Ever since I passed my Light Initiation my life has changed significantly in ways which is hard to put into words. The passing of this stage is only the beginning of the next stage in which I must pass but it once again has cost me everything in my immediate life. The sacrifices one has to make can be disheartening. The challenges I now face are much greater than ever before and being a fighter I welcome these challenges but sometimes there are beings from higher realms/other realms including in this realm who do not wish for me to succeed/progress for fear of what I may become and they will do what it takes to ensure my failure or keep me distracted at the very least. On the other hand my Spiritual Guides continue to work with me daily to make sure that I continue my Spiritual Journey at any/every cost in which can be slightly overwhelming at times as I still have a hard time accepting my life's purpose in this incarnation as it seems to me to be wildly preposterous and possibly farfetched at times considering I used to be an atheist but yet I persevere nevertheless as I am ultimately kind of curious to see where this all leads to.

Recently I just had to halt everything in my life including speaking with my Spiritual Guides as I am really having a hard time adjusting to it all no matter how strong and brave I believe myself to be and my so called enemies did not waste any time attacking me until I had to create an esoteric energy field around my residence for protection and around me when I leave my residence. When I look into the world I see nothing but hardship and calamity everywhere in the here and now especially in the next coming years. I believe that if I had accepted my Life's journey 20 years ago things would be so different in the World in which we live in today. I'm really having a hard time accepting what my Spiritual Guides are telling me let alone who they believe I will become and what I will do in the near future for Humanity and for other nearby Planets within our Galaxy and nearby Galaxies in which our Governments refuse to inform us about so that they can profit on the new gained technology as they have in the last 70 years or so. What I see in my visions when I meditate is really hard for me let alone for anyone else to accept as a possible future for myself and for this planet and the more I stall the more calamity seems to materialize onto this planet hence the Ukrainian/Russia war after experiencing 2 horrible years of the covid-19 pandemic among the other atrocities we have witnessed throughout our lifetimes let alone all the atrocities from prior generations. It just never stops no matter how evolve we believe ourselves to be.

I have no-one to talk to in this physical realm and the only ones who support me are from the Higher realms eventhough there are others in the very same realms who are trying to sabotage my progression. You see most believe that the 5th dimension is Heaven so to speak which is far from the real truth. There is just less baggage in those higher realms compared to the 3D realm but the yin and yang of things still exist even in the higher realms all the way up to the 25th dimension just with less intensity compared to the 3D realm. Mind you I haven't astral travelled beyond the 25th as of yet.

My Spiritual Guides keep calling me "The Keyholder" among a few other Light Being references lol and that I will eventually show the World "a new way of living" but I am nobody just a regular dude who at one time believed I was cursed with a few abilities in which had always got me into some kind of trouble one way or another. I tried blocking them from my life because I just wanted a normal life like everyone else but my Spiritual Guides were relentless in their pursuit of showing me "Who I really Am" and what I am capable of doing. It's been a super hard journey no matter how hard I tried to dismiss it all. I have seen many of my past lives with my Spiritual Guides assistance and of course it was all very hard to accept. But I now see how it is all connected with who I am in this incarnation.

I apologize for this long comment but how does one reveal themselves in so many words without sounding kind of bonkers or divulging too much information eventhough after reading this a few times I even questioned or not if I should submit this question and my comment. I even sought advice and consultation from those who claim to be Psychic and only got disappointment because they can only see what their Guides allows them to see and one has to be pure of heart, mind and soul in order to Guide others to their real truth and most psychics weren't. Now I did meet 2 individuals throughout this lifetime who truly believed in my quest but one called me "The King of Kings" lmao as he was a Christian Missionary who also had psychic abilities and the other one who was a Native Medicine Woman who called me a Starseed and who also got very excited and thanked me in advanced for finally accepting my Life's Purpose without really providing me with any advice or guidance because they both truly believed that I already knew the answers in which I was seeking .... but I didn't ... I didn't even know what a Starseed was and I was totally lost and confused at the time and never felt so alone in the physical realm on this so called Spiritual Quest. You see it's really hard for me to accept what has been taught to me over the years and when I pulled back, my life would always fall apart which fueled my anger sometimes because I could not understand their old school form of discipline and teachings and when I returned to my Spiritual path once again then everything in which I missed during my brief fallout ... well they would floor me with all kinds of information and introduce me to new abilities to make up for lost time which was a lot to take in all at once. They my Spiritual Guides believed that I could handle it but it always came at a very high price in which I just could not understand the purpose of this kind of suffering as I believed it was truly unnecessary and kind of old school of days long gone.

Some has said stop being a baby and go with it but it is a lot easier said than done and if it was them going through it they probably would have had a nuclear breakdown. After passing my so called "Light Initiation" I really thought that my life would get soooo much easier but was I ever wrong. There is a lot of misinformation online about passing the Light Initiation and for those who did pass it in Earth's history well they ALL left the Planet and were never heard of again. I don't want to be one of those people and I do want to help this World as much as I can but ...

How does one accept their life's purpose even if it sounds totally absurd and a little farfetched without losing their minds? Omg!!! I should have just stuck to being a musician playing in bands travelling from city to city (Ahh i was so happy then) instead of trying to understand the real truths that are not being told to us by those who control the all in all on this Planet or should I say our so called peers of society. Our families have been generationally programmed to believe in what was taught to them as good slaves should live their lives so my family did everything possible to convince me that my path was not worth taking and to abide by the 45 year plan as everyone else is doing. I do have to admit that at one time I didn't think Humanity was really worth saving because of the continuous wars in every generation, the sufferings the controllers bring on to us daily, the unrealistic 45 year plan of survival that they had brainwash us into believing, racism and division among almost every nation from the beginning of this civilization including those prior to ours and the list just goes on and on but after seeing what those beautiful and bravve Ukrainians are going through ... it just breaks my heart and inspires me to fight even harder no matter how much the odds are stacked against me. But I am just one individual trying to accept this World for what it is and to accept what and who I truly am. I do understand why the others who had passed the Light Initiation in Earth's history had left this World without looking back. I fight it every day and know deep down I will be so much happier than I am now by far if I was just to leave this planet as the others did. But something inside of me wants me to stick around and try to truly help as many as I can and hopefully bring new changes that this World so desperately needs.

But I do know ... I cannot do this alone. All of the Awaken Ones must find their true selves and assist me for what is about to come next in our Human evolution. Together we can change the ways of this World. Divided ... well the visions I see of a possible future for Earth does not look very good at all and it seems like the controllers of this planet are doing what they can to keep us divided as much is possible. But the future has not been written yet and I know I am not the only one out of almost 8 billion Souls who is going through the very same thing that I am going through now and together we can accomplish what has never been done before in Earth's history. I will persevere as I always do as soon as I accept what is being asked of me. It just feels amazing letting this all out and leaving myself completely transparent and vulnerable. Hopefully after sharing what little that I did that this is not the end of me as there are many who do not want change but only want to torture us, control us while they continue to rake Billions of dollars from all of us and continue to torture us all daily without any regards to our feelings and well-being. I have also seen a brighter future for Humanity but the path will not be an easy one and time is not on our side as the calamity will continue to worsen until their agenda is completed unless we pull together and stop them all in their tracks.

Peace, Love n Light

UPDATE: This is an update after spending some time reflecting on my thoughts, spending some time with my Spiritual Guides and astral travelling to my safe place beyond the Earth realm.

My Spiritual Guides has advised me that eventhough I had passed my Light Initiation that we are not perfect beings. I am what is considered a beginner ascended master and I use that term loosely because I do not like the word master as it has an egoistic connotation to it and would prefer the term ascended being. I am learning to fine tune my abilities and there are some work to do to perfect these new found abilities. Some believe that after passing your Light Initiation that we become Beings beyond the abilities of Luke Skywalker as @Stingray has demonstrated in a video below lol which is not the case until we develop those skills of mastery if one wishes to. The possibilities are endless as every individual are different. I have a lot of emotional baggage carried through many lifetimes and at times we forget who we are even for just a moment or even a few weeks like in my case but it doesn't change what we have learnt through the various stages of the Initiation process. I am not too sure on how many stages there were in total as some of the initiations were subtle whereas others not so much and everything I have learnt was through meditation with the help of my Spiritual Guides without the influence of man nor the internet. I am presently still learning and evolving as an individual and probably will for lifetimes to come. We are who we are no matter how high we believe we have Ascended.

They also reminded me that the loses I had to endure was part of the process whether I liked it or not, whether I accepted it or not. I took this very personal because like everyone on this planet, we strive so hard to make a comfortable life for ourselves while being here in this incarnation and to lose all that we have acquired can be disheartening and so discouraging. These so called desires, intentions, and vibrations did not correspond to that of my Spiritual path of Ascension and therefore were removed from my life as they were nothing but a distraction. So I had to isolate myself and to not participate in worldly affairs if I wanted to devote myself to the path of inner growth and awareness. It has taught me devotion and understanding, a deepening of my inner life, but it has also brought me loneliness and a sense of alienation when it comes to life here on Earth, life among people and to those who I hold dear to my heart.

For the meantime I am now in the process of discovering some new abilities and learning to fine tune them in order to be an active force here on Earth. My physical body is trying to adjust to the Light I am bringing into my body but sometimes my emotional body interferes and can complicate the process but only for a short time. Most times my body is fine and is adjusting well but every now and then as in my case I allow my emotions to get the very best of me hence the question I have asked here on InnerQuest. On top of that, being an atheist complicated matters greatly as I had soooo many questions/arguments to this whole Ascension process unlike those who faith was never an issue.

I remember when I was in my early 20's, my Spiritual Guides told to forget everything I knew about myself, everything that was taught to me without losing my identity in the process. I thought that would be an easy task but holycrap was I ever wrong. I obviously had no idea what that truly meant and the following years was a test of everything I thought defined me as an individual. "Letting Go" was so much tougher than it sounds or others would led you to believe. Where I originate from, is nothing like what this World has to offer by far. Since I was a child I could not understand why the Humans of this World were so violent, judgmental, narcissistic, cruel, uncaring and the list just goes on and on without and form of justification. I never ever felt like I belonged here but I had to adapt in order to survive here on this cruel, violent, greedy and uncaring Planet.

Anyways ... I have allowed myself once again to upset the balance within me by my own actions which is perfectly normal when one first passes the Light Initiation process as everyone goes through it. @Stingray did say something that made a lot of sense ... "When you are tuned in to who you really are, the only person that can stop you is you" ... which is sooo true. Every individual is different and sometimes our lower bodies can haunt us at times. One only has to balance about 60% of our karma in order to Ascend not a 100% like some would believe. There is just too many past lives that most have no memories of to deal with in order to fully balance all of our karma.

When I began this Journey I was in it for myself like everyone else and I was going to leave the first chance I had if and when the opportunity presented itself. I just wanted to go home where I truly belong and leave this World behind me. Well I had that chance and still do but something inside of me reminds me that I am not just here for myself, to connect with my own soul or to experience my own Divinity but that my Life's Purpose is much greater than me myself and I ... it's to share my Divine knowledge and experiences with the World as many of us are presently doing to transcend the negative energies of this World even in times of great calamity and societal unrest.

As soon as I fine tune the new abilities I have recently learnt ... I will then be able to assist my other sisters and brothers who have volunteered to stay behind in helping humanity in ways no-one has ever witnessed before throughout our history and teach others how to unlock their fullest potential to help bring in a New Era in Human Evolution on Earth. There is so much to learn and I am back on my Journey after a brief fallout ... mainly because my Spiritual Guides can be a little annoying at times and won't leave me alone lol just kidding lol but I love Them soooo much and They know it and I am very grateful and thankful that they have never ever given up on me no matter how emotional I can get with them and especially when I have given up on myself at times.

Many religious and political systems carry oppresive energies convincing us or should I say brainwashed us into believing that we are bad, unruly, uncaring and have gone astray which is not the Spiritual Way. They have created commandments, rules, limitations, duties, divisions, discrimination against other races and genders (for example some religions even today believe a female has no right to education let alone no rights whatsoever in society ... really? in 2022 unbelievable) and they restrain us from truly expressing our True Selves, and have smothered our ability to Love, to feel Joy, to respect one another for our differences among other wonderful attributes that truly defines us as a Human Race.

So no matter how dark our World can get at times ... LIGHT always win in the long run. We just need more LOVE in this World to experience the PEACE we soooo long for to bring in the "NEW ERA" in Human evolution that will benefit ALL OF US.

Peace, Love n Light