I think it gets tricky because when you are trying to get an ex back the feeling of loss and need is so strong. When you are upset there's just so much resistance. That might be why they skirt around the issue a bit rather than encouraging you to try and break through all that. I'm not sure.

Have you read any of Neville Goddard's work? I feel like he compliments the Abraham material really well because he is still talking about the same principles but it always feels more straight forward and less limiting when he talks about it. For example, he says that if you imagine yourself touching or shaking hands with a certain person to the point where it feels like reality, you will soon meet them in life.

I really like Abraham, but sometimes it helps when you read wider and get a bigger picture.

Abraham, Goddard, Troward, Hopkins, Holmes - all of them indicate that manifestation happens more readily when we let go of the specifics of our desires. In other words, when we stop trying to direct HOW we will get to the feeling state we want, and we just focus on the feeling state. Abraham calls this "going general" until we can access the feeling state we want.

If a person wants to be in a relationship with someone else, they are actually desiring something they think they can get by being in that relationship: a sense of security, a feeling of companionship, an experience of shared interests and passions, great sex, etc. Very often, unfortunately, when a person wants to be in a relationship with a specific person, it is because they imagine the person can supply something to them that no one else can - and that they cannot supply for themselves. This is never true, and the focus on having that thing only from and in the very narrow condition of that specific relationship, makes a very tiny space for the creative powers to work through.

Sometimes a person who believes that a specific relationship is the only answer to their prayer, can find a place of understanding inside where they realize what they are actually wanting - that sense of companionship, playfulness, purpose, or whatever, and can see that there are infinite possibilities for fulfilling this desire. When they stand there, the universe has much more space to work, and can make that fulfillment manifest much more quickly. The manifestation may be a return to that specific relationship, or it may be the blossoming of an even better one.

"The universe is so vast, there are so many ways I can achieve the feeling state I want." This is a general statement which gives the universe a lot of working space. "I want this man, because he is the source of the feeling state I want." is a specific and limiting statement that severely limits the universe - besides not being true.

I have heard Abraham very strongly refuse to engage with limiting statements like the one above. There is no good reason to engage in that conversation, as it works against the manifestation the person says they desire.

I manifested a relationship with a specific person - but only because I wasn't tied to the relationship happening with that person. I have also, in the past, managed to push away a person because I was trying to manifest a relationship with them specifically.

Like others have said in their answers, there is a lot of resistance when you are tied to the fact that a relationship can only happen with that specific person. We may not always be aware of it, but the more we want our results to come in a certain way, the more resistance we will have. And the more we open ourselves up to allowing the Universe to bring our joy in the best ways, the better results we have (that goes for anything btw, not just relationships - you'll have a lot more success manifesting money if you don't NEED it to come in a specific way, and instead just let the Universe decide which way is best and easiest).

Additionally, even if you do manage to overcome the internal resistance and manifest the relationship, the person you have set your sights on may not be able to provide the specific relationship you desire. It's much better to focus on exactly the kind of relationship you want - and if the person is able to match with that, then you'll manifest a relationship with them. You can never know what a relationship with a person will truly be like - you may think someone would be your dream partner, when in fact the relationship could be horrible. Don't get attached to it being a certain person, leave this up to the Universe, because the Universe knows best.

Using my experiences to explain: many years ago, I had a fling with this guy I had a crush on, and I tried every technique I knew in order to manifest a relationship with him. Looking back now, I had a LOT of resistance which I didn't see and didn't address at the time. Well surprise surprise, for no seeming reason at all, he decided that he didn't want to see me any more - and previously, he had been really interested so that was a strange turn of events.

Now to the current relationship I am in. I had an intense crush on this guy for so long. We started seeing each other casually, but he was adamant about not wanting a serious relationship, for personal reasons. So, I continued seeing him once in a while, because it made me happy to spend time with him, but I made sure to enjoy the relationship for what it was, and not place any expectations on it (not as easy as it sounds, it took a lot of dedication and meditation). At the same time, I kept refining my vision of my ideal relationship, and working on manifesting that, without needing it to be him - in fact, I actually thought we wouldn't be compatible at the time, so although I liked him loads, I never thought it would be him.

Well, time passed, and eventually I decided that it was time to let the relationship go, because I was no longer at a point where I could enjoy the relationship for what it was without wanting more from him - and knowing his stance on relationships, I didn't want to pressure him (in words or energy) to be in a relationship with me. So I decided to stop seeing him. But I kept getting all these weird signs from the Universe pointing me back towards him. The last straw was, before a night out I had made an intention to be asked out by someone - anyone, as long as the person was attractive to me. I got my wish, but in the weirdest way - the person who ended up expressing interest in me was someone I could never date, due to the fact that he was closely connected to my guy. It was a totally random event bumping into this person, and I realised it was a clear sign from the Universe that things were not done with my guy.

At this point, I still wasn't sure that we were compatible, but I'm savvy enough not to keep ignoring the Universe, so I was like "FINE Universe, I'll ask him out since you keep fricking insisting!!" (imagine me pouting like a child being told to go clean their room by a parent - that's how I felt, because I was still sure he'd reject me and I didn't want to go through that). But anyway, I told him I liked him too much to continue seeing him casually, and I gave him the choice of either being strictly platonic friends, or to have a relationship. He chose the latter :) It's been 1.5 years now, and we are so super compatible, we've never even had a fight. It is pretty much my dream relationship. So that's my story of manifesting a relationship with a specific person, by actively trying not to manifest a relationship with the person.

The way I answer this question to myself is that you can create your own reality, but you cannot create reality to other people. I mean, a relationship is a co-creation between two or more people, so even if the person in love is convinced that the ex in question is the one, maybe the ex is not feeling the same - the ex doesn't want to co-create that relationship. It makes sense to me that if the person in love focuses on the qualities of the other person and releases resistance, sure enough the person may attract one other, new relationship, with someone with the same qualities. If the person gets stuck wanting just the ex, it seems almost impossible to get the next, and the next and the next...

i agree with your your question and thought about it alot myself. but i must say that abraham always says a brief "yes, you can ,and its hard" and than start their VERY VERY long speech about the "but...but..but" which contredicts their whole loa concept - i know! the first patr of - "you can" - not every one hears cause its really short, and they never elaborate about it. but other people on the web /youtube do.

again- i agree and think they creat in the questioner even more contredictions then they had befor they came in the chair but thats just me. maby someone should put that question to abraham.

also i think it is like that because people are different from things like money or a job when it comes to free will. i think its a matter of control. so yes, we do create our own reality but not others, so we can't create our ex reality ,only ours. but we can create money cause money doesnt have a will it is only a viberation.

so we actually need to co- create. to have both people to want to be together.

Let us keep in mind, Abraham says that in any relationship, we are really looking for the relationship with ourselves. I was searching for the quote I used to have in a file, but can't locate. So here is something from Adamus St. Germain, in the book, Masters in the New Energy. Says essentially the same thing:

"As you go back to the complete trust in self, you can't help but love yourself. When you allow yourself to trust, you discover new parts--or even old parts--of yourself that have been blocked and you just can't help but love and accept yourself. As you get to this point of truly loving yourself don't be afraid to hug yourself. Don't be afraid to admire yourself. Don't be afraid to honor yourself for what you do. Honor yourselves in every way...The relationships are secondary; they tend to work themselves out when you love yourself first. It is only when you don't love yourself that you see this reflected in outside relationships. So, to try to correct the outside relationship without loving your inside relationship is basically futile. It will be very temporary."

I typed that out as much for myself as anyone else. :)