Where do I start..

That's the only important question for you right now. The only place you can start is observing the action of your own mind. To become clear of your true desires and goals it's necessary to start with the awareness of your mind. If you're not aware, your physical mind will be running rampant and going in many directions in a state of confusion. Without focus and attention your desires will remain unfulfilled.

When you've become aware that you've been unaware, in that moment, it's important to practice forgiveness of yourself, rather than being angry for your unawareness. Awareness and self love are keys to living a truly great life and then manifestations become easier. Any kind of anger at yourself or others is not self love.

It's great that you're attracted to Bashar, although it seems as though you're not quite ready for that kind of information just yet. I suggest starting by reading 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. To your finding peace in your now moment :)

hello my good freind, as we have spoke of before, meditation and then not focusing on the "how". once you do thes both i believ you have a good enough understanding to help you . As you know i am also here for you. collect yopur thoughts and get your questions around. i believe that TReb Bor yit-NE can help you get to the bottom of this ! we will talk soon! also i think you are answering your own questions as you go. perhaps you have the fear of sucsess or are being lazy, those are your words and not mine, lol :-) i hope you will realy foucus on the medditation and you will be much better! love and light, rob

Forgive me for pointing this out, but how your question reads is perhaps similar to the way your mind feels - a little scrambled. Have you had any success with meditating? If that does not appeal to you maybe there is a place in nature you can visit that will help soothe your busy mind. Get organized. Write down what you want from life. Seeing your goals on paper makes them even more real (and writing them down forces you to articulate them clearly for yourself). Try to focus on what you want without lingering on the fact that you do not have it yet. Seek joy in your current situation rather than loosing sleep over what you are so anxious to experience. In short, give yourself a break and stop trying so hard. Sometimes the force of our efforts only serve as resistance to our true intentions. Be at ease and things will naturally feel easier. Mostly try not to think about money at all until you can do so without any negative emotions attached to it. I'm not telling you anything you probably don't already know, but I hope this helps anyway. Peace!

Compassion towards the self seems to me, to always be what is lacking at the heart of the question. You say you have the "tools", or knowledge to obtaining what you want, i.e. manifesting more money for travel, etc. Underlying this, however, is the concept that you are not attaining a sort of compassion and love for yourself right now. You're being harsh on yourself, telling yourself you need to be doing things differently in order to obtain something else. Only once you have X will you find Y. Thinking like that leads to negative and cyclical thought patterns, leading you to yearn for something that doesn't yet exist, and, feel stuck in the meantime. Be kind to yourself. Coming to a place where you can fully be kind and give love to yourself is absolutely one of the hardest journeys, but, so important because only when you can love yourself fully, right here, right now, can you start to understand you don't need more. The phrase, it only happens when it doesn't matter rings true here. When you've become content, knowing you don't need fixing, and are appreciating yourself, that's when the manifestation happen, that's when the world opens its doors to you because you allowed yourself to open the doors within yourself FOR yourself. Ironically, when you stop seeking and instead find love for who and where you are in life, THAT is when things come to you, and then, you will have been so at peace with YOU, it won't even matter; saying you are "repelling" yourself is treating yourself in an unkind fashion. Be nurturing; laugh that you had a beer instead of meditating. There's nothing wrong with you. Be kind to yourself. Read up on some Buddhism, I bet it would help and again, just be soft with yourself.

I think that you are thinking of 2 different schools of thought. One, Living in the Now, The other thinking of the things you desire in the future and attracting that to you. It's been my experience that while the 2 do co-exist, they are not really something that I would try together, especially if peace of mind is your real search. The basic premise of living in the "Now", by it's own nature is not thinking of the "future" or the "past". How can you be trying to "manifest" something for a future time, if your belief is that "Now" is all that exists? I think it is another form of dualism, in a somewhat veiled way. One says they want the now, but yet they are still trying to do something (manifest) for a future time. Why would they do that if living in the now is working for them? It's another paradox I suppose, but I can tell you from personal experience, usually for me, living in the now, is an easier way to peace. Trying to manifest things, can be a big set up for disappointment. It's an attachment to form. The basic premise of Buddhism, is that "enlightenment" is the absence of suffering. Further in Buddhism, is that "attachment to form" is what precedes suffering. Think about it in your own life, is not all of the suffering in your personal life directly related to the things you think you need? You either don't have them, causing suffering, or you do and you're trying to keep them, thus suffering. Only 2 kinds of fear, that you won't get what you think you need, or you'll lose what you have that you think you need. These are the basic precepts of Buddhism. I'm not a Buddhist, I study anything that I think is relevant, and try, though humanly miss the mark at times, to implement what works into my daily life. I can say that I don't think the idea of manifesting all the things that you want, or any of them are the real answer. The reason: It's too easy for us to get back into egoic mind. That mind-set that says "I must have this... and then I'll be "there". When you start manifesting these things that you think you need, you generally find that in time they are lacking to provide what you think you need. Why waste your time with anything that is only an attachment to start with, and as with all attachments, never lead to fulfillment? I'm still learning this myself, I'm no guru at all, but I do know that it is much easier to accept the now, than to spend my time focusing on the things that my egoic mind thinks it needs. Read some of my other posts on manifesting and prayer and you can watch a process I went through just last week, that has caused me to learn this lesson once again. Now for the final thought, if you think you are going to magically manifest things, like cars, houses, jobs, girlfriends, etc, just by wanting it, no, and the snake-oil salesmen, will tell you can. No, what all of these "instantly have-it" "with no effort people are selling you is a lie. They fail to mention the "Law of Unfoldment", which generally has to do with physically making things happen, after you have "invoked" the "powers of the universe". Straight up egoic mind lie. We are Spiritual Beings, on a physical plane. Each has laws. Unless you are so in tune with who you are at a Spiritual level, like Jesus of Nazareth, which I don't know of anyone who is, allow peace to be in you, you're not gonna walk on water pal, it ain't gonna happen. When you have that peace this "manifesting" thing will look ridiculous. What would happen, and who would you finally "be" when you can get all you want. Will it really change "you"?