My dear, I too have been locked in a prison of shame and fear as you now are. I was actually homeless. Yet, I did escape. There are so many parts of the puzzle that you seem to be missing, I may not be able to fit them all in this space, but I'll try.

1) Take a minute right now, to relax completely. Set anything that happened before THIS moment aside. Now set anything that might happen after THIS moment aside. How much pain are you in now? The answer should be "none", because there is no pain in the moment of NOW. That is your primary goal - to live in peace.

2) It sounds to me like you are not meditating. Though LoA doesn't push this, it should. It's an essential part of the process if you are living in despair. The vortex will only offer you temporary relief. Your despair is caused by mistaken beliefs, which entering the vortex doesn't address. You need to do some brain-damage control before you step with cofidence into another world.

Meditation has been PROVEN to ease anxiety and depression. What happens is that with regular mindfulness meditation, the amygdalae shinks. That's the fear/anxiety center of the brain that is responsible for the fight or flight response and your misery. When you are under long-term stress, as you are, you grow the amygdalae and that causes other problems. It atrophies the hippocampus. The hippocampus is responsible for memories and emotional control and may be the creative center. A withered hippocampus brings on a condition that has some resemblance to dementia. Under chronic stress, the frontal cortext shrinks. Rational thought is BLOCKED by fear or any intense emotion. So your REACTION to your current situation is keeping you in fear, blocking any creative routes out of it, and interfering with the rational thought that makes life beautiful.

Meditation, 20 minutes, 2ce/day (forever) will not only lift the fear and depression, but it will train you how to be disciplined in your thoughts. That's a very important part, because as undisciplined in thought as you are, you are not aware that you are NEVER not creating/manifesting. Think of your thoughts and actions as a prayer. Thoughts of shame are a prayer to make shame more pronounced in your life. Same with fear. Same with hopelessness. Meditation actually lifts self-esteem, which you sound like you are in need of right now.

3) Practice manifesting regularly. This will give you proof of how powerful you are. Every once in a while is not good enough. Don't attempt to manifest money while you are in deep financial straights. There is a reason you are in your situation. You must eliminate the belief you have that has brought this situation into your life. Meanwhile, manifest the things that money will buy. If you need to start small, do so. With enough practice, you will be amazed by how powerful you are. With that, the underlying belief in your helplessness and inadequacy will evaporate. As beliefs form the fabric of our realities, getting rid of mistaken beliefs is the same thing as getting rid of despair.

Speaking of inadequacy, I noticed how much emphasis you placed on your experience of shame. I don't understand why you feel shame. Perhaps you are a very judgmental person, so you project that onto life and thus think that others are judging you. No person whose opinion is worth considering would judge you for how you are creating your life. To help release you shame, start practicing the art of non-judgement. Entertain the idea of equality. Most people are unwilling to give up their inequality, which is sad because the "belief" in the need for it makes so many miserable - apparently yourself included.

4) Understand that words and actions are powerful unto themselves. Look at how you word your sentences and questions. You think you are stupid. that's a prayer. You're not stupid. You are just not sufficiently informed about how life works. Even your last sentence conveyed your belief that no one will answer your question or help you. Here is a fun exercise that I use in the mornings while I am in the shower (if life isn't already exciting). Ask yourself what wonderful thing is going to happen to you today OR what amazing thing that you are going to learn today that will help you in life. Add the joy of recognizing it to the question. Really feel it. I have found that all questions are answered if you are paying attention.

5) Start sorting through your beliefs in general. Most people's are a tangle of contradictions, untested assumptions, and outgrown superstitions passed down for generations - for thousands of years. If manifesting something requires belief that you already have what you want, then it makes sense that if you set up your belief system to be consistent with what you REALLY want, the need to manifest anything begins to go away. Things come.

6) do not discount that there is an underlying reason why you want to experience what you are experiencing, but hiding from that underling desire because you are ashamed of it. If that's happening, acknowledge it right away - like IMMEDIATELY! I'm not much older than you. Some years ago, my husband and I sold our large house, bought a motorhome, and spent almost six years traveling around America. Then we bought another house - much much smaller. Only a third of the size of the previous. We've been in it now for a few years and we are both saying that it's far too large. Life was way more pleasant and easier when we lived in 300 square feet. I don't care if people laugh at us when we decide that it's time to move again (we're clearing things out in preparation for that decision). I can't even imagine anyone laughing at us or judging us harshly when we do that. I met too many people who love their life in a 300 square foot RV. It frees up so much of our time that we can do other wonderful things. For us, it's about quality, not quantity. Our next house will be earth-friendly and SMALL. Hopefully, it will be almost entirely off the grid. It will be a "lifestyle" choice. OUR lifestyle choice. If you are basing your expectations on what you think others expect of you, then you are abusing yourself - very literally. You are missing out on the best part of life. What do YOU really want that money can't buy -- because I promise you this. If you were to manifest enough, you would soon realize that things don't provide satisfaction. You are longing for something more.

7) Life is a 4D work of art. All that you see around you is an artistic rendering that you have made. The best artists in the world (working with paints or sculpture or architecture) have created works they don't like, then scratched them because they didn't express what the artist wanted to express. You are an artist. If you don't like what you have created, don't panic and hide in shame. Change it. That's what gods do. You are a god. What god goes around abusing herself as you are abusing yourself now. Be gentle to and with yourself. When you start doing that, you will see the world start treating you more gently and lovingly.

8) There is a way to meet your own perfection. It's sad that few have done that. It takes the pressure off. It adds beauty to my own work of art. The instructions are too lengthy to post here, but if you are interested, we can email.

How to meditate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DaVB9lU5DY&index=6&list=PLxNAh7QGXuiIk3Rrk12L-lob9dAgw00z3

I think money is such a tricky subject for so many because it is incredibly difficult to override the beliefs that were put in place by your parents and your upbringing. If you were taught that $100 or $1000 is "a lot of money" that sticks and it's very hard to gain access to the large sums that we all want, to achieve more freedom.

From outside the vortex it's that one BIG subject that you just cannot ignore, as you need money every day, so it takes real commitment to change ingrained beliefs (patterns of thought) about money being scarce.

The easy thing is to just get in the vortex and tap into all the abundance that you have put there. But, when you have patterns of thought around money based in lack, worry and fear it's difficult to even touch the vortex, let alone stay in there long enough to 'see' the vast sums of money that are there.

That being said, there are plenty of processes available that can assist you in loosening up some of your money beliefs. The fact that you have a goal in sight is a good, positive start because you know exactly what beliefs you want to change.

To manifest a house you need to see it as a button rather than a castle in your mind so you want to start playing around, in your imagination, with those larger sums of money. To be a vibrational match to a house you need to feel as comfortable with the $300,000, $400,000, $500,000, $600,000 amounts as you are with the $100, $200. It can be done but it will take commitment. You need to play around with those large amounts DAILY to have a chance of tipping the scales over to feel the having of money rather than the not having of money.

Start small and reach upwards is easier to begin with. It's difficult to imagine too far out of your money comfort zone so I would start by imagining that your weekly budget for spending is now your daily budget for spending. So, if you currently have $1000 dollars per week imagine you now have $1000 a day. How would your life change from that point? What would you do differently? Would you buy more treats? Go out to dinner more often? Think of changing your car? Play with that in your imagination but really sit down and work it out. Get the calculator out, re-do your household budget taking into account this new income. Go online and search for the new things that you would buy with this new money.

The aim is to feel more comfortable with more money flowing through your life. The Universe will match reality up to what you're living OR what you're imagining so the more you play (and PLAY is the key word, have fun with it!) the more the Universe will reflect back to you what you're living (or in this case, imagining).

In other words, if you're currently spending a lot of time doing your budget and living your life based around small amounts of money the Universe will reflect back to you what you're thinking about money, it will send you those small amounts. If you spend your time thinking about large amounts of money, the Universe will reflect that back to you.

It always inside then outside, you think it and then you live it, so think thoughts of lack of money and not enough money and the Universe will let you experience the manifested reality of lack of money. Think thoughts of piles of money and the Universe will manifest piles of money in your reality.

Wealthy people have money because they don't ever put their focus on not having money, their thoughts are based around having plenty of money so the Universe manifests it. This can be your experience in or out of the vortex. There are plenty of unhappy people, living habitually outside the vortex, but with lots of money. They just don't have any resistant 'lack' thoughts on the subject of money.

I think this is probably the easiest way for you, to try to become a match to manifesting the money to buy the house. Of course, you could play in the same way imagining all the ways a house could just drop into your lap. A long-lost relative leaving you a house, finding a competition for a house and winning it, the lottery etc but I think those experiences can seem a little too far-fetched if you reside well outside the vortex. From outside the vortex you see the logical sides of things, the "odds" of it happening can cloud your vibration so then it cannot manifest.

Playing with larger sums of money in your imagination (practice every day until the thoughts of lots of money feel natural to you) is probably your best plan. :)

One last thing, as you practice this and time goes by you can test yourself by buying Vogue magazine - or a magazine that has clothes where a top or skirt is $1000 or $2000 - you need to get to the place where you think it's totally normal to buy a skirt for $2000. You don't think, "that's a waste of money" or "you could buy a car/sofa/home improvements for that", you just think, "$2000 that's a good price for a skirt." That's a really good way to see how you're doing with your new beliefs.

Good luck! :)

This is quite an interesting powerful thread. I love the honesty Westie conveys and the wonderful practical answer given by Gail. I think we are drawn to inward quest and LOA because something isn't working right in our lives and we are looking for new tools to navigate this earth.

Basically Westie you are experiencing a Obsessive -compulsive disorder--your mind is stuck in an negative mode that you believe is reality and it is reality until you intervene.

It is not easy but you can rewire your brain. It has been helpful for me to use the techniques described in THE MIND AND THE BRAIN Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force by Jeffrey Schwartz.

In a nut shell the method for rewiring your brain is this:as your negative thoughts or actions come up you RELABEL-RE-ATTRIBUTE-REFOCUS-REVALUE.
Along with meditation, exercise, everyday gratefulness and dietary discipline you will find the life you were born for.

I love you for your honesty and see you dancing in your wonderful home with a huge smile on your face!

Hi Westie,

Thanks for posting. I feel your pain, as I am in my mid-50's and have had to deal with situations that caused me to examine my entire life, trying to find out where I went wrong. I was looking for instant miracles, same as you. But what I did find as I moved through my issues was that I am capable of resolving them, perhaps not in the way I envisioned, but in the way that was readily available to me.

Life always provides. But it is our attitude about ourselves and the situation that presents the barrier. You say you are ashamed and filled with regret. I was prideful and wanted to do everything my way without help -- too ashamed to ask, too ashamed to let anyone know I needed help. That prevented me from seeing real-world resources that I had at my very fingertips. I did not like or want them, but resources they were nonetheless. While miracles like lottery winnings are part of our world, they are not before you right now.

Look around you and see the resources that are within your grasp now. You only see the miracle of a lottery. Yet, look for other resources. Those resources may be in the hands of friends, family, colleagues, even strangers, the government, etc., but they are resources available to you still. At the heart of the law attraction is moving into a state of appreciativeness, which when actualized, helps you to see that life never leaves you without alternatives. List those resources before you.

Be creative in thinking how you can own property and it does not necessarily have to be sole ownership: your goal is to own property, so think outside of the limited resources you say you own. Perhaps, you can get family, friends, colleagues, folks you know through other folks to join with you to buy property, or at least, help with the downpayment. (What about government programs for folks your age?) Why not think about leasing out rooms to others when you get the new house, such as veterans, college students, ex-prisoners? What about buying a multi-family dwelling? What programs exist that will help you with these measures?

You can offer to pay any investors back over 5 years/10 years, etc. Or pay them a small monthly payment each month, depending on their investment. So, for example if you need $10,000, can you possibly get $100 from 1000 people, or $1000 from 100 people? You can set up a plan to pay back some investors "dividends" of $10 each month, others $25 each depending on their investments, which you can start doing immediately or after a year or two. Another alternative is to set up your plan to pay back 1/2 the investors in 5 years and other other half in year 10? That is where the boarders come in to help with the mortgage and to provide you with extra cash to pay dividends to investors. Who knows what your situation will be in 5 years? 10 years?

Your investors could have an interest in your property or in a note that places a lien on the property, depending how you set it up. Talk to a real estate attorney about this, if this sort of thing piques your interest.

This would be like setting up a corporation that sells shares of the business to finance its operations. As you know, the shareholders have a stake in the business and if the company is successful, they get paid dividends on their investments or they can sell their shares back to the company or the company can buy them back. You say property values are steadily increasing and that seems also to be a great selling point for your plan.

you set a belief as to
the purpose and goal of this
life, yet it happens not,
is your mark off center

Do you have money enough for food every day? There are many that don't have money enough for food every day. Many times my and Jai's money runs out.

There is no bank money, no savings to rely on. What we have to spend is the total amount of money we have each month.

We don't have a car anymore, we told the bank to take it back. Do you have a vehicle? Can you afford gas?

I'm saying this to let you look at what you have. There is nothing to be ashamed about your life. The only way to be ashamed is by expecting others to be impressed with what you have and having nothing that impresses them with. What is the importance of them that you need to impress them? Even if they say something negative about you or your place. You could say something negative about their being so sallow.

You don't need to impress anyone and even if you do, where is the victory in doing so?

Someone that drives a fancy car, gets to hear many people that can't afford such a car say, "Whoa! Nice car!" then they reply back, "Yes thank you."

What does that achieve other than to inflate that person's ego some more. If he or she needs to hear that everyday then she or he needs help more than the poor person that is impressed with his or her car.

I too can relate to you situation. All mafestations are of a vibrational nature. The Universe shows you your beliefs and expectations through your experiences. Although it can be hard, I would really advise you to take a bit of a distance from the problems at hand. Again, it's all vibrational, the way it is shown to you is just the way of least resistance to you. You talk about shame and regret which both take your power away big time. Regret being the worst, because you you are giving your attention to past times which also give you a negative feeling. Please take a step back from the form in which it is presented and try not to find any explanation, like 'we do't steal', 'we are good people'. You need te be completely honest and embrace the fact that the Universe only includes and expands, whatever you emotionally put into it. Look closely at your feelings and embrace them. Look at your expectations of live before this manifested. Try some EFT and meditate. Find peace, because you deserve this. If necessary, read some uplifting materials on how the Universe operates and embrace these facts, although your life seem to show you otherwise. The Universe brings you a stream of wellness, try to find in yourself the beliefs that resist. You can do this, all of us have been there in some form. In the end, you can only gain. Start today and follow your heart into the best ways for you to strengthen your beliefs. Set the intention to loose all fear, all shame. Nothing to be ashamed of, you are living life. Make your current emotions your highest priority.

Hi Westie, I know how you feel right now. I've been going through something very similar myself. While I was unemployed this year and receiving unemployment benefits I started 2 businesses and 3 websites. Everything was going so well and I was happy and fulfilled for the first time in my life. Seems like I finally hit the road to happiness and my life's purpose. Before I could really get anything running smoothly, my unemployment ran out, leaving me broke and in a financial bind with my landlord. I felt so frustrated and as if I had made a complete mess of things. How could things had gone so awry when I was so close. Did I need to re-group? I know I wasn't gonna give up though.

The first thing I did was turned to the Law of Attraction to try to manifest money to pay my landlord. When you're desperate the law never works does it? Anyway, I came to this website seeking answers, seems I'm with the right people as well. I turned to the manifestation experiment 4 (inwardquest manifestation experiment 4) this has helped me so much. I can't thank "Stingray" enough for this one. I did everything on the spreadsheet and learned so much about myself. Westie I definitely had some hidden issues and blocks. When I was finished with it, I was at peace and had hope for my situation.

The universe does support your desire to buy a home again. I drive around my dream neighborhood often. I know that soon I will be living there. Where there's a will there is always a way. Right now though it's important to forgive yourself. Hey you made some mistakes, so did I. But, right after I did that manifestation experiment I picked myself up, dusted myself off and decided to save myself. I've got 2 businesses I started, with the help of God and the universe I intend to make them a success and buy another home again myself!! I think once you've released some blocks, forgive yourself, the solutions and ideas will begin to flow.

Do you think that this world is flat? of course not there is up and down. why view only the up as good? know this you can win and loose and loose and win. then why do you think that only winner are good? those with big house big money and lots of material possession. you can be rich one day and the next have nothing. then why inflate your ego to think that you are better then other? or maybe you live on the outside and need to appear good so that people will like you? maybe you placed your priority and your belief at the wrong place. but you know what? it is ok every one make mistake in this world. those that never make error are those that win and loose. and those that make error and learn from them are those that loose and win. learning from their error they will grow and overcome.

you want to know how can I even begin to believe that a miracle can happen for me.

well start by the beginning remove your false belief and stop looking for a miracle outside of you. the miracle needs to start from the inside out.

if you think that money and material possession is the only important thing, then you are missing what is really important.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YehxfK8oXx0

Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."

Let me ask you the rich man in the video that loves money and material wealth above all things.

does he respect the first and second greatest commandments?

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

you are not in darkness any more.

Let there be light, be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.