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Does it depend on the person, or in all times if somebody is truly in love and satisfied from the relationship, would never desire another woman? Can you be trully happily married if you desire another woman?
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Not to side with the man who cheats and desires another woman, however, it is very possible for him to truly love his wife and desire and cheat with other women. Is is right or wrong? It's all relative. It's only right or wrong if you think it is--just like everything else in life. As Bashar says: NOTHING HAS ANY BUILT-IN MEANING OTHER THAN THE MEANING WE GIVE TO IT. 100% of time. No exclusions. Again, not condoning or supporting cheating, dishonesty, affairs, etc., however this is a thought-based forum and we must remember that a husband and wife in this situation attracted each other and their circumstances. |
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Can you be truly happily married if you desire another woman? The answer to this, in my mind, is a resounding, "NO!" A person who is marries, and has taken vows to be monogamous, should not be hunting other women or men, for that matter. This "hunting" indicates a certain dissatisfaction of mind and a cavalier attitude that is not in line with those vows to "cleave only unto each other". Long before my divorce was filed, my husband was cheating me by hunting on the Internet for the visions of other women. He set in motion a chain of events that finally ended our marriage. I think anything other than monogamy in both mind and spirit means that the commitment is just not there. Good luck and blessings out to the Web, Jai That is what i believe as well. However this particular man is convinced that he is truly happy. I think that he just conceals his feelings and do not accept that it is not right. I think that this is example of denial of feelings. Should I believe him that he is happy?
(13 Mar '11, 20:36)
marki
No! How can a person be "happy" loving one person and feeling lust for another? It just does not compute....Blessings....
(13 Mar '11, 20:44)
Jaianniah
Or may be this is skill only man possess...
(13 Mar '11, 20:48)
marki
1
Or may be he is being denied the element that is available outside his marriage . I am not saying I condone it, I am just saying, I have met men who dearly love their wives but are held at arms length when it comes to intimacy, sometimes for years and as punishment for perceived misdemeanours , so in this respect I do understand how it can happen . Unless one has all the facts or living it there can be pieces missing from the puzzle to outsiders .
(27 Dec '12, 23:01)
Starlight
women cheat also and for a longuer period. so it is a skill that women possess, also should i add that it takes a women to cheat with the men. then why does those women go out with married men?in the hope of getting the men,then can women really complain about men?
(29 Dec '12, 04:39)
white tiger
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Based on my 25 years of marriage my answer to your question is a resounding, no. You can't be truly, happily married if you desire another. For this desire indicates a lack in the existing relationship. Looking outside for satisfaction instead of working within the marriage framework is an indication of major issues within the relationship. thank you, namaste As you know, I agree! Jai
(13 Mar '11, 20:30)
Jaianniah
very good answer @daniele.
(17 Jan '13, 02:07)
white tiger
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Yes, you can deeply love your wife and seek sex with someone else. Millions of people do. Many people carry on fullfilling relationships which give both parties security and love, whilst carrying on with another sexual partner. I know thats not going to be a popular answer, but its perfectly true. Now i know some will say" but you cant really love someone and have sex with someone else" and in their case that may be true...for them. But its not true for everyone. Monty 1
@Monty Riviera- another good down to earth answer ... love it; this answer may give headaches to some people but when we have a headache is that not a sign of misalignment? bb2
(11 Jan '13, 02:05)
blubird two
I gave you the first up vote. I couldn't get my comment to stick. I agree; not my thing; never-the-less, what you state is true.
(11 Jan '13, 02:11)
ele
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@Monty Riviera You are right. I think a man can love his wife and seek sex elsewhere BUT he usually has to lie and deceive to do so and that's the problem. Open marriages are fine if both parties agree - but then the very term open marriage is a contradiction so why be married?
(11 Jan '13, 03:02)
Catherine
Thanx guys....thought id get a harder time for posting that. Must also add that im not advocating or practising an affair.Just noticing the way things sometimes are.
(11 Jan '13, 14:00)
Monty Riviera
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heard this on the way home and reminded me of this q&a http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxptQ_75mQw
(11 Jan '13, 19:22)
ursixx
@Catherine Yes, people have open marriages for many reasons some of which are family, financial or for insurance purposes & are in name only. I know a number of couples who are 'swingers' (swap partners) & do not have open marriages. It would be reason for divorce if one was to cheat. These couples have been married for years & years - decades. Neither are my thing; but to each their own.
(11 Jan '13, 21:04)
ele
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@ele It depends a bit on ones definition of marriage I suppose - yeah, you're right Ele "each to his own".
(12 Jan '13, 04:28)
Catherine
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If cheating is perfectly find and normal then why don't everyone just talk about it in front of their children, or talk about it at the dinner table with their family..... or talk about it with their spouse. If it's normal then don't hide it, just bring it out in the open. Who cares...
(12 Jan '13, 11:58)
Evolutionary High
@evolutionary high what is normal? and if cheating would be perfectly find we would not be talking about it right now would we? as for children parent do not want them to see what is wrong or not working properly in this world.to at least give those children a good life as children,let those children stay innocent and not tainted by the darkness of this world. cheating is not open marriage. because if both partner in the relationship have sex with other and they both know it it is not cheating.
(14 Jan '13, 03:41)
white tiger
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Hello marki Attraction is universal especially between opposite sexes ... for me it seems perfectly natural to feel sexually attracted to someone whether we are married or not ... whether we act on that desire depends on the kind of relationship we have with our partner ... in an ideal unconditional love relationship we allow our partner to follow the path that they find most pleasurable, including sexual relations with other partners so long as our partner enjoys what they do and are honest about it ... what damages a couple is not so much what they do but more a question of what is commonly known as cheating, that is, doing things behind their back, thus creating the feeling of being partially excluded from the life of the one that we most love ... i would go so far as to say that consenting multiple sexual relations can strengthen the couple ... have fun :) Epilogue ... whenever we are attached to a person, or to any other thing or cause, it creates inner tension which lowers our vibration and hinders our ability to manifest, in this case a good marriage or partnership ... multiple sexual relations dissolves the emotions of attachment and allows real love to shine through, the couple can become a lot happier ... "attachment leads to suffering" Buddha 1
When someone has been cheated they usually get mad. No, let me rephrase,... When someone's illusion of control and ownership has been destroyed by action of another, ego, I, the master of all "my", the delusional sense of identity, scream in madness. Uncontrolled lust for security, turns people into hyenas. Marriage in a way is a promise, and each promise is nothing but a chain. We promise so much everyday, we are wearing chainmail of promises. It is heavy, but we don't put it off...
(28 Dec '12, 07:01)
CalonLan
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...because majority of people, the insecure people, proclaim - Look, a knight in shinning armor! People fear letting go of control and ownership, because they would have to abandon all sense of life, all things they identify themselves with. They would have to abandon their I, the self. And become no-self. And so people live in hell, fueling fire of desire and wants, and at the same time they want to break free of it...and be happy...but they don't want to let go their desires.
(28 Dec '12, 07:06)
CalonLan
Too, too funny! I can't tell you how many times I've looked at these comments & every time I do, it's the same - You guys crack me up! I can't stop laughing! I've noticed the humorous banter between the two of you for awhile. Vibrational match? Love it! Thanks!
(03 Jan '13, 04:19)
ele
@calonlan look at the picture http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/9192109/2/stock-photo-9192109-portrait-of-young-woman-wearing-dog-collar-and-leash.jpg smile. well one is the driver and the other one the passenger.the passenger can learn and enjoy the ride and can collaborate and participate. if they agree and are happy it is good. before men and women add different roles now they share task. some task are still men and some other are still women.should they judge each other?
(03 Jan '13, 07:00)
white tiger
@blu "i would go so far as to say that consenting multiple sexual relations can strengthen the couple" I would say it depends on the couple & looking back at all the couples I know who did this; I'd say less than half survived. Hope you don't mind me saying this - you've sure come a long way - your heart finally mended. I'm glad! BTW, the spice & s & p still cracks me up!
(13 Jan '13, 03:43)
ele
@ele-yes it can be a very bum'py ride :) ... bonne nuit
(13 Jan '13, 05:28)
blubird two
@White Tiger C'mon White Tiger - I've got young children and I don't particularly want them asking me why I'm looking at pictures like that - show a little respect.
(17 Jan '13, 02:00)
Catherine
@Catherine what are you talking about?am i responsible of your choice to look at anny picture?am i responsible of your opinion? you are casting a stone at me saying to show you respect but you are the one that have not respected the living one in your presence.
(17 Jan '13, 02:26)
white tiger
@White Tiger It would be a shame if I didn't feel I could click on any image/ideo you post as I have enjoyed some of the kung fu videos you have posted. You're right though - you have freewill so it is over to you. It was a request to tone it down.
(17 Jan '13, 04:29)
Catherine
@Catherine if you enjoy the image i post why are you complaining? in this case you are referring to the image that i have told @calonlan to look at to explain him something.but you cannot understand that and need to judge. why because the woman is wearing a collar if she like it that way it is her choice. should we judge people because of what they wear or do not wear?should we judge people for looking at different image? why do you judge this image of a woman with collar as bad she could have-
(17 Jan '13, 04:45)
white tiger
wear a necklace or engagement ring or wedding dress and it is still a sign or symbol of bondage.and that she belong to her man:wedding vows do you promess to honor and submit and obey your husband?what about a tatoo with the name of her man on her? it exist in this world even if you try to ignore it. you as woman if you have children you must belong to your man.why judge?who is with out sin to judge another?
(17 Jan '13, 05:01)
white tiger
@Catherine You have to start reading the words in the link before clicking. I know enough too & didn't bother to look. I agree w/you, he doesn't seem to have any respect for women. I recall you politely asking him to stop posting pic's of nude women wrapped in a red bows on another thread. I didn't bother to look at it cause I read the link & your comment first. I had no real issue with it; but did think it very inappropriate. If anything, a pic of a nude man wrapped in a bow would have been
(19 Jan '13, 23:35)
ele
been been more appropriate to send to a female user who he had a little crush on. Well, you've asked him twice & if he continues to do so; you have the choice to view or not to - that's what I do.
(19 Jan '13, 23:36)
ele
@white tiger You said "wear a necklace or engagement ring or wedding dress and it is still a sign or symbol of bondage.and that she belong to her man" & you also said "wedding vows do you promess to honor and submit and obey your husband?" "Bondage" & "belong to" - women are NOT property or possessions. I thought you said men & women were equal? Doesn't sound like it. What century are you living in? Wedding vows in civilized countries do not contain the words submit or obey!
(19 Jan '13, 23:39)
ele
@ele- what i mean by "consenting multiple sexual relations can strengthen the couple" ... the inevitable emotional evolution that results, breaks the illusion of the symbol of marriage; sexual intercourse symbolizes the "marriage" of the conscious and the subconscious, the union of male and female ... each participating individual "marries" the male/female energies within and thus becomes more whole as an individual.
(20 Jan '13, 09:31)
blubird two
@white tiger just a little tip bro: Some places that questers read and click are more sensitive than others: So if you add NSFW next to your link it would be a great courtesy in the future. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NSFW
(20 Jan '13, 09:59)
ursixx
@Catherine Keep up the good work! I like to forewarned. In regards to that other ?, I wonder how many people reading along were thinking "Does that guy have any pants on." I don't judge; but I did laugh thinking about what others who don't know him very well might be thinking. Poor guy.
(20 Jan '13, 23:42)
ele
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@ursixx Thanks. Hope your bro takes your advice. You should get a job at the UN. You're more than the link guy - you're the loop - the linkage - you're the Amazing Loop God of IQ - the one who connects us all plus builds bridges to make laughter the universal language. You're awesome!
(20 Jan '13, 23:45)
ele
@ele can you deny that a women wants to belong with a men that she loves? if you have to chaste eyes to look at some image it is from you not from me.if you need to judge again it comes from you.you like to deny what you do not want to see because of your own judgement.yes i told you before men and women are equal and each have a part to play. even between men when a men get maried we say that he will have the rope pass to the neck meaning that he will belong to the women.
(20 Jan '13, 23:57)
white tiger
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that is something each spouse, no doubt, either believes or practices. Sorry Fred I don`t get what you mean...:(
(13 Mar '11, 20:42)
marki
marki,seemed as though the question was asked to get a consensus opinion of why it is happening, when it may be more of a personal thing.
(14 Mar '11, 20:32)
fred
@fred- yes it is the obvious truth that "cheating" takes place a lot ... this often breaks the relationship ... agreed it is a disrupting experience but if both partners are willing and can transcend the situation, then their relationship can become deeper and stronger ... as you say it is of course a very personal thing ... :)
(29 Dec '12, 02:22)
blubird two
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It is in the nature of man to lust after the flesh, or to desire more than one woman, and that is okay, except that he does not act upon his desire. This is when it becomes a problem, and in this cause adultery, and of course damage to the marriage! Usually, when a man is having an affair, he is been unfaithful to his marriage, and he is cheating on his wife. Therefore, knowingly, or unknowingly he is walking around with a deep dark secret, and the burden of this secret creates tension in the marriage that later develops into more serious problem! So, in essence a man that is cheating on his wife is living a lie, and his guilty conscience would not allow to him to be happy in both relationships. Therefore, when all is said and done, he would have to choose one, or the other. Since, of course it would be difficult for him to enjoy the best of both worlds all at the same time! Naturally, he would choose the woman he loves, so that means he can only truly love one woman at a time! |
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@Marki - No. I would feel the husband does not respect his wife, nor does he truly love her. He has broken a covenant committment. Nor does he respect, nor love the person(s) with whom he cheats, and usually even IF he divorces his wife, the relationship with the person with whom he cheated, ever work out in the long run. This unfortunate triangle relationship hapens far too often with CEOs, even ministers, I have councelled. The husband and wife drift apart in their communications and the husband begins to be attracted to another, often very young woman. He has clandestine meetings with the "other woman." He tells her he wants to leave his wife. He tells her his wife's "shortcomings", inferring that he will leave his wife and begin a relationship with her. I call, telling another woman these shortcomings, "Spiritual Adultery". This leads into physical adulery. It is a very difficult situation and almost always ends in disaster. She begins to put pressure on him to leave his wife. He begins to realize that he, for a variety of reasons - financial, social, business - that divorce would be a bad idea. Often the "other woman" threatens to tell the wife. This can lead a man, already in a stressful position, into a nervous breakdown. It becomes a "lose/Lose" matter. There is no clean way out. Better not to start. |
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Its probably because even while he truly loves and respects his wife, he has other needs that are not being addressed, be it emotional or physical. May be he finds the answers in another woman, but most often such men end up hurting both the women in their lives and also themselves in the process. very good answer you understand that it is not only about sex.and women do it also.and the answer to the problem that is seeked does not come from the other women or men outside the couple.but from the self and from the wife or the husband communicating better and taking better decision to help each other.
(11 Jan '13, 05:15)
white tiger
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It's not a man thing. It's a human thing. Women cheat just as much as men; I know because I've known these women, and it's a hell of a lot. Just like men, they never tell their spouse. Just like men, they do it just for the sex. Just like men, they love and are in love with their spouse. Just like men, they say it has nothing to do with any problems in their relationship and has nothing to do with their spouse. I think it has a lot to do with how an individual loves, their morals and the respect level for their spouse. More than anything their love. Most human beings are incapable of true love. Based on experience, I believe that most people cheat. I believe that our world contains special individuals that do not. I don't cheat. Almost everyone I know cheats. My husband does. He lies about the affairs, no matter how much proof. It's very humiliating and heart breaking. It feels like murder. The marriage won't last, but I'm still hanging out a bit longer, to breath him in while I can. There is no right answer, except that most people are programmed to cheat. If two individuals find each other and neither cheats, they are lucky, and may as well have won the lottery it's so rare. People think that their spouse doesn't cheat, but that's the beauty of ignorance. If you want to be happy in a relationship you have to turn the other cheek. If you aren't this kind of person, and most aren't which is why divorce rates are so high and relationships rarely work out, you may as well stay single and just hook up here and there, and avoid a relationship at all costs. It sucks but it is what it is, reality. There is no such thing as fairy tales, as much as us non-cheaters, not the ones that fight the urge, but the ones who truly have no desire to cheat whatsoever, want to believe. To believe, is to have hope. Human beings, most of them, are pretty hopeless. |
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If a person truly loves chocolate ice cream, why would they cheat and desire vanilla ice cream? Hmmm, perhaps because love isn't exclusive, and instead is inclusive. It's possible to love many (or even all) and be committed to one relationship. could it be that the chocolate ice cream as turned vanilla?or that person want something more with is chocolate ice cream but is being refuse? also agree love is not conditionnal.but a relationship is conditionnal for good reason there is more then 1 person involved.
(17 Jan '13, 02:17)
white tiger
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well something might be missing!that is why he go look other place for what is missing! or he can be a cheater and will do that all is life! it could be just a fling also! BUT WHO KNOWS! LETS JUST SAY THAT IF HE AS MANY AND OFTEN HE IS A CHEATER AND WILL RUN AFTER ANNY THING THAT MOVE! some men are like that and some women also. Are men or women more likely to cheat? While men have always had a worse reputation for being unfaithful, recent studies show that women are catching up fast - but they are a lot more likely to lie about it, and a lot less likely to get caught. Simply put, it seems that women are better at having affairs than men. The news that Farrah Fawcett had a secret affair for 11 years without telling a soul is a classic example of the way a woman cheats: discreetly, in secret, and while carrying on with the rest of her life as normal. @White Tiger When you "we are a lot more likely to lie about it and a lot less likely to be caught" I assume you mean "they" - just a hunch on my part given what you've said before on this subject :)
(11 Jan '13, 03:04)
Catherine
@catherine the fact is that women are as much responsible and cheaters as men.why blame one or the other they booth play a part in that.it would be more beneficial if they could take their responsibility.and use their free will more wisely.they represent the cheaters that it be male or female they do their move differently but yet similar and cause the same problem.is it not strange that by wanting to fix a problem they create even more? then did they solve annything?then where they in truth?-
(11 Jan '13, 05:01)
white tiger
or lost in darkness on the wide gate? as for what i said on the subject i am simply saying the truth staying right on the middle of the balence,not taking side that it is good or bad one side or the other they are part of the same problem and relate together as duality of cause and effect.does that answer your question that you are asking your self? or does it displease you that i do not pick a side but stay in truth?
(11 Jan '13, 05:10)
white tiger
@White Tiger I see what you've done - you've lifted the first couple of paragraphs from the article (written by a lady called Maureen Rice) but it looks a bit odd because she is writing from the perspective of a woman and I assumed your answer was written by you. (I assume you are a man) I thought you had made a typo. You can amend it or leave it - just thought I would point it out.
(11 Jan '13, 11:06)
Catherine
@catherine yes i have refered to that article to show that women cheat also.if a women study show that women cheat as much as men. should be good enuff to show a women feminist that view men as the problem and the monster to blame,that women are not innocent little creature but are equaly to blame and should take their responsability also. does that displease you? i can make typo and other people also even teacher,writer,etc make error nobody is perfect.but we can try to be.
(11 Jan '13, 11:35)
white tiger
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You have enough karma points to edit. You can always help white tiger out. English is not his native language. Now that I have obtained enough points, do you wish assistance @white tiger? Voting you up; though I don't completely agree.
(11 Jan '13, 20:37)
ele
@ele it is your choice.and why you do not completely agree?
(12 Jan '13, 03:56)
white tiger
@white tiger As for FF, I'm not into celebrity gossip; I'll take your word. I prefer to remember her as the beautiful soul she was. Before I tell you why, please answer these 2 questions - do you think women cheat as often as men do & do you think women can lie better than men? a yes or no is sufficient
(13 Jan '13, 03:35)
ele
@ele according to this study,they cheat longuer and are better to keep it a secret, so yes they cheat as often as men.and for the other question if i think they are better at lie than men,i say women they are better at keeping thing secret and doing thing in the shadow,so yes they are as good lier then men.men lie but are more direct in their conversation then women. so men are easier to catch.i know you said yes or no would do but if i am not telling you the reason for it you will miss the why.
(13 Jan '13, 13:20)
white tiger
@Catherine sorry, I didn't see the humor in your words the other night which is very unlike me. I allowed someone to affect my vibes. I thought how ridiculous " what women would ever think wt is female!" You were teasing him & it was very funny which is exactly what my intention is tonight. We'll see if he has a sense of humor.
(13 Jan '13, 22:26)
ele
@white tiger yes or no . . . I understand your reasons. You said yes, women cheat as often as men; but I'm not clear in regards to lying. Do women lie better than men?
(13 Jan '13, 22:26)
ele
@ele of course they lie better then men because they are more subtil and do things in the shadow.but when you bring the light of truth in the shadow go away. so they get caught also.lie never help anny one and nothing ever remains hiden. @blubird two if women detect lie better why are they going out with jerks that lie to them for many year before they wake up and see that it was a lie all along?
(14 Jan '13, 03:08)
white tiger
@ele you need more proof that women cheat? then look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDNxPYHYnxg
(14 Jan '13, 03:56)
white tiger
@white tiger No argument, women do cheat. Earlier you said women were not superior. You said women lie better. Wouldn't that make women superior? " Anything you can do, We can do better than you; We can do anything better than you." Yes we can! No you can't! Yes we can! No you can't. Yes we can, Yes we can! Was going to send the song link but having reception issues. You cannot possibly argue with Annie, cause she has a gun! @blu I agree, women are able to detect lies better. bonne nuit, boys!
(14 Jan '13, 05:58)
ele
@everybody- i must admit this conversation is really making me smile, thanks everybody :D
(14 Jan '13, 10:02)
blubird two
@ele if you think that acting like a whore makes a woman better or superior,you are sadly mistaking. indeed you are having reception issue. what do you have to fear about a gun?it is only a object.the gun it can be use against you.if you need a gun to feel good you might have a bigger problem that you think. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
(14 Jan '13, 11:55)
white tiger
@white tiger Whoa! Please Google "I can do anything better than you". It's from the Broadway Musical "Annie get your Gun" & has been sung by many singers since. Listen to it, it's a catchy little tune. My intention was to make you smile. Yes, I am having connection issues & my furnace has been out since last night & it's below zero & parts won't be here for 2 more days in addition to being the busiest time of the year with my work. This is the one & only link I clicked on. @ursixx - help? lol
(14 Jan '13, 22:48)
ele
@ele well i have found your annie got a gun thing,not really my style complaning at who is better then who.we are all equal and all have a part to play.smile.play your parts that might heat you up.smile.
(14 Jan '13, 23:11)
white tiger
@white tiger - You sent me a little Hanukah jingle at Christmas. I'm not Jewish & I thought it was very cute & played it several times. I thought you would like the song. You said "play your parts that might heat you up.smile" Are you telling me to go play with myself? lol! Many women say they can do that better (superior) than men also. Reminds me of that tune "Anything you can do, we can do better than you. Yes we can! We can do everything better than you. Yes, we can! Yes, we can!
(15 Jan '13, 02:45)
ele
@white tiger IMO, Women are far superior, they call it 'self love' & it's not viewed as 'icky'. Poor _ men. They just don't get the same respect. lol! Again I here a tune in my head "Anything you can do, We can do better than you; We can do anything better than you." Yes we can! Yes, we can! No matter what I do, I can't get that jingle out of my head. Yes we can! We can do everything better than you! Yes we can. lol!
(15 Jan '13, 02:49)
ele
The above 2 paragraphs may or may not be the personal viewpoint of this user. Speaking of women in general. lol!
(15 Jan '13, 02:57)
ele
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGLnsNPQcls Now we all can sing along with @ele
(15 Jan '13, 03:04)
ursixx
@ursixx lol! Too, too funny. A sing a-long. Thanks! I laughed till I had tears streaming down my face. I work out every day, but I guess I need more lat work - my ribs hurt - I'm sure warmed up. Maybe I should sing to my water pipes. While I was ROTFLMAO, mm2 vanished again. Did not know it cause I had that window open for awhile. Always late to the party!
(15 Jan '13, 04:23)
ele
@ele play your parts that might heat you up.smile that add more then one meaning and i have said it that way on perpace.your furnace is out and it is below zero.you need to play your parts it is not a question of being better then the other.and if it heats you up and solve your heating problem to play with your self yes you could try it. smile.annything you can do i can do better then you yes i can yes i can. smile.
(16 Jan '13, 19:23)
white tiger
@white tiger Of course I believe men & women are equal & women are not superior to men. I was teasing you instead of arguing over the validity of your link. You should know me better than that. Unfortunately women are not equal to men around the world & I doubt will be in our lifetime. Even in the US, women are not equal in the workplace. I've NEVER in my life called another female a whore like you did above. Why do you? What do you call men who sleep around or cheat? Men who ____. That's not
(19 Jan '13, 23:29)
ele
not equal; judging a woman worse than a man for the same actions & then labeling. The study was not a controlled study by any standard & I don't think women have caught up quite yet. Did you read the comments underneath the article? You should.
(19 Jan '13, 23:30)
ele
@white tiger you said "play your parts that might heat you up.smile that add more then one meaning" Yes, I realize that & I think the 2nd meaning isn't any better. You also said " i have said it that way on perpace". Yes, I knew that & you expected me to react in a non-humorous fashion. Did I surprise you? What troubles me in your 'intention" (on purpose). What was your intention? If I didn't know better I would think you didn't like me.
(19 Jan '13, 23:31)
ele
@ele you can believe what you want but men cheat and women also and they are both equaly responsible.so that you think that women have not caught up quite yet does not change anny thing.you are also taking things out of context to make me appear bad i said that lying and acting like a whore was not good for anny women. if you do not like the word and do not want to call things by their name and prefer to deny it again it is from you.for the other question do i expect you to act anny way other
(21 Jan '13, 00:17)
white tiger
way that i know that you will act no i don't.what was my intention? you where denying the fact to feel superior teasing me and saying that you where better. it was to show you that you would go exactly where i know that you would go.annything you can do i can do better then you yes i can yes i can. smile. if i did not like you i would not read you or talk to you.
(21 Jan '13, 00:25)
white tiger
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All I can say is, be fair to the woman you love, make her happy, and giver the spot she deserves in your life... no matter what other temporary woman may cross your way... |
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It needs to be understood that a relationship is like a block of Swiss cheese. There are a lot of empty areas that feel very alone but we must constantly forget those hurts and stay focused on what is there not on what is missing. These times are emotional feelings of rejection do to differences in personalities. Example: one loves stupid comedy movies, the other hates. That one can forgo watching the comedies to watch some serious drama but really much rather watch the comedy while feeling alone together. Or watch the comedy alone while the other feels alone, later feeling alone not being able to talk about the movie with anyone. There are many examples that have nothing to do with sex and everything to do with those times of feeling alone. We must focus on the times of feeling happy together and constantly forget about the times we feel alone. In other words we eat the Swiss cheese because of the taste of the cheese not because of the taste of the holes, there is nothing there. I think there is no perfect relationship where everything is perfect all the time. If there is you haven't been in it long enough to find out yet. The more we look at what is missing, the less we see what is there. 1
@ursixx lol yes so true, Baby Swiss has far more holes! A mature relationship has far more good than bad. That is what needs to be remembered.
(14 Jan '13, 02:57)
Wade Casaldi
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Are you still talking about wanting another woman's husband?
Nope, he is my friend and I do not believe that he is happy cheating his wife...
@marki If the man truly loves his wife and desire other women, the only reason is for sex! I'd say it would depend on the person choosing to cheat or not. But the motivation is definitely physical..Some of my friends do it, some wouldn't do it even at gun point!
@mastermind2 why would it be for sex?it could be for other reason as well. yes something is missing if he go look for another women. or it is like food you might like to eat your favorite dish but eventually you will go eat something else. it might be that the women is always doing the same thing.and the men want to experience something else. or it can be that the women is always after the men and the men just want to go out to have some peace. but the best way would be to ask the men.
@white tiger why do I get the feeling that you may have 2 girl friends? ;) - okay I'm kidding.. you say its like tasting different foods? and choosing a women could be for a different reason? Its like Iran saying nuclear research is for peaceful purposes, nuclear power to pet casts and stuff! ;) I think "cheating" and having an affair are two things. A man cheats a women definitely for sex.
@mastermind2 i have no girl friends. according to what i have seen in this world some do not cheat only for sex. but you say:I think "cheating" and having an affair are two things. A man cheats a women definitely for sex. we booth agree that there is a lack in the men going to cheat,if not he would not go else where to find what he is missing. but is sex the only thing that push a men to go find another women? if you believe that men are only with women for sex and nothing else maybe that is-
what you are experiencing right now. but apart from sex what are men looking for in a relation with a women? love? a partner to enjoy life with them? some one that will give in the relation as much as the other one give? if the men want the best for the women should the women not want the best for the men? you all ready know about the women pedestall thing when the men want the best for her she takes him for granted and shit on him. then you see that the women problem is that she cannot be on-
equal footing or equal partner with the men. because she view her self superior or the men as inferior or she cannot accept that the men is capable to give the best and she is not able to give the best. so the men is taken for granted or rejected for being good.but yes some do go look for sex because their women is frigid or the women see sex as a trading exchange or the women does not want to enjoy that side of her life. if nothing of this is the problem then i would say work on communication.
@white tiger I don't think women seeing themselves superior than man can mean harm to a man. Because a mother never puts her children in danger..or a wife her husband in danger, by being superior. I say no man can beat a mother's patience! they are superior!
@white tiger I agree with the rest.. :)
@mastermind2 woman are not superior and you did not understand the pedestal complex. ask @grace that though that is men put her on a pedestal. if a men is good with a woman they think he put me on a pedestal,but that view is wrong.the men treat her fair as he would like to be treated.on the same equal footing.not on a superior one. if she start playing mother superior she will fall on her knee and find out that love is hard on the knee.-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEJah99qbL4 woman with superiority complex are not in touch with there role and responsability in a relationship.so if a woman is not ready to accept her role and responsibility in a relationship is she superior or inferior? and even if she victimize herself and blame the men is that truly helping her?or is that stopping her to see the truth about the matter?if her men is trying to wake her up before it is to late she better get rid of her pedestal and beg him-
@mastermind2
Thanks! You are a good son & you'll make some woman very happy one day. Always remember these 2 words, precious (to value) & cherish (appreciate). As for cheaters; I agree with your 1st comment; but there are always exceptions.
I also agree with wt, a man should not put a woman on a pedestal or vice-versa. Good analysis!
to stay with him and that she will do what is necessary.because the more she is in the illusion that her men is weak and inferior the more the fall from that illusion will be hard on the knee when coming back to reality.what harm will it bring a failled relationship waste of time and effort.children living in divided famely with one of the role model not there to do their job.will the children be more at risk?
@mastermind2 here is some reading material for you about the pedestall complex. http://www.shrink4men.com/2012/04/05/putting-women-on-pedestals-dont-do-it/
@ele Thank you ele! =)
@white tiger Thank you for the information and the link friend. I will read it.