Congratulations on following your heart, even though it brings you into what might seem like a dangerous place.

There is one thing, and one thing only, that can stand between yourself and your desires: fear. Abe calls it "focusing on what you are not wanting". One way that fear manifests is in wanting things because you cannot have them. So I suggest to start out your path by taking an intense, detailed look at yourself and intending very strongly to get on honest answer to the question: Do I love this man because I believe I cannot have him? Would I still love him if I knew I could have him? Have I turned down men in the past who were perfect for me because I knew I could have them?

I am asking this not to judge you, I am asking because this beis a common theme for people who have an issue with self-worth: You pass by all kinds of opportunities that would be really really nice and then go for one that is almost nice, but has the problem that you can't really have it. The solution is, in this case, normally not to try to push the half-available opportunity to become fully available, but to replace that half-available opportunity with one that really works. A process of improving your self-esteem will usually do this. In other words, the simplest solution to your dilemma is to ditch him and find a man who is available right now.

Mind you, I don't know that this applies to you or have a particular sensation about it, I am just asking whether this might be the case, so you don't waste your time on a complicated situation if you are not sure that it is right for you to do so.

So what you do is clear negative beliefs. Bring up the feeling of what it feels like that you cannot have this man you love fully right now, in detail. Feel every bit of the conflicting energy in your body and in your emotional self. Feel the tension, the conflict, perhaps even negative emotions like rage or anger. Feel it all. And when you sense you have got a feeling of what you are feeling, like you have sampled every aspect of it, ask yourself: What would I have to believe in order to feel this?

You will probably receive some kind of vague answer, but be insistent and keep asking until you receive a clear, short, understandable, simple statement that represents the belief below this large swatch of negative emotion.

Most likely, once you insisted on receiving this clear statement, you will recognize the belief to be nonsense and it will dissipate. And that's that- the belief is gone.

Keep this practice of uncovering beliefs below negative emotion up and do it daily, or twice daily. If you don't find any negative emotion, keep digging. Don't worry, you won't create any new negativity this way, you are uncovering unrecognized negativity and freeing your thinking this way. It's the part of Abe's process from the introductory course: When a negative emotion sticks, you focus on it and ask: Where does this come from? Asking for the specific belief is a technique from Bashar's method and it's a bit more structured and for me it does the same thing faster.

When you have done this for quite some time and you have noticed a marked improvement in your well-being, you can ask yourself again: Is this man right for me? Most likely, one of three things will happen: You might discover the man is right for you right now, but you don't need the relationship to change for you to feel better, and you may make changes in the future but are fine as things are. Two, you might discover that this relationship is not for you after all, and you will find something else, or even be happily single for a while. Three, he might change how he feels about you and leave is partner to be with you.

Regardless of how things turn out, you don't work on your lover, you work on yourself, because that changes how you feel regardless of him. He will then be nudged by your energy differently, and most likely his behavior will be very different to you, but the main point is that you were bringing up his behavior all along.

In order to diffuse your dilemma in the quickest way possible, I would recommend the following:

First, you use the method above to clear as much negativity as you can, to improve your general wellbeing. Then, you fully accept your physical situation as it is, in order to decrease your resistance to change. At the same time, you start dreaming a lot- this is the same as Abraham's creative workshop. You can be with your man as much as you like in conditions as they are right now, it won't hurt your new dream. But it does help to know that your present situation is your old dream, and your new dream is the one you are imagining. Imagine things a lot- imagine your man as you would like him, but do not attempt to manipulate or push around your old dream in any way at all- you are not trying to replace or nudge anything, you are simply letting an old dream run its course while you are funnelling more and more of your energy into a new dream of your choice.

The grandest conclusion you can reach is that your new dream is just as real as your old dream, even if it is not fully manifest yet. Just work with your new dream, and let your physical dream be whatever it is. Most likely, you will either run into someone more fitting to your new dream over time, or your present love will morph into something more akin to your new dream. Enjoy that too, and enjoy your present situation, but more than anything, all through your day, maybe every hour or so, bring up your new dream and imagine it and enjoy that and let it satisfy you just as much as a physical experience would. Once you can do that, you are a deliberate creator, and that is most likely why you attracted your paricular set of dilemma-producing beliefs in the first place: To learn and experience how liberating it is to take your imagination seriously.

All the best to you, and I hope this was helpful to you. Good loving!