The key to all this is that self-doubts start creeping in, when you say "it's kind of like as soon as i want to believe and confirm to myself that it's true" implies that you are starting to doubt, then sure enough your subconscious obediently follows your command "doubt" and manifests something to take away your faith.

"When you doubt your power, you give power to doubt" - Honoré de Balzac

The more you fight to regain your faith the more it resists and things fall apart. When things consistently fall apart in this way it means that you've internalized negative messages, you've programmed yourself to act parrot fashion.

Learn how to recognize when your internal dialogue becomes negative, when your faith starts withering you can turn it around by saying to yourself "my faith is coming back and i'm making good progress" Doing this transforms a negative feeling into a positive feeling and changes the situation into an opportunity to grow and giving yourself a chance.

It's really all about being aware of what's going on inside you, the more quiet you are the more you can perceive and realize that less is more. All the real work in your life is not done in the outer physical world but in your inner world.

We do this naturally, here's a real example; when i was a student with little money but lots of dreams i really wished i had a big powerful motorbike, i had chosen a model in a catalog, i often imagined myself going for a ride on it, i could feel the vibrating engine and the incredible acceleration, the pleasure of wind on my face ... i was really riding that bike in my mind. Two weeks later as if by magic a friend offered me almost the same model for peanuts, i just had enough money and so i ended up obtaining something i thought i would never obtain.

At the time i didn't realize that i'd manifested that bike into my life, now i do realize it. The point i'm making is that that bike seemed unattainable to me at the time, i was completely satisfied with my day dream bike, i held no doubts in my mind about whether i would get it or not.

Wow, I have to say that I can totally relate. I have also been trying to think positively and as long as I continue to stay positive then everything in my life does go smoothly and I do see the correlation between the way that I feel and the circumstances that I attract. Then, on Monday, my car broke down on the highway. I tried to look at this in a positive way. First of all, Monday is the only day of the week that I don't have classes or work or anything, so if this had to happen, at least I am thankful for that.

But, as positive as I tried to be, it always comes down to money for me that could lower my vibration on any given day. How am I going to pay for the repairs? I am already in the hole, and as hard as I tried to tell myself, "don't worry everything will work out perfectly" I couldn't convince myself and I couldn't get the thoughts of "worrying about money" out of my head. So what happens next, my car stayed in the shop for 4 days, everyday they found something else wrong with it costing me more money, and then I had to rent a car to get back and forth to school the next couple days. I got an EZ-pass ticket in the mail from january for $50 that I didn't even know existed, my sons florescent light in his closet blew that is very expensive and then finally yesterday morning my 52 inch flat screen tv just stop working.

That was the last draw and I knew that I had to release all of these worrying thoughts about money. I knew that I had to somehow get myself back into alignment, otherwise I would continue to attract situations into my life that would cost me more money. The moment I was able to release the resistance things started to turn around. My boyfriend had a very good week at work and made more than enough to pay for my car along with all of the other bills that we had and we were even able to put some money away. Furthermore, today he gave me money to get my hair cut and my nails done. So within one day, I changed my thoughts and life is good again. So sometimes you just have to pay more attention to the thoughts that you are actually sending out and you will be able to turn everything around once again.

Because if something is already 100% the way you like, the only change it can do is become less (and then eventually back up again).

Life is Change.

Death is Stagnation.

So, Life is always Changing.

In this clip from return of the Jedi, Yoda proves why Luke can't raise the X-wing fighter from the swamp:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_QcRPNfUuE

Luke: "I don't believe it"

Yoda: "That is why you fail"

Luke's limiting beliefs prevent him from raising the X-wing. At first he starts to raise it, it's looking good, he's doing it! yes! yes! yes! Yoda wide-eyed, R2-D2 beeping away, then his limiting beliefs (along with the audience's) create doubt and it slips back into the swamp. Luke believes it's too big. To break Luke's limiting belief, Yoda knows he has to show Luke it can be done and let him see it with his own eyes so his limiting belief will be broken. Luke didn't know his belief's were what was preventing him from raising the X-wing.

So what is a limiting belief? When things are happening for you and you're rolling in the right direction and then you get that flicker of doubt out of nowhere. It's deep down, it's a program placed in there by parents, teachers, peers, an experience in the past, etc.

So how do you get rid of them? You actually neutralize them and take away their power. The way I do it is EFT tapping. Here's an example, listen to Robert trying to get this women's emotions to surface so he can neutralize them with the tapping.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmBPVjb6IM

I think that it could be a matter of perspective. What exactly is falling apart? You mentioned two things but who knows what the outcome would have been had these things come to fruition. Instead of seeing the things that are "falling apart" your focus could turn to those things in your life that are good. Every breath is a miracle. Everything around us is a miracle. I am of the opinion that when we incarnate we decide what to allow into our lives to give us the greatest chance to advance spiritually. Perhaps instead of seeing these things as indicating a crisis, look at them as predestined teaching moments. What do you learn from them? I know that is much simpler in black and white than in life but sometimes adversity is our best teacher. Perhaps that is why Jesus said it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. The rich man is already in his comfort zone with little need to strive for something more. You and I however have the opportunity to be rejected. We perhaps know what it is to be hungry, to be alone. To be broke - and to want something better.

I won't say it's a negative belief, I'd say it's what I call tentative manifestation - it happens when the momentum in the desire stream is not very big. When such manifestation shows up, we tend to switch to relying on it now outside, depending on it from the outside, and stopping doing our inner vibrational work, and then it "disappears".

You could see it as a positive sign - for example, that the Universe knows what you want, that the physical manifestation is on its way.

You can also use this comment: If life reflects our expectations, how do you explain disappointment? for relaxing and continuing the vibrational play.

And then you may come to a moment, when you'll have the feeling you just HAVE what you want, you'll just KNOW it, feel it, and this feeling will be unshakable by what's happening outside, you'll just so enjoy living this knowledge and power inside. Then you might become appreciative for how your streams behaved now. :)

Because there is some kind of negative expectation lurking in there a residue of your past preference to think negatively. Only you can know what it is. I'd just suggest practicing positive expectation which means positive imagination. It does take some time to get fully accustomed to the new approach. Learning to chill and relax is also important i.e. the effort in trying to be positive becomes a struggle and a slightly negative vibration.

like I said before if you go in extreme you always fall in the other side of the extreme. in this world everything is always changing. just like when you walk you make a left foot then a right foot. you cannot expect to make always the same step on the same leg. when you walk you need left right left right. you cannot go right, right, right or left, left, left all the time. then why would you be surprise to fall on the other foot? is it that you deceive your self that you will always go on the same leg? then why not expect to walk on each leg maybe you would not be deceive when you fall on the other step side. every thing that go up most come down. and everything that go down most come up. be the space at the center.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf5aYzbB4JM

Do you understand those words better now?

I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.

Know your self and you will know other. if you do not know your self you cannot truly know other then you deceive your self and other. and other do the same find your place to rest before you become a carcass. find a place in the desert and get to know your self.. you might like this link to read: http://www.spiritofthescripture.com/id497-jesus-40-days-in-the-desert-and-the-ego.html

In a last desperate attempt of the ego to shake the foundations of Jesus’ detachment to the physical world, the ego unleashes its greatest temptation by offering to give Jesus anything he desires:

“Again the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and showeth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.”

Jesus’ ego makes a last desperate attempt to embrace desire and fail the entire initiation process. But Jesus so completely overcomes desire that he remains detached from all that this world has to offer! This is the way of the master! Remember, we are sojourners on this earth. We should be looking for a heavenly city. Attachment to this world and what this world offers keeps us anchored to the process of life and death in the 3D world.

So ultimately Jesus in this story represents the Christ in each of us that has the power to defeat the ego!

In conclusion, I want you to think about the fact that Jesus spent 40 days in the dessert. This is a long time for introspection. The ego would be at its greatest in such a situation. During this time, Jesus was involved in some serious meditation. The entire process of Jesus defeating Satan is about surrendering oneself in meditation so that you can see the ego for what it really is.

I have overcome the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5b0axWB5cA

Let there be light , be the light that you can be . experience and enjoy.

Don’t look for rationality in this world of IRRATIONALITY! People know to invent new things and to constantly innovate them—look at the first generation cars and mobiles and the present ones—yet man does not know to innovate himself; moral decline is at its peak! Now let us be realistic.

Everything—micro and macro—is spinning, and is cyclic; seasons are repetitive; human behavior is repetitive, hence history too is repetitive. What is the proof? The present-day peak of moral decline, which means things were steadily declining from a good start in the beginning. In other words, in the beginning it was a Golden Age, then it started deteriorating. Bible declares that history passes through 4 stages, symbolized by 4 metals which are declining in quality—gold, brass, copper and iron—and God would destroy the Iron Age when it is at its darkest period and bring in Golden Age again. (Daniel 2:31-44) Hindu Scripture Bhagavat Gita too says God intervenes at the climax of irreligiousness and unrigteousness. (Gita 4:7) We are living in the fag end of Iron Age where irrationality is the norm and rationality is the exception. The whole world and its major system of things are like that. Hence there is no point in lamenting why this particular drop of sea water is salty whereas the whole sea water itself is salty.

Very soon the world will enter into a third world war which will destroy the developed world, civil wars will destroy the rest of the world, and history will repeat—a Golden age will emerge as an act of God, our heavenly Father. God has to do it because His basic quality is altruism. (Mark 10:18) In this context, Brahmakumaris have interesting explanation: According to them, God’s intervention is already underway. He did not take birth in any woman’s womb. Rather God Almighty simply borrowed physical frame of a worthy person. In the year 1936, God, the Supreme Soul, entered into the body of a 60-year old spiritual magnet, named Dada Lekh Raj, gave him six visions, one of which showed how this old world would be replaced with a Golden Age, and then commissioned him to herald this good news to the whole world. God renamed him, by his character, as Brahma (great mind, the one who treats God as his Father and others as his brothers and sisters) and called his copies as Brahmakumaris and Brahmakumars. (Compare Mathew 21:43; 23:9) And from 1936 onward, God has been teaching them Golden Aged life, using His trance medium.

In other words, God, the Supreme Seed, has been appearing at regular intervals. Through His teachings, He laid foundation for a new tree. This is in conformity with what we observe in the nature—out of the old tree comes the foundation of the new tree. Those who are the leaves of the old tree, the souls of Iron Age [Kaliyug], experience transformation and become the foundation for the Golden Aged tree, or the New World. This comes about through developing a great mind, or bringing a change in consciousness—from body consciousness to soul-consciousness, and then a change in sanskaras [the unique personality traits].