I think about getting older all the time. How do I deal with this?

Question

I am completely freaked out about getting older. I'm watching all of my friends turn 40, and it seems like as soon as they do the go a little koo koo. I mean as in doing things full force that really should have started in their early 20's. For example, a lot of my friends are performers of some kind.

Have been all their lives. Some married and had children, then gave up their dreams. Some are just flat out lazy and obviously had the talent, but didn't want to do the footwork. It seems like now that they are 40+ they are cramming trying to do as much as they can to "make it big."

They really truly think they are going to make it big. I have not a single problem with them thinking or even trying it, just reality is chances are slim to none even into 30's nevermind 40's nowadays. I watch them act extremely desperate, and doing things that just make no sense. Others are hitting 40, and just plain going nuts. They are seeking attention any way they can get it. If it's bad attention it's good to them. It's literally crazy.

I find myself waking up everyday and the first thing I think of is that i'm another day older. Never fails. I think back to when I was in high school. I still see people from then and they are always saying that high school days were "soooo long ago." When honestly....I don't feel like it was. 10 years has gone by like nothing. Year after year feels like it was just days in between. I'm getting really freaked out. How can I stop???

Answer 1

This is all a matter of perspective. I am in my fifties. I feel like I am sixteen most of the time, and probably act like it sometimes too. Like you, I saw many friends become unhinged and even depressed over aging. Some did things they regret very much now. That doesn't mean you have to do anything out of the ordinary. That was just the path they felt they needed to take. No need for you to do the same, or even make judgments about their path. It's not your problem in any way.

Aging hasn't bothered me at all and I love this time of life for many reasons....freedom, life experience, good health and so on. The constant clawing upwards that most feel they need to participate in when younger is mostly over with. Life is more comfortable and you are more sure of yourself. Most of us have what we need and know what we want, and what we want to do. It's all good. I never let it trouble me and I if I see others making what I perceive to be mistakes, I let that roll off of me as well. Their road and not mine.....

Be joyful and enjoy this time of life. That is my advice. It's all perspective and what you make of it.

Best wishes!

Answer 2

As has already been discussed at length here on Inward Quest, age is just a state of mind.

I've taken martial arts classes from men (and women) in their 50s, 60s and 70s who could easily defeat "strong," athletic men in their 20s. Additionally, a well-known fact in military circles is that the top echelon of the most elite Special Forces (Delta Force, Navy Seals, SAS, etc..) consists of men in their 40s and 50s. Think about that for a moment.

I've trained with a yoga teacher who, when he was 110, moved and acted like a man in his 50s.

I sometimes train with another yoga teacher (still living) in New York City who is in his mid 70s, and can do head stands and all sorts of incredible poses that make the fit twenty-somethings in the class gasp with wonder.

Perhaps you are too "tuned in" to the media and television, which targets mainly youth and teens, and is obsessed with image? If so, my advice is "switch it off."

As to success, there are droves of people who didn't "hit it big" until late in life. Here are a bunch of them you can read about:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristen-houghton/dreams-have-no-age-limit_b_525358.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_19655_5-famous-late-bloomers.html

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/worklife/05/16/mf.famous.career.after.50/index.html

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-658277.html

http://www.businessinsider.com/26-successful-people-who-failed-at-first-2012-7?op=1

Oh, it's amazing what you can find on the internet these days. :)

Answer 3

When I read the two questions you asked yesterday, I began to feel a bit more cuckoo than usual. Kiddin' aside, have you tried mediation to quiet all that chatter? It will help & I believe meditation slows down the aging process.

I think @lozenge123 covered the subject extremely well & I agree with @LeeAnn1 - "I love this time of my life" .... About all I have to add is:

How's your sex life? Seriously? The one thing I know for sure is lack of sex will age you faster than anything - especially for anyone 40 or over.. More benefits than a vitamin supplement & as necessary as sunshine for the mind, body & spirit. It's been scientifically proven that regular sex keeps us healthier & keeps us younger.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/having-regular-sex-can-keep-157110

http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/06/better-than-botox-7-reasons-to-have-sex-tonight/

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/10-surprising-health-benefits-of-sex

Please listen to Bashar on Staying Young - The Importance of Staying Young and Doing What You Love to Do. Your friends are following their passion - their joy - be happy for them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KKgaMLly_Ko

As for aging - it has a lot to do with attitude. If you have your health -

                    **Life only gets better after 40 ..**

I think about getting older all the time. How do I deal with this?

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