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It seems that many parents today are highly introverted self-serving individualists that would love nothing better than to curl up on the couch and get lost in their favorite shows. Leaving their children alone with no one to interact with. My sister works as a waitress 8 hours a day 6 days a week. After work she goes to workout at the fitness center for one hour then goes to a jazersize class for an hour then comes home and takes her lazy daughter's three boys 3 4 and 7 for the night; and she's over 40. Her daughter is 24 years younger and she is so introverted and individualistic that she has to leave them at my sister's place to get some peace. My sister is 80% extroverted and 90% collectivist. That means she's mega family unit oriented; and always thinks of what the kids want first. Even if it means missing a nice get-a-way that may not come again for some time. Are there any parents out there that actually want to be parents more than they want everything to be all about me me me all the time. I am a biogenic extroverted task-o-tear. That means I love to work only when I can volunteer for only love and praise. If I have to get paid for it then that means there will be only hard commitments and expectations seen mostly through hypocrisy and that is strictly forbidden to me. So I'll never be a parent. I am 70% extroverted and 30% introverted. I am 76% individualist and 24% collectivist. I was born with Avoid-ant personality disorder. And The reason I am is my mother couldn't stand me all the time either. |
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A very interesting question, however there are parents who does spend a lot of quality time with their children to ensure that their children receives the nature and nurture they require in their early years, so that their children can grow and learn autonomously! And yes of course, there are some parents that are too busy working to support their children basic needs, and to keep the family together. But on the contrary, there are some parents who want someone else to take on their responsibility and to parent their children, to free them up, so that they can take care of their own personal needs, and to enjoy their lifestyle! So, it is very different for different parents, and it is based upon their family values, and beliefs. And sometimes some of these parents are unaware of the damage they are doing to their children, when they leave them unattended, and unsupported. It is a misfortune when some of these parents refuse to parent their children in the right, and proper way, and this does in fact cause the child to feel neglected and confused! Well, I guess you have learned a valuable lesson from your own unfortunate experience, but I trust you are able to move pass it to do better for yourself, and those that are close to you! |
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We're all growing and learning according to our own timeline. It seems to me that your niece is overwhelmed by her responsibilities as a parent. Her children are not only close in age which makes it tough as is, but she started having them at such a young age when she was no more than a kid herself. Your sister's support is very much needed and understandable considering that she had her own daughter at a very young age. I love the way your big heart believes in volunteering for love instead of working for money. My dear, your family is what needs you now. It is time to shine your love for your overworked sister, her depressed daughter and the three little angels. What a blessing to be there where one is truly needed. Your heart will let you know what to do. thank you, namaste thats beatiful Daniele, I wish more people thought like you
(11 Mar '11, 08:38)
evelyn
thank you evelyn
(11 Mar '11, 08:50)
daniele
You're welcome Daniele
(13 Mar '11, 08:29)
evelyn
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I am one of those " EXTROVERTED COLLECTIVIST" parents. I have spent the last 23.5 years looking after my children. I got a degree and had my own business but when I became pregnant for the first time made the decision to be a full time mum. My children have been my life, I do have lots of hobbies and I love my life but there are drawbacks. My adult son is 23 and is one of the boomerang generation, he has graduated with a law degree and is waiting to continue his studies in September.I am back to where i was four years ago. Taxi, cook, organiser.I have two other children and if the same thing happens with them I will continue to be full time mum for another 7 years. |
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