What made you ask the question?

First of all blubird I want to thank you for asking this question. It made me really think and feel and search in side of myself for the answer that would be apropriate for me and really reflect on the beliefs that I already have and 'tweak' them, if necessary, to be more of who I am becoming each day.

So I feel this question is very multidimensional I want to treat it as that and look at it from many viewpoints -- starting from the personal and going up to the universal.

First of all, we live in a free will planet. That means for me that everyone is responsible for the choices and decisions that they have made before and that our actions and deeds WILL be reflected in our lives, no matter how much we will be trying to escape them.

So first of all -- What was your life like after you started stealing? How did you felt after you stole your first car? Did you still anything smaller in the past? What was it? What was the first thing you stole? What did you feel before you stole that first thing and why did you feel that? And don't say 'I don't know', because you do. You might'ev suppressed and tried not to think of it for all this time, but the answer is within you and to be able to make yourself free, you have to dig deep and search, search and search some more until you will be convinced, without a shadow of a doubt, that you have resolved that issue and can move on with your life.

What can that be? What could you ever be running away from? Problems at home? Personality disorder? Money problems? Well, they all come from somewhere -- where do they come from? Why do you think that you can't forgive yourself? Why do you feel guilt towards your daughter? Is it because you haven't given her a good example as a father? Or because you never told her the truth about who you were in the past and she always felt this 'dark secret' lingering over you?

You see, everything that you feel and have right now is a chain reaction on the choices you made in the past and the only way for you to let og of it is to examine and find out "What is it in past that made me who I am today?"

So for me personally I had the most challenge in my youth being the younger son and my brother being the first born in the whole family. He was 'the best' in everything -- the best in sports, learning, social contacts, openess, eventually girls and so on. And me? I was always envy of him. I always wanted what he had -- undivided attention of everybody, but I couldn't figure out how to get it, because in my mind 'I was never good enough'.

That belief perpetuated and it has caused me to feel sorry for myself most of my life and eventually lead me to a depression so deep that I finally broke down in tears saying to myself - "You know you did it to yourself, right? Stop blaiming everything and everyone for your shortcomings and start changing your life today, because your life doesn't work right now."

That one thought, one feeling that I've had was what made all the difference to me -- I took responsibility for my life and slowly and gradually started changing, but it wasn't at all easy and nice at first.

I was slowly forced to look at myself objectively and I saw that I wasn't as good as I always thought. You see, people think that it are always 'them' that are the bad ones, and I am the only rightouess and good. And the funny thing about it is -- Everybody thinks that about themselves! We are first to judge others and condemn their deeds, but when it comes down to us, we can forgive and find excuses for ourselves very quickly.

But when you start on this self-improvement path you can't leave any stone unturned. Actually you can, but you won't! You will want to examine and make yourself in to the highest possible version of personality possible, to 'be as the Father in Heaven', the ultimate blueprint for all personality.

So for me what was a big awakening was to have in-sights into my own thought-patterns and behaviors and seeing that who I was didn't start with me either.

You see, my grandmother, my fatehrs mom, she and her two sister grew without parents who were killed during the World War II. She was about 10 years old and her sisters were about the same age as her. So they practically were raised on their own and not having what to eat more often than not. Those were really terrible times where most looked only for themselves. They often ate potato peels and that was the only meal for the whole day.

So she grew up, became a teacher, had three sons, a husband and eventually retired, but she never fully got over her parents death. I don't judge her in any way, shape and form, I'm just making an honest observation about her current circumstances in life. And what are those?

Well, because of the lack of food when she was younger, she become someone who hords as much food as she can and she always makes other people eat as much as they can each time they visit her. We always were curious why she had like 20 kilos of sugar in her basement that was still from the 1990s'. She always said 'Oh, it could come in handy one day.'

But we all knew that it wouldn't because it expired a long time ago.

So the circumstances in her life changed but she didn't -- she still lives like a little, scared girl, trying to accumulate as much as she can being afraid that she might lose it one day, just like her parents.

So what does it have to do with me? Well, she adopted a belief 'THere is not enough food to go around' so she has dedicated her life to fulfill that belief. So, as a very empathic human being, my father, being raised in that household, adopted a similar belief -- 'There is not enough of ... to go around.' What is the blank? It isn't food, mind you, because my grandmother made sure of that there would always be food on the table in her home, no matter what.

So what he put there was 'money'. It was a constant struggle for him. He always lacked self-confidence, but he was so good at masking it, because he adopted a way of being called 'the best defense is attack'. So he got very sarcastic and could always kick someone so low that you just couldn't believe it. He smelled your weaked point and went straight for it, and so did I later on, but not yet.

But our society rewards those kinds of people. He seemed confident and sure of himself so he got really good jobs, but he always screwed himself out of them. It's also because he had low self-esteem and he always felt somebody will 'look thorough' him. So he changed his jobs from excellent, to very good, to good, to so-so, and today he is a construction worker, 54 years of age, working physically, while he could also be an owner of such a company like in 80s'.

But it doesn't matter. What matters is the belief 'There is not enough money to go around' and even tough we always had it in our household it could always be gone the next day. So that's how my parents lived their life -- accumulating as much money as they could, but never spending it to actually LIVE their lives to the fullest, and it was because of that belief.

SO now me -- what was it for me? Well not food, you can be sure about that. Money, sure, a little, but not really as my parents. Affection, love, attention, feeling good about myself -- for me it was 'Not enough love to go around for everybody', because my brother had it all -- he focused all the attention of the whole family on himself and no one protested. I was like the shadow, lurking through my life, and in the deepest part of myself feeling envy and at the same time not worthy of the praise that he got.

Believe when I say that he was a really supreme example of someone who could use this attention.

I wasn't so I started to run away from my feelings the way I knew how -- one was obsessively watching movies, playing video games etc. and the other one was food.

So, when I was 14, I became an obese teenager with the subconscious fear of the world, but not on the outside. On the outside I was like my father. I adopted the belief that 'the best defense is attack' and I used my oratoral skills to bring everyone down in my surroundings as eloquently and chrmingly as I could.

In fact most of the 'friends' I had I believe where really scared of me, because I could just smell their fear and I never hold back. I really said what I wanted and when I wanted without considering any consequences of my actions. But they were coming, believe me when I say that.

I held one more belief that came from my mothers side and it was 'Have sex only with a woman that can be a mother of your children'. It stuck with me. From hearing it on and on since I was a kid "I bought into it'. But my brother didn't. He was a 'playboy' and I was envied him. I really felt in my heart that he was hurting the girls and women he slept with and just simply went on to the next one.

And I couldn't take it. Because of my sharp tounge girls were really interested in me. They were fascinated with me because I said and did what I wanted. But the belief I held was that I evaluated every single woman and I could always find something wrong with her. I wanted the mother of my children to be perfect, but none of them were. On the other hand, those which I felt attracted to, I wasn't good enough for them.

I created for myself a perfect hell -- a prison in my own head, which had nothing to do with the reality of what was really going on around me.

Oh, nad I had one more cheerful belief -- 'Man don't cry'. Yes, yes, it was me ladies and gentleman. I got home one day when I was about 10 years old, after I got my ass kicked, and my mother looked at me and gave a look saying 'Be a man, don't cry'. I believe that she didn't mean anything bad about it, but from that day forward I stopped expressing my emotions. I kept everything inside, being afraid to let somebody in.

And that's also why I didn't want to let any woman in - from fear of finding out that I wasn't so 'cool' after all.

Oh man, it really feels great writing about it. In fact I have a smile on my face right now, when in the past I would probably kill before I would say those things to anyone.

So the combination of those beliefs, and many more things, led me to running away from my feelings in all sorts of ways. First it was TV and food. Later on, in high school, it was alcohol and than college -- marijuana.

Oh man -- two years of smoking marijuana of almost a daily basis. I was living in a dorm with a drug dealer and I've had all the supply I ever needed. It was harmless at first, but as time moved on the first thing on my mind when I woke up or when I was going to sleep was 'Will I have a joint to smoke tomorrow?'

It was a really the darkest period of my life -- I was slowly losing my confidence even in being cocky and funny. I started to stumble and forget what I was saying a minute before. I was really starting to be afraid of myself, that I killed so many grey cells in mu brain that I would never be 'normal' again.

Yet I still kept at it because of the fear of facing reality of what it really was -- a terrible and hostile place for me back then.

But then, a miracle. I finally found a woman to 'impregnate', but it wasn't what I tought it would be. I was a virgin in the age of 24 and she was few years younger and much more experienced. It was really laughable and pathetic on my part trying to have sex with her. Ha ha ha, really funny :)

But anyway, it ended rather quickly, about two weeks later, but man I went to forget about it the best way I could. One month of partying, drinking and smoking all day long. And it brought me to the lowest point in my life, to my 'moment of clarity'. After calling that woman a bitch in my head for a months time, I finally had the tought from the beginning of this post "Stop fucking blaming her for your shortcomings. Thank her for a beautiful angel that she is in disguise and start changing your life.'

That was over three years ago and almost nothing preserved from who I was then and who I am now -- everything changed.

The reason why I'm writing all of this down is for everyone what is and will be reading this in the future that this is the way to go -- Honesty with yourself and genuine and true introspection of circumstances in your life will lead you on a way of freedom and happiness. Taking responsibility for your life and your choices is tha key to changing anything.

You see, the realisations that I've had about my grandmother, my father, mother and brother, have helped me to forgive them. But it wasn't them I was forgiving. The truth is, which came to me with time, was that I was always working on forgiving myself, because I was always in control of my life.

I CHOSE to adopt those beliefs and I'm happy and greatful that I did. I love myself for choosing ALL of this, ALL of my struggles, ALL of my experiences, because without them, I wouldn't exist. I wouldn't be here writing these words to you and telling you that what you are is beautiful and perfect and everything you did right until this moment is perfectou may not see it as that form the place you are right now in, from this limited perpective, but form high above, from where you are going to, on your ascension journey, you will look at these times of struggle as one of the most inspiring and exciting times you will ever have.

I believe that because I don't imagine ever to feel so down, do depressed, so unworthy, so alone as I did in those years. And in all honesty, in all the truthfullness I can say is that I wouldn't trade one bad feeling, change one sigle thing in my life.

But it doesn't also mean that I would do everything the same again. The thing about getting experiences is getting also in-sights and knowing consequences of our actions. Self-reflection is the key to freedom. Using your mind for what it was designed to do -- knowing how things are happening right now and were happening in before and knowing beforehand what can you expect if you go this road or that road and choosing accordingly what you prefer.

That's it and that's ALL to it. There is no judgment in that place, there is no regret. There is just pure and utter acceptance and tolerance for the choices you have made and the being you have been. So thank the past. Send yourself all the love, all the compassion, all the forgiveness you can muster up inside you.

Be the change that needs to happen. Be the forgiveness that needs to happen for this world to become an ecstatic explosion of love and truth. Be truthfull, first with yourself, than with others. Tell your story without holding anything back and by doing that you will inspire others to do it to. ANd that's how you will change the world and yourself.

I think the comment Traveller left, regarding unresolved issues is at the root of your question.

By asking for comments here it seems you haven't resolved the issue. Even though you've paid your time by society's standards, it seems that you're still holding yourself in prison.

Things obviously happened in your life to cause you to commit such a crime and think it was okay at the time. By staying caught up in that you continue to sentence yourself - the court may as well have sentenced you to life imprisonment, because that's what you're doing to yourself. And you're not fooling any of us by saying you don't consider yourself to be dishonest - the only one you're possibly fooling is yourself.

The only way to move past this is to forgive yourself and the only way to do this is to realize, at that moment in time, you were acting from an unconscious perspective. You can only help your daughter by letting go of the guilt - so use this as your motivation, you can only help her by forgiving yourself, do both of you a favour.

You may not be able to make recompense to those you stole from , but you can find ways in your life to help others in some way - you don't need to move mountains to do this, small well meant gestures will suffice as easily as grandiose ones as long as they come from the heart this will help you in the process of letting go.

You have it within you to put this behind you and make the rest of your life experience a more worthy one - you can do it.

Have you forgiven yourself of dishonesty, if so, you can now feel proud that you no longer behave inappropriately, and you have taken control of your life in a positive way!

Since you cannot turn back the hands of time, you would be wise not to look back, to leave the past in the past, and to move on gracefully into a new direction!

Also keep in mind that no one is perfect, and mistakes do happen in life, and if you have taken the time to honestly forgive yourself, and that you are positive that you have matured pass the problem, you will be cheered on by caring hearts into the future!

Yesterday is the past, today is the present, but today will become the past tomorrow, and tomorrow will be the future that will become the past!

Blubird there was just a story on Yahoo news about a man that stole credit from people professionally. He now works with the CIA or maybe FBI to show how he and what people like him does this. Because of him they caught very many people, but this is only part he as well teaches people how to protect their credit so that they can not get their credit stolen so easily as he said it was for him.

He now makes his living off the same crime but from the good side, the side that helps and benefits people.

Let God guide you in how you can use your knowledge for the building and expansion of God's kingdom. How can you make things better and be of service to humanity to add value to the experience of life not only to you but as well everyone else? People pay you for being a valuable service to them, you could go from being the hated villain of society to the loved and appreciated hero for society.

Just being here looking for help says to me to use a StarWars metaphor you are working on switching from the dark side to the light side. Don't just give up what you have learned, how can you use it to expand God's kingdom on earth?

What do you want us to say? You created a violation to others and yourself. Being in difficult situations does not make it right to violate another person because that violation is also applied to yourself. It just makes for a difficult type of lifestyle. You carry a potential of stealing with you for the rest of your life. Try to help people in getting their cars back. Maybe you will get a sense of the despair that you put them through. Peace be with you.