like I'm in the ocean and it's the only ship passing by that might hear my cry for help and I can't let go of it. I know intellectually that I will not find help here. I might find distraction or empathy but not the actual key that liberates me from whatever it is, internal or external, that is keeping me down. I know I can't seek that from family or anyone else either. I don't want to be involved in drama. I don't want to complain. It's just not worth my time. I want a life that I am proud to own. I don't know if that life is possible but I know I won't find it here. I am not sure how to cope but I need to focus on something else. I need to stop thinking that asking for help is my last option and find something deeper that will actually work. Maybe the key is subtle and hidden in plain sight. Maybe I haven't surrendered enough to Neville's approach. I don't know, I have to figure it out. If possible, I would like to have my account suspended or deleted/banned to avoid the temptation of coming back. I mean it, please do it. Thank you for trying your best to provide comfort and guidance to me. Maybe something you said will bounce around in my head enough to make a difference. I hope you come back on one day soon. Even if it's just to read and absorb all the great information that is here , for you. It's horrible living your life feeling all the emotions at the bottom of the scale. I really feel for you and I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your journey. Much love to you
(27 Nov '13, 08:47)
Yes
In response to your saying that having a million dollars would make things "much better" for you. I had no money and I lived with my parents for a while when I was at my 'rock bottom' and now I have a million dollars, more than a million. But, here's the thing I didn't get the million dollars until I FELT GOOD having nothing. With money and success and with nothing I felt the same way, I felt happy :) That's what this inward journey is about. That's power. That's real security. Keep going :)
(27 Nov '13, 09:01)
Yes
@flow Please look at the posts I left you under Monty & Infinity's answers. I answered your question. I hesitated cause I had 2nd thoughts thinking maybe you used a translation service or you could read & write English but not speak it. Lots of ppl can. I'm sorry I made you wait. I never saw this post. You don't have to suspend your acct. You don't get mail if your acct is suspended. We all go through that IQ addiction thingy... I need your permission to delete comments on Jai's ?
(27 Nov '13, 09:18)
ele
I asked Simon to delete my answer. I'm hoping he will; but anyone who made a comment will have to give their permission also. You're the only one who made comments. Will you give permission? I think you just need to rest -- you've been posting like crazy. I will miss you if you decide to go & wishing you the best of everything if you do. Maybe I'll copy & paste my comments to this answer. Save you the effort. Take Care Love you If you need me - you know how to find me right?
(27 Nov '13, 09:24)
ele
@flow You can write your own ticket if you can speak English as well as you write it. There is only one English speaking country south of the US border. The official language of most countries is Portuguese. Do you speak Spanish also? There is a great demand in your country for ppl who are bilingual & speak English. You have so many choices.
(27 Nov '13, 09:26)
ele
I don't know why I didn't get an email notification of your answer. I was subscribed cause I posted on the thread. Sure glad I looked one last time before logging off. Get some rest, food & have some fun.. See you when you get back whenever it is. Post on my thread if I'm not around. I take lots of time off.
(27 Nov '13, 09:32)
ele
@Monty I thought it was a great idea too ... @flow is destined for bigger & better things. Nothing wrong with working at a fast food place for a couple hrs a few days a week. Meet ppl & get out of the "basement" too. Being bilingual would prob put him in a customer service position immediately. With his English skills he won't have any trouble finding work - good paying jobs - an exciting career. All kinds of businesses are looking for guys like him. What would you like to do @flow?
(27 Nov '13, 09:32)
ele
@flow What is the deal with not having the minimum amt of ed to work at Micky D's? In the US, they don't require even a GED. You don't need any special training unless you're after a higher end position. In the US, you can choose the no. of hrs you want to work. They are very accommodating; they have 4 hour shifts. Lots of retired ppl & stay at home moms work 4 hr shifts & they accommodate their schedules. I know it's not your thing - thought I would mention it for the benefit of others.
(27 Nov '13, 09:36)
ele
I understand what an effort it is when one is very depressed. I hope you open your email.. Thank you..
(27 Nov '13, 09:36)
ele
@ele I am probably not being very smart in posting here but I just can't control the urge. In response to what you said, unless you are a high school student in your teens, you do need a high school diploma for McDonalds. They can't advertise the jobs for young people only anymore, but they don't actually hire people beyond a certain age for anything but high level positions that require college. I do not know of any door that is open to me simply because I have reasonably good english.
(27 Nov '13, 13:42)
flowsurfer
What would you like to do @flow? What are my options? It hurts to answer it and then hear "Well no, you can't do that". There I go again, crying for no good reason. I don't think I have the means to communicate where my soul is. I will try to restrain myself from posting here because it is clearly not productive.
(27 Nov '13, 16:57)
flowsurfer
Hey @flow I wasn't ignoring you. I glanced at it earlier & thought it was my post. (you pasted my bold print) duh! Then I got distracted. Busy day. I hate no notifications. You have to tell me what interests you besides modeling. I don't think I ever told you, you couldn't do something. What are your desires. English speakers are in demand in your country & your economy is expanding & there are not many ppl who speak English well in your country & many opps. What would you like to do?
(28 Nov '13, 08:10)
ele
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Perhaps you could write country western songs? Maybe sing them? You are already a great inspiration for despair. Think about it. There could be a lot of bucks and some fancy clothes in it! Here is a great example of what you could do! Gloom, Despair and Agony on me But, then if you were able to pull yourself out of the despair, you would lose the ability to make money with it, because you would be feeling better. I guess if this happened, you would sink back into despair and write some more songs. And women, the enabling type. You could have tons of those! If you have a hard time crying in front of people, turn your back a minute and pull out a few nose hairs. This will bring tears. Should get you some great sympathy. As far as getting taller there was a marvelous invention called "The Rack." I am sure there is a youtube video somewhere. It WILL make you taller and you can suffer mightily while getting taller leading to still more country western songs. It would be a win-win!! Wow! You are a lucky dude! Make some lemonade out of your lemons. And if the above doesn't work, or even if it does, check out the S&M groups. They are always looking for needy people. lol @No Brainer Is this you & Bill's song? "Ran off with an old (hash tag) named Bill"
(26 Nov '13, 06:24)
ele
To be clear -- that was a joke. I'm surprised you didn't understand that.
(26 Nov '13, 15:43)
ele
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Too funny ... I recall learning how to square dance to music similar to that for a school play. You Southerners are such a hoot. Not much call for square dancers up North. You & Bill do si do much? Old beau of yours @No Brainer ? Gloom, Despair And Agony On Me Gloom, despair, and agony on me I stand 6 foot 8 when I'm completely unfurled Gloom, despair, and agony on me I knew a gal who lived high up on a hill Gloom, despair, and agony on me We figured she was rich, loaded to the hilt Gloom, despair, and agony on me That girl sounds a lot like you... Flow is guitar player - he said he didn't want to be a bald short guitar player. Writing songs is a good idea; but not Country Western. Remember he is depressed & suicidal. I know the depressant effect that type music has on me. What are you trying to do @No Brainer kill him? (shame on you) Big meanie! You're taller than him too Bully! Pick on someone your own size next time. lol! If you can't figure it out - you'll find the answer to the hash tag if you click the link below. oops ... http://www.ceder.net/recorddb/viewsingle.php4?RecordId=14253
link
This answer is marked "community wiki".
Now who doesn't have a sense of humor @No Brainer Be my guest - downvote to your hearts content. Too bad this one was marked wiki. Very classy dear - voting down 3 of my most popular answers . Tantrum? http://www.inwardquest.com/users/3967/no-brainer/reputation/ You sure can dish it out ...
(26 Nov '13, 14:36)
ele
@ele Anne was just joking. Didn't you get the point? You must be joking now. Hiding behind Community Wiki? Very funny!! Haw Haw.
(28 Nov '13, 12:57)
Dollar Bill
@Dollar Bill "Anne was just joking." Ele was joking too, Bill . Point? ... I'm thinkin' pointless? Wiki lol I never answered flow's Q. My A should have been a comment to NB. Alert Barry, maybe he'll fix it & change my A into a comment .. It's a copy & a paste & that makes it a wiki. Have you never noticed all my wiki A's? You're the one who is into karma. I bet I gave you a significant amt of it.. Ever think of giving NB 1/2 of your K points.. Sounds like a V good thing to me.
(29 Nov '13, 04:16)
ele
She should be rewarded for her wit. Prior to the other A, I thought she was lots of fun & I usually agree with what she has to say. Actually Bill, I thought the song was hilarious & my answer was intended to be taken in a humorous fashion by you. It was the next answer, I had an issue with.
(29 Nov '13, 04:27)
ele
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@flowsurfer- feeling angry lately? What about sexually frustrated?
Something I've discovered I wish I discovered years ago and its making me feel blissful- The 5 Tibetan Rites. I feel elated doing so and can think of solutions to problems easier. The 6th Tibetan rite helps get your sexual energy from your testes up into your brain- absolutely essential for spiritual powers!
@Nikulas My frustration is a lot wider than sex.
@Nikulas I've done a fair bit of reading. I think you would like this book: http://smilyanov.net/download/pdfs/The%20Way%20of%20the%20Superior%20Man.pdf
@flowsurfer- Great book. Thankyou for recommeding it! You know me too well, this is perfect in my studies!!
I need to find someone to talk with that actually knows how to help me. Where else can I ask for help?
@Nikulas, same here, wish I would of discovered ecstasy drug years ago. It's orgasmic experience piercing through every cell of your body, to say the least. haha. gotta get me some more..brb.
@CalonLan Aren't you just overwhelmed sometimes by fear from the thought that you are just an animal?
@flow "I need to find someone to talk with that actually knows how to help me. Where else can I ask for help?" You said you lived in a country with free medical. Perhaps a counselor would be a good place to start. What country are you from if you don't mind me asking. BTW, interesting book link & I can't wait for @Nik 's feedback..
@Flowsurfer, when I took the drug, although I consider the experience somewhat personal, I can admit to the fact I was acting like an animal. And I'm pretty sure I didn't mind it at all. In fact, I immensely enjoyed the experience.
...and why fear being an animal. Why would it be important to be something more. Maybe we're enlightened beings with higher powers, or maybe we're just animal with a little bit more brain than other animals. Either way, would life be any different than what it is right now?
Speaking for myself, I personally believe when someone keeps asking "the same question" or many questions of a similar nature or seeming to have the same root cause, this means we have yet to provide the correct answer. I don't feel you (or anyone) is to 'blame' even if many answers are great and work well for others, instead I feel we must endlessly look for new ways until we produce an answer which speaks to you in a language you can understand and implement. So IMO? Keep asking, friend.
@Snow, imo what about stopping looking for the answer and turning one's attention towards understanding what the question really is and be done with all the bs that the question generates. IMO THAT.
Some people need to ask a question once. Some need an example. Some need a few answers from different perspectives. Some need to understand why the correct answer is what it is before the answer can work for them. Some figure it out on their own without ever asking in the first place.
No matter which category flow or anyone falls under, my response will always remain the same in saying 'keep asking'. Even if I suggest a break from thinking about it, I'd always say ask if you feel like asking.
@Snow, indeed you are correct, do what you were destined to do. =)
@CL: Destined to do? What exactly did you have in mind.
@Flow:
I have an answer to this question (actually many, most trashcanned due to my dissatisfaction). It's just saying what others have already but way wordier and disorganized. If you're looking for more reading material email me, I don't feel like posting more ramblings here. Don't expect it to be any good though, just more of the same.
@Snow I'm pretty sure you have my email, just let me know if you send me anything because I rarely check. Calon is into nihilism/materialistic determinism. He believes it is the truth. I've considered that. It is terrifying and irrational; even more so if it is true.
Yes, I do. Ele was reminding me of this point a few weeks ago, as my repeated attempts at answering you followed by deleting the result has been the subject of our conversations on multiple occasions. Sending that now.
As far as Cal goes: I personally don't assume to know what CL actually believes, I believe more often their position shifts to best suit the point they're trying to make in a way the recipient will understand. What's actually going on behind the scenes I couldn't guess.
@Snow Calon, the character, believes this. Calon, the person behind the character, playing the role of Calon... is Jesus Christ. How do you feel knowing you are Jesus Christ CalonLan?
@Flowsurfer, what has been in my mind? A great deal of wine, but regardless that, ...Yes I'm into determinism, it scared me and so I faced my fear and just gave in, instead of trying to escape it.
How do I feel Jesus Christ playing me? I feel ridiculous.
My actions are the answers to frustrations of my life, as always, searching for happiness at the bottom of a bottle, drugs, or neon light. I too, feel.... and it's a great deal.But to worry, I choose not...for as they say, I am the god.
So come what may... in any way it wants. What I believe? I question all, I question my own questioning. I dance, I sing, I do just about everything. When you provide a point view, I provide the opposite. It's what I do.... And for any border, I'll go beyond it. Living is not static thing.
I don't care what has been said, and I don't what has been done. I will fkin live my life, as myself, the only one.
And I suggest the same to you, instead of trying to grow a bit taller, enjoy your...
...what you got. Cherish you height however small you may consider it to be. In the world full of judgement, the last thing to add is your judgement of your own. Who cares how tall or small anybody ####### is. I get excited when I see girls smaller than me, I'm sure there are girls that get exited when they see a guy smaller then they are.
Whatever your true reasons are bro, whyever your height bothers you, it's all irrelevant. Stop regretting, whatever this life, it's not perfect for me either
...but I take it in all its imperfection and just play my part. And actually, I get to enjoy it.
I have skin problems and it shows the most on my face and there is no treatment according to doctors. And so I prefer to be alone, in the darkness of my room where nobody sees me. Because when I go out and the conditions is at its worse part I can see the judgement in other people's eyes. And I don't like that, they all suck. fking braindeads with their point of views.... you know how hard it is...
...to actually find someone that doesn't judges you? It's HARD. Everyone feels self-righteous and like they know the best. But being alone, in solitude, I learned a lot and to see past the ever changing point of views. And perhaps a bit crazy too, I'm not afraid to trying things people consider taboo or illegal.
The way society operates is a joke, and I enjoy it as I laugh. I might have go crazy, so what, it's only the consequence of all the causes preceding it. It's my destiny that I cherish.
Hmmm....
@CalonLan: "When you provide a point view, I provide the opposite. It's what I do.... And for any border, I'll go beyond it."
Well, they have a phrase to describe this behavior, and it isn't "Playing Jesus's advocate." ;) Just saying.
Something tells me you may be trying to dupe us! :D :) Use your powers for good and I don't really care.
@Flow: Irrelevant of how any of this plays out. Just know you're not alone. We'll figure it out, someday.
@snow, why dupe you? You realize how any point of view or perspective is ridiculous? When I see someone present one, and I'm in the mood to have some fun, I'll try to crush it by arguments that would support the exact opposite. After all, the opposite is just another point of view.
People are shifting their whole life from one to another, realizing things, having the ahhh moments,... If you provided yourself with an opposite pov right after you assumed any...you would realize this....
...and perhaps more importantly, you would see that any point of view you take in any point in time is just ridiculous, because an opposing one could be provided immediately had you been open-minded enough....as a result, you would never of assumed any point of view at all. I know, I know... this would undermine the sense of who we actually believe us to be...The thought of realizing whole life might have been a lie scares the majority of people. Not me, I know perspectives are lies...but...
...I still enjoy them, like theatrical stories that never happened, and are just a product of our fantasies....And indeed..what else our perspectives are?
One thing, two people, two opposing perspectives,...one says it's a good thing, the other says it's a bad thing. So what is the thing? The thing is the thing. The bad and the good are our fantasies, comforting us on our journey in life.
If a bomb terrorist ran towards a full school bus, ....I would enjoy the show. Immoral? Meh, fantasy. ;)
At the foundation I agree with everything you're saying regarding stances, opinions, perspectives, and belief.
Without shared experiences I'd even say you're correct, but until/unless we live in a world where "there is no cup" and our individual versions of reality could dynamically shift with no impact on other's, we're able to determine which stances are more or less valid through empirical evidence.
Collecting and building off of this evidence allows PoV's to be refined and corrected, etc..
@snow, what do you mean by corrected? You assume then each POV has a certain value? Less valued can be improved to have higher value? In relation to what system of worth? ...
Our individual versions of reality can dynamically shift...but ofcourse they are having impact on others...however in fact, having impact on other people's individual versions of reality themselves only.
If you see a girl, is she beautiful or ugly? How come someone marries a person I find repulsive to look at...
...I didn't learn to think there is no value in perspective from having inferior point of view. As if I felt of lower value than others.
There are in fact many areas of life, I feel much much superior to the vast majority of people. And I could of course in my self-righteous nature impose this perspective on others. But it was there, where I stood on the top of my own mountains, and saw everyone crawling at their bases, I understood my own superiority is irrelevant. And that is why, I....
Heh. I fear we've gotten quite derailed from the topic at hand.
I enjoy the discussion and would like to continue it some time soon.
We'll have to get the mods to whip up a discussion forum more for back and forths and less for Q&A. I'd love to challenge your devil's advocate on this, and a few other things, but we'll have to start one step at a time.
For now I'ma stop chatting on comments here, we must continue at some point though..
...can accept any point of view, regardless of how immoral, crazy, out of line it may seem to others. I don't see any values in perspectives. I'm honestly tired of thoughts of my superiority...always being or trying to be the best, and for what? Filling the voids within me, that my imagination has created?
The story of my life is no longer playing in the outside world, it's all contained within me.
....p.s. I wish ele was here to comfort me with her presence. =D Where are you @ele? T_T
@snow lol no problem, i don't even know what the topic was to begin with. I guess that's what happens when you drink a whole bottle of wine by yourself. Your thoughts just run anywhere =D
@Cal Aw. I heard your cries but I could not get here. So annoying when RL interferes with cyber fun. It was a 3 day weekend. When I finally did, I knew you were in dreamland, dancing the nite away. If helps any, I did look to see if you arrived safely home the other nite & you did. Surely you jest. With your rugged good looks, a couple spots or scars on your face gives you character & can only add to your charm. I don't think the 'animal' danced solo the other nite either....
.... I have to admit, dancing with a man in a mask is very smexy. I also have to admit the word I was writing which got hashed - once again, not a clue. I'm going to straight to urban dictionary now. I subbed the word spot. ETA That word was kindof funny - they have a name for that too - starts with a b but it is not another word for acne - cause I looked that one up too & that one is not so funny.
smexy meaning smart and sexy - not the urban dictionary meaning.
@Flowsurfer You say you need someone who can help ... "No one has any information that is better than that which you have for yourself" Wendy Kennedy challing the 9D PC. You have much better answers to your situation than any of us have, do you listen for your own answers though? Before sleeping write out a stream of consciousness - you'll be surprised at the insights you have for yourself and then intend to receive answers to some of your questions - trust and remain vigilant.
@Catherine Yes, I do pay attention to my own answers. They haven't been very helpful.
Abraham's answer is "Hang on, it'll be over in a little while".