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Sometimes I feel a sense of emotional disconnect - that's about the only term I can think of. Its almost an absence of feeling - not exactly boredom, just a bit dead. Where would I rate this feeling on the Emotional Guidance Scale?
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It's difficult to answer a question like this based on a few words. But the impression I get is that you're not allowing yourself to feel desire. Your comment about conditioned defense mechanism against pain seems to confirm this. Quite some years ago, I was a big fan of philosophies that taught you how to suppress desire...the idea being that having desire leads to unhappiness and so suppressing desire must be the key to happiness. Nowadays, those philosophies sound to me more like give me more painkillers so I can't feel how badly my head hurts when I pound it with a hammer. :) It is quite possible to get into a state where you completely detach from your emotions and don't allow yourself to feel life...you become more of a disinterested observer of it. The problem, in my view, with this - and I've probably experienced it myself in the past to some extent - is that you never really experience what life is capable of giving you. There's no real sense of fulfilment - just a feeling you are missing out on something. I don't know if you can relate to this at all? If you really want to live, there comes a time when you just have to stir things up in your life and immerse yourself in this physical reality...you have to let the fullness of newly-launched desire come flooding through you with all its might. You have to just be willing to go where life takes you. So, to answer your question about where this emotional disconnect fits on the Emotional Scale...I'm not sure it does. In any case, the Emotional Scale is more aimed at a particular subject in your life because you have different feelings about different subjects. Despite what you say about the emotional disconnect, I'm pretty sure that there will be some things in your life that stir up passion and strong-feeling emotion within you - and I'm pretty sure you will be able to get a good, strong emotional setpoint reading from them. And those passion-filled inspiring things in your life are probably a good-starting point to get reacquainted with your emotions again. Just some thoughts that may or may not be useful to you. :) Well explained,
(13 May '10, 01:33)
Frank 1
Thank you Frank
(13 May '10, 20:41)
Stingray
Thanks Stingray I can definitely relate to the feeling of missing out on something and not able to quite pinpoint what it is.
(13 May '10, 21:57)
I Think Therefore I Am
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What you are describing sounds like ambivalence. "Ambivalence" is not on the scale, but I would put it between Contentment and Boredom, being closer to boredom than contentment. The only reason I wouldn't call it boredom is that I associate boredom with a feeling of restlessness, whereas ambivalence suggests no opinion one way or the other. Thanks Vesuvius - I agree for me as well boredom is a sense of restlessness whereas disconnect or ambivalence is more an absence of emotional sensation.
(12 May '10, 17:25)
I Think Therefore I Am
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I could be way off here but from your question I would have actually put a sense of emotional disconnect closer to discouragement on the emotional scale as the phrase just a bit dead conjures up feelings of lethargy or lack of energy. Hope I'm wrong as ambivalence or boredom is further up the scale. Its almost as if I'm having an out of body experience during the day, I'm alert, I'm functional but can't seem to feel anything. Perhaps its years of conditioned defense mechanism against pain, but now its stopping excitment and happiness as well. Perhaps I should rate this according to the emotional state I enter when this feeling dissipates and not really attempt to rate this particular state?
(12 May '10, 18:59)
I Think Therefore I Am
It almost sounds as though you're functioning on auto-pilot and are not allowing yourself to feel. The only suggestion I can come up with is to maybe spend some time, if you can, in quiet meditation and see what arises - you are possibly suppressing your feelings and meditation may create the awareness you need to see why you're doing this.
(12 May '10, 21:20)
Michaela
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I agree with what the others said. I think that you are not allowing yourself to experience emotions. This probably came about as a result of some "bad" experience that you had. However you do recognize where you are so the next step is to figure out what to do to re-open up the door to your emotions. I suggest that you go back to where it all started and relive that experience with the pain and then you can go forward from there. You may want to do this with the assistance of a therapist. It is very important for your spiritual growth that you figure out a way to reconnect with yourself, as spiritual development is an internal process. |
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Is this 'emotional disconnect' for a particular subject, or for your life in general?
It is a general feeling that creeps up, as if I'm physically all here but my spirit has gone on a vacation.