Thanks daniele.

Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time, Nikulas. But I think you've demonstrated here some considerable maturity of thought in not blaming your circumstances on any "external" entity/thing, or *punishment" of some kind, but in coming to the realization that it's just remnants of previous thinking. You can rest assured that everything comes into balance in time as you gradually acclimatize to new ways of viewing and thinking about your world. I remember I went through some "trying" experiences when I first started getting deliberate about my life. Have never looked back since then though

@Nikulas, I just found this old post, and it's so exactly where I am, its actually a little scary. I am right there. Right now. How in the hell did you get past this??? I'm loosing my ability to function.

I mean, I felt like I was having so much success, staying in the Vortex, the vibrational matches were so exciting. Now I am really struggling. I'm slipping. I keep trying to stop tears. Before I tried this, there was nothing to loose. Now it sound crazy, but I feel like I've lost the relationship I was manifesting.

@Grace I can identify with what you are saying. I similarly jumped into IQ and different processes with excitement. I have had some experience of meditation prior to this but the other processes were exciting and NEW. I am also having great success with feeling good, but, here's the thing, knowing myself and my natural tendency to go and dig into the extremes, I decided to take it easy. What clicked for me (read: easy and not complicated) was meditation, EFT and Manifestation box...

...SO I practice those. Then I stopped further looking for better/faster/instant processes. I want to pace myself. In fact, IQ is so great, every day there are new processes, suggestions, techniques which seem better than what I am currently practicing. But, I identified that this can be unending. So, unless my 'feeling good' doesn't work for extended period, I won't change it. That's just my way:). Meditation is like jumping into the ocean, we know its calm deep down, but....

..we must go through the surface chaos to reach it (maybe you are at that stage, hence the tears). It takes time. It's quite un-explainable how one feels but once you have done it enough times you will reach the calm underneath faster. The trick, I feel, is not to stop, step out and try to jump in from another angle. It'll still be the same. I feel, one should give it time, endure the transformation (however it happens, can be chaotic) and it will work. But, do it without expectations....

..I know initially, I tried to cheat it. Ah, what I really wanted was the material manifestation:) but sure enough a point came when just doing these things felt good. So I stay with it. I am ready for the experience going in so whatever comes, I am okay to experience it (even if tears! In fact, tears prob are good sign:) Miracles are always instantaneous, but we are not trained to recognize them, so it takes time to get that in our psyche:) This is how I feel, hope it helps some what:)

@Xoomaville, thank you so much. What you said went right to my core and it does help,it helps a lot. Your comparison to the ocean resonates,as I was once an avid body-surfer.I immediately pictured a 12-foot wave crashing down on me, which is pretty much the way I felt when I wrote yesterday.

I like your idea of taking a measured approach, because I have that same tendency to extremes. I don’t really mean to, but I just feel like if you are going to do something,you may as well do it right...

...I mean, how can you complain if you are not willing to try? I end up throwing myself so forcefully into whatever I believe in, I end up in a mess,as I am now. I have no problem enduring whatever I have to, as long as I believe I am doing the right thing. Your advice to stay with it and endure the transformation helps me believe I should just tie a knot and hang on. Your gentler, meditation,EFT, manifestation box practice sounds like exactly where I need to go right now. Thank you so much...

...One more question – Why do you say that tears are probably a good sign?

...this usually shuts them off. The point of the story is that, artistic work is an easy target for GREAT EXPECTATION because it is expected to be groundbreaking and original. Now allow me to submit that same thing is expected of spirituality. But it cannot be. Maybe Buddha was the original thinker, I am not. My spiritual learning comes from everything and from everyone before me. It has to. But how it becomes original is the way I apply it to myself. And so will you.

...But know that it takes time. Longer you do the easier it gets and more comfortable you'll get with the processes. How do you know how long is long enough? The way I do it is, I have stopped asking WHY? Why it works this way and not that? Why it can;t be like this! The more why I was asking the more knowledge I was getting but strangely , lesser my ability to apply that knowledge. Like all of us, our lives are complicated enough, I want my spirituality easy:) Just focus on feeling good...

...When you are not feeling good, acknowledge it by saying 'It sometimes doesn't feel good but boy it feels good that I can recognize it now so that I'll get out of 'this not feeling good' and let it pass:) Or some variation like that. This maybe a cheat, but in the beginning it helped me a lot. Now I can shift focus to 'good' feelings quicker when I am 'feeling bad'. IT IS A NEW WAY OF LIVING! Your personality will change you may feel. I felt, this is making me less assertive...

....15 days later, I was doing the same things but did not feel it was making me less assertive. I don't know how, but it took care of itself and guess what? I don't wanna know how and why:) Allow the change to happen to you. If you think its coming from your higher source it will only benefit you:) ...man, I need to edit my comments to be much more crispier:))

@Grace, as for why I thought your tears were probably a good thing is for me it would just mean...umm...in lame man's terms 'detoxifying'. Don't label it, whatever it was, it wanted out of your system and it chose to go via tears:) OR how about this, how about you say your tears were a good thing because you say they were a good thing to have happened at that time:))) You see what I am saying? Oh did I say labels were not good? They are great if you use them positively:))

@Xoomaville, Thank you! Reading your comments has set me on a different level. I understand what you are saying, and I'm feeling hope bubbling up inside, unbidden. And PLEASE don't edit yourself. I think this is why we're all here - to express our opinions and feelings on these matters, to help each other, and to get the answers we need in a way that we can apply them to ourselves...

...I know what you mean, though. I went back and knocked off about half of an answer yesterday, it was more of a dissertation. But all you've said to me has been valuable, and probably not only to me. Thank you again.

@Grace- I read my answer here and feel I want to delete it right now; the fact that I was upset over not having a girl (back then) pointed that I needed someone else to show me how cool I was. HHAHAHHAHAA PATHETIC Nikulas, absolutely pathetic Nikulas. I couldnt give two * whether I had a girl or not. There was a 3 multi-choice answer thing I found on facebook to answer your question easily: Are you: 1) Forever single. 2) forever in a relationship. c) Who cares, I'm still awesome- answer C!