This is a question that I have wondered about for a long time. I'm struggling to articulate it clearly, I hope this makes sense.

I understand that I can do/be/have anything I want, and I understand the reasons why that is so. It makes perfect sense to me. Simply put, whatever vibration I consistently offer attracts that which is like unto itself, and manifests as part of my experience. As I can deliberately mold the vibration I offer, I can decide what I want to include and/or exclude from my life.

My question comes from also understanding that I may have decided before incarnating upon certain experiences, circumstances, or limitations that I would like to include in this lifetime for reasons of my own - reasons that I don't appear to have access to now. Perhaps my idea was to broaden my understanding, or to feel the thrill of overcoming, or simply for the love of having as many diverse physical experiences as I possibly can. :)

So, if I have both of these premises correct, and I did decide before this current incarnation that I wanted to experience a given set of circumstances, can I change my mind now? Can I remove or change whatever I decided upon? Also, how can I differentiate which circumstances were part of these decisions, and which were not?

I've always thought, looking back on my life, if I had known that certain things were something I'd long ago decided on experiencing, would I have dealt with them better, or simply enjoyed life more, struggling less, realizing that I had acutually chosen them, and perhaps didn't have the power to change? But that just doesn't seem right, knowing that I can create what I choose to now. I'm hoping for insight that will help me understand this.

I managed to finally get this question formed after reading @Stingray's answer and comments on this question:

I would appreciate any thoughts you have on this, thank you.

Love, Grace :)

asked 16 Nov '14, 01:12

Grace's gravatar image


edited 16 Nov '14, 01:13


Briliant question @Grace. I have always been puzzled by this question and specifically, I was thinking yesterday if I should ask this on IQ. I put this coincidence down to the synchonicities that we 30-day vortex challengers now habitually experience :-)

I'd be very interested to read @Stingray's take on this.

(16 Nov '14, 02:47) cod2

Yes it seems like whenever Abraham cannot explain certain physical limitations using the Law of Attraction, they will say that we have chosen to experience it before we projected ourselves into this physical world.

(17 Nov '14, 10:24) kakaboo

This reminds me of the old story of being faced with two paths. The fork in the road you have to decide which road to take and once you do there is no turning around to go back and pick the other road. It would be nice if we could say,"Whoa there, hold on God. I didn't realize what I was choosing. Can I go back and choose again?"

Too bad we don't have trial lives, huh? Guaranteed satisfaction or you can change for a different life. Wait a moment that guy is a millionaire! Oh that is model 33.7

(18 Nov '14, 19:34) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi - I remember that story, only as I recall there were a thousand paths to choose from and each of those had a thousand more all interwoven with an infinite number of crossroads:) We don't need to ask God if we can go back to a path not chosen. With the entire map at his fingertips, he can suggest when to go left, when to veer right, and when to stay the course so that we might find our way to move forward and onto whichever path we desire.

(20 Nov '14, 17:30) i4cim2b

@Grace - Hi, checkout This Bashar video clip for another perspective on this question:)

(20 Nov '14, 17:44) i4cim2b

@i4cim2b - Loved that video. Great reminder. I lived this recently when a friend of a friend had a strong negative reaction to some very beautiful circumstances. She just could not enjoy what this group of friends was reveling in. Several of us tried to help her, but ended up realizing that she preferred her place in the dark (I think she feels a kind of safety in it)...

(20 Nov '14, 20:40) Grace

... I remember feeling that way a long time ago. Perhaps that's why she tried very hard to get me to come into the dark with her. Bashar's "No thanks!" made me lol because that's exactly what I said, and walked away happier for the defining experience. The joy was in the contrast, and in my decision. :)

(20 Nov '14, 20:41) Grace
showing 0 of 7 show 7 more comments

Hello Grace, I have often pondered this question and can offer you my current views on the subject. I try not to draw any conclusions as they have a tendency to change over time. There are, however, some good clues out there that apply to this line of inquiry.

Let's start with the idea summed up in the phrase "You create your own reality". If that is the case then whatever I experience, my perceptions, the events that make up my life, and so on are all my doing. Things are not happening to me. I am making things happen, regardless of whether I pre-planned them or not. I alone am responsible for my journey into physical. I may have wanted to do certain things, overcome certain limitations, or face some difficult challenges.

As a soul at home in my non- physical form with no body (no pun intended) to support, feed, and drag out of bed each morning, I was probably full of enthusiasm about what I was sure I could accomplish in this life. I may have agreed to all sorts of things, signed contracts with angels and spirit guides, hoping to impress those older and more advanced souls who encourage me and stand ready and prepared to guide me, protect me, and place before me opportunity after opportunity so that I might fulfill what I was determined to fulfill. They would do all this because of the love that surrounds us in that reality as it flows from the source of all that is. We are all familiar with what it is like when we are at home and in the light of source energy.

Therefore, not only do we create our own reality, we do so with the unconditional love of source and all those who are supporting us in our endeavors. The keyword (and additional clue) is "unconditional". Regardless of what you or I may have planned, it is unlikely that we would have remembered that we would be trying to fulfill those goals while swimming in the quicksand of physical reality. Make all the changes you like. Blow off the pre-planned agenda entirely and decide instead on taking a life long vacation. There are no conditions being placed on our existence. The love of all that is will be the same when we re-emerge into our natural non-physical state, regardless of how we choose to get through this life. We will not be judged for the decisions we made, nor will we be scolded for changing the plans.

Another clue can be found within the concept of free will. Free will is the power of choice. It is life's control console and your birthright. You can choose to give it away or choose to allow someone else to take it from you for as long as you like. Every decision you make is an exercise of free will. Changing your mind is free will in action. No soul would or source will criticize nor judge you for exercising free will. Knowing that I create my own reality with the unconditional love and support from the source of my existence and therefore All That Is and doing so of my own free will, I would have to suggest that changing your mind is practically a non-issue.

What about all that pre-planning? All things considered, you might wonder how anyone can stick with the plan? It is not so hard as you might imagine. After you have decided what is you want to get out of each particular life, that is when the real planning begins. Fortunately, there are advanced souls who specialize in the creation of what Seth refers to as reincarnational dramas. Reincarnation is always a group effort where everyone plays a part for the mutual benefit of all others in the group. What kind of parents will you need push you in the right direction. Maybe you need sibling or two to give you a competitive attitude or an aunt always around to spank you to keep you on track. Your grandfather from a previous life could be your husband (or mother in law) in this life because something about the guys' personality just makes you want what you planned. They are all playing a role with your goals in mind and at the same time, you will be one of the people playing a role in their life and helping them to fulfill the plan they made before incarnating. There might be many souls involved with you interwoven into the fabric that is your life. You or any one of them can change their mind and it will likely have little effect on the plans of the others.

Last but certainly not least will be the body you will choose for yourself. My understanding is that you get to pick from only two or three, any of which will been suited to your particular needs. If being overweight an unattractive in high school helps you to focus on your education so you can become the doctor and fulfill your desire to be a healer, then that desire will be reflected in the choices available to you. Take a close look at the people in your life Grace, and by all means, have fun considering the endless possibilities of an endless existence.:) I hope this helps to answer your question! For more information concerning life between lives, I suggest reading "Destiny of Souls" by Micheal Newton.


answered 16 Nov '14, 10:34

i4cim2b's gravatar image


@i4cim2b - Thank you for your answer. I find myself wondering what would be the point of any sort of pre planning if every thought I have alters all of it? And thanks for the book recommendation, I will check it out. :)

(16 Nov '14, 23:23) Grace

@i4cim2b- I also want to look into that book; I think I will check it out. I remember coming from Heaven... Blessings, :)

(17 Nov '14, 03:32) Jaianniah

@Grace-@i4cim2b- I have often wondered just how good most people are at thinking.I guess I am referring to intentioned, deliberate thinking.My experience suggests that it is really hard to discipline our minds.@Wade Casaldi had told me a neat story about how he manifested his perfect bike when he was a kid.That story leads me to believe that really clear, concise thought, as with a kid wishing for something, may be the answer. Almost a burst of creative thinking. "Be as little children." ♥

(17 Nov '14, 03:41) Jaianniah

@i4cim2b - I hope you're still around here sometimes. I just reread your answer and got more out of it than I did originally. I've since read several Michael Newton's books, they provide a very clear perspective, I'm glad I read them.

Having lived some more life since the original post, I now I see that this answer is absolutely brilliant. It resonates with me very deeply. I'm going to give it some more thought and enjoy the heck out of everything, even more than I already do. Thank you! :)

(22 Jun '23, 13:32) Grace

Dear Grace, I appreciate your comment and would like to thank you in return. You provided me with the opportunity to revisit your question and the answer I offered in response. In a sense, you allowed me to hear from my past self, so that he could remind me of some things I seem to have forgotten. So again, thank you. And yes, I'm still around and have been responding to some of the more recent questions. Unfortunatly, they appear far less frequently than in the past.

(28 Jun '23, 18:37) i4cim2b
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

the 'lords of karma' have their
say, presenting the balance
to be worked on this lifetime

you have your say as of the
age of reason to decide
how to handle the present


answered 18 Nov '14, 07:23

fred's gravatar image


Only the starting point of the illusion i.e. seeming your ethnicity, specific aspects of physique, religion in home or not etc. All the rest of completely determined by your choices of perception and therefore vibration from birth (: or perhaps in the prenatal stages :) because there are an infinite number of potential paths from any given point and you make a using sensory self and your Self (: all of YOU :) ensures life unfolds accordingly. It's just a creative experience for it's own sake.


answered 16 Nov '14, 05:49

harsha's gravatar image


@harsha - Thank you for your answer.

(16 Nov '14, 23:25) Grace

Hi, @Grace. Perhaps you have heard of The Great Debate. This is the philosophical argument between free will and determinism.

Determinism is the belief that "all events in the world are the result of some previous event, or events. In this view, all of reality is already in a sense pre-determined or pre-existent and, therefore, nothing new can come into existence."(1) If you go with determinism, then everything you did after incarnation would be the result of that first decision. Everything after that decision would be determined by that first decision. I am oversimplifying determinism here- there are many facets to this belief. Genes that a person are born with would help "keep" you within the bounds that you selected before birth; this is assuming that you also chose to whom you would be born. I would think that you would choose that crucial factor in helping you to achieve your desire.

I have to say that the idea of pre-selecting your life makes some sense. Many people seem to have been born with a strong purpose and seem to achieve much because this purpose is so strong in them. Proponents of determinism would have to say that if you, Grace, came here with an "agenda", then everything you do after that decision would come out of that original point. I would think that if you somehow got off track (which determinism would say is not possible), then you would feel a sense of "wrongness" about the life events you are experiencing.

The other side of "The Great Debate" is Free Will. Free will is defined in this debate says that "we as conscious human beings are free to make genuinely undetermined choices in circumstances where we are genuinely able to do so, and where we so freely, or (relevantly) constrainedly, choose to do so."(2) As manifesters, we must align with this side of the debate. We believe that at any given moment, we are creating our reality. So if we did decide to experience certain things, then at any time, we can choose to move in the direction towards your goals.

I know that your question has to do with that original choice, and the idea that we choose to experience certain things after we incarnate. But I thought it would make sense to discuss The Great Debate, because I sense that you need a way to understand that if we do choose our lives before birth, how that would play out, and how much we can change from that decision. You asked,

Can I change my mind now? Can I remove or change whatever I decided upon?

If life comes out of determinism, then no, you could not change events from your original decision. Determinism is the way of science in the 19th century. That world has set and finite laws, and everything obeys those laws. That is a way of thinking about reality that served for a time. So maybe you are trying to understand how it would play out in life if you made a pre-life decision to experience a certain reality. Believing deterministically, then would mean that in this life, even that decision you made in Heaven before birth would follow that determinist constraint. You would then be stuck with that decision throughout that lifetime.

But we know better about the nature of reality. Quantum mechanics tells us that at a deep level, reality does not flow deterministically. Manifesting tells us that we are always choosing, whether we want to admit it or not. Free Will would go along with that idea.

There is genuine freedom in the world. When we observe it from the outside, it takes the form of quantum-mechanical unpredictability; when we observe it from within, we call it our free will. We know that the reason why our behavior is unpredictable from the outside is that we have ultimate freedom of choice. This freedom is the very essence of our personalities, the treasure of our lives. It is given us as the first element of the world we come into.(3)

This is what I think, for what it is worth. I do think that we choose to experience certain events in our lives before birth. I have mentioned this in some of my writing here on IQ. I have told that I remember leaving Heaven (or whatever you choose that reality before birth). I know that I chose to experience a certain path, but I "jumped" too soon, and many of the circumstances I have experienced have felt wrong to me; I have sensed that wrongness all my life. Maybe you sense something, as I do. Struggling against this wrongness, trying to set everything back to our original choice fits with manifesting also. Perhaps that is why you and I are here on IQ. We want to know that we can align ourselves any way we want. I know that I was looking for a way to "get back on track"- maybe that track is one I chose.

The crux of it is this: Say you chose to experience suffering. Some would say that is totally crazy, but there are lessons to be learned in suffering. We learn patience, humility, grace (pun intended), and even, perhaps, we want to explore a greater spirituality that can sometimes be found in suffering. I won't get into that belief, but I think you catch my drift here. If you were sure you chose that as an experience before birth, then you would not struggle so much with all the problems associated with your decision to "suffer". (I have explored this as I have tried to give some meaning to my own suffering. You might check that out. I found much about the lessons of suffering in spiritual writing.) One example of this is the struggles I have having to use a wheelchair. I really hate being in my wheelchair, and having someone push me around. (Freudian slip? Hmm.) My ex-husband liked me in my wheelchair. He would push me right past the things I wanted to see if he felt that it was not to his purpose. This made me nuts. Wade does not do this, but I still hate losing my free will when I have to ride in that chair. I try to control everything. It is pretty silly of me to direct every little thing that happens when I am "incarcerated" in the chair.

So to finish up this long spiel...When you think in a deterministic way, you are confining yourself to those conditions you set for yourself before birth. But I ask you this (and myself): If something "feels" wrong, then did we indeed choose to experience it? If we are struggling, then perhaps it is because we did not want that for ourselves. It is a twisty little conundrum. Are we struggling against events because we did not choose to experience those events, or because we find those experiences really difficult?

I have to thank you for asking this question. Writing this answer has helped clarify my own thinking about how my life has gone, and about how I struggle against reality sometimes. I am responsible for how I respond to the events that unfold in my life, no matter whether I chose them or not. As I suggested, maybe this is why you and I came to Inward Quest. What is even more profound is the idea that I am always creating my reality with my thinking. In this light, then, if something feels wrong, then all I have to do is shift my thinking towards free will, and I must try to remember that I am creating everything that is going on.


Jai ♥♥♥ :)

(1) (A good link explaining The Great Debate)

(2 +3)Ibid.


answered 16 Nov '14, 07:51

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 16 Nov '14, 11:06

@Jaianniah - Thanks for thoughtful answer. It seems like a person can only decide on one or the other way of thinking. I don't see them blending in my world where I believe that I create what I experience.

(16 Nov '14, 23:16) Grace

@Grace- Sure you can! That is part of free will. It is based on quantum mechanics. We can affect events with our thoughts & intent. I just wanted to explain how philosophy has dealt with this- I do not think I helped you much, though. I will call you soon, and maybe we can figure this out together! Thanks for honesty. :) Well, maybe not figure it out, but talk about that prelife stuff. Blessings. ♥

(17 Nov '14, 03:31) Jaianniah

Even if you are in this world of duality what is stopping you from making any personal choice you want? standard? peer pressure? rule and regulation? who made those choice? for what reason?

if they made some choice that affect other people why can you not make choice that affect you alone?

Who can blame you for making choice for your self?

Let me ask you this: if someone plan a trip and on is trip he encounter obstacle that was not plan will he make a proper choice to first remove the obstacle if not possible go around it if not possible change plan. or will he say can I make different choice if their is obstacle on the path? one way or another he will have to learn from this and make the proper choice.

So what is stopping you from using the time imparted to you wisely?

Let there be light, be the light that you can be,experience and enjoy.


answered 17 Nov '14, 05:04

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

@white tiger - Nothing is stopping me! :) But there is nothing stopping me from thinking and asking questions about how things work either. Thank you for your answer.

(17 Nov '14, 11:10) Grace

@Grace - And what wonderful, thoughtful, and insightful questions they are. We wannabe teachers would be lost without the pleasant inner dialogues a personality such as yours has to offer:) Thank you!

Eyes wide open always hoping for the sun He'll sing his song to anyone that comes along

(19 Nov '14, 00:42) i4cim2b

@i4cim2b - Spinning laughing dancing to my favorite song. Thanks for the easy boost up to my Vortex this morning. ;)

(19 Nov '14, 10:33) Grace
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

My current view is that, as in any debate of this type, the truth is somewhere in the middle.

The soul determines the circumstances of the birth. That bit is pre-determined. From then on it's up to free will.

Free will is however constrained by the birth circumstances, or what is known as destiny. The fact that you and I are sitting in front of our laptops, typing away this stuff, instead of being born as chickens and ending up as dinner tells me that we have no conscious control over our birth circumstances. Once we are born as humans or chickens, we accept certain boundaries which no amount of LOA or free will can change. A chicken can wish all it might to become a lion, but it will never be one - at least not in this life. Similarly, the fact that some people do not get LOA or the fact that I am not as good as @Stingray in manifesting is probably down to whatever limitations our souls accepted before birth.

Yes, in theory everyone can change their circumstances by conscious use of LOA, but who detrermines if they "get" LOA or not in the first place? It's certainly not them. The vast majority of people go through their lives unfulfilled, unhappy and unaware of this stuff. It's not their fault if they were not given the equipments to appreciate these things in the first place.

Update following conversation with @Grace

I am not saying someone else is granting you permission to start getting it. The entity that gave you the permission is also you, but not the physical you. You yourself before incarnating chose your circumstances, and I am saying the physical you is now bound by the boundaries of those circumstances. You and I clearly have chosen to be born in circumstances that would one day allow us to live in relative comfort amidst technology and expand much more easily than, say, the soul that decided to experience life as a member of a nomadic tribe in Africa.

It's not a question of whether his life is better or worse than ours, but the boundaries are different, and those boundaries are set as soon as the soul decides what kind of life it wants to experience. The nomad who has never seen a book or a radio is much less likely to come across and apply LOA than you and me. Do you agree?

The boundary you chose gives you a lot of room to grow, but it's still a boundary. If you choose the life of a nomad, you must know that you are likely to enounter a certain kind of life experiences which are likely to mould the physical you in a certain way, and you are much less likely to enounter certain other experiences (e.g. LOA) in that incarnation. So what the soul decides to a large extent determines how far we are going to go in this particular life.

Now I know we can change the boundary. I know that I can walk through walls if I really, really believe I can. But the problem, you see, is that I don't have the power to believe that. It's not in my control at this point in time to give me that power. Yes, you will find one person in a million who has that power. Who decided that it'd be that specific person with that power but not me? Certainly not that physical person, and certainly not this physical me. It's something beyond our physical selves.

There is one other important angle. If we accept the premise of LOA (which I totally do), then we are saying everything has a cause, and that cause is always thought.

If we accept that, then we cannot in the same breath say that it's completely random when someone would begin to "get" the metaphysical side of life and start acquiring powers of various degrees. That must also have been decided by a cause, which is also thought.

But that thought couldn't have been thought by the physical person - because it's self-referencing. That point in time where someone "gets" it and starts a spiritual journey must be set by an entity other than the physical person, because the physical person is not even aware that there is something worth "getting" in the first place. And in my opinion, it's the soul that ultimately decides when the physical body "gets" it.


answered 16 Nov '14, 14:42

cod2's gravatar image


edited 18 Nov '14, 07:03

@cod2 - The LOA brings the knowledge of the LOA to your experience when you are vibrationally ready for it. It always works, whether you are aware of its existence or not. That's why this question bugs me! :) Thank you for your answer.

Oh hey lol did I just answer my own question? Maybe the decisions that you make before you incarnate are in place until you are vibrationally ready to change them if you like...? Hmmmmm....

(16 Nov '14, 23:40) Grace

But who decides exactly when we become vibrationally ready to receive the knowledge of LOA?

(17 Nov '14, 02:15) cod2

@cod2 - It's not a decision or permission that is somehow granted by someone outside of you. If for example you have a strong belief that humans have absolutely no power over their circumstances, you are probably far from a vibrational range where you can accept the existence of the LOA. Once you begin thinking deeply about life and who you really are, you are likely more open to the idea that your thoughts have some effect on the world around you....

(17 Nov '14, 11:59) Grace

...which brings you within vibrational range of teachers, books, and websites like say, Inward Quest. :) When the student is ready, the teacher will come.

@Stingray explains this much better than I do. There's a quote from him that I've been searching for to share with you, but I haven't been able to find it yet. He says that until you are ready, the things we talk about here on IQ will just sound like "blah, blah, blah" lol! :) I will post the link here for you when I find it.

(17 Nov '14, 11:59) Grace

@Grace, I did not say someone else is granting you permission. You yourself before incarnating chose your circumstances, and I am saying the physical you is now bound by the boundaries of those circumstances. You and I clearly have chosen to be born in circumstances that would one day allow us to live in relative comfort amidst technology and expand much more easily than, say, the soul that has decided to experience life as a member of a nomadic tribe in Africa.

(18 Nov '14, 02:19) cod2

@Grace - ... It's not a question of whether his life is better or worse than ours, but the boundaries are different, and those boundaries are set as soon as the soul decides what kind of life it wants to experience. The nomad who has never seen a book or a radio is much less likely to come across and apply LOA than you and me. Do you agree?

(18 Nov '14, 02:22) cod2

@Grace - ...The boundary you chose gives you a lot of room to grow, but it's still a boundary. If you choose the life of a nomad, you must know that you are likely to enounter a certain kind of life experiences which are likely to mould the physical you in a certain way, and you are much less likely to enounter certain other experiences (e.g. LOA) in that incarnation. So what the soul decides to a large extent determines how far we are going to go in this particular life. That's all I am saying.

(18 Nov '14, 02:32) cod2

@cod2 - "The nomad who has never seen a book or a radio is much less likely to come across and apply LOA than you and me. Do you agree?" No, I don't see it that way. :) The LOA is a universal law and can be learned through observation and experience alone. In fact, that is really the only way to learn it. We enjoy the guidance of many wise folks here, and I'm very glad of that, but ultimately what you learn comes from the direct personal experience of what you are guided to...

(18 Nov '14, 11:36) Grace

...Also, the things that we learn here are actually very ancient wisdom, and I have no doubt that shamans and other spiritual leaders help their people along this path. They may call it something different, and don't have the fun with Focus Blocks as we do, but the wisdom and truth are universal, and always have been. :)

(18 Nov '14, 11:36) Grace
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