I am a highly sensitive person with a highly analytical mind and these two combined together, can be lethal to the survival of a relationship. This is because the mind drives me to obsession, to the point where I cannot help myself come out of it.

I'd like to give an example: I see traits in my partner that he has an interest in the female sex. You might tell me 'Thank God, he's normal', as have my friends done. So, from this premise, my mind searches for proof that this is so, and lo and behold, I find proof, e.g. my partner follows women who like cigars on instagram, he follows singers who happen to be women, he follows old historical photos that happen to be all about women. He's had posts on his facebook in the past (years before he met me) containing comical memes like 'all men see in this world are tits and butts', etc. On the basis of these I have concluded that he has a fascination for the female sex and now I have become obsessed to the point where we fight everyday about it. Additionally, he calls me a psycho and that I need help because one moment we are happy and loving and the next I am in this accusing mood. I do change mood easily because something happens which reminds me of his trait.

My question is (i) am I really so abnormal to feel so insecure about this behaviour? (2) is his behaviour condemnable or not? (3) where is the point of objectivity to be drawn, i.e. on the one hand he is his own person and with his own preferences and this should not be interfered with, and on the other hand there is me who is feeling almost 'betrayed' by this behaviour. I accuse and argue because deep down I wish he was not like this.

It is so hard to get out of my mind because I interpret everything around me from this perspective, when in the presence of my partner.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Am I really mentally ill? How can I get out of this obsession (whether what I feel is true or not) so that I can be mentally peaceful?