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This is a bit of the same question of asking how to address when users ask "I'm stuck in depression", "I'm in a loop", "I can't get out of this hole", "I'm stuck in a cycle of depression." I personally believe a lot of these questions if not all stem from the person's own feelings of weakness and insecurity, the feeling they are too insignificant to accomplish even the simplest tasks so eventually they just close down and stop trying all together.
In the cases of past traumas they refuse to accept the past has passed, and accept either the present scenario as it stands or accept themselves in the present because of some decisions they made in the past. In the case of present dissatisfaction either they are setting their expectations too high, or their appreciation too low, or not enough dedication and effort into fulfilling their expectations. In the case of dissatisfaction with the outcome of future events they're either stuck in an extreme negative outlook on life, expecting every situation's outcome to be the worst possible no matter how hard they try [generally with the outcome blamed on poor luck, circumstance, everyone is out to make things harder on me, life sucks and then you die, etc]; or they have such little confidence in their abilities they believe their trying their hardest will not be enough to achieve the future they seek; or they have some feeling of being unworthy believing "Why me? Why would I be worthy of this dream?" |
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The first step to help someone who believes they cannot accomplish anything is to get them to talk to you about their beliefs and listen with compassion and an open heart to what they have to say. Ask them "would you like to tell me about your beliefs" and listen carefully to the reply with all your attention. Be aware also that they may brush it aside and say that everything's ok. If so, step back a little and just make light conversation especially about things that will induce laughter, or play simple games that they enjoy, this will maintain pleasant contact and sooner or later they'll start revealing their beliefs. When they do start revealing why they believe they cannot accomplish anything, feel what they're saying, empathy is the key, a problem shared is a problem halved and they will soon find themselves halfway to having found an answer all by themselves, which means that they've already accomplished something :) 1
In all honesty, I think this is the only thing you can really do that is of any assistance. People who are really stuck in the dumps won't do anything consciously to feel better. They want problems solved their own ways and wont be capable of hearing any help despite how much they listen. When I was depressed, despite being active on IQ, the only thing that sort of saved my emotional scale climb was talking to a friend....Showing him my beliefs and eventually how I wanted to change.
(28 Jun '13, 23:00)
Nikulas
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I think this is the only role a psychologist has- they are able to reflect what the person is saying and help the person hear themselves a bit better. It's not because they know all about western psychology, it's because they offer the service of being an active-passive observer for the person to sort of 'surrender' their thoughts to without any pressure or guilt trips.
(28 Jun '13, 23:01)
Nikulas
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Unworthiness is an extremely powerful place of attraction. Perhaps much more powerful that worthiness. Because the effort required in maintaining one's focus within the "truth" of that statement is far easier with unworthiness. When one is feeling unworthy, rarely does that individual slip up on their focus of their own unworthiness and fight an inner knowing of their true worthiness. Yet, this is exactly what is going on within everyone who is feeling unworthy. They are (unconsciously) fighting their inner knowing of their true worthiness. Because it is scary to face the realization, that you are worthy and that you are completely responsible for that worthiness. Self-responsibility for one's own worthiness is the lesson that is being learned here. This lesson cannot be learned in the dependence of others help. This lesson can only be learned when the well-meaning help from others is no longer available. |
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1) I personally would try normal methods like trying to get them to understand from their own lives scenarios where they did not thing something was possible. i would explain how we dont have control over lot of things and they function... like there are sooo many blood vessels and so many capillaries in our bodies.. its like a whole factory system... heart pumps blood.. it goes everywhere etc.. if this does not work we are dead! yet we dont do nothing about it but still it all works... we are not controlling jack sh*t! 2) Its hard for people to believe something else. and sometimes it takes a true Master like a yogi to change people's minds. You and i cannot do it, sometimes even a Yogi cant. its only when you are ready that you are ready... I would refer them a great yogi like Paramahansa Yogananda (or anyone else you thing are a Master) to make you understand how the Universe works, how to contact God, how to live life etc. He would have the best chance to convince people of the Truths. |
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