|
When the universe or God gives you signs in the past and present to keep going in the midst of extreme contrast and struggle is there still a time to give up? Should you follow your heart despite your hopelessness or continue I am new to this site but have been following it for a while and i gotta say, im impressed with it and the knowledge you folks on it have. Im a very lucky guy to have found it Now to the question which may seem quite simple in the form displayed "When the universe or God gives you signs in the past and present to keep going in the midst of extreme contrast and struggle is there still a time to give up? Should you follow your heart despite your hopelessness or continue?" To explain further although extreme and overwhelming contrast shows up in your pursuit of something and the universe STILL gives you blatant signs that it will work out with whats in ur heart, should ya stop? Even times when I have given up on this situation im currently going through every time i did give up this (only within my own mind I declared I was DONE) something wonderful would damn near IMMEDIATELY happen and get the situation back in motion and in the direction I wanted and now it's right back to where it began. To make things even more complex than they are it involves someone else whom i love. This may sound great to some to have recieved these answers from the universe but it almost feels like im being toyed with by the universe or God (as strange as that may sound) and I know you get what you think about, even your fears. I am no fledgling by any means on this stuff. But this has been ongoing for a long time. A girl who I love (and I don't mean love in the childish way an emotionally attached teenager would put it but the real thing) has ran out of my life once more out of the big F word...thats right, fear. I know you may read this and think "oh, he has trouble letting go, he's just caught up in the conquest, he's attached to a fantasy, he doesn't know what he truly wants, blablabla" and although I could type myself blue in the face tryin to prove that this is not the case you're going to have your own opinion about my situation regardless. So I am asking YOU; the reader to trust a complete and total stranger and give a guy madly in love the truest answers from your heart, mind and soul guided by source or god on what you would do in this situation (or if you have been in it yourself and it worked out between the two of you) and TRUST that this is not some childish fling or passing fancy. She has severed contact with me for one reason and one reason only, fear. Whether that is fear of the unknown, fear of true happiness, fear of fullfllment, I don't even know anymore except that it's based on old fashioned and false religious concepts based on the fact that I am agnostic and she is under constant pressure from her social group. It is NOT however, based on your typical relationship problems such as cheating, jealousy, etc. Anyways, despite the intense connection that is there ever so clearly between us, and the mutual feelings (it's been stated as a fact already that it is) this has happened. Was it worth it? Yes. However Im left dumbfounded on what to do. Yet I have trouble "letting go" and trusting the universe to mend this situation and help overcome the deep fear that I obviously cannot do myself, though if I could I would. And it's hard for me to believe that itll work by simply "me being positive", even though when god weve been brought back together in what some would say wacky, insane, coincidental and miraculous means and then it ended up happening again. You can say maybe im being pointed in the right direction to someone else or whatever but I almost have to disagree because of what I feel at the very depth of my soul and universally considering the amount of times the minute I gave up and by a miracle things would bring us back together by serendipity. To put things into perspective for you im the unstoppable force theyre the immovable object, or better yet fear is the immovable object. So, what to do? Should I continue although the thought of trying to contact someone who is no longer talking to me upsets me deeply? I dont even wanna get into that position again of begging, pleading, explaining again. Should I let go and trust that it will work out although Ive done that before and it went right back to where it was? And is there any way that maybe by removing the fear from my own life (tho a different type from theirs) that since supposedly people are your mirror that will somehow remove theirs? Or can influence via law of attraction or "mirror concept" even come into play here? Im looking for intelligent, legitimate and thought provoking answers from the people who understand the depth of it an not the average "move on, start dating, distract yourself" stuff. keep in mind like i said these things are mutual so this is not a desperate HOW CAN I MAKE SOMEONE LOVE ME post and no offense to anyone if u ever posted something like that.
showing 0 of 14
show 14 more comments
|
|
Here is how the law of attraction works. Think of shooting an arrow at the target you want. It takes effort to load the arrow and aim. It takes struggle to pull back on the arrow to get it ready to shoot. But for the arrow to hit the target you need to let go and trust. That is when it hits its target! Every time you give up, you let go of that arrow. That is why you only see results when you quit. Don't beg or plead with her to be yours! This puts you way below her. Begging and pleading is not attractive. Think of those you admire is there any that beg and plead that you admire? Usually the ones that beg and plead you feel sorry for. If you want her then you want her to want you, not to feel sorry for you. There are two ways, one is equality. The second is power. Both are attractive. One you say she is no better than I am, we are equal. It doesn't matter if she is some beautiful voluptuous cheesecake, she is human and you are human, she is equal. It doesn't matter if she is wealthy and you are poor, you are equal. Never think she is better than you, if you do then your next thoughts are of why would she like me? Next is power, that goes beyond equal. This puts you in position of her hero. Like you are better than her. That is why you see a lot of women with the wrong guys. In the old television show "Happy Days", The Fonz believed himself better than everyone. He lived that feeling, that was an example of pure power and confidence. He knew he was in control at all times. Everyone wanted to be like him. Women swooned at the sight of him! Be in control, and know you are in control. With the understanding that you are creating your experience, this conquers your fear. You can not be afraid driving worried about where you may end up if you are the one choosing where you want to go. It really comes to what your beliefs are, your beliefs of yourself. "None are above me, I need no one's approval to believe in myself." Apply this and remember it, this is the mind to have to be attractive. Think, everything I do must come from confidence, command, control and authority. I am the creator of my experience, I go fourth boldly! Be that, or at least be equal with her and meet on equal ground. 1
Like Wade said "please don't plead & beg". Not only is it unattractive it's very immature & worse - very disempowering.
(03 Oct '13, 20:13)
ele
1
Now this is what I wanted to hear, although I know advice from the others is equally important if not integral to this process of spiritual growth. Someone mentioned that the signs could be only in my head and not actual signs, but I've come to the conclusion to write that off. As I've said, the issue is that I am agnostic and her parental guardians are christian. She is under scrutiny of them because of that. Needless to say, I believe there is in fact a higher power but I am a skeptic at heart
(04 Oct '13, 18:40)
The Chosen One123
1
so to say I didn't immediately write off the signs from the beginning and ignore them would be false. I would do just that, ignore them despite my elation and more would manifest to the degree that it would be a foolish attempt to continue ignoring or disprove them, as I do with most things. That being said, this process I'm experiencing is more of a "letting go" which is why I would see results in the way that I do?
(04 Oct '13, 18:44)
The Chosen One123
"As I've said, the issue is that I am agnostic and her parental guardians are christian." hmm - assuming again? I believe you also said "My honest guess is that her parents forced this perhaps." the words guess & perhaps do not mean you know this for a fact.. Special One -- consider this possibility for a moment - perhaps she just isn't that into you.. It happens. You also aren't the type of guy who takes NO for an answer & perhaps that is why she broke off communication & didn't feel (con)
(05 Oct '13, 14:23)
ele
(cont) comfortable talking to you. (yes, I am guessing - just a thought) I realize it's much harder when there was no real closure. It's been my experience - when one door closes, new 'windows' open. Keep your ears & eyes open. Good Luck..
(05 Oct '13, 14:29)
ele
@ele what if I told you without a shadow of a doubt that that was not the case? What would your advice be then?
(05 Oct '13, 20:12)
The Chosen One123
Well Romeo, how old is Juliet? When will she be 18? I will EDIT my answer to answer your question.
(06 Oct '13, 01:26)
ele
Same age and not soon enough. Thank you for taking the time to do this for me you have helped me out more than you probably realize. And concerning the "signs" they were so clear to the point I'd be a fool to ignore them. Like a major SLAP IN THE FACE every time I would try and give up or "let go".
(14 Oct '13, 19:00)
The Chosen One123
You're Very Welcome. I knew exactly what I was doing when I made the edit Romeo. I don't see things only one way. You have less than a year to wait. Now that you acknowledge the cosmos; I'll share this. I place faith in signs, I trust my intuition & I always 'listen' to my heart (seat of the soul). Your 'signs' are for you to interpret. It takes awhile to learn how to interpret your feelings & to know where they are coming from & whether to trust them or not. (between what the heart (A)
(15 Oct '13, 00:20)
ele
(B) is saying & why & what your mind is saying to your heart & why) Harmony is best; but it doesn't always happen that way in the beginning. Hope = Trust = Edit Please don't forget to have fun along the way - it's MOST important. ... so, have fun ... and remember Romeo what SR said "even if you don't take physical action, the universe still has a back up plan."
(15 Oct '13, 00:24)
ele
LOL romeo...good one. I guess it will come with experience as time goes on. Once again thank you for all of your help. I'll keep you updated if you'd like
(16 Oct '13, 11:58)
The Chosen One123
Pretty funny her name is julie. Good call
(16 Oct '13, 22:42)
The Chosen One123
lol! No wonder you never said anything before when I called you Romeo being her name is Julie. I'm sure you realize I'm using it in an affectionate way & not being sarcastic. Please do keep us posted. Too bad IQ does not allow anyone to change their user name. Romeo fits you well. Please remember this always "How you feel is far, far more important than anything you could physically do" to quote Stingray. Remember to have fun.
(16 Oct '13, 22:51)
ele
@chosen one 123 if you ignore things usely it pile up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6SE4jUDl7o
(17 Oct '13, 00:13)
white tiger
Thank you for picking my answer as best.... I also want to thank Ursixx for the edit, I am not sure what was changed but I am sure it made my answer even better. :-)
(19 Nov '13, 01:15)
Wade Casaldi
showing 2 of 15
show 13 more comments
|
|
There really is something extraordinary about falling in love for the first time. Not very many people live happily ever after with their first love. She stopped all contact & communication was cut off 6 months ago. She left you wondering why - so many questions left unanswered.
"When the universe or God gives you signs to keep going in the midst of extreme contrast and struggle, is there still a time to give up?"
The past is over and you are the only one who continues to keep it alive. Aren't you tired of being in pain & giving all your power away? Love is NOT painful and love is NEVER need based. (Pain, Need, Powerlessness are all FEAR based emotions - the big 'F'- FEAR)
Yes, Chosen One - it's time to let go and move on. She walked away 6 months ago. 6 months is a very long time in a life so young. You've spent the last 6 months suffering in a self imposed prison. 'Life' isn't about the past or the future, it's all about living in the present. "Listen very carefully to this quote by Kahlil Gibran."
Or in other words 'If You Love Her, Set Her Free & Once You Set Her 'Free', You Too Will Know 'Freedom'. Free - Freedom .. a state of "being' - the state of not being subject to the control or power of another or affected by (a particular undesirable thing). .. the power of self-determination attributed to the will; the quality of being independent of fate or necessity. .. not or no longer confined or imprisoned. Freedom to create. Take your power back & stop living in Fear.... Edited to answer question
My advice remains the same; it's the Kahlil Gibran quote I posted above. You said you've been following IQ for awhile. I assume you know who Stingray is. I'm fairly certain I recall both @Stingray & @ursixx posting the same inspiring quote; tho I'm not sure if SR posted a source & sorry, I can't provide a link. Two of the best minds on IQ have posted this quote as an answer to questions similar to yours. BUT - Here's a link to an answer given by Stingray in regards to remembering he had actually met his wife previously. This is very relevant & will give you something to focus on. Please read his answer and the comments after. If the Universe wants you to be with Juliette - well to quote Stingray
http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/7018/loa-thought-vs-physical-action-are-both-needed/55359 In the meantime dear Romeo, while you're waiting on the Universe, I suggest you get that trans am running. Girls, like men with hot cars & I'm sure Juliette will appreciate a man with wheels. ETAAlways remember this Dear Romeo
Remember to have fun; it's most important. Love, Ele @ele- You offer words with great compassion and intent, it's really thoughtful of you. To my sadness, my words, your words, all words of wisdom seldom fall on ears that will absorb it and take action to move forward with the advise. I've noticed people who are specifically lovesick find it tricky to really get into a genuinely healthy perspective of things, especially first loves.
(04 Oct '13, 09:23)
Nikulas
1
Thank you @Nikulas I realize I spent more time than necessary writing this answer. Originally, I was only going to post the Kahlil Gibran quote. I recall my first love, heartbreak & lots of irrational/emotional thinking. I thank my lucky stars I didn't marry him each time I think about him. Don't get me wrong - I'm also smiling when I think about him. I agree, our words fell on 'deaf' ears & I said exactly what he didn't want to hear. (cont)
(04 Oct '13, 15:30)
ele
(cont) He had rapport with @Snow because he sympathized & gave him hope. Our answers didn't offer much hope. Age doesn't shield us from heartbreak. I'm sure our answers (wisdom) will help others when they search for answers to a similar question.
(04 Oct '13, 15:32)
ele
You're advice is not falling on deaf ears so to speak. I am open to it, I just see other alternatives. As I've stated previously, I believe people are too quick to give up on things particularly surrounding this subject. I clearly stated that they weren't your typical relationship issues and because I am only 17 I can see where your skepticism may lie in offerening me advice. If it were causing me an intense amount of heartbreak I would completely turn away for I value myself more than that.
(04 Oct '13, 18:35)
The Chosen One123
Correction; offering me advice to carry on assuming it's summer love or something to that degree, which in most cases it is and I am able to differentiate between the two. There are other factors at play although I may be jumping to conclusions I was explaining to @snow the predicament at hand. Thanks guys, and thank you for sharing your story. I am glad to hear you found someone else, that's fantastic. When I said the universe is giving me signs, I meant that. I've considered the possibility
(04 Oct '13, 18:38)
The Chosen One123
@ele thank you for your insight. I found it very helpful
(04 Oct '13, 19:02)
The Chosen One123
I read your question & your comments carefully. I did not misunderstand or am I skeptical. (I know many guys who spent yrs getting over a 1st love) As for 'deaf' ears - meaning you are choosing not to hear because you want what you desire because you are not in a place of 'surrender'. "I believe people are too quick to give up on things particularly surrounding this subject." (see my comments about time under your answer) Chosen One - meaning Special One? hmmm .... and you're welcome..
(05 Oct '13, 14:17)
ele
2
Fantastic answer, the quote from Kahlil is inspired. I don't think ive heard that quote before, I wont forget it now.
(05 Oct '13, 14:22)
Monty Riviera
Thanks @Monty - I think this is first time you've ever spoke to me. Perhaps now you'll answer a question I have. Have to find the question again.
(05 Oct '13, 14:32)
ele
1
I will try ele, I usually come up with something....of course whether it makes sense or not is another matter:)
(05 Oct '13, 17:26)
Monty Riviera
Yes it is a good one.
(05 Oct '13, 20:13)
The Chosen One123
The quote, I meant.
(05 Oct '13, 20:14)
The Chosen One123
I'm just givin' you a hard time @Monty being I agree with No Brainer - you being an elite member & all. Often times new members who do not ask questions or introduce themselves as Grace & Romel did go unnoticed & they drift away. Actually it is an answer you gave to another question a few months ago which I would like you to expand on. Thanks..
(06 Oct '13, 02:43)
ele
Ok ele, sorry if I gave the impression that I wasn't noticing people. I hope no one drifts away from here. Its easy to stay after all. Ive left for a bit and come back...that's cool. As for being an elite member....ive just been here a bit longer than some! and frankly when I look back at some of my old answers...I think...what knob wrote that ####! Some of your stuff makes far more sense ele.
(06 Oct '13, 05:27)
Monty Riviera
@Monty Sorry, that wasn't my point at all. I was talking more about myself - be a bit more appreciative. I come & go too & you're right, the door is always open. Just the opposite for me - I just saw a couple answers I wrote the first time around & they are much better than anything I write now - especially the short & to the point ones. I know I commented on your answers a dozen times & I admit, I was beginning to wonder. I hope you didn't take offense when I made that joke about large (A)
(06 Oct '13, 05:47)
ele
(B) breasts -- I want you to know I was kidding & what I said had no merit & as soon as I said I thought about you. Just playin' around.
(06 Oct '13, 05:48)
ele
1
Thats ok ele, and I like jokes like that! In fact I find it hard to take anything too seriously...especially me! After all, im the guy who now goes by the name of someone in an novel, based on my own rather strange imagination...that's not even published or finished yet :) I think were gonna be chums ele. And some of the shorter of the cuff answers ARE often best.
(06 Oct '13, 06:57)
Monty Riviera
lol another stalker - that wasn't one of the ones I was referring too -- but I can see why it would resonate with you... follow your heart @Monty
(06 Oct '13, 08:09)
ele
@ele a and b breast measure are usely not large. unless you have a very small frame. smile.
(17 Oct '13, 00:06)
white tiger
@white tiger are you asking my cup size? None of your business sweetie; but I will say the answer is neither A or B. lol
(17 Oct '13, 01:14)
ele
showing 2 of 22
show 20 more comments
|
|
If there's anyway I can be of best service of knowledge to you it would be through sharing a story. You have asked all sorts of questions in your post but I feel this might essentially provide some insight. I have 'fell in love' with a few girls now. What was reflected to me during these times I perceived as 'being in love' were nothing more than feelings and beliefs related to desperation, a lack of approval of myself, lack of self esteem, lack of enjoyment in life, lack of happy accepting myself...it's fair to say there in the generalised expression that there was a lack of healthy love for myself. On an side note, do you think it was ironic that during all these times I was in love with certain girls I was actually very depressed about my life in general? I learned everything I needed to learn from these girls, and it was fun. What do I mean? In one relationship, I learned I needed to have more fun with life and lighten up more. In another, I learned to be totally honest and comfortable being myself, and so on... Now here's the point that I feel can help you out: Another relationship formed, and I fell madly in love with this girl. The difference was, this time, this was real love. Yes, I had the sexual chemistry and romantic love for her, but it was not solely that. I loved her enough, and I loved myself enough to literally let each other be each other. We were lovers at first, then she wanted to end the relationship because she feared getting emotionally hurt. Judging by the physical circumstances, she had led me on big time when she unfortunantly told me she wanted out. Her actions wouldn't have said otherwise that we were interestingly one of the greatest, deepest partnerships available in western astrology if you score it based on our astrology (cancer and pieces). However, with all the honesty involved in the relationship, things never got sour and games weren't played. She backed off big time when I told her after a few months, "I love you", and I don't ever regret saying that to her because it's merely, respectfully expressing how I feel. I didn't try and make her love me, I didn't want her to, I wanted her to be herself and if that meant she didn't want to commit to Nikulas then cool. I natually got a little disappointed when it came to an end, yet I got over it almost insatantly. I found out through friends afterwards of her background and her fear of commiting to a relationship again, due to her past exeperiences and childhood memories. My physical mind could guess it was the greatest match ever created, but my Higher Mind knew this was the most efficient path of learning...I left the relationship with new insights about life and learned ways to improve myself very quickly. After a very short time the universe delivered me a new girl, roughly 100 times better and hotter :) Would you think she likes me for me? So in all this deliberate reminising, if there's anything I can offer it's this: Make it your choice to let things be so. If you do this properly you won't feel a need to generate expectations, because you'll trust that whatever's happening is for the best. If it doesn't work out with her, then it's not your loss, or her loss, both both your gain!! Literally, seriously, I would suggest taking things as WIN/WIN even if you cannot percieve it to be so. 1
Good advice Nikulas & you too @Snow -- make yourself more appealing aka attractive
(03 Oct '13, 20:27)
ele
Thank you for your story. Very insightful very helpful guys
(05 Oct '13, 20:16)
The Chosen One123
showing 2 of 3
show 1 more comments
|
|
Do not say NO to anything in life, for what you consistently resist will surely persist, instead just focus on saying YES to everything you Love and look away from what doesn't feel good, give it no mind. For the negative is only there to serve as a reminder that the solution to everything is LOVE! Love like you never loved before filling yourself with it and by doing this, negative things cannot exist in reality. I imagine every day a world filled with peace and Love and because the law of attraction must comply that is my reality and can be possible for everyone. We are made of Love anything that feels bad is simply the lack of love. Love is the Ultimate Power and nothing bad can exist in life if you have Love in your heart. Isn't it true that when you feel Love it is impossible to feel bad, it is simply a choice. I needed to say this for me to move on in this light of Love that I am feeling. Today this is my answer to everything and it is working like nothing ever did or will. I love you all! Peace and Love always, Dee Thank you, wise words my friend. That is an absolutely wonderful mindset to adopt and I feel many people are living the opposite. I will take into consideration what you have said and give my heart over to this Ultimate Power you speak of; that positive mindset.
(04 Oct '13, 18:46)
The Chosen One123
1
Love this answer - love is all there is and feeling love & being love will attract love faster than anything else. A sing along... Enjoy!
(06 Oct '13, 01:59)
ele
1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqKOQOn8_Ic
(06 Oct '13, 03:06)
ursixx
superbb ursixx..loved d lines ;)
(07 Oct '13, 04:34)
supergirl
Thank you I agree with everything you guys have said.
(14 Oct '13, 19:01)
The Chosen One123
showing 0 of 5
show 5 more comments
|
|
Was just going to comment this but it ended up too long very fast.. First, I like your question in general. Has a different feel than most questions of this nature, however, this means it's considerably more difficult to be able to offer any advice beyond the normal "distract yourself". Keep in mind however even if your intention is remaining invested in the relationship channeling the energy you're clearly feeling right now into something productive for your own improvement is still excellent advice you should always capitalize on every opportunity life gives you. Turbulent times have considerably higher chances of producing unique events of growth and/or awareness, whether they're resolved in a manner you desire or not. On the actual topic, as we agree your situation clearly has a depth to it. Can you expand on the circumstances, any events preceding or leading up to your current predicament? Excuse me for the side question you're welcome to ignore, just randomly stood out to me probably incorrectly. Is there a reason you avoided any gender specific terminology? It's better if you just say whatever comes to your mind naturally when prompted with being asked for more detail. However, if you can't think of anything else relevant to expand and help give clarity to the deeper portions, here are some possible considerations. What was your most recent conflict / was there a conflict or just a gradual 'falling out of touch'? You express there are strong connections and bonds, which can refer to a variety of levels people can relate to one another. What are the strongest points over which you have a connection? Just what comes to mind easily & naturally, try to minimize how much you 'correct' your initial thoughts or how much you seek out information you feel will be most relevant to share. More often your first thoughts on the subject are just as relevant if not more-so than the opinions you consider most relevant. What is the weakest connection, or the one which may be strong but is the most common source of conflict? "No, and religiously we have a difference in belief considering that I am agnostic and the people she frequents aren't open to my lifestyle surrounding that fact. Nor do her guardians care for it. So it's a constant social struggle in her life." Puts extra stress on you requiring you to monitor your behavior and how you present yourself around them. Even if you act the exact same as someone else they don't have a stigma against you'll be judged more harshly for bias's sake. Not insurmountable assuming you're patient and she is willing to work with you through it, because as uncomfortable as it is for you it is likely and possible to be for her, it is her family after all. "Oh and we are both under aged as well so that is actually a factor. Just thought that might help you give me advice." This is absolutely a factor. Good and bad. You preemptively suggested you wanted answers that 'understand the depth of it an not the average "move on, start dating, distract yourself" stuff.' Problem is, in your situation it seems (barring the middle option if you should so choose) to be the most appropriate advice, but not in the way you expected I don't think. For starters, regain contact. There's no reason to wait. Keep it light, simple, even though you clearly care about the relationship separate yourself as much as possible from being emotionally invested in the contact or making it happen. Just make yourself available, make it known you want to stay connected irrelevant of anything else, try to leave returning contact up to her as much as possible while still making your presence clear, but avoid pressing too much (in both initiating contact and conversation content themselves). This next bit is the part you didn't want. You don't have to "move on" or date anyone else, but you absolutely should focus on yourself. Learn a new skill, start a project, etc. This is critical for lots of reasons I don't want to elaborate on at the moment. I'd suggest staying this course until normal casual contact is reestablished and you begin to get a feel for one another again. I didn't realize I wasn't gender specific. No, and religiously we have a difference in belief considering that I am agnostic and the people she frequents aren't open to my lifestyle surrounding that fact. Nor do her guardians care for it. So it's a constant social struggle in her life. Although, I would never press my beliefs (or rather my lack of beliefs) on anyone and do not wish anyone to do the same to me. And concerning the lack of contact, which if my memory serves it has been 6 months, I
(03 Oct '13, 00:49)
The Chosen One123
It was very sudden and unexpected. There really isn't much else to tell.
(03 Oct '13, 00:50)
The Chosen One123
I will edit that.
(03 Oct '13, 00:51)
The Chosen One123
Oh and we are both under aged as well so that is actually a factor. Just thought that might help you give me advice.
(03 Oct '13, 01:02)
The Chosen One123
My honest guess is that her parents forced this perhaps. And we go to different high schools so the chances of seeing her are squandered though we still live in the same city, they are 1 out of 1,000 to put it into further perspective. We dated for an entire year. Thank you for the inquiry, I realize I should express further details if I want detailed advice.
(03 Oct '13, 01:26)
The Chosen One123
I mean I've started a project to get my uncle's trans am running, but I certainly wouldn't call it a valid distraction, I do however see your point in improving on skills and such. Though I'd hate to admit it, I find myself frightened at the prospect of further rejection hence why I chose to "let it go". The issue at hand remains that through a mutual friend I have discovered she is moving 2 to 3 more hours away. So even IF we did rekindle things so to speak, I have no vehicle to get to her
(03 Oct '13, 02:07)
The Chosen One123
and the chances in doing so are seeming quite bleak. If it's not that, it's one of her best friends, relatives or parents barking orders at her. I wouldn't even hesitate to assume that I would be a factor in them moving, considering when we were in a relationship her parents were under constant fear of me changing her beliefs, though I have never brought up the topic to her and we stray from the discussion due to our difference in opinion. In a sense, I am screwed.
(03 Oct '13, 02:10)
The Chosen One123
I realize there are likely other factors at play here. This is part of the reason you have to play passively and maintain contact while being sure to not overplay your position. It's going to take time, your best bet is just to keep up contact while trying to encourage her to reach back out to you as often as possible. If your connection is there you should maintain your presence without pushing into the hand played by whoever drew her to move away from you in the first place.
(03 Oct '13, 02:29)
Snow
It's one thing for them to discourage her from seeing you and it can be presented in a way that isn't TOO offensive. It is considerably harder to discourage her from talking to a friend and someone she has been close to for a long time, especially when they're just being a caring friend to her and not giving them a reason to start mouthing off about you. If they end up overstepping their bounds it could turn out beneficial for you, pushing her away from them back towards you.
(03 Oct '13, 02:31)
Snow
I know it's a pain but at this point it seems any more direct or aggressive approach could easily have negative results without too much hope for benefit. Patience is hard, but it seems your only option is just to keep in contact unless or until another opportunity presents itself. This is part of why it's good to distract yourself. Not only can it make you more appealing to the individual, it helps you stay detached so you can better handle your interactions.
(03 Oct '13, 02:35)
Snow
"My honest guess" You aren't a mind reader @The Chosen One123 - stop assuming. I'm surprised @Snow didn't turn you onto to one of his fav books "The Four Agreements" NO 3 Don't Make Assumptions.. It's a great book - I highly recommend it..
(03 Oct '13, 20:39)
ele
Don't make assumption!? You're asking the impossible ^.^
(04 Oct '13, 19:00)
The Chosen One123
showing 2 of 12
show 10 more comments
|
|
What CalonLan said is the Wonderful answer! And that is the ONLY answer!!! Because change is the only constant--hence the only valid-wise response: Say Good-by to the past Enjoy the present Welcome the future I do this, because I know that there is no logic in this world, it is a literal hell: 1) Many suffer from obesity while others suffer from poverty 2) When rulers amass WMD enough to destroy the earth several times, many people do not have a house (if all the money spent on arms is spent on construction of houses, we may even provide palaces for everyone!) 3) Man has only a momentary pleasure whereas woman has to carry the child for 9 months, go through labor-pain, and rear the child thereafter taking years.... Yet woman is given a secondary position. This is the reason why I like Bible which highlights the logiclessness. Jesus did so many good things to people, which if written "the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." (John 21:25) Yet people preferred Barabas, a bandit, who only did harm to the society. Even Lazarus, Jesus's friend, whom he resurrected as a specatcular finale of his miracles, did not turn in to speak in support of Jesus before nor after his death whereas apostle Paul, who never received any favor from Jesus, acted very mightily for him! Hence don't ask why and how .... Just enjoy your present situation. Difficulties are meant to sharpen (not shatter) you! Because its everyone's life. Once an action is chosen, result is fixed. Everyone will reap consequences for HIS/HER action. You concentrate on your life. If one chooses something that makes others unhappy, it is the reflection of what lies in his/her heart. They are not happy within, hence can give others only what they have--unhappiness. It is their choice, and their loss! You choose to be happy, and make others happy--and see the difference it brings to your life! 3
I agree @Cal gives wonderful answers. Change is the only constant. Imagination is ever changing; while knowledge is static. Logic is very illogical.
(04 Oct '13, 03:29)
ele
Very, very well put. I just don't grasp why people assume because something isn't working out many people particularly see it at an end, regardless of circumstance. I believe in tearing down the old and rebuilding the new or rising as a better person, but it seems odd to assume when rebuilding the new the "old" is completely forfeit and will always be. Things change, people do and so on, but perhaps maybe we as a whole have been missing the idea that although we are not defined by our past, it
(04 Oct '13, 18:50)
The Chosen One123
is still a part of us. That maybe when you have hope and wish to become a better person and adopting a more optimistic mindset in the midst of struggle that you are also, in fact, rebuilding your past, present and future. I like that, "difficulties are not meant to shatter you, but sharpen you".
(04 Oct '13, 18:53)
The Chosen One123
showing 2 of 4
show 2 more comments
|
|
Chosen One, I have been exactly where you are. With the most bizarre slap-you-in-the face signs / vibrational matches. One example, I asked the Universe for a sign about this person and in that split second my phone rang and a caller asked to speak to 'insert the name of this person'. (He has a very unusual name so to get a wrong number like that was uncanny.) I can see now that this, my feelings for him, are part of my journey to wholeness. As you keep walking along this path, the yearning and need for this person will subside. The love remains intact but the desperate desire to be with that person, now, now, now passes. This is probably not what you want to hear because you will probably not want your feelings to subside because that 'in love' feeling is so deep for you. But, in my experience, the outward love that I was reaching for from and with this person has come about but that love, that hole has been filled inwardly from within, from myself, from Source. I still love him and if he manifests in my life it will be wonderful but if he doesn't there will be another 'him' to follow. The Universe is infinite and abundant and there is never just one of anything. Stay strong and positive and keep getting positive joy from the signs, if you can. Let them excite you because you desire is on the way to manifestation! Much love to you. That's interesting thank you for sharing your experience. Like I've explained these signs are extremely blatant to the point even someone as skeptical as I couldn't turn away from them. Though I have tried. They usually occur every time I actually "let go" or give up, which is very strange to me. I don't understand
(14 Oct '13, 19:04)
The Chosen One123
I'm sure this person will manifest for you, hence the signs but the Universe will make sure that you are whole and balanced and not 'needy' for love. It's as if you can't have the relationship until you're in a strong place within yourself, and then, of course, the relationship has the best chance of success with no ego games and desperate attachment. Keep us posted on your progress :)
(15 Oct '13, 10:56)
Yes
It's still tiring. I'm tired of all of the hypocrisy, living in the unknown and having to go by faith on this. I've declared numerous times to myself (or god, universe, whatever you prefer to call it) that if it's not going to work then just let it die. It has yet to. So I guess in a way I have tried giving up and moving on but as I told someone else in this forum it's like the universe ceases to let me. In all honesty I don't want to, I just "give up" when I feel I have no other option.
(16 Oct '13, 12:00)
The Chosen One123
Thank you that's very encouraging. I'm frustrated because I don't know what to make of all of it I guess. Needing to be a "complete" person instead of needing someone to complete me is the basis of what you're saying and I couldn't agree more with you on that.
(16 Oct '13, 12:01)
The Chosen One123
showing 2 of 4
show 2 more comments
|
|
I would say the key here is to recognize whether it 'is' a sign from God or the universe or just in your head. If it IS a sign from the above then you should NEVER give up. If it's only in your head then it's probability not that important. I'm extremely skeptical of everything and go through a process of denial every time these things happen. They got to the point of irony and coincidence that I possibly could not do so. Thank you, I agree with you
(04 Oct '13, 18:54)
The Chosen One123
|
|
first I will answer your question: when the universe or God gives you sign to keep going in the midst of extreme contrast and struggle, is there still a time to give up? first God does not struggle and is not trap in contrast, people in this world are because of their own division they are blind to the truth and cannot see and they cast stone and are trap under the same stone, and the do not properly split that pieces of wood. let me ask you does age have anything to do with love? here is what you said: I don't mean love in the childish way an emotionally attached teenager would put it but the real thing. The man old in days will not hesitate to ask a small child seven days old about the place of life, and he will live. For many who are first will become last, and they will become one and the same. you also said that you do not know why; then why did you not ask her? also after 5 time you do not know this person. maybe if you would be a little more interested in her you would know her better. what was it the 4 other time before do you know? what did you miss or what are you blind to? what is it that you do not want to see? when you will not be blind to this you will know the truth about this and will know what to do. but for the moment you are in darkness about this. Have you discovered, then, the beginning, that you look for the end? For where the beginning is, there will the end be. Blessed is he who will take his place in the beginning; he will know the end and will not experience death. a little child of seven days just told you this. and this little child is worthy. Let there be light, be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy. update: I have found this video that will show you something that you might have miss Well he did say he was agnostic ... so not sure what signs God or the Universe are giving him -- he did not specify. Funny he's asking for " the truest answers from your heart, mind and soul guided by source or god." hmm ... interesting, don't you think?
(03 Oct '13, 21:32)
ele
@ele he is looking outside for what he should be looking inside. Anny how, I sent him to look at the reflection of is water to find and know him self. Since if someone cannot know him self, how can he know other. that he is agnostic or any other religion does not change the truth. there is all ready many religious people not properly splitting the piece of wood and not lifting the stone, seeking only to divide to boast and inflate their ego.
(04 Oct '13, 00:14)
white tiger
when they properly unite the word in truth, they will stop doing those things that they hate.
(04 Oct '13, 00:14)
white tiger
@White Tiger -- cool video.. Thanks! I never thought of agnostic being a religion; but you could say that. Atheism certainly is - they have their own celebrations & 'feast' days... Usually coincide with Easter or other religious holidays. ... and you're right ... our answers are always within....
(04 Oct '13, 00:21)
ele
@ele well Atheism are funny they do not believe in nothing and yet they celebrate religious holidays. one day they will know the truth and the truth will set them free. for the moment they put them self at the other end of the scale and they do the same in the opposite direction. very fee can see both side and see the middle where what is divided unite.-
(04 Oct '13, 01:02)
white tiger
it is like some that lives in the past and some that live in the future. fee are those that see past and future and live in the now where the past make the now and the present make the future. you see the one living in the past believe that past thing are better since there would not have the now that they have now. and the one living in the future see only new things as improvement for their now moment. unless they can see the point of view of the other person and see the truth about it they-
(04 Oct '13, 01:05)
white tiger
remain divided opposing each other. when they unite they can bring a better now in truth with out division, opposition, conflict, war. it is like a puzzle each see small part of it but unless they unite their piece they cannot see the big picture.
(04 Oct '13, 01:09)
white tiger
4
I would celebrate any holiday if it helps me avoid going to work. LOL
(04 Oct '13, 01:42)
CalonLan
... yes WT, united we stand, divided we fall.. Good analogy - like pieces to a puzzle - unity.
(04 Oct '13, 03:33)
ele
1
Good point about learning from mistakes. If we keep trying but never learning from failures we are stuck in a loop of failure. Doing the same thing and expecting different results is doomed to fail. But learning from mistakes and making changes each attempt is destined succeed.
(04 Oct '13, 10:27)
Wade Casaldi
1
@Wade also the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over & over again; but expecting different results.
(04 Oct '13, 15:36)
ele
@Calonlan I know for you any brake is a good brake. yet for one that does not believe in Anny thing, should he believe in a holiday that he does not believe in, just to get a brake. or is he going against is unbelief and denying himself? maybe he is not atheist at all and it is just a label he carry to be in opposition. then is he not opposing himself also? then is he not in failure about the position he takes? -
(04 Oct '13, 18:46)
white tiger
@white tiger, you have a very very interesting and engaging way of putting things as though you are speaking prophecy itself ;) it is true I have yet to find the light you speak of. I understand the underlying confusion here, I believe there is a higher power I just don't necessarily know what to call it and believe there are truths to all of them. I used God, higher power, source, soul so anyone of any belief could possibly help me. There is a difference in being agnostic and atheist
(04 Oct '13, 18:58)
The Chosen One123
1
eventually he will learn from is mistake change is label and is position. if not he will continue to do the same thing and will not grow from the experience. also @wade if that is your definition of insanity then many in this world must carry this label. since even your scientific people are doing this test to see if the result is constant. smile. @ele yes unity in truth with a pure heart a real peacemaker. Let there be light be the light that you can be experience and enjoy.
(04 Oct '13, 18:58)
white tiger
Lol >.< I hope I didn't cause too much confusion. "The answers I am seeking are inside of me", very deep.
(04 Oct '13, 18:59)
The Chosen One123
@the chosen one 123 yes you need to find the light, and to find the light you must walk on the water that as no ripple so that you can see your own reflection and get to know your self and know other. since someone that does not know himself cannot know other. and someone that cannot accept what is in him and comes from him needs to cast it on the outside on other. like Jesus lead by the spirit in the desert to be born of water and spirit. you first will be tempted and in darkness.-
(04 Oct '13, 20:28)
white tiger
seek the truth with understanding and a pure heart that is at peace. once you solve your inner division you will know your self and other in and out there will be nothing false in you. that is born of water. when this is done you will start to see the light, the living one that you are, the spirit and have a deep understanding of the division that was created in you so that the water and spirit becomes one, this is born of spirit.. Then with out fear you can cross the last narrow door. and go-
(04 Oct '13, 20:35)
white tiger
above to the kingdom. Jesus said it himself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbBmpaDBizA I am the way the truth and the life.
(04 Oct '13, 20:36)
white tiger
@White Tiger sorry, I did not mean to confuse "Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." ~ Albert Einstein
(05 Oct '13, 13:59)
ele
@ele do not worry , are you not better then the lilies of the field? there is something even more insane is that people are blind and claim that they can see. if it was true they would not be in division with them self and other, they would properly split that pieces of wood and lift that stone and would find me there. since they would not do what they hate, they would love their God with all their soul and spirit and they would love their neighbor as them self.
(06 Oct '13, 15:36)
white tiger
they need to be born of water and spirit overcome and past through the last narrow gate and go above. seek you first the kingdom of God. blessed are the pure of heart, blessed are the peacemakers, the mystery is reveal by my word for all those that have eyes to see and ears to hear.
(06 Oct '13, 15:39)
white tiger
"The answers I am seeking are inside of me", very deep. Well @Chosen One - perhaps this quote from the Secret will help you understand. "People go through their whole lives chasing everything in the material world, and they fail to discover the greatest treasure of all, which is within them. Shut your eyes to the outside world. Direct your thoughts and words to the inside of you. The Master within you is the key to all the treasures in the world."
(09 Oct '13, 01:09)
ele
1
It's a very lovely quote and good reminder. Does give me much to consider.
(14 Oct '13, 19:02)
The Chosen One123
I'm glad you appreciated the quote & it resonates with you.
(15 Oct '13, 00:30)
ele
1
Seriously thanks for being so interested and taking the time to help me out. Maybe one day I will be able to do the same for you, and for everyone else who has given me input.
(16 Oct '13, 12:03)
The Chosen One123
showing 2 of 25
show 23 more comments
|
|
If you are constantly getting signs not to give up then the simple answer is TRUST THE UNIVERSE. The Universe does NOT play games. It might be that your lesson is to trust. It might also be that she has to go trough certain stages herself.There is also a matter of timing which the Universe can see which you can't. Human logic is very limited. I hope this puts your mind at rest. 1
Still trying to figure out how someone who claims to be an agnostic is getting signs from God or the Universe.
(05 Oct '13, 13:55)
ele
@ele Look up the definition of agnostic ;) atheists do not believe in anything and are not even open to the possibility of a higher power, in which case that WOULD be a major contradiction.
(05 Oct '13, 20:04)
The Chosen One123
@The Chosen One123 I know the difference between the two. Do you? An agnostic is someone who believes human beings simply cannot know anything metaphysical or beyond the physical realm; therefore, they cannot know whether things like spirit, angels or God exist at all. Whether you say God, Universe, Source, Spirit, Consciousness, Higher Power, Creator etc. it means 'about' the same. (cont)
(06 Oct '13, 01:14)
ele
1
(cont) You are also asking the IQ members for "the truest answers from your heart, mind and soul guided by source or god" & you also say "When the universe or God gives you signs to keep going". There is a reason I put the world claims in italics. Think about it..
(06 Oct '13, 01:15)
ele
Yes! I do know, I was just giving you a hard time :) I just can't win with you can I?
(14 Oct '13, 19:05)
The Chosen One123
1
lol I was hoping you recognized the irony & you were only kidding. Now that you 'know'; you may want to make sure Juliet's parents know this also.
(14 Oct '13, 23:53)
ele
1
Hey by the way, I don't agree with that definition of Atheist. In fact, listen to Sam Harris' definition of an atheist, we do not believe in a biblical, human like, speaking, live in heaven while watching earth news in TV, condemning to hell, "God". But that does not mean we do not believe in our inner and outer universes, in the power of our energies and mind, the secrets that meditation unveils. In fact many atheist believe in spiritual concepts, or are sure they are spirit in human form.
(15 Oct '13, 20:45)
Justice_and_Truth
Ah well I will look that up then. I have quite a few friends who declare they are atheist which according to what they believe it's strictly evolution theory, science, etc. which is NOT bad by any means. I just think there is a lot more to it, so I've used that label instead of atheist. You're right though
(16 Oct '13, 12:05)
The Chosen One123
The thing is @ele I was explaining to @Justice_and_Truth that she believes what I believe (I had nothing to do with that) but has done this before and acted otherwise to please others. Even flat out gone back and readjusted her belief system to my face in an attempt to self convince. That is from a long time ago and I left it in the past because we were both pretty young. I've said it's pretty much sink or swim at this point and this may sound crazy but when i say this relationship has a
(16 Oct '13, 22:37)
The Chosen One123
deeper meaning than your standard one I mean it, it's a hunch I've always had and you'd have to be in my position for me to explain it (other than explaining to you guys the "signs") Whew...It's early in the morning forgive my rambling LOL.
(16 Oct '13, 22:40)
The Chosen One123
showing 2 of 10
show 8 more comments
|
|
" she has severed contact with me for one reason and one reason only, fear" Im interested in how you know this, has she told you? Also I wonder what she is fearful of, if indeed she is. I'll be honest here, all of the women that have rejected me and had no further contact did so because they didn't want to be with me anymore. Its going to be very hard for anyone on this site to advise you. Because were only getting your side of the situation. I guess if the lady in question posted too we would have more of an idea what to say. Is your friend as upset about the split as you are? You've not really given us an inkling about how she feels! Is she posting on any sites asking how this can be remedied? or is she getting on with her life? Unlikely she is getting on with her life from what I've heard. I'll spare everyone the details. That is not my assumption that is fact.
(05 Oct '13, 20:08)
The Chosen One123
Well Monty, that rings true with me. @The Chosen One "Fact" ... hmm ... when you hear something second hand, the person who tells you is not the person who originally said it & it may not be true. You may want to look up the definition of hearsay because I don't like confusion. If you want the best advice, details are necessary. You've haven't said what 'signs' you are receiving either.
(06 Oct '13, 01:19)
ele
1
I think " keep going" in the question raises another question. When you say "keep going" Chosen One what do you mean? I kind of assume it means to carry on using faith, metaphysical means etc to get her back. If that is the case you could kill 2 birds with one stone. You could use the manifestation box method, "TRUELY COMMIT" to the universe and then get on with your life.
(06 Oct '13, 02:27)
Monty Riviera
1
Lets be honest here, if you don't have the faith to believe the MB method will work, then your probably wasting your time with any other method anyway. I truly cant think of a better way of getting what the " real you" wants than committing this to the box ( universe ) and letting go. The " keep going" smacks of a little non detachment to me. Personally I would put " perfect mate" on the request NOT a specific name.
(06 Oct '13, 02:31)
Monty Riviera
If you believe the Universe/God is giving you signs, then it follows that you must now commit this to your higher self and leave it there. God/Higher Self/Universe/Source isn't giving you the go ahead to immerse yourself in a load of "struggle" higher self doesn't do struggle. I imagine struggle happens when higher and lower self arnt in alignment.
(06 Oct '13, 02:35)
Monty Riviera
1
Funny thing is,im going thru something similar just now, although im kind of where your ex partner is on this one. Ive been struggling too.......I think I had better take my own advice! I often don't you know.
(06 Oct '13, 02:38)
Monty Riviera
what is the MB method please?!
(06 Oct '13, 06:14)
jodie
Monty Riviera some people just want to separate for their own reason, need not be the fault of the other party. Because "some people behave good because they are good, and some act bad, because they are bad." says Jesus--Mathew 12:35
(07 Oct '13, 02:06)
T D Joseph
MB = manifesting box,find a nice box, write a request on a bit of paper.... put in box....forget. Its a method people have been using for years . Stingrays posts have more info about it...but frankly theres not that much to it really , And I agree TD some split ups arnt because people are good or indeed bad. Its just because they stop wanting to be with each other. No great sin in that I think.
(07 Oct '13, 10:14)
Monty Riviera
Ah yes @Monty Rivera that's exactly what I'm getting at. And would you care to elaborate some details on your situation? Might help me understand things from the opposite perspective. I agree with what you say, and as I've said these "signs" I am getting are extremely blatant to the point I couldn't even deny them. I won't get into specifics. Every time I give up or let go of the situation something happens to get it right back on track, all of it. Very confusing when I've tried letting go
(14 Oct '13, 19:09)
The Chosen One123
and the universe ceases to let me. That's what it feels like no exaggeration.
(14 Oct '13, 19:09)
The Chosen One123
If you were saying that you're in the opposite position then I wouldn't sever contact with whoever you're dealing with, not at all. You should explain your situation, your fears and be open and honest about the situation. It will save them and YOU a lot of heartache in the long run, trust me. Who knows, they could be in deep pain momentarily and you could (later on in life) regret not giving this person a chance or at least explaining the predicament at hand. Honesty is key in anything
(16 Oct '13, 12:07)
The Chosen One123
1
Hi Chosen one, appreciate your comments. Heres my take. I was very tempted to solve my current issue myself, to take steps...to apply my "perceived" wisdom, lots of things. But I then did indeed decide to take my own advice. I put this persons name in my manifesting box, and its still there. It will now stay there! I now couldn't give a toss what happens....its no longer "my" issue. I was SO SO tempted to "get involved" but I really cant be bothered.
(19 Oct '13, 03:31)
Monty Riviera
1
Why struggle over this? I have direct access to my higher self, a higher self which "knows " everything, can do everything and is everything. My "issue" isn't even an issue anymore. Its in the "box", I feel a tremendous sense of pure relief. Its not my problem now mate, my lower dimensional self can get on with my life, the higher part of me is now swinging into action. It really is that simple. Job done.
(19 Oct '13, 03:34)
Monty Riviera
I agree if your in a position of no longer being able to take action, or if it's stressing you out more than it's worth. Thanks, hope your situation works out.
(20 Oct '13, 11:13)
The Chosen One123
showing 2 of 15
show 13 more comments
|
|
Well in answer to your original question, I would say you don't really need to make a decision between either keeping going (despite the contrast) OR giving up. You could try a 3rd way! The 3rd way could be this: You are obviously feeling a lot of heartache from your question, so instead of concentrating on how you can get this girl you love back; you could instead leave that question to one side and concentrate on how you can feel better yourself and not be plagued by this heartache!! Because, what you have done, is given this girl and your heart-break situation the complete power over you - the power to make you happy or destroy you. Why not take back your power and say: I am no longer going to suffer at the mercy of this situation! I am better than this; I can give myself happiness for ME; my happiness is not dependent on what this girl decides to do! If she has left because you are not a Christian, then there is nothing much you can do; If it is because her parents are forcing her to, then you will have to wait till she has the courage to stand up for what she believes... If she wants to be with you , then she will; if she doesn't she won't; it really is that simple, but why let your whole life rest on someone who doesn't want to talk to you for now?! Aren't you better or worth more than that?! I say this harshly to try to get you to see that it isn't good idea to give someone else the key to your happiness. Find your own key and if they want to come back to you, then, hey, maybe you'll let them in, if you feel like it and you haven't met someone who wants you around... don't take this badly, i am just suggesting it. and remember when sth is cut short by whatever circumstances (here, its her parents maybe) it will always feel unfinished, more of a draw etc; whereas say you'd gone out together for 2 years you might have gotten bored by now... who knows... the future is not fixed..if you change, what happens will change... if you got real happy and went out with a supermodel, this girl may want you more - people are fickle like that! people always want more what they can't have..unless they are quite mature...u sound mature...you can do this: be happy for YOU and your life...don't let someone else's decision stop you from being the true person you are...! good luck I feel like I'm trapped in the movie the notebook although that seems to be everyone's favorite love movie turns out it's a living hell. I've yet to see it but my cousin pointed that out to me humorously so. It's one of those situation and uncannily closely related to those circumstances.
(05 Oct '13, 20:11)
The Chosen One123
|
|
Sorry if I don't really have an answer, I might have a couple of questions for you, they'll come up as I explain my similar situation... it's kinda like the comment up there in your question with lots of questions, I liked it by the way, but i'll share my story briefly, btw questions are sometimes better than answers, because you can't really use the answer of some else's experience. Well I'm writting because I, just today, happened to have a possible very alike situation. I am a believer in an awesome universe, with some buddhist in it backed with quantum physiscs, and in summary, I'd like everyone to be happy, but to be councious, to be fair, to be true to themselves and others, and leave ignorance once and for all. I don't believe in any biblical or mythical god at all, they give a childish and totally incomplete idea of our great universe in my experience. Well, back to my original pint, because of my way of thinking, and being, my, no longer girlfriend, pretty much summed all my personality up by saying that I was "unpredictable". I couldn't believe it, we had a great month, I was taking every step so sure that I would do all things right this time, the whole month was pure happiness and laughs, probably it was the best starting relationship i've ever had, I was being myself, and I was making her really happy by just being myself, it was like a dream. We had a couple (litterally just a couple, one at the begining, and one today) of missunderstandings, flaws of mine in communication aspects, I tend to try to say things with few words, or I try to say things that should be very carefully said, I just burst them out without taking care of what words I use (oh well). Anyways, besides that, it seemed almost magical, I spent awesome time with her, and I was sure it was the other way around. Perhaps she started having doubts begining with my support for cannabis and it's legalization, even though she at last understood that it was a very misunderstood plant, with great attributes that were purposely hidden by private interests (don't know if you agree, but just go on). I also was mechanical in my way of life, calendars were not a rule for me, they did not limit me, if I wanted to follow the current schedule I would, if not, I would improvise, you (and her also) wouldn't believe how well things turned for me most of the time even in my (apparent) disorganized way. I also had the, perhaps cocky, idea of giving money to a poor beggar yesterday, who "blessed me" in the "christian way", and I turned it away saying "I don't believe in your god" in front of her (My girlfrield, I think that ###### her off). Ok I'm getting carried by my story, here come the questions. Perhaps, are we too open about our findings?(or our beliefs, knowledge, certain or uncertain facts) Should we keep it much more private until we are wise enough to put it in simple words?. You may be agnostic, I'm not sure if you pay attention to conspiracy theories, but there are some I've followed closely and they become way too obvious, way too clear. This world is crazy, there seems like evil men everywhere are trying desperately to keep us in prison. I talked a lot about it, and even though I always found a way to make a joke and break the ice (when she seemed to be overwhelmed), maybe it was too much for her. Am I just scaring people away by our curiosity of how to break free? Are we so lost? or are the so lost they could never see the light of truth if it hit them in the forehead?. Should we learn to chooser our words better? To blend in the rest of society as if we were never intending to break free of it? Do we become too critical? too harsh? too arrogant? Perhaps you havent talked about these things, but when we tend to have a different, perhaps wider, maybe even narrower views of life, but we feel we're on the right track, and life in many ways rewards us like we are on the right track, we just feel the need to tell, the need to let others know there is a way for things to go great, for people to be happier in a much more simple way, much more filling way that just, studying hard, working like a robot, making money, payoff bills, buy tv, watch tv, have a couch, have a bed, go to bed, get up to work, eat, drink, sleep again. Did I say something wrong perhaps? did I force her into my view of life? Even if I am in the path to freedom, there is no way I can force somebody to be free, I would not be freedom then. But if I shut it all up, would I stop being myself? Could I find a wiser way to show the path? Am I so sure I'm on the right path? If you're anwswer is pretty much, "I never said much to her, or if I did, I was never pushy, or rarely tried to convince her of anything, in fact I never insisted on a subject, I was very aware, yet non-concerned with her views of life" Then all I can say man, is that life, sooner or later, is about to give you a very pleasant surpise :). Better yet, you'd be a much wiser man to face this next surprise. So I guess you shouldn't worry, and I guess neither should I. My best wishes. the dead are not alive and the living will not die. so much division in this world. Every one is wearing is label thinking that it is better then someone else label. yet they do not know them self and since they do not know the living one that they are inside they cannot know the living one outside. then why cast stone? and not properly split that piece of wood that they see in their neighbor eyes? Do they think that they are in truth when they are not even able to make sense of what they are-
(15 Oct '13, 21:12)
white tiger
saying. if you do not know your self you dwell in poverty and you are that poverty. then why see the lack or the speck of saw dust in your neighbor eye? when you have a beam in your own eye. why cast that stone? do you think it make you look better in other people eyes? or does it show your beam in your own eye? find the truth for your self get to know your self that is where the journey begins. when you find the beginning then you will know the end.
(15 Oct '13, 21:20)
white tiger
1
Have you discovered, then, the beginning, that you look for the end? For where the beginning is, there will the end be. Blessed is he who will take his place in the beginning; he will know the end and will not experience death.
(15 Oct '13, 21:21)
white tiger
Well just to make sure, I'm not casting a stone on him :S. Those are questions I make myself, and I shared the questions... I know I have a big flaw, but if I don't ask myself questions, or meditate a lot, won't be able to find it. Very interesting your comment though, I'll have it in mind.
(16 Oct '13, 06:49)
Justice_and_Truth
Hmm, in an unexpected way somehow you asking those questions did actually give me, if not a couple answers, some conclusions at best. Sorry to hear about your situation, truly, although you seem to have a pretty positive outlook on it. Even if you didn't flat out say that I can just tell by the undertone of what you've written. The whole religious thing is a whole other topic in and of itself, though closely related to both our situations really. Maybe your boldness in your beliefs
(16 Oct '13, 22:17)
The Chosen One123
(and in your life all together) may have not necessarily turned her off, but scared her away. From my experience people tend to turn away from things that actually resonate with them on some level and only run because they don't want it to because of social and religious pressure, as well as leading your girl to question her own beliefs. Having someone question their beliefs is not a bad thing, question everything but believe in ONLY what you feel within your heart whether it's Christianity or
(16 Oct '13, 22:20)
The Chosen One123
Buddhist or agnostic, etc. Good for the both of you in many underlying ways (experience wise), bad for the both of you in the more apparent aspect since it's completely hindering what COULD BE and from what you've said already a pretty amazing relationship. That's what i hate and what frustrates me to no end, when two people truly want to be together but let things get in the way and all out of fear of either social persecution and even spiritual freedom. Things like that urge people to lie, run
(16 Oct '13, 22:24)
The Chosen One123
hide and even flat out deny. Nonetheless, I've gotten carried away. Maybe you are too bold in stating your beliefs with her, but just make sure she knows she has the freedom to speak her mind also and that you are open to her beliefs (which you should be). Anyways, no I've never forced mine on her and in fact the real kicker is that she actually believes what I believe and always has, but proceeds to act otherwise in front of others. That was pretty profound you pretty much saying you can't
(16 Oct '13, 22:28)
The Chosen One123
force people into freedom otherwise that wouldn't be freedom. I, in no way shape or form am trying to get anyone to believe in what I do. If someone seeks freedom in what I believe then so be it, and she DOES and is just too scared to act on it. Thanks for your thoughts and sharing your story. I know I'm only 17 but I accept and admit when I'm wrong and in my heart I don't believe I am. I feel like the path to true freedom is the most difficult, but hopefully will be worth it. I hope my and your
(16 Oct '13, 22:31)
The Chosen One123
will have a complete turn around. Give me a response I'm interested to hear what you have to say
(16 Oct '13, 22:31)
The Chosen One123
lol @Justice Aren't you the dude who went to jail for holding onto your "friends" cocaine for him? If I recall correctly, you were keeping it in your own home for him. Silly - Silly! Was your 'gf' aware of this? Enough said.
(17 Oct '13, 00:58)
ele
That's heavy hmmm, still good response he gave me though. Sounds like a whole lot of trouble...
(18 Oct '13, 12:50)
The Chosen One123
Am I that transparent or are you just that intuitive Romeo? lol That was not the only reason I wrote what I did. Stupidity is NOT Sexy. Yes, everyone makes mistakes. His gf is not into cannabis - period. He was not showing her any respect & possibly putting her at risk if he was in possession of cannabis when he was with her or smoking it, depending on the laws where he lives. It's also possible he is still on probation. In my area of the world, cops tend to watch people who have (A)
(18 Oct '13, 16:37)
ele
(B) violated drug laws & have been incarcerated; particularly when it comes to drugs like cocaine & meth. Some ppl never take any responsibility & blame & justify as they go through life. Some have to learn the hard way via the school of hard knocks.
(18 Oct '13, 16:39)
ele
Could be a bit of both :/ well I see your point. I'll wait for him to respond before I say anything else...but @Justice_and_Truth what @ele said are some other possibilities to consider in your situation. I don't know I don't want to offend anyone I've appreciated everybody's answers so far
(18 Oct '13, 18:36)
The Chosen One123
1
... apologies Romeo. Was not my intention to put you in the middle. There are NO sides. No arguments. I was stating my opinion after reading his posts based on my perceptions. I'm glad you "got something out of his response."
(18 Oct '13, 18:52)
ele
1
Hehe I might not be quite wise yet, but i'm always happy to be of help! Make sure to keep your mind positive, it's the best way to catch passing opportunities, if you keep it negative, they'll hit you in the face and you'll never notice! :)
(19 Oct '13, 06:37)
Justice_and_Truth
No you didn't put me in the middle of anything I didn't think that. I just didn't want to offend anybody LOL. Thank you guys
(20 Oct '13, 11:14)
The Chosen One123
showing 2 of 18
show 16 more comments
|
|
In my humble opinion, you are suppose to first feel 100% whole and happy (thus not empty or lacking) on your own. Try and remember when you first attracted a person in your life, at that specific moment I'm pretty sure you were not feeling empty or in lack of. Feeling empty or in lack, means you will be attracting more of it! This is not a feeling of someone when they feel in love. When in love, love is reciprocated (and yes there is the feeling of insecurity from both perhaps as they are getting to know each other, in this case again like attracts like) However at this moment you are questioning and wondering and confused about what the other person thinks and feels (you know she loves you but yet why are her actions contradicting) this questioning and insecurity will only lead you to more questions and reasons to be insecure. So try it again and position yourself where you would want to be. Feeling the emotions you would want to feel, thinking the thoughts you would want to think, speaking the words you woulds speak and perhaps even the the actions that you would act as if you were already in the relationship. But the relationship after all this that you will have developed will be with yourself, a better and stronger one. Then you are happy and loving with no expectations, and who would not want to be around you??? Everyone will !!! do you get my point?? |
If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website
Any answer given to you is valid. Although their validity depends on perception they are viewed through. 10 different answers given to you will be all right. Listen to your heart, or the universe, or some stranger, or no-one at all, it doesn't really matter.
Anyway, you wanted an answer, here's mine - ditch her and keep on dancing through life. From my pov, you are willing to pay too much for too little value.
There are thousands of girls like her. Eventually you may bump into another one.
@Cal Yes and all 10 answers will be based on their own unique perceptions based on their experiences, preconceived notions & prejudices. I agree - keep on dancing - she is - she "danced" away 6 months ago.
You're right thats advice I didn't want really. But I see your points. I just believe people give up to quickly on these things and miss out therefore becoming lost in an inevitable and eternal "what-if". However, thank you both
1st to clarify - my point was everyone's view is going to colored by their own personal experiences & biases. We all relate; but we're coming from our own unique perspectives.
"I just believe people give up to quickly on these things and miss out therefore becoming lost in an inevitable and eternal "what-if""
Well 6 months seems like a long time, especially at your age. When I was 17, 6 months felt like a year. Time flies when you get older. How much time are you willing to give to this? I know a guy in his 20's - been 5 yrs. I also know a guy who hasn't been able to get over it in 35 years & many other guys in between.
Do people really give up easily, or is it you refusing to give up because you believe they give too easily? Is giving up in seconds considered a weakness so you wanna show off your strength by holding on? Maybe people who give up seemingly too fast have much clearer clarification of what they want from life, thus their clear agenda allows them to waste as little time as possible, which would be actually strength.
Regardless of what you do, it will result in an experience of some sort. Have fun
Yes I truly believe people give up too easily. Thanks though, I'll try
like I said before you are responsible of your own choice not of the choice of other. why make your self sad because someone else makes some choice that do not agree with your own? there is nothing to give up or to hold on. to who do you want to show your strength? who do you think is the faster, the one that is in darkness and do not see or the one that is in the light and see? when you will know your self you will know other and when you will have no division in you and outside of you then you
will see in your self and in every one. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty." so make good choice be the light that you can be and do not dwell in poverty that darkness does not help you or any one else. like I have said before if you do not know the living one that you are how will you ever know the-
living one outside of you? will you just know him on the surface of the shell that is the flesh, will you judge after the flesh? or will you lift that stone and properly split that piece of wood? the choice is your to make use the time imparted to you wisely.
are you still looking for a miracle? be the miracle. be the light that you can be, Let there be light, experience and enjoy. clean the inside of your cup. no matter how something gets dirty it is never to late to clean it up. have a little faith in your self you can do it. the keys are not hidden any more. that is if you believe that I am telling you the truth.
Wise words white tiger
OH AND TO ANYONE WHO HAS YET TO RESPOND OR GIVE THEIR "ANSWER" ON THIS QUESTION FEEL FREE TO DO SO. I'VE YET TO CHOOSE A WINNING ANSWER LOL
White tiger what do you mean "be the miracle" I don't know how or what I would even do.