Jai I say this with the utmost respect for where you are at...

As long as you allow the past to keep programming the present, the future you're creating will simply be a replay of the same old, same old.

You have to let it go to allow something different to come.

What happened is gone but You keep it alive by replaying the same record over and over and continue to let it have power over you. I genuinely hope and pray you find a way to let it go so you can actually start living and I say that from the heart.

My counselor pointed out this fact...He said to me, "Stop living your story, and start living your life!" Hmmm. Is writing this book living my story?

I couldn't even begin to count the number of times this question has been answered dating back to 2009. Everyone on IQ has been telling you to let go of your past and stop living your past. How is this news to you? It boggles my mind.

Thank you, Monty. Your advice was the first that I am seriously considering...you did not attack me or refer to anything really personal.. I appreciate that so much.

@Jai I saw no attacks. As for personal - what do you expect - the majority of your questions are very personal in nature. You use IQ like its your personal journal. About the only thing you haven't shared with us is info in regards to your sex life with Wade.

This is NOT the first time someone told you there was no market for this type of book. This is one of the reasons I suggested fiction because there is no market for such a book unless of course you can prove your claims & arrests are made & there was media coverage. IMO, arrests should be made if your claims are true. Have you contacted the authorities ? An alleged murder took place & according to you, your Uncle is still in charge of this satanic cult which is still active.

My uncle was/is the head of a Satanic Cult, and I was abused and tortured in so many ways that it would give you PTSD just to read about it.

I was standing just behind a man. My uncle came up to him, and shot him with a very large handgun. I saw the spray of blood, and got brains all over me. They then took the body and burned it. My mom took me to the burning, and made me watch. It is actually really messy to shoot someone in the head...the movies make it look so clean. I do suppose it might depend on the gun, though.

http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/80436/am-i-beyond-the-point-of-being-able-to-fix-myself

I have a friend from childhood who has been missing for over 25 years. His siblings would love to know what happened to him. So would I. His mom went to her grave not knowing & I'm sure this factored heavily in her shortened lifespan. I'm also acquainted with a couple mothers who have sons who are missing & they can't find peace. They want answers.

When you posted your question 6 months ago and told us about the murder, I asked you to contact the authorities. Have you? You've put me in a terrible position @Jai. You stated your Uncle murdered someone & was a sexual predator. You also mentioned his cohorts, who you know by name also sadistically molested children. You stated your Uncle is STILL alive and is STILL in charge of a Satanic cult. If this is true, how many children have he and his buddies raped or murdered? You've known about the satanic abuse for 20 years now. It's my understanding you didn't recall the murder until much later.

You said on several occasions your wanted to write this book to save lives. How many lives have been destroyed due to these predators? You could ease the pain of a family who is missing a loved one.

If you're not going to contact the authorities, I am. I'm going to contact both the police dept & the newspaper office in your hometown & I should have done this 6 months ago. I will pass on all your posts & let them take it from there. I have no clue if your stories are true & I realize no one in your family believes you. If your allegations are true, I want your claims investigated & these predators stopped. Someone is missing this man. He had parents & possibly siblings - maybe a wife or kids. Someone misses this man.

If your allegations turn out to be true, you'll have media coverage for your book & I'll rest better at night.

I have no clue if this is all a big joke or what. Maybe you are only asking hypothetical questions for the sole benefit of this site or perhaps this is one of your infamous rhetorical questions which you already know the answer to.

quote from 2009 "I am in my last year of college, with a double major in Divinity and English. I have already written a book about my childhood. I am trying to find a publisher for it. ~ Jaianniah (15 Dec '09, 07:43

ETA (to reply to @Monty's comments & add links)

First of all @Monty, Jai & I are both US citizens. There is a presumption of innocence till proven guilty & this right is guaranteed by our constitution. Without proof, I'm going to refer to the ppl she accuses & these "events" as alleged.

@Monty Jai did not confess to any crime. As for hearsay - rules differ per state. She has been accusing other ppl of horrific crimes. The rule of ethical judgment may apply & yes this site could sustain a 'black eye'. As for Jai, she claims to have knowledge of crimes. Technically she did conceal a crime or crimes if what she claims is true. I doubt if she would ever face criminal prosecution.

Jai said she "recalled" these alleged "events" over 20 yrs ago. The victim or parents of any child victimized in the last 20 years could file suit. The US is a sue happy nation. She' was an adult & a mother. Her admission of being mentally ill or having a mental disability would not save her from prosecution if a parent was determined.

The fact is, mental health professionals practicing in the USA would be counseling & encouraging Jai to report these child predators to the proper authorities.

Sure it's possible Jai did report these perpetrators to the proper authorities in the last year & for what ever reason did not share this info with us. I'm going on what she said on IQ. She stated she was not able to do this. Would you like me to provide you with a link?

She accused her mom of being an accessory to murder. She accused her uncle of murder. There is no statute of limitations on murder in the US. Numerous times she accused her Uncle in addition to other men of being pedophiles who abused & raped children. She accused her aunt of being an accessory after the fact. She's made derogatory remarks in reference to her X as well as multiple other family members. In the USA, you are presumed innocent until proven guilty.

Monty you suggested we hear from the girlfriend of @The Chosen One (aka Romeo) before commenting on his question. That was an excellent idea. Do you think we should hear what Jai's mom, aunts, children, X and sister have to say or should we convict ALL of them on Jai's word ? You said yourself, this has been discussed & debated. It's here online for all the world to see. Jai has told us she is mentally ill & suffers from schizoid personality disorder, DID & possibly other mental disorders. I'm not going to take her word w/o proof. I have valid reasons for doubting her story. Jai is NOT always truthful. I can back up what I say with facts.

My doubts make me skeptical but they do not invalidate her claims. She's a well respected member of IQ & has been a member since 2009. Even though I have doubts, I'm going to do the right thing according to my conscious @Catherine . I am going to ask the police in my area to assist me. As a respected & productive member of my real life community, I'm positive they will forward the info to the proper authorities on my behalf. I'm also going to provide this info to the newspaper back in her home town & they can investigate her claims if they believe there is any validity to them.

Hi Jai
I believe you and I believe that your experience is genuine.

I have this opinion because just when I started posting on inward quest, I was deeply into expanding my awareness of what ever that was hidden from society.

I asked my inner spirit to reveal to me all that has been hidden from view, and all this information started showing up in my life, including this following book recommended to me by a store owner who specialized in un-usual publications.

The book is "Transformation of America" by Cathy O'Brien
Here is the link to the pdf version of this book
http://ia600502.us.archive.org/10/items/TranceformationOfAmerica/tranceformation_america.pdf

WARNING!!! Cathy, herself warns the reader that if you are a victim of Satanic Ritual Abuse, you should not be reading here book until you have undergone the appropriate therapy to handle the information without triggering alters that are programmed to cause harm to the victim

It is for this precise reason, that in the past I have always given rather cryptic answers regarding questions on this subject.

Having read your comments, it seems that you have made more progress with you therapist that I initially assumed. Nevertheless, please head Cathy's Warning and consult your therapist before reading this book.

Cathy is the most famous of those who have come forward to reveal the existence of satanic ritual abuse and that it exist in the highest levels of our society.

It took me two weeks to recover from the absolute misery I experienced after reading this book because the curtains of illusion had been pulled away to reveal the true nature of how things are run.

If I felt this way without being a victim of the "system" I can only imagine what you are going through.

Roseanne Barr (from the famous TV Show Roseanne) is one of the few celebrities with enough courage to speak about, and support the revelation of Satanic Ritual Abuse.

She is seen here introducing Cathy O'Brien at a Speaking event.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh7SWnZMPng

I think that you have to take the path that you are on and deal with the memories of what happened to you before you can let go and move on.

Your situation is not one of where you can simply let-go of your past because part of the process of un-doing what was done to you involves dealing with the memories.

If I were you, I would try to establish some sort of contact with both Cathy and Rosanne Barr for advice that is from a perspective of understanding, because it really takes a recovered victim to understand how to guide you in your recovery.

Cathy has her own page called http://www.trance-formation.com/ through which she makes here two books available to the public, as her books are not carried in any of the mainstream book stores.

You may be able to establish contact with her using the "contact us" link on her page

Thanks to the internet, there is plenty of information out there regarding the truth behind ritual abuse, Mind control, and the Government involvement in these activities.

For those who really want to know what's going on here are some good sources of information.
This is one of the best blogs (presently in-active) on the subject of ritual abuse retarding most of the Famous Celebrities
http://www.pseudoccultmedia.net/

Fritz Springmeier is probably the best "expert" on this subject
Here is Fritz speaking at an event
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIbEEP27gS4

And his famous book "The Illuminati Formula to create an Undetectable Total Mind Control Slave"
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/mindcontrol/mindcontrol_index.htm

And also the follow - up book "Deeper Insights into the Illuminati formula"
http://www.whale.to/b/sp/springmeier.html

And finally the brilliant book by Texe Marrs "Codex Magica" is a great book for those who want to understand that the present structure of power in the world is not arrived at by the so called democratic process.
https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&ved=0CDAQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fold.nommeraadio.info%2Fmeedia%2Fpdf%2FRRS%2FMarrs%2520-%2520Codex%2520Magica%2520-%2520Secret%2520Signs%2C%2520Mysterious%2520Symbols%2C%2520and%2520Hidden%2520Codes%2520of%2520the%2520Illuminati%2520(2005).pdf&ei=1I-VUoWfEobN2QXE_oHwCg&usg=AFQjCNEmQ0eJAQryxBAob5STA9_nhSNhKQ

Anyone willing to take the time to understand the contents in the above links will arrive at an entirely different understanding of the secret signs that are hidden within most movies, magazine photos, advertising, political campaigns, hand shakes of public officials. (& famous people)

Once awakened to this realization, spiritual quest becomes the only worthwhile adventure left for the awakening soul.

There are plenty of people here who stress the idea that focusing on this information is "too negative" and counterproductive for the development of the spiritual self.

I happen to disagree with this opinion as I have discovered that expansion must include the awareness of everything, and not just things that are positive.

The inner spirit has to be able to handle the reality that there is much evil that coexists with salvation.

Denial is often a coping mechanism because most people cannot face the idea that such horror exist and they protect them selves from it by choosing not to know.

On the other hand it is not helpful to define one's entire life on the basis of dealing with the misery of humanity as Mother Theresa did.

There are so many inter-connected physical and non-physical reasons that support the existence of this horror balanced by humanity's ability to love.

David Icke does a pretty good job of bringing many of these reasons into one cohesive picture of understanding.

I do believe that the book you are working on will ultimately help you more in coming to terms with your abuse. But it can also keep you stuck in a state of perpetual victimhood.

In your case it seems that your book is a central part of your recovery and, in a way takes away the burden of having to carry these memories all by yourself.

Please keep your therapist informed of your decisions as they are far more equipped to handle the nature of your situation that any one of us.

You are a brave soul and I am proud of you for the progress that you have made so far.

Hang in there and please continue to be the wonderful instigator that you are.

I hope my answer here is helpful in some way.

"Help the world" That's a good aim Jai. But I would say this, does the world really need another piece of information about how bad things can be? The world has books, magazines,newspapers ,journals, DVDs ,tapes, radio and TV all very often the conduit for many tales of lust, greed. sex and betrayal. The world is awash with books and articles about your subject, theres nothing new there Jai, theres no revelation nothing in it to commend itself.

Its a re hashing of something that has been written about before. The world knows about organised rings of kiddi fiddlers and satanic cults, again nothing surprising there. You wont be telling most people what they don't know already Jai. As for people watching their kids, I think most people are aware that most abusers are either family members or close friends. Again no new revelation there.

Now would it be cathartic ? Maybe, but you've said your counsellor thinks you should be living your life and not this story. I agree with him. If your seeing a councillor Jai then do what he says! If hes no good and his council is unhelpful then stop seeing him.

My gut feeling is thou that this guy knows his onions. I would take his advice.

Theres nothing in that book that the world "needs" to know, or doesn't already know.

You need a new story Jai. This old ones been dragging you down. Let it go, do anything and everything to let it go.

Like Moses's body Jai, make it so no one will know to this day where this is buried!

I found the meaning of Satanic Abuse from Google prior I do not have idea of it. If something increases her strength I suggest her to go for it. Strength leads to all accomplishments and fearless to death.

We all do some or the other things in life to gain strength to move on in life. Something you trust and people won't let it done, then you need to explain them the important of that subject. If you can't explain, you should drop it because people around help you to improve your life. Fighting with them won't help in any scenario. Accept them or Convince them to live with them for happy and complete life. Love You.

Not all Satanists are evil and think like that.

I think a distinction should be made.

There are also cults of Christianity and other religions that believe in harming children (now some christian priests are being exposed).

The point is, not all Satanists are like this and there are a lot of people already out there directing much hatred to Satanists and judging them without actually knowing them thinking they are all the same.