I guess I already know the short answer to this question, I am just looking for some insight to deepen my understanding. Over the last few years as I have gradually become more aware of the power of the mind, and the effect right and wrong thinking has on our lives, I have made gradual improvements in this regard. As I have developed healthier habits, and discarded old ones, both mental and physical in nature, my relationships have been effected dramatically. I no longer desire to spend time with people that harbor the negative traits I am trying to distance myself from, or with the people that seem to reinforce the negative attitudes I am changing in myself. Unfortunately this has left me feeling very alone at times. Is this normal? How have others coped with this effect? Does what I'm asking even make sense?

asked 17 Oct '09, 16:41

richc's gravatar image


edited 17 Oct '09, 17:29

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

The level of pain and difficulty you experience will be at the very same level of your resistance.

The saying, "Nothing is either good or bad, but THINKING makes it so," is another way of saying that it is never the situation that causes us pain, but rather our reaction to it. How do you react to change? Do you resist it or embrace it? Therein lies the difficulty or the ease and grace you will experience.

Rome wasn't built in a day. Be gentle with yourself and always congratulate yourself on every bit of progress you make and before you know it, the small progress will grow to large, life-changing progress if you stay on course!

Our thoughts are habitual thoughts and can be very deeply ingrained and very resistant to change But if you really want to change your life, you MUST change your thoughts because you must in harmony with something to attract it to you.


answered 17 Oct '09, 23:45

jane's gravatar image


It depends on your perspective. Pain is necessary in this material manifestation because this body is sentient. It evolves that way.

Yet, we are not our body. Our body is our biological tool on this biological plane of manifestation.

There is always a purpose for every vibration we encounter, the task then is to comprehend what is being presented to us and work it out within ourselves.

Remember to separate yourself from others only vibrationally. This quote states it correctly: "You are to be in the world but not of it."

As you ascend into your highest vibrations you will find that inward separation will not physically take you away from anyone. It is they that will no longer find an interest in you.

Also please remember that one must learn not to feel lonely, because loneliness is an illusion of separation. You are part of All That Is. And know that this planet is teeming with beings on a multi-dimensional level always there to assist us.

love and harmony, your sister in truth


answered 18 Oct '09, 03:12

aneternityslove's gravatar image


Well to answer your question correctly, no transformation doesn't need pain.

Pain is the INDICATOR that transformation needs to take place.

We are all non-physcial beings having a human experience. What that means is that we come here to experience life for growth and learning, because that is our ultimate goal.

There are many planets, many realities and many new diffrent planes of existence where diffrent themes in general are being played out.

Right here on our planet we, as a species, are playing uot a theme of limitations. We have set upon ourselves the idea of disconnecting ourselfs from the Source of All existence so much, that we almost forgotten completely who we are.

This is a very exiting theme cause all over the cosmos there has never been anyone so bold and brave to try to do this. We are colled by many species "The masters of limitations" by the degree of limitations we set upon ourselves. We are now in the center of intergalactic explorations. We are being watched and assisted by beings which are, as you can say, cheering for us, because they recognize how important role the human race is playing in the cosmos.

The ascension of our planet began in 2006. It means that Earth became slightly more on the positive side than on the negative (as it has been begfore, as for thousands of years when we were in decension).

So as decension was a process od forgetfullness, ascension is a process a re-membering of all diffrent aspects, all diffrent lives and lessons we were playing out in our past lives.

So as poeple began to awaken more and more to the truth of our true nature, we need to let go of the limitations we were given upon by our society, our parents, because now we are changing our theme from limitations to lack of them.

Let's use a rubber band analogy. If you pull a rubber band as far as you can, almost to the point of breaking it and you can't pull it any longer, it's gona shut out so much further and so much higher then if you would pull it just slightly.

Knowing that we have been in our dark side to such a degree that the band almost snapped. 20th century was the time when the human race had to decide either we are going to ascend or perish.

In about 1970's we decided as a collective concious that we are not going to perish. Instead we're gonin to ascend and claim our birth right which has always been living in bliss.

So for that to happen we have to leave aside our old belief systems, our old structures, as now we can see they begin to crumble, and replace them with new ones, which will more and more reflect our TRUE nature and true mission in the Universe.

So to be able to do that we are now in a mission on clearing our old feelings, our old emotions and beliefs systems which don't serve us anymore.

Pain is one of the indicators that our belief systems are out of balance. In our natural state of being, which is light, their's no such thing as fear, doubt etc. All these "negative" emotions were superimposed upon us in order to play the game of limitations.

But as you begin to recognize, the belief systems that you incorporated are not your own, but in fact are a product of a society which has nothing to do which who you really are, you start to let them go.

Little by little you start transform your old belief syste in a one that which you prefer. You can do that by recodnizing that fear is in fact the way when you should look for answers. If you look as a situation and you don't like the way you react to it just ask yourself :"Why do I react to this situation the way I do? What belief do I have to hold that makes me feel that way?"

When you identify your belief it automaticly desapeares, right then at their, Now you can change it, because you can not change something you do not own. So now replace it with what you would like it to be "Oh so now when I feel this and this I want to react such and such". Now it;s their. To lock it in, as yo say, when a situation like this occurs ACT IF the new belief system is already installed and in place and you can start feeling the profound effect it ha on your actions.

Now you say you feel kind of down, kind of wiery at times. Well working with your beliefs and changing your energy is a process, it doesn;t happen over night. It produces a thing called the limbo state. It means that for some time you may have feelings of great joy and extasy, whether the next moment have feelings of great sadness and dispair.

That's quite alright. It's going to pass I promise you. One of the things you can do to speed up the process is to follow your excitement, follow your bliss. It means that if you hate your job, quit! If your spouse keeps you down, evaluate the relationship and ask if it isn't time to move on. Really, it's the time to be selfish, but in a good way. It's a time to find your way and stick to it, no matter what other people might say. You might feel that your going crazy and nobody else is experiencing any of that, but your not.

There are thousands and thousands of light workers awakaning everyday. Collective energy is now slightly positive, so we all need to do our part to raise the vibration of our song even higher.

That's why it's crucial that you start doing what you love, what excites you. That's the only thing you HAVE to do in your life. Sure you can procrastinate, but the truth is that change is coming and for people who don;t recognize it in time it's gona be very painful.

Heck many of them won't be here when it happens. Many souls aren't ready to move up, and that's why it's so important that YOU do.

You are not alone. You are not alone.

Emotions of




transmute and transfigure everything. Be greatful for what you have. Love yourself and love others cause they are the mirrors that reflect to you what needs to be still to overcome. Have fun with it. Have as much fun you can. Be enlightened. En-lighten means lighten up. Don't take it so seriously. Have fun, love, praise nad pray. Be the person you always wanted to be. Create your reality. You disarve it.


answered 17 Oct '09, 17:21

wildlife's gravatar image


See DEfy Gravity by Caroline Myss.


answered 17 Oct '09, 22:17

Lauren's gravatar image


Well, I have always been an outsider or on the edge of social circles, a misfit in some respects, because I think and act differently and don't follow the herd but have done my own thing pretty much all my life. I'm not anti-social, and actually mix very well, but I have had few close friends in my life, especially as we tend to get fussier as we get older! What you are going through is natural, and needn't feel painful. I admit to occasionally wishing I had more like minded friends and they do come along, but those relationships have tended to be transient, as we have helped each other through a period of our lives and moved on.

Changing habits of any sort and changing our circle of friends and acquaintances in tandem to that is actually quite exciting, and part of life's adventure. We may feel a bit sad to part with some people, and occasionally feel alone, but not for long as new people are always there. Anyway, I'd rather that than be around negative people! They may act as contrast, and demonstrate what we may not be so happy with about ourselves, but they can also drain some of our energy that would be better used moving ourselves forward.

Chin up - we meet people in all sorts of amazing ways - I actually met the American man that became my husband 4 years ago while he was in Iraq and I was leaving the UK to move to the USA. I already had acquaintances, both British and American, that were over in Iraq at the time and I hesitated to reply because it was a bit traumatic being friends with people in combat, but decided to become a friend to someone in a tough place, and we fell for each other over 3 weeks. There's more to it but I won't bore you all ... anyway, consider that you have already met like minded acquaintances here :>)


answered 18 Oct '09, 01:46

Rebecca's gravatar image


edited 18 Oct '09, 13:31

Thanks that was so nice of you to cheer this person up Rebecca and that was such an sweet story about how you met your husband. True caring friends are rare and precious like jewels. But while we are on this life Journey there are people we met and we learn from them and help them or they learn from us and help us. Some people in life you met are only meant for an brief moment while others are meant to stay an life time. Have an nice day.

(18 Oct '09, 23:31) flowingwater

I too believe that much of our suffering is caused by our own self-imposed resistance.

But sometimes there is a lesson to be learned from that suffering. Otherwise, why would we willingly inflict it upon ourselves?

When people resist, there is always a motivation. Usually it is preservation of the ego, the need to feel separate and superior. When that need is no longer there, the fear and loneliness fades.

Sometimes you lose some of your friends along the way because they are not yet ready to follow you to the next level. That's their choice and their freedom, and we should respect that.


answered 18 Oct '09, 22:48

Vesuvius's gravatar image


edited 18 Oct '09, 22:56

I don't think it has to accompany pain. But change sometimes does even if it is just moving to an new state. There is the uproot of possiable family and friends. Getting know your environment. Gettin away from negative people is an postive step that shouldn't cause any pain unless it is someone you love or who loves you.

Fear is an emotions that also accompany you. Getting out of an relationship that was bad for you is probably going to be very painful especially if you really did love them. But if the love is gone and you are financial able to support yourself completely than there will be little pain and much joy and celebration.

I guess I am saying it depends what side of the spectrum you are looking at and coming from. As long as you are liking the transformation continue on re-making the new you. For you are on an road of self improvement and creating your reality.


answered 19 Oct '09, 05:29

flowingwater's gravatar image


Yes it makes perfect sense here is a video to help you understand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx_B2a6fwdo

there is light in a person of the light and it shines on the whole world,if not it is dark. So Be aware,know your self,solve your inner division that cause you pain.in truth you can solve them.with no division the two becomes one,and you are born again.

So let there be light,Be the light that you can be ,experience and enjoy.


answered 02 Feb '13, 22:17

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 02 Feb '13, 22:39

for me, there are seven eyes of the head, but only one eye of the heart.

(17 Feb '13, 02:24) don

solitude is required as you are creating inner space for what is unfolding within you. it also protects your heightened sensitivities. upon completion, you then live your excitement, engage and participate more fully in life; more secure and comfortable with yourself and social situations. time for completion varies for every individual though.

at this time, people are awakening to the transpersonal level. learning to integrate the darkness and negativities at a collective level is crucial to moving forward. shadow work and pain body management is becoming more important especially to empaths to avoid self-victimization and disempowerment.

P'TAAH: "TRANSMUTATION" Formula for Transmuting Pain & Agony into Ecstacy

Pain is resistance to feeling, brought about by judgement. Judgement is the only cause of pain. To release the pain, you have to nullify the judgement. (Judgement creates separation from who you really are.)

First, a tip: Whenever you find yourself feeling bad about whatever is happening, ask yourself: "What do I believe about this situation?" Your beliefs are the basis of your perceived reality. Get in touch with beliefs that may be causing you unpleasant experiences repeatedly.

The 4-Step Transmutation Formula:

  1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY Take responsibility that what you are experiencing/perceiving is your creation. "I did it". You created it - no one else "did it" to you. You are not a victim. The Self has created it, so that you can find the pearl of Wisdom within this experience. To find this wisdom, notice how you feel about the situation. (You may have actually co-created it with others - each for their own reasons.) You must "own" your fear (any/all negative emotions). You can no change what you do not "own".

  2. ALIGN THE JUDGEMENT Align the judgement about yourself, about the situation, and about the others involved.When you blame and judge, you are not taking responsibility for what you are experiencing. Realize, acknowledge, and "own" the fact that you have a judgement about this experience. You may even have a judgement about the judgement. Everything that exists is an expression of Divinity - even your judgement. So, your judgement is valid. Acknowledge and bless your judgement and bless the entire situation. Realize that you can only transform in the NOW moment. (However, by transforming in the now, you do, ironically, also transform your past and your future.)

  3. EMBRACE, ALLOW, ACCEPT, SURRENDER. As long as you are trying to escape the fear or release it or push it away, you will simply produce more of the same experiences. You can only transform what you own in the now moment by your total embracement. As long as you judge the fear or invalidate it, you cannot transform it. Embrace, allow, accept, and surrender to the situation, your judgement, & your feelings. Just as you would embrace a crying hurting child, embrace the entire experience and pull it to you, rather than pushing it away. Embrace it into the God-Light that you are. As you embrace it into the God-Light that you are, the resistance to feeling (pain) dissolves in the Light. Bless those people involved in your drama. Be thankful for this experience, because of the wisdom-potential in it.

  4. FEEL THE FEELING. Set aside your thinking and your intellect, and just let yourself totally FEEL the feeling. Rather than escaping from the pain, embrace and feel the feeling. (Transmutation does not occur if you try to escape the pain.) The intellect is useful, but it is designed to be the servant of the heart. Emotion is your point of power - it is your "flash point of transformation".

(Here below ==> means "produces", "creates", "causes".)

Judgement ==> Wanting to avoid Feeling ==> Resistance to Feeling (like "claws" in solar plexus" holding the energies in place) ==> Feelings immobilized (stuck) in Solar Plexus ==> Pain + separation. (Pain is resistance to feeling.)

Allowing + Accepting + Surrender ==> Feelings flowing from Solar Plexus to Heart to Crown Chakra ==> Oneness + non-separation ==> Ecstacy.

Surrender = to join forces, thereby causing oneness & non-separation. Surrender = to acknowledge & accept who you really are. To surrender into who you really are automatically creates alignment and balance. "Surrender" here does not mean surrender to others, but to the real you. Vulnerability = non-separation.

There is no other cause of pain than judgement. To release the pain, you have to nullify (align) the judgement. When the judgement is aligned, the claws of resistance (resistance to feeling), which you experience as pain, are dissolved into your own Light. This leaves you with what is now neutral energy in the Solar Plexus, which is now free to move up to the Heart, and then to the Crown chakra. This produces oneness and non-separation, which produces ecstacy.

Allowance is not a doing, but a non-doing (surrender). No matter what it is, if it exists, it is an expression of Divinity ... so Allow it! Embrace it into your own God-Light! http://iasos.com/metaphys/#PTaah

sharp awareness and intense presence are needed in the transmutation of negativities and bringing darkness into the light. alchemical processes are needed to thrive at home, at work and in travel. checkout http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/52713/very-interesting-video-interview-with-michael-brown-about-how-we-feel-about-our-family-mirrors-back-to-us-our-true-relationship-with-ourselves-and-god.

The Presence Process integrate blocked emotions. Once these blocked emotions – energies in motion – are liberated, the consequence is reflected automatically in shifts in our physical, mental, and emotional experience. It uses Consciously Connected Breathing 15min 2/day. The Presence Process, Edition 2 can be downloaded here. This goes well together with releasing techniques.

use releaser99's brute force method to regain emergency emotional control.

Eckhart Tolle mentioned the insanity of the caterpillar. during transformation, the ego undergoes death as a caterpillar, metamorphosis and rebirth as a butterfly. checkout http://www.zaporacle.com/card/metamorphosis/


answered 02 Feb '13, 15:49

don's gravatar image


edited 18 Feb '13, 19:07

(18 Feb '13, 19:55) ursixx
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