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She was everything that my ex wasn't which is why I was falling for her. But the more I got to know her, I started to realize how much of her she was alike. The last visit was our last attempt at trying to see if we would work and we didn't. We just didn't fit, even though when we first started talking, it was like we found exactly what we wanted from each other. That didn't last because she started focusing on the things I wasn't doing or didn't like. She is a chef and I am picky with my food. Instead of being intrigued or excited to show me into her world, it was "I need someone who is going to eat caviar with me." She doesn't understand how or where I grew up. We ate to survive, not for taste. We would eat canned Spaghettios for 3 days until my mom's food stamps come in. She made me feel stupid for things I didn't know or understand. Said my thinking is so black & white. So I ended it. But for the life of my I don't understand why I am missing someone who made me feel that way. I keep telling myself it's the emotional attachment because we have been talking everyday for 5 months. I am trying to remind myself that it's okay we didn't work, but I still feel as though I am losing..
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Spaghettios - Oh yuk! I recall reading about a teacher in the states that filled a grocery sack with food for each of her students when the pandemic first started. She was listing what she put in each bag. She said she put a can of Chef Boyardee Spaghetti O's in every bag. Then she said sheepishly "Why not? Everyone loves them!" Yuk! I'm thinking not me! Even though I consider Spaghetti O's junk food of no nutritional value, I understand it is also considered comfort food by many. (I have a weird comfort food from childhood that other ppl may consider yucky also so don't let my comment bother you.) Then I thought about when I was growing up. A sibling would see a commercial for a new food item advertised on tv and would have to have it. He wanted to be like all the other kids. He would always go with my mom to the market. I recall him pestering my mom until she bought him Spaghetti O's. I'm thinking GROSS. I'm not eating that!!! I don't know how much Spaghetti O's cost but you said money was tight and you lived on foodstamps. I'm wondering if you were anything like my sibling. Did you ask your mom to buy Spaghetti O's? If so, I imagine she did so to make you happy. ETA "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are" ~ see quote investigator. How do you define attachment @cancer1206? ...and yes I know Campbells made the original Spaghetti O's ..
(02 Jan '23, 20:40)
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As for your two ex's - my guess, they got weary of being manipulated by your victim persona.
... and then they clattered away.
What would you say if I said I was channeling your mom - would you believe me ?
hi @cancer thoughts and emotions always go hand in hand, by carefully and consciously choosing those thoughts that create "good" emotions and repeating the process over and over you can achieve relief from being emotionally attached ... :)