I am sorry for your predicament. I was in a marriage for 14 years and basically it's about harmony and happiness. My conclusion is at what point does compromise, patience, and perseverence turn into sacrifice, tolernce, and suffering.

I left with just the clothes on my back. 3 years have past, I am happy, I feng shui my home, I have been promoted with more pay, I have met new, great and like minded friends, and a partner that loves to talk about the same subjects and we have an effortless relationship. There is no need to change anything about us or want to change in the other.

You have to really think about what you want. I wanted harmony and happiness in my life. That meant a divorce for me. It hurts and emotionally draining. But it was like removing a splinter from your finger. It hurt while it was in but the relief and feeling you get when it is removed.

No-one can hold us back except ourself. However often we create situations for ourself which involve another, and it is so much easier to blame someone else than accept responsibility for ourself and what we have created. This can be especially difficult when it comes to a long term relationship and we begin to wake up after many years of being asleep. Whether the relationship is fairly new or longterm, no-one can hold us back in anyway unless we allow them to.

I think the difficulty arises in the difference of the levels of awareness of both parties, irregardless of whether one or both are spiritually awakening. If someone is not aware of something, you can talk till you're blue in the face and it will not change their mind... they will always see it as being your fault because they genuinely don't have that level of awareness to see it from your perspective. ( The thing to note here is that, no matter what argument you try to use or how much you try to convince them... you can even spell it out in black and white, they are not in a place to hear you).

I've come to realize more and more in life that I cannot expect others to be at the same level of awareness as myself and if I do expect this , then I'm really not coming from that place of authenticity. And it is up to each of us to discern what ( if anything ) we are willing to sacrifice for the sake of a relationship and how much we really need that other person to hear us.

Edit

This daily quote of Abraham's seems like pretty sound advice...

You have the option of making a good-feeling aspect of another person dominant in your Vibration or of making a bad-feeling aspect dominant, and whatever aspect you regularly choose will become the Vibrational basis of your relationship. When your happiness becomes your highest priority, and so you deliberately keep active the best-feeling aspects of others, you will train your Vibrational frequency in such a way that they will not be able to rendezvous with you in any way that does not feel good when it happens

If you see no change in these individuals I would venture to say that you are being changed. The evidence of this might be your inability to see how these folks aren't good for you and the direction you desire to travel my friend.

You can't do the positive thinking and visualizing for the both of you. He has his own free will, which you can't interfere with even if you wanted to. Even God does not take our free will from us. So..... as RPuls said, it's up to you! Would you rather have the temporary unpleasantness of a breakup, or many years of being brought down constantly. It does sound as if you have opposing styles and opposing patterns of thought, and life doesn't have to be a struggle like that, on a daily basis. And perhaps he is also better off with someone who thinks more along his lines too, rather than with someone who will be often disappointed in him.

Of course not, unless of course, if you give over your control to your partner!

As long as you understand that you are in total control of your life, then no one can tell you otherwise, since it is not up to your partner to decide, you have to be your own best judge in all given situations!