Your way of speaking is direct reflection of your way of living your life. If your days should be bright and gay all the time, you would speak uplifting talks, it would be easy to talk, because the source of it would be your happy inner-self and you wouldn't worry about the way you speak at all.

You can't go the other way. You can't try to change your talk without changing your inner self. It's like, when there are rainy clouds, it's always gonna be wet around. You may try to dry the wet, but it's gonna get wet again over and over, because of the clouds. Don't address the wet, address the clouds that block the sun who naturally dries the wet.

To stop hurting others, you gotta stop being hurt yourself. Don't focus on your talk, focus on yourself. Find the ways, things and people you desire to be, and surround yourself with those ways, things and people.

If someone you meet does not act in a way you want to act, or acts in an opposite manner, cut them loose. Let polluting, toxic people go from your life. Switch the channel. It might be tough to erase people you knew from childhood from your life. But if you come to conclusion they influence you in a way you don't want to be influenced, you have to do it, or they'll negate your efforts and drag you down all the time.

And same goes for many other things, not just people. If you're watching soup operas, then stop it. What good does it do to you, to watch someone's else life, instead of living yours? What good is watching news - no good, they build them around SHOCK value, to take your attentions away from your own life - News:"this and that person died today". Wow flash news, as if dying was some sort of rare thing...who cares.

In life, there's junk food and healthy food. Food for your body, food for your brain, food for your soul. You are what you eat. You eat junk food, then junk food gonna come out.

Be selective. Now, if you are interested in this topic, I may suggest you listen to Joel Osteen sermon about negative influence