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I have been battling with a negative belief that is really blocking all my efforts to feel better. The belief is that nothing I do is good enough, nothing will make a difference, nothing ever changes and it doesn't matter how hard I try, it is just not good enough and it will just not make a difference. Now, I know where this comes from, it is from when I was very young, but I only recently really became aware of the way this thought-form runs around in my head constantly. It feels to me that this thought-form is blocking everything else because everything I do is undermined. And it feeds off the fact that things in my physical reality are not changing (yet), so it gets stronger and stronger. I have been doing EFT and Faster EFT and stream of consciousness writing and talking to the 'part' to give it a voice and trying all sorts of methods, but I am just not getting this to shift. It particularly gets me when I can't sleep. I wake up at 4 in the morning and it runs and runs through my head. Or when I am up and getting ready for work in the morning, it just keeps running around and around my head. I would really appreciate any thoughts on this. Should I be breaking it down more? Are there set-up statements in EFT I could use that would work better? What else can I try? |
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Hi, Let me give you a couple of suggestions that have worked for me in similar situations.
Hope it helps! Keep us posted. "Is it true" so powerful!
(12 Feb '15, 00:25)
ursixx
Yes @ursixx. I've been applying it for the last couple of months and I discovered so many things that I took as truth and lived (and suffered) because of it. Incredible. As Eckhart Tolle says: "Don't take your thoughts so seriously" hehe.
(12 Feb '15, 00:42)
Kriegerd
@Kriegerd, thank you so much. I am doing many of the things you suggest, like meditation and the self-esteem paraliminal (just started that one) so I am sure something will shake loose eventually. I will try to break down the issue further and further to smaller parts and see if that works any better. I find that I don't get much relief from the EFT sessions and the next day it is just back again, so maybe tapping on all the smaller issues will help more. But then there isn't much emotion...
(12 Feb '15, 05:02)
Antheia
@Kriegerd ...with the smaller issues, so I don't know if the EFT will work at all. In terms of 'is it true', well no, it isn't. Knowing that isn't helping to shift it though. I am also aware that there is suppressed anger, but I can't get that to release, it is too suppressed and just won't budge. So I keep being pulled down into depression and I can't seem to move up the scale. All very frustrating!
(12 Feb '15, 05:06)
Antheia
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@Antheia, you're more than welcome. I've found the Paraliminal to be really good. Do you do regular EFT or FasterEFT? The same thing happened to me before in terms of effectiveness, I actually stopped doing EFT/FasterEFT because of that. I picked it up about half a year ago again and it's been amazing. I have a couple of links and suggestions for that:
(12 Feb '15, 10:52)
Kriegerd
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It's important that you get in touch with what you're feeling and how you know you have a problem (in Robert's words). I noticed for myself that before I wasn't aiming well. I was feeling bad and tapping like crazy but not aiming properly. For example, you're feeling frustrated. How do you know you feel frustrated? Is it a physical sensation, an image, etc. Imagine you're a sniper and you isolate that symptom, if it's physical then your sight would be on the body part, if mental then on the..
(12 Feb '15, 10:57)
Kriegerd
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image or sound or how you represent that in your mind. Once you have that, start your tapping and don't focus on it anymore. Focus on the tapping itself, the sensation on your fingers, face, etc. If you feel really stuck do try MC2. The link above is for the audios and it was free with the code on the link (don't know if that changed). But you can listen to one exercise here (although I'd still recommend the audios): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufVBN0kIgf0#t=53
(12 Feb '15, 11:02)
Kriegerd
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Also on FasterEFT, I had the opportunity of watching 2 complete seminars of FasterEFT and it made a huge difference. Little tips here and there, changing the mindset while tapping, etc. It's A LOT of videos but definitely worth it. If you can find them I highly recommend them. Finally (sorry it's so long): Don't give up! Robert Smith says: "Persistence is your most powerful tool". I was really depressed for a long time with thoughts of wanting to die for the majority of last year and I was..
(12 Feb '15, 11:08)
Kriegerd
able to get out of that. Little by little. Looking for relief, no matter how little. You don't have to change the whole thing in a minute just gradually feel a little better. Sorry I forgot to address a point on your comments. Try reading The Work booklet (the formatting of my answer is not as I typed it), the process are the 5 questions, not just the "is it true?". The effect comes from doing the 5 questions as a unit. Her book "Loving What Is" is even better. You can do it! All the best!
(12 Feb '15, 11:17)
Kriegerd
@Kriegerd, thank you so much again! I am going to watch all these clips and I will keep going with it. I am not sure if I am aiming correctly. I am finding it quite difficult to connect with Faster EFT so I keep going back to EFT, but I am not really seeing results from that either - And I have been working with a practitioner and on my own. Thank you so much for your help with this!
(12 Feb '15, 11:42)
Antheia
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@Antheia, The aiming thing was big for me. If you want we can try to arrange a session (free of course). I would like to get more practice tapping and maybe could help your situation. If you feel like it I can create a private google group that way we don't have to share emails here. Let me know.
(12 Feb '15, 12:29)
Kriegerd
Would love to!
(12 Feb '15, 13:55)
Antheia
Here's the group. You have to login and apply for membership. That way we don't post our emails here. We can communicate through there and arrange the session: https://groups.google.com/forum/#!forum/clearingsession. All the best!
(12 Feb '15, 16:11)
Kriegerd
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Stop trying. When you try to remove a negative, you must focus on it more and, unless your attachment to it (: and it really is your attachment to it :) is small, you will end up digging yourself deeper into the hole. The best way to remove a negative is to focus more and more attention - gently, gradually - on the positive. Practice more appreciation and meditation than EFT, use EFT to tap into gratitude and appreciation and self-acceptance rather than attempt to remove blocks. Blocks are actually states you occupy mentally - you can never remove them because all things exist simultaneously, but you can occupy a different state. Gear your EFT more towards the desired state. "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. " Thank you for the comment @harsha, the thing is that I cannot live like this any more. I honestly don't want to sound dramatic, but I have to make changes to where I am in my life and this belief is blocking everything. Believe me, if I could just ignore it and focus on positives I would. Bottom line is I can't. So I have to try whatever I can or give up.
(12 Feb '15, 08:16)
Antheia
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I have the same issue with "not good enough", even though by worldly standards of success many would think I've done well. It is a very pervasive feeling/thought and I think especially made worse by the fact that I live in an environment with very intelligent and high functioning people. My internal dialogue is often "you shouldn't have said this", "you shouldn't have done that", "He/she thinks you're stupid". In fact in the last few days I've been really focussed on trying to get to the bottom of this too. I've started reading "What others think of me is none of my business" by Terry Cole-Whittaker. I hope that gives me some hints as to why I'm always comparing myself with others and feeling that I fall short. re-reading your question, I see yours is more about not being good enough to change things, but I think some of the underlying issues might be the same.
(11 Feb '15, 17:51)
Inner Beauty
Thank you. I think the issues are related, but the specific issue I am dealing with here is that nothing will change no matter what I do. That means that all the stuff I try to make things better gets undermined because it 'will never get better'. I do hope the book helps you! 'Not good enough' is not an easy one to shift.
(12 Feb '15, 05:08)
Antheia
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Got this in the mail thought I would share hope it helps You ever catch yourself thinking about something that happened, or worrying about something that might happen in the future? Most of us do that at some point during the day. It's easy, the mind just drifts. But then you may get stuck and you don't realize you're re-hashing the past or worrying about the future. And this prevents your power from bringing you what you want. That's because when you're thinking about the past or worrying about the future you're not living in the present moment and you're not letting your power work for you right now. It can't because you're not tapping into your amazing power in the present moment. Instead, you're misdirecting your power, not letting it work for you by focusing on the past or worrying about the future. You're not here, you're not living in the now, you're not enjoying the present moment and so your power can't work for you because you're not letting it work for you. When you're not living in the present moment you fail to direct your power and it can't help you improve your life and can't bring you what you really want. If you want to achieve success, happiness and live the life you want, start living in the now, be here now, by experiencing and appreciating the present moment for the gift that it is. We all live in the present moment but very few of us apply our power in the present moment. The only thing that exists is what is happening right now. The past does not exist. It's over with and should be nothing but a fading memory. The future does not exist, it simply hasn't happened yet. Both the past and the future are only a part of your thoughts and memories. They only exist in your mind and not in reality. The only thing that exists is the very present moment that you live in and from this present moment you can draw tremendous power. The kind of power that can change your life and allow you to achieve your goals. You may not like the present moment but that's only because you're thinking about what you feel the present should be. You're comparing the present moment to something else and not appreciating what is happening right now. You're either focusing on mistakes of the past, or your consumed with the future that hasn't happened and you're forgetting to live in the present moment. I know you might say: "Karim, right now I don't have a job and I can barely make ends meet. Plus my wife/husband just left me and I'm stuck with 3 kids. My present is not exactly pleasant." If you're present or current situation is not pleasant then you're comparing it to something else, you're comparing it to what you think it should be. You're probably thinking about what the now should be instead of appreciating the positive things you have in life. And then you need to direct your power to help you improve your current situation. If you don't have a job then you have to direct your power to help you find a job or direct your power to bring you the kind of job you want. Don't focus on the fact that you don't have a job, don't focus on how difficult it may seem to get a job. Simply direct your power to bring you the kind of job you want. Then do what you can to improve your current situation. At the end of the day, see where you are and direct your power to bring you what you want or direct your power to help you improve your life so that you no longer struggle and no longer worry. So today, appreciate the present moment, then direct your power to help you turn things around so that you start living the kind of life you want Don't compare your present situation to anything. Accept what your present is and make the most of it with the intention of making the present better and directing your power to help you achieve the success you want. When you apply your power in the present moment, you allow your power to work for you, and as you do this everyday your power begins to help you make the changes or improvements you want to make. You have to leave the past in the past. You have to stop worrying about the future. You have to live in the present moment and direct your power. When you appreciate and live in the present moment you send a powerful message to your inner powers and your subconscious mind. You tell them that you are here now and ready to get to work to improve your life. That you're ready to move forward and enjoy life, achieve your goals, and get what you desire.You're saying your ready to embrace a bright new life. Your powers and your subconscious mind then begin working for you because they only understand the present moment. Your subconscious and inner powers don't the future or the past. Your subconscious and inner powers only exist and work in the now, in the present moment. To get these powers to work for you have to simply focus on what needs to be done right now. No more comparing or hoping for things to get better. Just deal with what is and what has to be done. When you do this you start moving forward and you allow your subconscious and inner powers to guide you and help you achieve your goals because you are here now working with them to create the situations you want. They help you, they make your life easier and your inner powers and your subconscious create what you desire So live in the present, and get your inner powers and subconscious mind working for you today The Present is All That Exists The past is over and done with. You can't go back and change things. You can't step into the future and see what happens. It hasn't happened. The only thing that is taking place right now is the present moment. As you read this newsletter that's all that you are doing. When you are done the moment that you are currently experiencing will never happen again! The now will never happen again! Your present moment will never happen again! When you live in the present moment your attention is completely focused on what is happening at that very moment. There are no thoughts of the future or the past. If you are at work - focus on work. If you are at home - focus on the home. If you are with friends - focus on your friends. When you do this your inner powers and your subconscious mind are released and free to bring you what you desire. When you are focused on the past or worried about the future the subconscious is lost in confusion. It doesn't know what you want and is forced to go from present to past and present to future without being given the time or ability to create the situations you need to improve your life in the present moment. You never allow your subconscious to function in the present moment which is the only place that it can work. Focus on the present moment. Allow your subconscious mind and inner powers to work for you everyday by working with directing them and by appreciating the present moment. Start working with your powers and your subconscious today The next time you're driving or walking pay attention only to what is happening around you. Listen to the sounds, observe the people. Don't think about what you have to do or what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow or what might happen in five minutes. Focus your attention only on what is happening right now. Doing this will get your mind to start living in the present moment and before you know it you'll be able to focus your mind and utilize the power of now. Start applying the power of now. You'll be more focused and you'll enjoy the present moment. Best of all you'll start moving toward achieving your goals and you begin living the life you want Wishing you tremendous success.... Karim Hajee
Creating Power
PS: Remember if you don't do anything - if you don't direct your
inner powers and your subconscious mind to create the
life you want - everything stays the same - nothing changes. This
is your life - make the most of it - begin directing your inner powers and
your subconscious mind to create the life you want today
@ursixx, thanks for this. I understand about being present, but in the above there is a direct contradiction in terms. He says to be in the present and not worry about the future and then says "Simply direct your power to bring you the kind of job you want. Then do what you can to improve your current situation." Improving your current situation implies not being happy with it, which is exactly what he earlier says not to do. And directing your power to BRING you the job you want...
(13 Feb '15, 04:54)
Antheia
@ursixx ... which you don't currently have, is working to make your future better than your now, which is still moving away from just accepting that the now is all there is. I get what they are trying to say, but the truth is that, when you are in a terrible situation, you will try to get yourself to a better situation. That is part of being human.
(13 Feb '15, 04:56)
Antheia
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@Antheia improving your current situation I would think along the lines of that there is always room for improvement. Each moment is like a diamond, are you going to focus on the imperfections of the diamond, or focus on the beauty of the light passing through it? It is your choice. Do you know how much power you are giving these situations by calling and identifying them as terrible? Just that act of putting the label "terrible" on something gives it so much. ...
(14 Feb '15, 02:36)
ursixx
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....your applying your power to terrible... same with the statement you made to @Innerbeauty "nothing will change no matter what I do." and it won't as long as that is what you give power to. Abraham-Hicks says look for the better feeling. You know when you feel this way you don't like the feeling right? There are things that work,things that make you feel good in your life , simple things . A diamond has many facets focus on the facets that are "better feeling"
(14 Feb '15, 03:17)
ursixx
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..Look for that better feeling,give power to that. http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en This video has so many gems in it worth watching a few times. Take back your power @Antheia you can! Don't give it to terrible and "no matter what I do "
(14 Feb '15, 03:24)
ursixx
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While this question has been on I.Q. for quite some time now, I couldn't resist giving an answer from my own personal experience, as I've undergone this ''trying'' to shift a negative belief quite some time ago, and maybe this will help those that are still struggling with negative beliefs/momentum. When a negative belief is not shifting, it just means that it still has some momentum behind it, and much patience is required as ''trying'' to shift the negative belief will only create more resistance around it. In the case of a stubborn negative belief there may be many layers to dissolve, and this means to cease trying to ''fix'' the issue and allow the negative beliefs to surface without judgment [resistance] so they can dissipate on their own. The methods and techniques can help, but only temporarily because when using these methods you are focused on ''fixing'' a ''problem'' and even worse being ''aware'' of the issue, you are not allowing or owning the negative beliefs, you are avoiding them which is the same as resisting them. A lot of times we put in too much effort to ''get rid'' of a negative belief when we could just ''allow'' it to dissolve on it's own by being in a state of relaxed awareness every time it surfaces. I believe in some cases there's the issue of patience when it comes to releasing/dissolving negative beliefs, we tend to want to ''get them out of the way'' so we can manifest our desired reality faster without realizing that it actually delays the wanted reality. Practicing letting go and allowing is crucial when it comes to negative beliefs, there are no shortcuts, the time it takes depends on the individual and as mentioned above there may be many layers to peel away with the negative beliefs, along with the momentum behind them. When allowing them [negative beliefs] to dissolve while being in a state of relaxed awareness [non judgment] they will begin to lose their hold and eventually fall away, allowing the shift to occur more naturally as it's supposed to, then the full focus can be on the wanted reality [intention] instead of ''trying'' to shift a negative belief. |
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