It All comes down to Faith and Trust, they only become apparent amidst the seeming challenges. God has your back Jai...He/She Always does.

God has my back...let that be your new mantra :)

And feel free to substitute the word 'God' for that which resonates with you most. The evolutionary impulse that drives the Universe doesn't care what You call It.

I'm going to answer the question you asked - AS ASKED. Please don't view anything I say as personal. I'm speaking in general. If something resonates with you, great & if not applicable, that's ok too - perhaps it will be helpful to someone else.

"Are we just blaming God for when things get bad?"

I think the reason people blame God when things get bad is because they do NOT want to take any responsibility for their own actions. They don't want to admit that bad things happen due to their own decisions, mistakes or doubts. It's always someone else's fault. It's also easier to blame & accuse someone else then accept responsibility.

Some people may be too terrified to look deep inside their self & admit fault. Sometimes people just need someone to blame for their actions because it is their coping method or they are in denial. They aren't able to even entertain the possibility that it could be their own doing, be it consciously or unconsciously, let alone accept their part.

Blaming God is a way to avoid or shift responsibility. People who blame God when things go bad are trying to manipulate God according to one spiritual author I heard speak.

Are "Spiritual Tests" real?

If you believe they are real, then they are & these tests become your reality & you'll continue to create more and more tests for whatever reason.

I think it's another excuse for NOT taking responsibility either based on subconscious beliefs or because of all the same reasons I gave above.

I also think many people, deep down, KNOW they are responsible; but continue to blame God for whatever reason. They live their lives in blame & shame & guilt - all the lowest vibes on EMG scale & create unconsciously ~ hell on earth. You can just as easily create heaven on earth if you choose too.

ETA Nothing is ever black & white. One answer doesn't fit all. WTS ~

Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for what happens in life & no one to hold responsible; not even yourself. If it gives that person comfort to think they are being spiritually tested ~ Great and I mean this with all sincerity.

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Personal note -

Jai - I'm very sorry this happened to you & these health issues continue to follow you. I completely agree with @LeeAnn 's heartfelt & compassionate answer. LeeAnn did a beautiful job explaining why God does NOT punish us. We've discussed this before to the point where you either got angry or hurt. I really hope you listen to LeeAnn & take her advice to heart. God doesn't reward or punish Jai. This image you have of a vengeful God is a false belief.

I think You are living an 'illusion' based on someone else's belief's. These false beliefs of a vengeful God were instilled into your subconscious when you were very young by others ~ parents ~ adults ~ authority figures or your families religion. Some churches teach this type of poppycock. If yours does, please think abut finding a church which believes in a loving God.

People Who Blame God, Do NOT Know God

.. as @Michaela said "Believe & Trust in a Loving God".

...and in my opinion ...

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. ~ John Lennon

Whether you believe we are God or part of God is up to you. I know the "Spirit" of God resides in our hearts & when you blame God or believe in a vengeful God, you are believing in a false God ~ God is Love.

For the most part I completely agree with & believe what @Beach Baby said to @flow . I'm adding her quote to my post because it is very helpful & insightful & I would like to expand on it. It could be applicable to your situation if you allow yourself to be open to the message she is trying to convey. All of us only want the best for you & we all want you to heal & live your best life.

Flowsurfer, "you" do, as in each one of us creates our own personal experience, based on the beliefs we hold. We create negative experience based on negative beliefs we have unconsciously absorbed from others, or developed ourselves. I definitely do not mean that we do this to ourselves deliberately. Love and compassion are the only true things in the universe, pain and suffering occur due to false beliefs.**

I'm not saying you are intentionally doing this to yourself but please think about this - is it possible you are creating misery unconsciously?

These "beliefs" are stored in our subconscious when we are young, a time when we had no way to 'filter' this info. Many of us are totally oblivious to the fact that these subconscious beliefs are still running our lives by creating the experiences we are having today.

The first step is to become aware of these subconscious beliefs & how they came to be. Ask yourself these questions - where, by who & why. Once you determine the origin & know these subconscious beliefs belong to someone else, you'll see how they affect & create your reality today. Discard the beliefs which do not serve you ~ those beliefs were never yours in the first place..

Here are a couple examples of false belief's which could be embedded in a young persons psyche by adults or religion.

Did you ever believe premarital sex was a sin & if you partook in this activity, you were evil or maybe even be destined to burn in hell? Some children grew up to believe sex was only for procreation & if you enjoyed sex you would go to Hell with all the other 'dirty' sinners.

Or the parent who lived in lack & never believed in taking a vacation or buying a luxury item even tho they had enough money to do so. They lived in fear - afraid to spend money - saving - thinking an impending disaster could happen at any time. The subconscious of a child developed the belief it was wrong if you didn't save or you were bad if you spent money on a vacation or something your parents would view as foolish. That child grows up, lives in the 'future' & lack mindset & never takes a vacation.

What about the kid who was repeatedly told he was dumb & wouldn't amount to anything . . . OR . . . when your Dad told you he wouldn't sign the financial papers so you could attend college because he thought you would just get pregnant & it would be a waste. When you heard your Dad speak those words, how did it make you feel? Worthless or unworthy? Even tho you were older when he said this, these words became your 'beliefs' because of all the other trauma & abuse you endured as a child. All these words were stored in your subconscious & became your beliefs.

I think its possible for anyone to create unconsciously without realizing they are the one creating these experiences & their own reality.

I've told you this before ~ if you can't let go of your past, it will take its toll at a cellular level. Disease sets it. A body can only take so much abuse & you're 57. You despised yourself for years & you were killing yourself slowly by smoking 4 packs of a cigarettes a day and eating junk & whole pies when you were diabetic. Why? I think it was because you didn't love yourself or see yourself as worthy.

My advice would be forgiveness ~ forgive others & forgive yourself & let go of your past hurts & wounds & old subconscious beliefs before they destroy you.

I know you quit & you are exercising & eating right. You've said many times "you tried & tried; but you CAN'T let go of your past." Yes, you can ~ you are more powerful than you KNOW. Maybe the first step to leaving your past behind is to learn how to love yourself. You deserve so much better than this. You really really do.

I believe love heals & I also believe laughter heals. When was the last time you laughed Jai? You know how good that makes you feel. Can you even recall the last time you nearly pee'd your pants laughing?

Wishing You a Time For Laughter & Healing with
Love & Light ~ Ele

Why would God test you? There is no point to it at all. God is the one to blame when things get bad. Otherwise the word "God" would be meaningless. In the Bible it is written:

"I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster;" ; "No one can hold back his hand or say to him: "What have you done?""

This is the definition of the word "God". God is the only power; not the strongest power but the only power. Only God can do evil and only God can do good. Your breath and your very thoughts, feelings and every sensation including pain and pleasure are created by God. This to me is self-evident and it has brought me some relief but also some distress. The distress comes from the notion that I cannot escape the hand of a God that does not seem to particularly like me; I cannot even bargain with God because there is nothing for me to give him because all that I have comes from him.

This is why I have told you to look into Neville Goddard before, something I felt you ignored. He makes a good argument, which he backs up by experience, that what is taught by the jewish (and therefore christian) texts is that God is the center of our being, that we are, at the core, God. This is what the law of attraction is based on. It means the evil that falls upon us is simply due to forgetfulness brought about by assuming the human form of how to exercise our creative power, which is God's creative power. Neville described it as "imagination", he claimed we saw God's activity within us in our imagining and that the only thing we had to do to achieve anything at all was to deliberately focus our imagination, to break the mental habits that have created our lives in the past.

I have my doubts but I also realize as Simon Peter "to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.". Everything else is empty and meaningless. To think God is in you, as you, and that the only salvation is through yourself, is hard. But to think God is "testing" is insane. There is no purpose for God to cause you to suffer, there is no profit for him.

The only thing that we should remember is that an immortal and omnipotent being has a different perspective to that of a mortal, impotent being, that is, because you think you were born at one point and will die at another and that what happens cannot be changed you give a lot of importance to experiences. The perspective of God on the other hand is closer to that of a painter, who does not feel afraid of making mistakes in process of creating a piece of art. I have noticed that you have very dark, negative thought patterns within you, from childhood. I have also noticed that you sought comfort in the idea of a personal, external God. In some senses it is true that God is external. He is not however, independent from you and you are not independent from him. God and I are one being, the distinction is simply that of different aspects, sides or depths of that one being.

It is very strange this existence thing. I certainly do not feel like I am God, I feel actually trapped, victimized and impotent. Yet, there is something in me that says that does not make any sense; it is completely insane to believe God would create us and then keep us trapped, torturing us. This something is not "learned" from books, at least not explicitly. God is the invisible power which creates the visible world; we are the center which perceives the world. We are forced to perceive what God creates but what would guide God's creation if not ourselves? I went into a tailspin of depression several years ago and one day I read this and it made me cry:

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."

There is a power which can make all things new and wipe away all tears. I know this because if there wasn't, things would not exist. I have to always remember this.

hi..jai

first of all..really sorry for all the pain that ur going through. may God take away all your pain as soon as possible.

few days back a friend of me had attended a seminar of a spiritual guru of india. he teaches everything..including reiki , astral surgery n many more. so, particularly that day when my friend attended...he was taking classes for "astral surgery".. and he taught a lot about balancing your past karmas.

he told a lot about karma and proved that also. he said..if you have any suffering in your present life...or any major health problem..that is cos of your past karmas. now i l tell u hw he proved that..there was a lady in the seminar who was suffering from severe gangrene since, many many years. she did..everything..took medicines, did surgeries but all failed. finally..she opted for some spiritual solution. so..our guru..took her in deep trance for 3 hours. and checked her past karma. n he found that she was a a guy in her past life..who killed and tortured people. and in her past life she had cut a leg of an innocent person and thts y she was suffering with gangrene in this lifetime...that too same leg tht she had cut in her past life.so..he simply asked her..in deep trance to go back..to her past life..in her mind and apolojise to that same person for what she did.

she did all that. and you won't believe what happened after that. she got completely rcovered ..just in next 2 months.., her years of gangrene completely vanishes just in 2 months..that too without a simple medicine. adjunct to this..she also used.."pyramids "for healing.

this is a true story. and my purpose of telling this to u is.., why don't you try .."past regression therapy".., "astral surgery" or "pyramid therapy". i read somewhere..that there is always a spiritual cause for what so ever effect"u are now seeing in ur life and if its not what u want then.., there is spiritual solution also.

hope this helps you..

i just wanna see both of you ..jai n wade extremly happy and enjoying ur properous life together.

love,light and blessings ur way..

supergirl ;))

"When tempted, no one should say, God is tempting me. For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone." (James 1:13, 14) Hence there are no spiritual tests, no reward no punishment, but only CONSEQUENCES. Put it simply, history is a drama of two collective characters: FREE-WILL and DESTINY. Once an action is CHOSEN, its result is DETERMINED! Whether visible/perceptible or not, a cause always precedes the effect! Hence when you choose to act in a certain way, you are, in effect, choosing the appropriate results. tdjaum "AT" gmail.com